Haley didn't know what to do first. Go to Nathan, punch Dan in the jaw, run and hide, turn back time....so many options yet she was frozen in place. Deer in the headlights was an understatement.

"Haley?" Nathan prompted.

"Your dad was just telling me how he is a different man than the one I knew." She answered, no taking her eyes off Dan.

"I am Haley. I know I made mistakes in the past, but I've changed."

"Prove it." She challenged. "Leave right now so I can talk to Nathan."

"Haley what is going on here?" Nathan was clearly lost.

"I need to talk to you Nathan, and I don't want an audience."

"It's fine Nate. Just come by my place when you and Haley are done. It really was nice to see you again Haley." Dan offered. Haley was too upset to figure out if Dan was up to his old tricks.

"Haley, what the hell is going on here?" Nathan was getting impatient.

"You need to sit. You may even need a drink." Haley attempted to joke.

"Did he say something to you? Because..." Nathan started.

"No Nathan," Haley interrupted him. "Please. Just sit."

Nathan finally complied and took a seat on the sofa. Haley sat down beside him. She took a second to gather her thoughts. She honestly didn't know where to start.

"Haley, you are starting to freak me out. What is going on?" Nathan repeated.

"There is something I have to tell you...something I should have told you a long time ago."

"If this is about what happened in the past, I've told you I don't want to talk about that." Nathan said.

"I know you don't, but we have to."

"We don't Haley. Just leave it be."

"But I can't....I can't because I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"That Dan will spin his lies and then one day you'll come to me and what really happened five years ago will be colored by his version of things. I need you to hear it from me first." Haley explained.

"What does my dad have to do with our past?"

"I need you to sit there and listen to everything I have to say with an open mind and a closed mouth. Can you do that? For me?" she started.

"Do I have a choice?" He was not going to make it easy on her. She gave him a look. "OK, all right, I'm listening." He got comfortable.

"Do remember the day you got the news about your scholarship to Duke? You came home from your awful job at the mall and were so excited. Everything was falling into place for you... for us. I knew you were worried about college, how we were going to pay for it...I knew you were scared even if you couldn't say so. And that recruiter was like an angel from heaven. He offered you the full ride you needed to get away from Dan once and for all. I remember thinking at the time how lucky we were...how things just seemed to be falling into place. I even believed that maybe all the shit we had gone through our first year together had been worth it because our karma had finally kicked in. I think I floated on cloud nine for almost two weeks before reality set in again.

It was right before school started. You were at practice, and I was getting ready to go to work when Dan showed up at the apartment. Your mom had told him about the scholarship. I think she did it because she hoped he'd be proud of you, I know she never thought he would use it to his advantage." Haley took a breath.

"Go on." Nathan said. He still hadn't moved an inch.

"So I'm about to leave and there he is, standing in the living room. He said we had to talk. I had nothing to say to him and I really didn't want to hear anything that he had to say either, and every time I think about it, I wish I had just pushed past him and left. But instead, I let him open his big mouth. Nate," Haley took a deep breath, "he said if I didn't leave that he'd tell the recruiters about the drugs you took. And that once they found out about it, there would be no more scholarship, no more Duke. At first I thought he was bluffing....hell Duke was as much his dream as it was yours. I didn't want to believe he would sabotage your career to get rid of me. I couldn't have been that big a risk to him. So I told him to get out and I went to work."

"I don't understand." Nathan said.

"Well, after living with you for a year, the "Fuck you Dan" mentality had rubbed off. I wasn't about to let him control our future. My gut told me that we'd figure something out. But that whole week all you could talk about was how proud you were about getting the scholarship, and how great Duke was going to be for us. It killed me. Suddenly your dreams were in my hands. So I went to Dan to barter. I really thought that if I explained to him how much it meant to you, he wouldn't take it away. I mean, he'd done some shitty things, but he was still your dad. So I asked him how he could take away your shot. In his mind, it wasn't like that. He would be more than happy to pay for your tuition if the scholarship fell through. He left the choice with me. You could go on your own, or he would step in. You were so stubborn back then....what am I talking about, you still are that stubborn. I knew you'd rather skip college than let Dan run your life again. So for a week I did nothing but think about our options. I ran the numbers, I weighed the pros and cons, and it always came back to the same thing. I could not destroy your chance for the life you always wanted out of stubborness. Yes I loved you and I believed we were good together, but on the other side of the scale was the rest of your life. They didn't balance. And I know you are going to say that if you were meant to make it in the NBA that it would have happened with or without college, but what if that wasn't true? Sometimes where we end up in life is decided in one moment. Each moment offers a path to take and each path leads to a different future. Nate, you were seventeen and you knew what path you wanted to be on...so I made the choice. Given the options I had, I made the choice and I left." Haley said.

