Author: SavingRain
Rating: R
Summary: After Naraku's death, Kagura needed to find her place in the world.
Note- I'm glad so many people are enjoying reading this, I hope that I can convert a few fans to Sess/Kagura and keep surprising you with twists. I rarely abandon stories, so you won't have to worry about that. Kurebake of course, is having fun badgering me about getting new chapters out complete with Sess/Kagura fluff…but if I did that, it wouldn't entertaining, now would it? insert evil laugh here Sorry for the awful grammar and spelling errors in the last chapter, I had a look at it a little while ago and realized that some corrections must be made. I'll go back and do that later. Onto the fic.
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It did not take long for the taiyoukai lord to find her: in her haste to leave the battlefield Kagura had left a considerable trail of blood that was attracting youkai from all over the valley. Sesshoumaru slowly made his way to her resting place, doing away with the youkai that stood in his way with little difficulty. He proceeded as he did with all things, gradually and with discipline. There was no reason for him to rush his journey, Kagura would not die.
Like all beings you must learn that your destiny is dependent on your own will. Your life hangs on threads that you weave. Your choices must be made with consideration of what you are going to be and what is to come.
He briefly halted his trek, observing several lesser youkai as they scrambled to get out of his way. Attracted by the steady flow of blood, they scattered when they sensed Sesshoumaru's stronger youki and dispersed into the darkness. As ageless, mindless, wraiths, they had no drive besides their instincts, no conception of what toll their actions had on the paths before them.
Actions and consequences…
Sesshoumaru paused in reflection, disturbed only by the pestering of his retainer. He turned a hateful eye on him to induce silence before turning back to the task before him.
Actions and consequences do not matter to those who have no life. Those who simply react to their primal urges only exist. Their actions are not meant to fulfill any purpose. They satisfy base desires, not out of any inward drive to achieve a goal, certainly not because of deep contemplation.
Sesshoumaru moved forward again, piercing through the darkness and creating a break in the waves of youkai who haunted the skies and the earth.
Life, like all things must end. All beings that come into existence are born with this understanding. Rin was not ignorant of her own life. She was well aware of the fragility of her existence in comparison to my own. She knew that I would go on while she would not.
The night was closing in. For any other being such an event would be a cause for fear. Sesshoumaru simply walked, going on as he had before. There was no change in his stride and no hesitation in his step.
He stopped short upon catching sight of Kagura sitting at the base of a tree, picking at what remained of her fan.
I have seen this before…
Kagura was hunched over, breathing haggardly, obviously in pain. The scent of her blood overtook his senses. She was far from death, but obviously suffering.
Rin.
Memories of his faithful ward easily beckoned to him, looming darkly on his mind. Her shadow seemed to move over Kagura's form.
But she did not bleed…
Rin had looked on me and smiled in her last hours…
He inclined his head slightly at the thought.
She was an old woman who smiled as brightly as she had in her youth.
Rin was not in any physical pain. I would never have allowed any harm to come to her.
Suddenly frowning at his morbid recollections, Sesshoumaru focused his eyes on Kagura's slumping figure. Like all things, the Lord of the Western Lands knew that the scene before him must be assessed with patience and a clear head. Wounds covered Kagura's sides and gashes ran up her arms. Her usual resolve had abandoned her body.
She fell from a great height, wounding herself on broken swords. It is likely that she was struck by arrows as she made her descent.
He keened his eyes slightly to see her face in the gloom. Something, slight and moving caught his eye. Sesshoumaru took in the scant scent of salt and water…
"You are crying."
Kagura's head snapped up at his voice. Obviously she hadn't heard him or Jaken approach in the din of thoughts rolling through her mind. She glared at him and stood, going against her best judgment in order to do so. Sesshoumaru watched her in silence, trying to determine her strength.
He narrowed his eyes at the sight of her perfect face, marred with streaks of blood and bruises. Beyond that, her body was not only bloody, but appeared to be worn and pale. Her usually well kept kimono was indeed torn and stained beyond recognition.
Her hands…
He found himself dwelling on them. They were the only true signs of her emotional distress, balled into fists at her sides as she fought back pain in order to look him in the eye. He lifted his gaze slightly to regard her. Silence reigned between them.
