Disclaimer: Since my name is not Joss Whedon, neither Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel, or any of the amazing characters associated with either show belong to me. I also don't own the story line - that is taken from gidgetgirl's 'Mr Spike Challenge' (details below). The kids at the day care centre belong to me.

~*The Mr. Spike Challenge*~
Set in Angel season five. When the head of the Wolfram and Hart daycare service for employee children (both human and non-human) dies, Angel decides to kill two birds with one stone by puttiing Spike in charge of the daycare.
Requirements:
One of the kids must be a slayer. One of the kids must do magic At least two kids must be entirely mortal. One child should remind Spike of someone he saw a hundred years ago.

Author's Note I: To avoid any future confusion, the names, ages and any special abilities of Spike's charges are listed below. Apart from Sarah and Damien, none of the children are related.

Livia, aged two, Slayer.

David, aged three, Werewolf.

Delia, aged three and a half, Seer.

Sarah, aged four, Telepath. (twin)

Damien, aged four, Telepath. (twin)

Morgan, aged four and a half, Witch.

James, aged five, Human.

Bradley, aged five, Human.

Chad, aged sixty eight, Feoral Demon.

Author's Note II: Since Livia, followed by Morgan and Chad seem to have garnered the most interest, I'll probably concentrate most on them, but all the kids will get to cause trouble.

Author's Note III: I'd like to thank those who reviewed the first chapter. This is my first attempt at an 'Angel' story. All of the other stuff I've posted has been for 'Mutant X' but I couldn't resist the lure of gidgetgirl's challenge,

Words in / / = Thoughts.

Chapter 2.

Lunchtime

When Spike had first learned that the Wolfram and Hart daycare centre would be supplied with its meals by the staff of the employee canteen, his initial reaction had been one of intense relief.

After the more than a hundred years of his vampiric existence, Spike had learned to be good at a great many things.

Sadly, cooking was not one of them.

Once he saw the meals provided, however, he wished that he had been the one in charge of the menu.

Spike may not have been the greatest expert on small children, but even he knew that there was no way that he was going to persuade nine small children to willingly eat a dish that included both broccoli and spinach.

/This is going to be more difficult than averting an apocalypse! /

As a Feoral demon, Chad's special dietary needs meant that he was supplied with a different – and wriggling – meal to the other children and Spike was thankful to see that he dug in without complaint.

Delia had taken one look at her plate before informing Spike, in no uncertain terms, that if he made her eat her vegetables, a big red monster was going to eat him.

The connection between the monster and Delia's lunch was never explained and the intense look of ferocity in the little girl's silver eyes unnerved Spike to such an extent that he let her be.

David had refused to eat his meal on the reasonable – to his own mind at least – grounds that wolfies only ate meat and once he saw that Spike wasn't buying his argument, he backed it up with the claim that he was 'lergic to yucky green stuff', taking advantage of the minute that Spike spent checking the extensive list detailing the allergies and special dietary needs of each of his charges to tip the despised vegetables into the nearest wastepaper basket.

Morgan had leaned over her plate, whispered a few words and then proceeded to eat without any complaint.

Livia had employed the time honoured 'terrible twos' technique of bursting into tears, calling Spike a 'mean bamp-eye' and threatening to 'state' him. She refused to be pacified until the blond vampire thrust a lollipop into her tiny hand.

Poor Spike was contemplating the virtues of suicide.

"Hey!" Bradley leaped to his face, an expression of outrage on his face, pointing an accusing finger at Morgan, the only child, save Chad, who was actually eating her meal. "Morgan's done something to her food!"

Even after only four hours with the children, Spike had seen enough to know that there was a bitter rivalry between Bradley and Morgan, who both vied for the position as leader of the group. As one of only two fully human children, it was clear even to someone as inexperienced with children as Spike that Bradley was overawed by the special abilities of his companions and that he clung to his status as the oldest (bar Chad) and as the 'alpha' of the group as the only things that set him apart from the common herd.

The war between the two children was bitter and often violent and Bradley in particular never missed an opportunity to tattle on his rival, for real or imagined offences.

Spike had been inclined to ignore the accusation at first until a glance at Morgan, still placidly eating her greens, aroused his own suspicions.

/No kid eats spinach without a fight! /

He gingerly picked up a small piece of broccoli from the little girl's plate and bit into it.

Even with his limited vampiric taste buds, he knew that something was not as it should be.

"CHOCOLATE!"

Morgan just smiled sweetly at him, finishing off her meal as though nothing was amiss.

