Disclaimer: Since my name is not Joss Whedon, neither 'Buffy: The Vampire
Slayer', 'Angel', or any of the amazing characters associated with either
show belong to me. I also don't own the story line - that is taken from
gidgetgirl's 'Mr Spike Challenge' (details below). The kids at the day care
centre belong to me.
~*The Mr. Spike Challenge*~
Set in Angel season five. When the head of the Wolfram and Hart daycare service for employee children (both human and non-human) dies, Angel decides to kill two birds with one stone by putting Spike in charge of the daycare.
Requirements:
One of the kids must be a slayer. One of the kids must do magic At least two kids must be entirely mortal. One child should remind Spike of someone he saw a hundred years ago.
Author's Note: I'd like to thank Just Another Angel for her musical suggestion, which I have used in this chapter.
Author's Note II: To gidgetgirl - It's more a matter of pride for the kids than genuine liking of Spike. Apart from Delia, none of the kids have any particular feelings about Angel one way or the other but they all find Spike entertaining.
Author's Note III: I know nothing about reulations regarding childcare in California, so apologies for any mistakes.
Author's Note IV: Apologies for the lack of formatting. I'm posting this chapter in Word Pad format and that doesn't allow me to save documents in html. format.
Words in / / = Thoughts.
Words in / / = Italics.
*
Chapter 6.
Under the regime of the late Mrs Murray, Music and Movement Monday had been the event most enjoyed by the children and most loathed by the employees unlucky enough to have an office close to the daycare centre.
The partially deaf Mrs Murray had been spared the worst of the appalling cacophony of noise that her tone deaf charges so enthusiastically produced and as a result, she had laboured under the delusion that expressing themselves through music was a necessary and beneficial part of the children's routine.
With Livia making enough noise to drown out a demon onslaught, the other eight children were able to slip across the hall to the supply closet and help themselves to their favourite instruments before marching towards the elevator for Phase Two of their plan.
* * *
The same time, Angel's office.
After signing the last of his mountain of documents, Angel was completely wiped out.
"Harmony!" His ditzy blonde secretary came rrunning when he bellowed. "I'm going upstairs to rest for a while, keep track of any calls that come in and, under no circumstances whatsoever are you to let anyone wake me up before lunchtime. Understood?"
"Got it, bossy." A vampire herself, Harmony could sympathise with her employer's nocturnal nature.
"Good." Angel plopped his papers in the 'Out' tray and rose from his desk, plodding wearily towards the elevator. "See you in a few hours."
"Sleep tight."
* * *
The same time, the daycare centre.
"Livvie, love, calm down!" Spike pleaded, pulling lumps of brightly coloured wax out of his hair. "Please! You can have candy later, just take your nap now."
Had Spike not been so distraught, He would have seen the flash of panic in the tiny Slayer's eyes at his suggestion.
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
Spike fought the urge to cover his ears. The kid had a powerful set of lungs!
"NO NAP FOR LIVVIE! CANDY FOR LIVVIE! NOW! NOW! NOW!"
The two year old cast herself to the floor again, howling at the top of her lungs and kicking her chubby legs, catching poor Spike in the gut when he came too close.
/Bugger! / Spike thought, massaging his injured stomach as he looked down at the toddler who was red-faced from the exertion of screaming for so long. /I don't know how to deal with this s**t! / He cast a lok to the door of the dormitory. /At least the rest of the little wankers are behaving themselves. /
* * *
Five minutes later, the hallway outside Angel's bedroom.
Thanks to a well placed glamour charm from Morgan, the octet remained invisible to the eyes of the adult Wolfram and Hart employees they had encountered on their way to Angel's quarters and, apart from Chad accidentally treading on the toes of one of the law clerks, who had muttered something about needing a vacation before moving on, their trip had been without incident.
Delia led the way to Angel's room and her companions, who during their time in the daycare centre had learned not to question her extraordinary knowledge, followed, laden down with half the contents of the instrument shelf.
"This is Mr Angel's room." Delia announced, comming to a sudden stop. "Ssh." She put a finger to her lips. "He's sleeping."