Kagura opened her mouth as if to say something, then stopped, eyeing the toad that stood at Sesshoumaru's feet. Slightly surprised at her hesitance, Sesshoumaru gestured dismissively at Jaken.
"Leave us."
The toad looked ready to protest but slunk away instead, wary of his master's irritable mood.
Kagura gave him a wry smile.
"I have not been crying." She leaned back against the tree, willing her sides to stop aching as she attempted to appear aloof.
Sesshoumaru's jaw clenched.
"You are intent on arguing with me?" He frowned at her. "You have been crying. I can smell it."
Kagura rolled her eyes at him, biting back a curse.
"I have not been crying," she repeated, and stood up straighter, experiencing some relief when she realized that the pain in her legs had subsided some. "Only the weak cry, if you smell tears it's your business, but don't try to accuse me of being weak."
He regarded her sorry state for a moment before turning around to look at the darkened forest.
"It is a surprise that you are not dead already. You made yourself easy to track."
I don't believe it…did he come here only to insult me?
Kagura's eyes flashed with rage.
"I understand," she bit out, digging her nails into her thighs. "that you think I was a fool to go to war with Azumamaro, and then to come here and pass out against a tree bleeding to death…but do not think of me as weak enough to cry over something that I cannot change!"
Who are you raging at, wind-user?
"Do not think of me as weak enough to cry," she ground out. Kagura pulled herself away from the tree so that she stood solidly on both legs. "Do not think of me as weak at all!"
"I have never thought of you as weak. I would not waste my time associating with you if you were such."
Kagura stared at his back, eyes widening at his confession.
"Then why—"
"Do not question me further," Sesshoumaru cut her off with a characteristic air of arrogance surrounding him. He walked towards her without any hesitation and forcefully reached out and took her by the arm. Kagura jerked back warily and grimaced in pain.
"What the hell do you think you're—"
"Sit down." He tugged roughly on her arm and she found herself stumbling onto her knees.
"Sesshoumaru!" Kagura gasped, ready to stand up again until his hand found its way to her shoulder and held her firmly in place.
"Quiet, woman." His brow furrowed. "I found your rasping to be irritating."
Kagura looked up at him defiantly, attempting to gain some face, even as she took his advice and leaned back against the tree.
This entire time, he was listening to the way I was breathing?
"You should be dead right now," he let go of her and stood back up, towering over her smaller form.
Kagura pulled her knees to her chest defensively.
"Because you predicted it?"
His expression was unreadable as usual, and she watched as he moved from in front of her to stand at her side instead. Despite her pain, Kagura marveled at his austere nature and the way he moved through the world as if it didn't exist. She wondered how such a youkai could come into existence.
Did he have parents…or did he simply spring from the earth itself?
As they sat in silence Kagura tried to imagine Sesshoumaru as a child, helpless and clinging to his mother like some spoiled brat. The image was irreconcilable with his current form. The concept of a small, sniveling Sesshoumaru, begging for more of his mother's milk sent the wind user laughing into the sleeve of her kimono. She felt Sesshoumaru's body react unfavorably to the action.
"Do you find something humorous about bleeding to death in the dark?"
Kagura rolled her eyes.
"I was thinking of you, asshole."
A low growl moved between them.
Anyone else would fear you right now, but instead I …
She smiled accustomed to his violent turns of temper when she insulted his pride.
"I wasn't making fun of you," Kagura closed her eyes, willing sleep to take over her. "I was imagining you as a baby."
Silence came again. Sesshoumaru had no idea how to respond to that.
What good would such a thing do?
He frowned and turned away from her.
Irritating woman…
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Kagura blinked blearily against the rising dawn. Two golden eyes fixed on her, and she saw that Sesshoumaru was standing before her with his arms tucked into his sleeves, glaring slightly.
Don't tell me he's ticked that he woke up before me…
"Come," he stated, and simply began to walk in the opposite direction.
Kagura's brow lifted at the audacity of the statement.
It isn't as if I should be surprised, he has never been considerate of anyone but himself.
"No." Kagura turned away from him in irritation.
To her delight, her body was almost entirely healed. She lifted arms and stretched them over her head, casually observing Sesshoumaru as he turned his head slightly to the side.
