Hello again, maybe some of you noticed that I took some inspiration – namely the two bounties showing up now – from a very special movie. The idea came sudden, and I guess this is about to be a Cowboy Bebop/Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas crossover!! I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas and I do not own two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline..... (for insiders)
"This" is in speech, 'this' is in thought and this is some seamless doing during a sentence.
Chapter 3: Monkey Rock
------- At a lake, somewhere in the woods, Ganymede -------
In the tent, Jet had a strange dream. He saw himself diving in the sea, when suddenly a giant squid sneaked up on him, telling him not to burn his suite. When Jet wanted to ask, what it meant, the squid howled in pain and he noticed, that two fat pigs were trying to eat it... Jet jumped forward to help the squid, but the pigs had already eaten it... now they were drinking the water they swam in until suddenly everything collapsed...
Jet woke up, noticing that the tent he slept in had collapsed... he was about to blame his bad tent skills for it, when he noticed that two fat pigs were trying to eat his tent... After shaking his head, the two pigs turned into two very strange figures, crouching around his tent, biting it here and there. One of them found Jet's food supplies:
"Oi, look at this. Somethin' to eat!"
The other guy emitted a strange breathing noise and crawled over to the other one.
"Hmm... let's eat it."
The last traces of sleep had not yet left Jet and since furthermore he was covered by the remains of his tent, he was not fully conscious of what was going on. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wouldn't leave his food supplies to two complete strangers...
"What the hell do you think you are doing?"
"HOLY SHIT!", one of them jumped in surprise, "The squid is talking!"
"Damn, this is serious now!", said the other one, taking something from the pocket of his suit. The other guy hid behind him, whining and mumbling something that Jet could not hear properly.
Jet reached for his gun and cursed when he noticed that he had left it in the Hammerhead. The two seemed dangerous... Jet did not know what to do now.
"What does the squid want, Gonzo?"
"As your attorney I advise you to stay behind me, I think it wants to eat our brains."
"Holy mother of god! more strange mumbling"
Obviously these guys were mistaking Jet under the cover with some kind of giant monster squid... this could prove useful! He had an idea:
"Go away", he said in the squidiest voice he could imagine. (Not that he'd known how a squid's voice sounded, but the men he was dealing with weren't even capable of distinguishing between a giant monster squid and a tent, so how should THEY know how a squid's voice sounded??), "You have infringed the ...erm... territory of ... M... Maxumus, the giant monster squid!"
He listened for a while. The only thing he could hear was the whining of the first one and the heavy breathing of the other... apart from that, the scenery remained completely silent... nobody moved.
Jet decided to threaten them with a spooky move and since the spookiest thing he could imagine that very moment was lifting his arms and saying something intellectual such as "Boooooooooooo", he did so.
Unluckily, raising his arms caused the cover that hid him until then to tumble over and leave Jet exposed to the eyes of everyone.
The two men closed up a bit, examining every inch of Jet's body."This is no giant monster squid!", the one, who had called himself 'attorney' before, concluded, "This... is a giant monster cockroach!"
Inhuman, high pitched noises came from the throat of his companion; it was a mixture of a madman giggling and screams of impulsive panic. He jumped onto the back of his attorney and said, with a shaking voice:
"I hate cockroaches, kill it!"
It didn't take Jet a lot of time to figure out, that his situation was no good at all. He prepared himself for a fight.
Everything went fast now, the knifeman jumped forward, Jet evaded, turned round, and just as he was about to give the guy a punch, he slipped on the covers of the tent, fell over and hit the tree with his head.
Being awoken in the middle of the night, then mistaken for a giant monster squid, for a cockroach and finally knocked out by a tree was simply too much for one night: Jet went unconscious.
"Is it dead?"
------- The Bebop -------
"No, you can not come with us, this is no business for kids!", Spike shouted, shaking his leg which Ed had gotten hold of.
"But Ed doesn't want to stay aloooone on the ship. Please Please Pleaase!"
Faye went past Spike, smiling evilly:
"If you don't mind, I'll go ahead. Have fun playing here!"Her evil smile faded, when suddenly Ed attached herself to Faye's leg.
"We're taking you along..."
"Yay yay yay yayyyy!", Ed jumped around the whole room and was still wearing her broad smile when Spike grabbed her in the neck and pulled her into his pod.
"I hate kids."
Before he could close the door, Ein jumped into the pod as well. Spike knew that there was nothing he could do, so he let it be.
"I hate pooches."
"So, now you got your kindergarten aboard, are you ready to lift off?", said Faye through the com.
"I hate tomboys."
"I heard that!"
Spike ducked because he got caught, got kicked by Ed, sighed and answered:
"Ready when you are."
But Faye had already left the bay. Spike cursed and jetted after her. In front of them the huge, blue planet of Ganymede.
'Maybe we'll meet Jet!'
------- The Garden Of Eden -------
[Author's Note: If you want an advise from me, considering a suitable soundtrack for this scene: "Led Zeppelin – Whole Lotta Love" suits perfectly ]
A monkey sat on a rock... he pulled faces and ate bananas.
Jet looked at the monkey. He'd never seen a live one before.
'What the...'
The monkey's head inflated to the size of the rock he was sitting on, his eyes getting bigger and bigger... suddenly it started to speak:
"Don't believe what you see. This is merely a visualization of your imagination...", the monkey said in a theatrical voice, then continued, quite scared, "don't think of a pink, monkey-eating elephant now, please."
Jet was immediately thinking of a pink, monkey-eating elephant. A second later a pink, monkey-eating elephant came across and ate the monkey. His last words were these:
"I should have known..."
The elephant stood there and chewed on him, looking rather bored.
Jet was happy that he wasn't forced to deal with talking monkeys anymore and took a look around. The floor was looking like a chessboard, with the tiny difference that it was not black and white, but purple and yellow. Looking closer at it, Jet found out, that it was actually grass that had been painted this way.
Then there was the rock that had served as seat for the monkey just a minute before, a burning bush, and a spiral stairway, leading up into the sky.
Jet had no idea how this could work, but as a matter of fact, the elephant walked up this stairway. Jet scratched his head...
'What if his grandma is walking downstairs this very moment?'
A second later the pink, monkey-eating elephant fell down the stairs, because another pink, monkey-eating elephant had pushed him down. Hitting the floor, the elephant broke into a thousand pieces, because he was made of porcelain. This again released the monkey from his stomach, who hastily jumped over to Jet, his eyes wide open and gesticulating heavily.
"You have got to realize that this is all is an illusion! You have to get---"
Jet had thought of the monkey being squished by a huge rock falling from the sky.
Jet felt relieved. He considered the monkey very suspicious and was afraid of him.
'Thank god it's not King-Kong!'
The rock was lifted high into the air, and the monkey was now as tall as a skyscraper... a major threat now.
'Oh crap.'
A voice from far far away said something:
"Did you give the LSD to the giant monster frog???"
'FROG?'
"Godzilla versus King-Kong" was nothing compared to the mind-blowing fight Jet was about to observe...
-------------------- end of chapter 3 --------------------