"Not for long." Nodding towards the others, Chad charged into the room. "ATCHOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AGGGGGGGH!" Angel, finding himself on the recieving end of a faceful of Feoral mucus, was powerless to move as the paralysis spread through his body, leaving him only able to move his mouth a little. "What the . . .?"
"Quiet!" Morgan snapped, pointing an accusing finger at the unhappy vampire. "You don't get to talk."
"Yeah!" Bradley, flanked by James, stood behind the small sorceress. Both of the boys were holding a set of wooden sticks poised threateningly over their brightly painted drums. "We get to make the noise now!"
"You were mean to our Mr Spike!" Chad scolded indignantly.
"And you thought bad things about us." Sarah added knowledgeably. Damien backed her up with an enthusiastic nod.
"So now you have to pay." Morgan finished cheerfully.
/I don't believe this! / Had Angel's vocal cords been working, he would have groaned. /They've known Spike for less than two days! /
"Mr Spike is part of the daycare centre." Sarah told him severely, picking up on his train of thought.
"Yeah!" David stuck out his chin obstinately. "He's *ours*!"
"That means that nobody can pick on him except us." Morgan declared, glaring at Angel.
Delia scowled at Angel, an icy expression in her silver eyes. "I don't like you." She announced. "And the pretty black kitty doesn't like you either!"
"Come on, guys." Bradley took charge. "Let's do what we came here to do."
Sarah and Damien both produced tin whistles, Delia had a large brass bell set, David had a triangle andf Chad frightened Angel half to death (figuratively speaking) by dragging an enormous set of cymbals into the room.
Morgan, using a purloined drumstick as a baton, stood in front of the other children ready to conduct her little orchestra.
"So," She turned to Angel with a sweet smile. "Any requests?"
/Stake me! Stake me now! /
* * *
Ten minutes later, the daycare centre.
Spike was ready to impale himself on the largest, sharpest stake he could find.
Livia was curled up on the couch, chewing happily on the bag of gummi bears that Spike had finally manged to pacify her with, looking so content that he could scarcely believe that she was the same child who had created such havoc.
The little girl finished off the last of her sweets, licked her fingers to make sure she got all the sugar that was available and toddled over to Spike, who half flinched at her approach.
"T'ank you Mr Spike." She climbed into his lap and hugged him tightly, planting a sticky kiss on his cheek.
Spike returned the hug, thanking every god and goddess ever worshipped that the two year old was so easily bribed.
"Livvie sleepy now."
"Alright, pet," Spike scooped her up. "Let's get you tucked in for the rest of naptime, huh?"
Tired and happy, Livia forgot her mission as a decoy completely.
Spike carried the toddler into the room and almost dropped her when he looked inside.
Two long rows of beds were lined up before him and not a child in sight.
"Bugger!"
* * *
Ten minutes later, Angel's bedroom.
After a rousing rendition of 'When The Saints Go Marching In', Angel was deeply regretting his insistence that Security didn't install a panic button next to his bed.
Not that he could have used it - Chad's paralysis had left him as rigid as a statue - but he would have liked to have at least a *possibility* of escape.
"Now," Morgan beamed as the last note of the chorus faded away. "We should have time for one more song." She turned to her friends. "Any ideas?"
Damien whispered something in her ear and Morgan's smile widened.
"Excellent idea." She said approvingly.
"It's his favourite." Sarah told her solemnly.
"Did you guys read the tune?"
"Uh huh." Damien wrinkled his nose in distase. "My grandma plays that song."
The kids all went into a huddle to share a quick lesson in the tune.
Angel had a sinking feeling that he knew what was coming, even before they started playing.
/Great! / He thought, as the first tenative notes sounded. /I'll never be able to enjoy Barry Manilow again! /
* * *
Same time, Hallway
/S**t! S**t! S**t! S**t! / Spike ran through the hallways with Livia in his arms. A candy bar had induced the two year old to spill her companions plans and she was quite enjoying the excitement. /They're probably torturing Angel right now! I've go to . . . /
"Hang on!" Spike stopped dead in his tracks. "What do I care if the munchkins want to play 'Torture the Poofter'?"