"You are testing my patience."
She rolled her eyes in irritation.
"The world does not revolve around you—"
He made a sound of disbelief and turned back around, obviously annoyed with her current mood.
"You had no previous objections to being watched over," He retorted, "and I did not enjoy the task."
I don't believe this, now it's my fault…
She scoffed.
"No one told you to watch over me—"
"You passed out," he growled, irritated at being accused of any sort of charity.
"My point exactly," Kagura flashed him an easy grin, meant to emphasize that he was caught in an obvious lie.
He furrowed his brow in anger.
The two stared at each other for a few minutes before Sesshoumaru abruptly turned his back, walking away. He silently marveled at how Azumamaro was able to put up with Kagura at all. Smiling to herself, Kagura followed behind.
He stopped.
"Do not follow me if you are going to continue to act childishly."
Kagura continued to walk until she came astride him.
"As if I have ever acted childishly." She retorted.
Sesshoumaru didn't bother to answer her. He had the distinct feeling that she was mocking him.
It was unsettling.
Even more bothersome was the fact that he had not torn her to pieces for doing so.
Jaken ran up behind him.
"Sesshoumaru-sama, I thought that we were going to go to—"
"Quiet, Jaken," Sesshoumaru stared straight ahead, without any intention of turning back.
His servant grumbled something unintelligible before sighing and resigning himself to his fate. Kagura walked comfortably, surprised that her body had already healed from the battle.
I have grown stronger, much stronger than I was while under Naraku.
After about half a day of walking in silence, Kagura realized that they weren't nearing the palace.
She frowned.
"Sesshoumaru—"
"Your smell is offensive." He stated, and before Kagura could open her mouth to berate him, he coolly added, "We are going to a village to retrieve clothes. You will bathe yourself of that…youkai's…stench."
Kagura's eyes widened. She knew that she should be insulted, and technically she was…it was just that she couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed at the implications of his words.
He simply could have said that the blood caked into my clothing and skin offended him, not that Azumamaro's scent played any part in his disgust…
Azumamaro…
Kagura was surprised when his name brought back familiar tears, tugging at the corners of her eyes. Her throat suddenly felt dry and an unsettling feeling began to overwhelm her.
He is only a man. He is gone from my life…
Kagura tried to ignore the fact that since joining with him, she had never imagined her life without him in it. He was the constant in her future.
What we had together was far from love.
At best, she was confident that it was a mutual understanding and respect.
If he had loved me…
Memories of his enthusiastic face and splendid smile returned to her, and the sound of her name on his lips echoed in her mind.
I wonder if you did, if it was possible for two youkai like us to do something so foolish as to fall in love.
As she walked next to the pillar of restraint, moving like a mountain through time, the idea of two youkai in love seemed impossible.
Kagura knew better than to love. Love brought nothing but pain.
Only humans are stupid enough to love. Their lives are so short; they have few things to hope for unless they are samurai or lords. Love becomes something out of the ordinary in their predictable, mundane existence. Unlike us they die off in a short span of time, so they grasp hold of whatever seems exciting or thrilling.
Can a man still love a woman and make love to someone else? Humans don't believe he can, but that is limiting isn't it?
Kagura looked ahead, focusing her eyes on the wealthy village that stood in the distance.
Men have few desires but to spread their seed, why would they want to be held down to one female because of love? Why would one female want to be held down to a man?
Thoughts which had originally come randomly within her mind began to trace a straight path before her, guiding her along, out of the wilderness.
"A whore", Azumamaro, you made me realize that is what I was to Sesshoumaru.
She cast a sideways glance at the man next to her, taking in his stony disposition.
You would think that word would make me angry, and I was angry when I thought that Sesshoumaru had looked down on me…but "whore" is only a word, it isn't who I am. A man who takes many women but claims only to love one is still known as a man. I have loved no one and known only two men physically in my life, by any man's standards, the title of "whore" would suit me…
Kagura smirked to herself.
But I'm not going to rage and kill over a flimsy title, not when I can crush a man in the palm of my hands for the joy of it. Do a man's words really matter when he's dead? Do they really matter when his life is like a spec of dust on your sleeve?
Kagura smiled even wider.