Nathan didn't respond. He seemed to be taking it all in.

"I went to Boston and tried to get on with my life. I missed you so much that I actually thought I would die. It took me almost a year to stop crying. But then I started following your accomplishments at Duke. And you were doing so well and I was proud of you. And in some small way I was proud of me too...I helped make that happen for you. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but it was worth it. And hey, you went first round in the draft, and as I see it, you are only a few months away from the starting line up of the Boston Celtics. I am happy that I can look back and freely say, it was the right thing to do and I did it. So that's it. That's my story." Haley finished.

Nathan was still quiet. Haley was just happy she made it through the story without crying.

"Do you know why I never wanted to talk about this?" Nathan finally spoke.

"No, why?"

"Because I believed there was nothing you could say that would make it any easier or any better, because you leaving was the single most painful experience of my whole life. I barely lived through it once, I didn't want to attempt a second try."

"I'm so sorry Nathan. I never meant to hurt you."

"How did you think I would feel?" Nathan shot back. "Did you actually believe that leaving me a note that you weren't coming back was the least painful way you could have handled things?"

"I knew it would hurt, but I couldn't face you." Haley explained.

"Over the past five years I have thought of a million different reasons why you might have left. Another guy, you didn't love me, you had a terminal disease..." Nathan started. "You know when I said before that you leaving was the most painful thing ever? Well congratulations Hales, you've topped yourself."

Now Haley was the one to be confused. "I don't understand. Dan forced my hand. How is what I said more painful than me leaving?" she asked quietly.

"Don't you see? You are the same as he is."

"What? How can you say that?"

"My dad has done some horrible things. He is insensitive at best, a bully at worst, but in his mind, he always justifies his behavior by saying it's for my benefit. He always says he's just looking out for me and my future. He's older and he knows better. I can't count how many times I called him on his motives and behavior and his answer is always the same - I'm doing this for you Nate. Someday you'll understand. I don't want you to have the regrets that I have." Nathan imitated Dan. "You did the same thing. You made a decision, one that should have been discussed with me considering it was about me, and you justify it by saying that it was the right thing to do. Haley, the reason I fell in love with you was because you were the first person who let me make my own choices and mistakes. You seemed to understand, from the very beginning, that I would eventually realize what was the right and wrong way to do things. You called me on it when I was being a jerk, but you never stopped me from making my own mistakes. You were always just there, for me to apologize to, or to listen, and always to be understanding. And what blows me away, is that you decided it was the right thing to do. You decided it was right because you knew better. You didn't trust me enough to let me in on the decision. For the first time in our relationship you took away my choice for quote, my own good. Explain to me how that is any different than my dad?" Nathan explained.

Haley looked him in the eye and the only thing she could see was disappointment. In all the years of preparing herself for this confrontation, she had never expected to see that. It ripped her heart out. The tears welled up in her eyes, and rolled down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Nathan. I am so sorry." She sobbed.

"I know, but I still think you should go." He replied.

"What?" Haley was surprised.

"I want you to go."

"Why? Can't you forgive me?" she asked.

"I don't know. You were always the one person in my life who I could trust. You were the one who supported me no matter what, who let me live my own life without expectation or judgement. I need some time to figure out what I think about everything you've said. And I can't think with you here." He said and left the room. Haley sat on the couch and sobbed. When she finally got a hold of her emotions, she went to the bedroom and packed up her stuff. If he needed her to leave then she would do that for him. In her heart she knew there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him. She put her bags by the front door and went to find him. She had to know one thing before she left. She found him on the couch in the piano room. That brought fresh tears to her eyes, but they did not fall.

"I just want to ask one thing, and then I'll go...I promise."

"What's that?" he looked up at her.

"Were you happy at Duke?" she asked.

He shook his head, seemingly in disbelief. "You don't get it do you?" Nathan replied. Haley looked at him, willing the tears not to fall. "The decision I was talking about wasn't Duke...it was us. You thought my future was at Duke, but I knew my future was with you. Which, for the record, is why I told the recruiter about the drugs myself. Before they even offered me the scholarship. See Haley, you were the one who showed me that the only real mistake you can ever make is if you aren't honest. You also taught me that the important things in life are earned. I told the recruiter about it because if I was going to get a scholarship, the only way it would mean anything was if I earned it. Honestly. You may want to take pride in how my life has turned out, but I know that I did it on my own. I didn't hide a thing. The ironic part is..," he paused. "I got that from you."

Haley couldn't hold the tears back anymore. Nathan walked past her and out the back door down to the beach. She watched him walk away until he was a speck on the horizon. She gathered up her bags and the pieces of her heart, and left. She cried the entire flight home, for what she had done, for what she had lost, for so many things. By the time the flight landed, she had somewhat composed herself. The saying goes, you reap what you sow but she had no idea how true those words could be. She took full responsibility for her actions knowing that the onus was squarely on her shoulders for her current state. She had no one to blame but herself.