"Dunno." Livia assumed he was speaking to her. "Play now?"
"Good idea, little love." Spike shifted the toddler Slayer into a more comfortable position. "What do you say I rustle us up some ice cream?"
"Yea!" Livia clapped her hands happily.
Grinning, Spike turned around and carried the two year old back to the daycare centre.
/This oughta teach Captain Forehead that he can't stick me with a job like this and get away with it! /
* * *
Two hours later, Angel's office.
It had taken the best part of an hour for the effects of Chad's paralysing mucus to wear off and Angel, understandably angry about his experiences, had had to be restrained from throttling the children, who were more than satisfied with the results of their handiwork.
". . . I'm going to kill him!" Angel ranted, while Gunn tried to smother his laughter. "I've been to Hell and let me tell you, those little brats are worse! And Spike didn't even *try* to stop them! He'd have let themm go on all day if they wanted to! And to think," ANgel gave an injured sniff. "That he had the nerve to ask me to get him an assistant!"
"You should."
Angel glared at his friend. "Et tu Charles?"
"State childcare regulations require a minimum of one carer for every five children." Gunn tapped his bald head. "Legal upgrade."
"I hate you sometimes." Angel growled. "Where am I supposed to find . . ."
A timid knock on the door heralded the arrival of Harmony, who sauntered up to his desk with a mug of warm pig's blood.
"Here's your blood, bossy. . .Oops!"
Angel glared down at his jeans, now soaked in congealing red liquid.
"Harmony?" He made a determined effort to keep the fury out of his voice. "How would you like a promotion?"
The less than intellectually blessed vampire beamed.
* * *
The next morning, the daycare centre.
"AAAAAAAAAAGH! BLONDIE BEAR! HELP ME!"
Spike watched in grim amusement as his former lover tore around the playroom, chased by a shrieking Livia brandishing a crayon.
"Livvie state you! You bad!"
Harmony was running for her life and close to tears.
The other children were just watching, applauding the little Slayer's efforts.
/Great! / Spike thought dryly, surveying the scene. /Just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse! /
*
TBC.
Next Chapter: Harmony gets to grips with her new job. More Morgan magic and maybe more about Delia's origins.
~*The Mr. Spike Challenge*~
Set in Angel season five. When the head of the Wolfram and Hart daycare service for employee children (both human and non-human) dies, Angel decides to kill two birds with one stone by putting Spike in charge of the daycare.
Requirements:
One of the kids must be a slayer. One of the kids must do magic At least two kids must be entirely mortal. One child should remind Spike of someone he saw a hundred years ago.
Author's Note: I'd like to thank Just Another Angel for her musical suggestion, which I have used in this chapter.
Author's Note II: To gidgetgirl - It's more a matter of pride for the kids than genuine liking of Spike. Apart from Delia, none of the kids have any particular feelings about Angel one way or the other but they all find Spike entertaining.
Author's Note III: I know nothing about reulations regarding childcare in California, so apologies for any mistakes.
Author's Note IV: Apologies for the lack of formatting. I'm posting this chapter in Word Pad format and that doesn't allow me to save documents in html. format.
Words in / / = Thoughts.
Words in / / = Italics.
*
Chapter 6.
Under the regime of the late Mrs Murray, Music and Movement Monday had been the event most enjoyed by the children and most loathed by the employees unlucky enough to have an office close to the daycare centre.
The partially deaf Mrs Murray had been spared the worst of the appalling cacophony of noise that her tone deaf charges so enthusiastically produced and as a result, she had laboured under the delusion that expressing themselves through music was a necessary and beneficial part of the children's routine.
With Livia making enough noise to drown out a demon onslaught, the other eight children were able to slip across the hall to the supply closet and help themselves to their favourite instruments before marching towards the elevator for Phase Two of their plan.
* * *
The same time, Angel's office.
After signing the last of his mountain of documents, Angel was completely wiped out.
"Harmony!" His ditzy blonde secretary came rrunning when he bellowed. "I'm going upstairs to rest for a while, keep track of any calls that come in and, under no circumstances whatsoever are you to let anyone wake me up before lunchtime. Understood?"