I am much more than I was under Naraku. I am strong in my own right. I may have learned some things under Sesshoumaru's instruction, but in the end, my strength and my success has been because of my own doing. Azumamaro is dead and he failed in his conquests, but because I am strong I am still alive. My survival was not the result of fortune.
Kagura stopped short, realizing that Sesshoumaru had halted some yards outside of town. He obviously had no intention of continuing any farther. He raised an eyebrow at her and looked beyond her head, indicating for her to go on.
"I will not lower myself to entering a human settlement."
Something in her bristled at that statement. She was fully aware of its implications. He was too great to enter the village, while she was certainly low enough to do so.
I cannot crush you in my palms, but your word is still nothing to me because of what I have become.
I am a woman who is feared by even the greatest men.
I am strong because I wanted to be, because I would not relent…
She shrugged at him and continued on, not bothering to give him a verbal retort.
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Kagura returned some time in mid-afternoon to find Sesshoumaru reclining against the tree with one arm lazily placed over his knee. His head was tilted up slightly and she could see that he was staring off into the distance. It was a familiar sight.
Kami only knows what he's thinking when he does that…
It actually made her a bit uncomfortable, reminding her of Naraku's meticulous planning and deadly deceptions.
Of course, Sesshoumaru has too much pride and honor to be deceptive…
"Yo," she threw down her new clothes in front of him, placing two hands firmly on her hips.
If he thinks he can go on pretending to ignore me…
He turned his eyes to her and saw that she was still wearing the tattered clothing from earlier. One eye-brow rose in question.
Kagura smiled back at him.
"Which one?" She asked.
His face fell back into its usual disinterested façade and he turned away from her again.
"Do not bother me with insipid questions."
Kagura walked around him so that she was in range of his vision and crossed her arms over chest.
"The yellow one, then?" she asked.
Sesshoumaru's brow lowered.
"The red one."
"Eh? And here I thought you weren't even paying attention…"
"Kagura." In one swift motion Sesshoumaru stood and walked past her.
His back was turned towards her and he didn't say anything more, so Kagura decided that must have been her stern reprimand and reached for the red kimono with the goldfish design on it. She stripped down and promptly began to dress. Almost as soon as she was done he began to walk away from the village. Inwardly, Kagura marveled how he managed to know she was done dressing without turning his back to check. She guessed Jaken's facial expressions must have acted as cues…
"What do you plan to do?"
"Hm?" Kagura came astride of him again, squeezing her new fan in the palm of her right hand.
Sesshoumaru made a sound of irritation and looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Daisetsu is dead and your mate is dead with him."
Kagura didn't answer him, she simply shrugged.
Why is everyone asking me what I intend to do?
Sesshoumaru stopped, turned around swiftly, and fixed her with an irritated glare.
"Kagura," he growled. "You are the new ruler of the Northern Lands. What do you plan to do?"
Kagura's eyes widened, and she stared at Sesshoumaru, speechless.
Oh, shit…
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To My Reviewers: Thank you everyone for the positive feedback, though you know, constructive criticism is appreciated as well…;)
Arteme- I'm glad you liked the last chapter, I too felt sorry for Azumamaro, his was a one-sided love…though it seems that Kagura may have some unresolved feelings on that front. Kagura went through hell last chapter, so I tried to give her back her strength in this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing the banter before her and Sesshoumaru, though I was tempted several times to go for fluff in that last exchange. Somehow Sesshoumaru choosing out her clothes has always been in the back of my mind.
Violettegal345- Thanks for the compliment and the encouragement.
SailorDonut- I'm glad you took the time to read, and I hope you enjoy the latest addition.
DQBunny- I hope my writing has turned you onto the wonderful relationship of Sesshoumaru/Kagura. They are currently my favorite pairing in Inuyasha, and I hope that Takahashi officially writes them into some type of romantic relationship. I'm having a lot of fun dropping the ambiguous hints about what happened to the other characters in Inuyasha. I searched for a way to make Inuyasha's death meaningful, even if the person recalling his life wasn't his biggest fan.
UgLyDaRkFaErIe547- Thank you for your compliments, I try very hard to keep everyone IC in the story, so hopefully my efforts have paid off. I hope everyone enjoyed the newest chapter.