Haley was back in her own apartment by two o'clock and surprised to find Kate at home.

"What are you doing here? When I talked to you yesterday didn't you say something about getting ready for a big dinner or something?" Kate asked as Haley dropped her bags and joined her on the sofa.

"Aren't you supposed to be at your parents?" Haley answered.

"House full of people, came here for a little quiet time." Kate said. "Have you been crying?" she asked as she got a closer look at Haley.

"Yep."

"Wanna tell me about it?"

"I think Nathan and I broke up...again." Haley replied.

"How do you go from hosting Christmas dinner to broken up in less than twenty-four hours?" Kate was confused.

"I finally told him the whole story. He asked me to leave...I left."

"What?"

"He said I was just as bad as Dan. I made decisions for him because I thought I knew what was best for him. He's right. I am just like Dan." Haley admitted. The tears started again.

"Are you kidding me?" Kate was angry.

"Nathan's right Kate. I brought this on myself. I may have had the best of intentions, but in the end I made a decision for him, when I should have been making it with him. I deserve this. And really, who was I kidding? Thinking that Nathan and I could get a second chance? I must have been insane."

"Dan threatened you...you did the best you could." Kate defended her.

"Ya, but here's the kicker. Nathan had already told the scout about the drugs. And if I had talked to him like I should have in the first place, I would have known that. But instead, I got on my high horse and designated myself as Nathan's guardian angel. Turns out, he didn't need one." Haley tried to laugh through her tears.

"You know what? I've had enough. For the last four years I have watched you beat yourself up about this. You really believe that you are person who deserves bad things but no one is all good or all bad. You need to accept that you deserve good things too Haley." Kate stood up, went into Haley's room and came back carrying the box. She dropped it in Haley's lap. "I have watched you cry over this box more times than I can count and, even though I harassed you about it, you wore your wedding ring for years after your divorce. I never understood why you did those things until now. You didn't really leave all those years ago for Nathan...you may have told yourself that...I know you told me that. But that's not the real reason. You left because you were seventeen and scared and you didn't know any better. Dan is still to blame. He had a lot of experience in manipulating people to get what he wanted and he knew exactly how to push your buttons to get his way. At the time you thought the button was Nathan, but it was really you. He knew you were insecure, as most seventeen-year-old kids are, and he took advantage of it. You need to stop this five-year guilt trip you've sent yourself on and get mad. At this point I don't even care who you get mad at...me...Dan... Nathan...what ever works. But stop beating yourself up for it. You are not that insecure girl anymore Haley. You made it through Harvard medical school two years early on guts alone. You pestered the team doctor of the Bruins for three months before he would let you in the building because you wanted the job and you knew you could do it. And I've heard about your exploits in the Celtics locker room from Nathan and Luke. I am proud to call that woman my best friend because she is a force to be reckoned with. I just cannot understand why you have lost her when you need her the most?" She put her arm around Haley's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "You need to find your fight again. This box is your past. You can't change it. You were young and stupid and you didn't know any better. You don't deserve to be unhappy. You punished yourself as much as you hurt Nathan...maybe more. You made a mistake, you admit that, and mistakes can be forgiven. You have grown up a lot over the past five years. You are a stronger, braver person than the girl that walked out on Nathan back then. But if you walk away this time, without so much as a whimper, without the fight I know you have in you...well then... I don't know."

"He said he needs time to think...and that he couldn't think with me there." Haley said through her tears.

"So what? Tell him too bad. Tell him that you aren't going anywhere until he forgives you because you can't live without him. That the last five years you have been waiting to start your life again because the only life you really want is with him. Tell him the first thing that comes to your mind when you see him...it doesn't matter. You ran away once, don't make the same mistake twice. You'll regret it forever." Kate said.

She handed Haley the phone. "Make the call. Get on a plane, rent a car, whatever... just go."

Haley wiped the tears from her cheeks and dialed the number. Luck was on her side and she was booked on a flight out of Logan at four. It didn't leave her any time to shower or compose herself but that was probably for the best – no chance for her to change her mind or lose her nerve. There would be two hours on the plane for her to think about what she wanted to say. She had an errand she needed to do before going to the airport, so she literally hung up the phone, picked up her bag and left. It was time to take back her life.

A/N so, it's official, I have the best readers/reviewers in the world! I know this is the big climax you've been waiting for, and I am eager to get your reaction. Did it live up to your expectations or was it too predictable? We are almost to the end, and I just want to say again, thank you for all the positive feedback...it makes me smile and keeps me inspired. as always, your thought/suggestions are gratefully accepted. Let me know what you think... - Carys