"Got it, bossy." A vampire herself, Harmony could sympathise with her employer's nocturnal nature.
"Good." Angel plopped his papers in the 'Out' tray and rose from his desk, plodding wearily towards the elevator. "See you in a few hours."
"Sleep tight."
* * *
The same time, the daycare centre.
"Livvie, love, calm down!" Spike pleaded, pulling lumps of brightly coloured wax out of his hair. "Please! You can have candy later, just take your nap now."
Had Spike not been so distraught, He would have seen the flash of panic in the tiny Slayer's eyes at his suggestion.
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
Spike fought the urge to cover his ears. The kid had a powerful set of lungs!
"NO NAP FOR LIVVIE! CANDY FOR LIVVIE! NOW! NOW! NOW!"
The two year old cast herself to the floor again, howling at the top of her lungs and kicking her chubby legs, catching poor Spike in the gut when he came too close.
/Bugger! / Spike thought, massaging his injured stomach as he looked down at the toddler who was red-faced from the exertion of screaming for so long. /I don't know how to deal with this s**t! / He cast a lok to the door of the dormitory. /At least the rest of the little wankers are behaving themselves. /
* * *
Five minutes later, the hallway outside Angel's bedroom.
Thanks to a well placed glamour charm from Morgan, the octet remained invisible to the eyes of the adult Wolfram and Hart employees they had encountered on their way to Angel's quarters and, apart from Chad accidentally treading on the toes of one of the law clerks, who had muttered something about needing a vacation before moving on, their trip had been without incident.
Delia led the way to Angel's room and her companions, who during their time in the daycare centre had learned not to question her extraordinary knowledge, followed, laden down with half the contents of the instrument shelf.
"This is Mr Angel's room." Delia announced, comming to a sudden stop. "Ssh." She put a finger to her lips. "He's sleeping."
"Not for long." Nodding towards the others, Chad charged into the room. "ATCHOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AGGGGGGGH!" Angel, finding himself on the recieving end of a faceful of Feoral mucus, was powerless to move as the paralysis spread through his body, leaving him only able to move his mouth a little. "What the . . .?"
"Quiet!" Morgan snapped, pointing an accusing finger at the unhappy vampire. "You don't get to talk."
"Yeah!" Bradley, flanked by James, stood behind the small sorceress. Both of the boys were holding a set of wooden sticks poised threateningly over their brightly painted drums. "We get to make the noise now!"
"You were mean to our Mr Spike!" Chad scolded indignantly.
"And you thought bad things about us." Sarah added knowledgeably. Damien backed her up with an enthusiastic nod.
"So now you have to pay." Morgan finished cheerfully.
/I don't believe this! / Had Angel's vocal cords been working, he would have groaned. /They've known Spike for less than two days! /
"Mr Spike is part of the daycare centre." Sarah told him severely, picking up on his train of thought.
"Yeah!" David stuck out his chin obstinately. "He's *ours*!"
"That means that nobody can pick on him except us." Morgan declared, glaring at Angel.
Delia scowled at Angel, an icy expression in her silver eyes. "I don't like you." She announced. "And the pretty black kitty doesn't like you either!"
"Come on, guys." Bradley took charge. "Let's do what we came here to do."
Sarah and Damien both produced tin whistles, Delia had a large brass bell set, David had a triangle andf Chad frightened Angel half to death (figuratively speaking) by dragging an enormous set of cymbals into the room.
Morgan, using a purloined drumstick as a baton, stood in front of the other children ready to conduct her little orchestra.
"So," She turned to Angel with a sweet smile. "Any requests?"
/Stake me! Stake me now! /
* * *
Ten minutes later, the daycare centre.
Spike was ready to impale himself on the largest, sharpest stake he could find.
Livia was curled up on the couch, chewing happily on the bag of gummi bears that Spike had finally manged to pacify her with, looking so content that he could scarcely believe that she was the same child who had created such havoc.
The little girl finished off the last of her sweets, licked her fingers to make sure she got all the sugar that was available and toddled over to Spike, who half flinched at her approach.