Spike was torn between knowing that he should scold her and wanting to applaud her ingenuity.

"Do Livvie lunch!" the two year old Slayer clapped her hands in admiration, looking up at Morgan adoringly. "Livvie wan' choccy too!"

"I want jelly!" Sarah requested, speaking up for the first time since the children had sat down to lunch. There was a moment of silence as she and her twin exchanged a brief, wordless conversation. "Damien would like strawberry jelly, please."

"Can I have sherbet?" James asked excitedly, ignoring the glare of reproof Bradley was shooting in his direction.

"Okay." Morgan was clearly delighted with their attention and admiration "Incan . . ."

Spike clapped a hand over the four year old's mouth before she could finish her incantation. "No spells!" He made a desperate effort to sound dignified and in control of the situation. "Everyone, eat your lunch – as it is!" He added warningly.

The nine most intimidating adversaries Spike had ever face in his very long life exchanged a series of meaningful looks.

He knew exactly what was coming.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

* * *

Two hours later

Afternoon nap.

After the exhaustive effort of getting his small charges calmed down and cleaned up and tucked in for their afternoon nap, Spike would have been more than happy to curl up in one of the unoccupied beds for a well deserved hour of rest.

Unfortunately for him, the dining room looked like a large food bomb had been detonated there and Spike spent the rest period, which he had been looking forward to since he entered the confines of the daycare centre as being an hour of downtime for him, scrubbing the muralled walls in an effort to rid them of the liberal coating of food globules adorning them.

He cursed the existence of his soul.

/If I could, I'd string the lot of them up from the nearest lamppost – Peaches too! I'd chuck the little platelets out of the highest window I could find! /

An absent smile crossed the blond vampire's face as his brain churned out scenario after scenario, each more gruesome than the last, as to how he could dispose of nine small irritating children.

A knock on the door heralded the arrival of Fred Burkle, resident science boffin, who peeped through the doorway, a commiserating smile on her pixyish face.

"I heard that you got stuck here." She said sympathetically.

"Bet Peaches is having himself a real laugh fest!" Spike commented bitterly.

"No, he . . ." Fred stopped dead in her tracks, unable to come up with anything to say in Angel's defence. "He does think that it's very funny." She finished lamely. "I heard that the people down in Accounting have started pool as to how long you can go without strangling one of the kids."

"Glad to know that everyone's taking so much pleasure out of my misery!" Spike's voice was gruff.

Fred patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Are they really that bad?"

"You have no idea!" Spike lowered his voice. "They're napping now, I don't want to wake them." He gestured to the now clean walls of the dining area. "Can you believe this – the Big Bad spending his time scrubbing spinach and mashed potato from the ceiling!"

"You know, you could have just got the cleaners to do it for you." Fred pointed out heedlessly.

Spike glowered at her.

"And to think that I'll have to do this all over again tomorrow!" He lamented. "What kind of moron tries to feed kids spinach?"

"Just ask the canteen people to send up hamburgers or pizza or something."

If Spike could, he would have blushed.

That simple solution had never occurred to him.

"Mr Spike?" A small voice interrupted Spike before he could kick himself. A very sleepy Livia toddled into the room, her beloved blue blanked clutched in her arms. "Livvie hafta go potty."

"I'll take her, shall I?" Fred offered, seeing the look of horrified disbelief on Spike's face. Without waiting for an answer, she scooped up the deceptively innocent looking toddler and bore her off to the bathroom.

"Is it up time yet, Mr Spike?" Delia, woken by the other child's movements, trotted into the room in Livia's wake.

Spike looked up at the clock and sighed.

/Twenty past three. /

"Close enough." He said aloud, slightly pissed off by the loss of the precious ten minutes of quiet.

"There now." Fred emerged form the bathroom and set Livia on her feet. She looked up at Spike. "I can stay for a while, if you need a hand." She offered.

Spike nodded enthusiastically, no longer caring if he looked desperate.

Delia went over to Fred and tugged on her lab coat.

"Tell Mr Silly Billy Brown Hair that the blue gooey go boom boom."

Spike suppressed a laugh at the little girl's less than flattering description of Knox.

Fred's eyes became very wide.

"The experiment!" She looked horrified. "I'm sorry, Spike, I have to go!"

"No, wait . . .!" Before Spike could protest, his last hope for aid had left.

He was on his own now.

/Damn you, Delia! /

TBC.

Author's Note: I'd like to thank B Teenage Slayer for her hide and seek suggestion. I'll probably use it in the next chapter.

Is there anything else anyone would like to see? Please review and let me know.