The Secret Diary of Gimli, son of Gloin (continued)
Day thirty nine (again)
Running.
Day forty
Running.
Day forty one
Running. Up a hill. My favorite place to run, dwarves were not made for sprinting, they were made for sitting, or laying.
Day forty two
I wonder how steep Mount Doom is, can't be as steep as this. Aragorn found an ivy leaf, he thinks he's on the right trail, I think he's off his rocker.
Day forty three
Running.
Day forty four
Running. Oh actually, I beg your pardon, we jogged for a while.
Day forty five
Ran into riders of Rohan (do you like the pun?) They said they slaughtered everyone, and pointed spears in our faces, every so friendly lot. Yippeee!
Day forty five (again)
We don't think Merry and Pippin are dead, Aragorn the Amazing did his magic thing and reckons they've gone into Fangorn Forest. Now we've got to go in there.
Day forty five (again)
It's a shame Boromir isn't here, I've got no one to take the piss out of now. And no one who is prepared to get manfully close so I feel protected.
Day forty seven
Bumped into Gandalf, see? I said he turns up again. So now him and Aragorn have gone off because, apparently, although I don't see it, they're the ones who actually know what we're doing. Which means I'm left with Legolas complaining about a tangle in his hair and a spot on his bum. What does he want me to do about it? Actually, don't answer that.
Day forty eight
Running, again. Well, if you could call it running, we're really on horseback, so they're doing the running for us, which is good. But the chase has evolved, now we know where we're running to, goodie for us!
Day fifty
Heading for Rohan, and Edoras. Would have been nice if somebody told me that. And I do not particularly like riding the horse between Legolas' legs, it is not always comfortable.
Day fifty one
Ah, the Golden Hall of Médúseld. And King Theoden (I almost wrote King Therod then.) Gandalf, in his infamous wisdom (I was being sarcastic there) rightfully returned Theoden to the throne, ridding him of Saruman, which I thought was a jolly nice thing to do. I've also found another very attractive lady, Éowyn.
Day fifty two
Theoden is arguing with Aragorn, I will stay out of it, Aragorn has a horrible temper on him.
Day fifty seven
I do love the Rohan people, and I do love people that walk. So we're on our way to Helm's Deep, Gandalf has buggered off somewhere, but no doubt he has a reason for it, only I wasn't too pleased with the last reason that was an appointment at a hair salon for dying and straightening, but Legolas does seem very attached to his new white hair.
Day fifty seven (again)
Éowyn is quite lovely.
Day fifty eight
Wargs! Legolas is in my bad books, he killed my warg! Oh yeah, and Aragorn fell off the cliff, what did he go and do a stupid thing like that for? But, now I haven't got to listen to the 'I am so wonderful' speech again. Or hear him talk about one day being King, or his fighting skill or the Isildur's heir thing, or the Dunedain thing, so it wasn't a bad day really.
Day fifty nine
Arrived at Helm's Deep and everyone's a little bit excited. Éowyn doesn't like me now Aragorn's fallen into the river. Theoden's getting all the men ready for battle, but they've cornered themselves, but if we're going down, then at least we'll have fun doing it.
Day sixty
Aragorn's back! He's seen Saruman's army and has new determination, even though he slept for seven hours as soon as he came through the door. But I can't complain, I slept for five.
Day sixty one
The Elves have arrived and Aragorn is back to his old bossy way. Then, battle starts, starts? Commences? Hmmm. It's just a shame that I can't see a thing, stupid Elf pick this spot.
Day sixty one (again)
Can't write, too many Uruk-hai. Aaaaaaaaargh!
Day sixty one (again again)
The keep has been broken and Aragorn and me are going to fight! But, I think Aragorn will have to toss me. They couldn't have built the keep a few feet smaller.
Day sixty one (again)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhh!!!!!
Day sixty one (again)
We're not doing too bad.
Day sixty two
Look to the east on the second day. Which way's east? Oh, that way. It's Gandalf! How the hell are they going to get down that steep face on horses? I've killed forty Uruk-hai, and am quite proud of myself.
Day sixty two (again)
Battle is over, we won, and I'm tired but I have to have my energy to tell Legolas I killed more Uruk-hai than him, forty three and right now I'm sitting on a dead Uruk, writing my diary, and I must say he's quite comfortable. Retreating Uruk-hai run into the forest? Forest? Who put that there? We didn't come through that!
Day sixty three
Right , Aragorn! Where to now?