"T'ank you Mr Spike." She climbed into his lap and hugged him tightly, planting a sticky kiss on his cheek.
Spike returned the hug, thanking every god and goddess ever worshipped that the two year old was so easily bribed.
"Livvie sleepy now."
"Alright, pet," Spike scooped her up. "Let's get you tucked in for the rest of naptime, huh?"
Tired and happy, Livia forgot her mission as a decoy completely.
Spike carried the toddler into the room and almost dropped her when he looked inside.
Two long rows of beds were lined up before him and not a child in sight.
"Bugger!"
* * *
Ten minutes later, Angel's bedroom.
After a rousing rendition of 'When The Saints Go Marching In', Angel was deeply regretting his insistence that Security didn't install a panic button next to his bed.
Not that he could have used it - Chad's paralysis had left him as rigid as a statue - but he would have liked to have at least a *possibility* of escape.
"Now," Morgan beamed as the last note of the chorus faded away. "We should have time for one more song." She turned to her friends. "Any ideas?"
Damien whispered something in her ear and Morgan's smile widened.
"Excellent idea." She said approvingly.
"It's his favourite." Sarah told her solemnly.
"Did you guys read the tune?"
"Uh huh." Damien wrinkled his nose in distase. "My grandma plays that song."
The kids all went into a huddle to share a quick lesson in the tune.
Angel had a sinking feeling that he knew what was coming, even before they started playing.
/Great! / He thought, as the first tenative notes sounded. /I'll never be able to enjoy Barry Manilow again! /
* * *
Same time, Hallway
/S**t! S**t! S**t! S**t! / Spike ran through the hallways with Livia in his arms. A candy bar had induced the two year old to spill her companions plans and she was quite enjoying the excitement. /They're probably torturing Angel right now! I've go to . . . /
"Hang on!" Spike stopped dead in his tracks. "What do I care if the munchkins want to play 'Torture the Poofter'?"
"Dunno." Livia assumed he was speaking to her. "Play now?"
"Good idea, little love." Spike shifted the toddler Slayer into a more comfortable position. "What do you say I rustle us up some ice cream?"
"Yea!" Livia clapped her hands happily.
Grinning, Spike turned around and carried the two year old back to the daycare centre.
/This oughta teach Captain Forehead that he can't stick me with a job like this and get away with it! /
* * *
Two hours later, Angel's office.
It had taken the best part of an hour for the effects of Chad's paralysing mucus to wear off and Angel, understandably angry about his experiences, had had to be restrained from throttling the children, who were more than satisfied with the results of their handiwork.
". . . I'm going to kill him!" Angel ranted, while Gunn tried to smother his laughter. "I've been to Hell and let me tell you, those little brats are worse! And Spike didn't even *try* to stop them! He'd have let themm go on all day if they wanted to! And to think," ANgel gave an injured sniff. "That he had the nerve to ask me to get him an assistant!"
"You should."
Angel glared at his friend. "Et tu Charles?"
"State childcare regulations require a minimum of one carer for every five children." Gunn tapped his bald head. "Legal upgrade."
"I hate you sometimes." Angel growled. "Where am I supposed to find . . ."
A timid knock on the door heralded the arrival of Harmony, who sauntered up to his desk with a mug of warm pig's blood.
"Here's your blood, bossy. . .Oops!"
Angel glared down at his jeans, now soaked in congealing red liquid.
"Harmony?" He made a determined effort to keep the fury out of his voice. "How would you like a promotion?"
The less than intellectually blessed vampire beamed.
* * *
The next morning, the daycare centre.
"AAAAAAAAAAGH! BLONDIE BEAR! HELP ME!"
Spike watched in grim amusement as his former lover tore around the playroom, chased by a shrieking Livia brandishing a crayon.
"Livvie state you! You bad!"
Harmony was running for her life and close to tears.
The other children were just watching, applauding the little Slayer's efforts.
/Great! / Spike thought dryly, surveying the scene. /Just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse! /
*
TBC.
Next Chapter: Harmony gets to grips with her new job. More Morgan magic and maybe more about Delia's origins.