Note: *dances around to some J-Pop song and then pats Roy's ass*
=^_^= now, on w/ story!
*begin flashback*
Jigglypuff groggily squinted at the figure next to her, and the events of the night before came flooding back into her memory. Gasping as she remembered what she'd done, Jigg rushed into the bathroom and puked.
"That's strange," she muttered. "I didn't drink!" She glanced back at Kirby, who still lay, sleeping, in the bed. "Oh, god I feel like crap." A second later, Crazy Hand busted into the room.
"Kirby! Get up! You'll miss my special announcement!" Kirby grunted and rolled over. Holding her breath, Jigg begged he wouldn't call her name and make her presence known in his dorm. Of course he did.
"Jigg? Baby where'd you go?" Kirby wondered as Crazy Hand wiggled his fingers even more.
"'Jigg?' Was she invited?" Jigg wanted to slap Kirby.
"Obviously! I mean jeez, I ain't naked in my bed for nothing!" Kirby rolled his eyes.
Crazy Hand floated off and Jigg stormed out of the bathroom. "Bastard! Why'd you tell him that?!" Jigg slammed him across the face and slipped her red flower on, then stomped off.
"Great," Kirby mumbled, also taking his leave.
*end flashback*
"So that's how it happened, Mister Doctor Mario, sir," Jigg explained through heavy tears. "I've ruined my life forever! And I dragged Kirby down w/ me! I'm sorry Baby! Forgive me!"
"No! It's my fault! Don't blame yourself!" Kirby cried, cradling Jigg in his arms.
Dr. Mario sighed and turned to Nurse Peach. "Get me MewTwo and that Pokemon professor in here ASAP," he ordered her.
"Yes, Doctor." Peach's face paled as she stuck her head out at the Smashers who sat outside the nurse's station, unknowing of what was happening beyond the door. "MewTwo, please come in here. Zel, Sweets, could you get me that Pokemon professor?"
The psychic Pokemon drifted inside. "What is it?" He asked, briefly glancing at the pink balloon couple.
Dr. Mario stared at him gravely. "I need you to explain Pokemon anatomy to me to the farthest extent of your knowledge. It is VERY important."
"Uh.... ok... *o.O*"
"Ugh, maybe you'd like to tell all of the Smashers, to clear up some questions?"
"Uh, sure, I guess..." MewTwo and Dr. Mario exited the nurse's station and MewTwo briefly explained a Pokemon's body, w/ the help of a diagram f a Pikachu.
"...You see, all of Pikachu's energy comes from the pit of his stomach. Essentially, that electricity is just digestive acid gone bad..." About ten minutes later, Zel dragged in Professor Oak.
"Okay, Peach. I've got your 'Pokemon Professor' here," Zel announced, and Peach yanked him inside the nurse's office as Dr. Mario continued to listen to MewTwo's lecture.
"My great stars! Was that MewTwo out there?!?!?!" Oak wanted to know.
Peach rolled her eyes. "In the flesh. Now, Jigglypuff here has a predicament..."
Hours passed, and Oak was literally going crazy by what he was seeing. "In all my years! Never before have I seen a-"
Peach clapped her gloved hand over his mouth. "Shut up! She doesn't want anyone else to know! Respect her feelings!"
MewTwo finished his biology lesson. "Any questions?"
*everyone's hand shoots up**MewTwo picks Samus* "Yeah, um, can Pokemon be, you know, gay?"
MewTwo stared for a split second before breaking into maniacal laughter. "Of course! If you can live, you can be gay! Haven't you heard of the homosexual flamingos?"
*I pop out of nowhere* "And, in the lake I live beside, there are guy ducks that hang around together looking SO stupid w/o little girlfriends, b/c as soon as the girl ducks have their little babies, they're SO done w/ men so they hang out on the other side of the lake from the guy ducks in their little lesbian cliques. I have to admit, those are the smartest ducks I've seen in a while!" I say. *the guys get that and don't find it funny, and the girls snort w/ laughter* "Anyhow, bye bye!" *I dash off*
*MewTwo scowls and picks Roy* "Can you say anything besides just your name in public?"
"Well, no. Shiggy wanted us to be really wEiRd, so he limited our vocabulary to our name and any variations of it. Except for me and maybe two others for some unknown reason..." *MewTwo ponders what that reason could be then continues answering questions*
Hours later, in the main lounge room, the Smashers all gathered around the pink balloon couple, attempting to find out what was going down w/ them.
"FUCK OFF!!!!" they yelled finally, forcing the intruders away from them in their silent crying across the room from everyone.
Impa, the current elf paparazzo, snapped pictures and collaborated w/ her Pokemon team of Pikachu and Pichu to make up a dramatic story. "Okay, so we already decided that the picture I took of Roy carrying Samus down the stairs was michinaranukoi, right?"
"Say what what now?" Pichu wondered.
"An illicit love affair!! Hahahahaha!! They'll never suspect a thing, but rather just be amazingly surprised when I drop the bombshell that I knew all along! Hahahahahaha!" Impa's eyes flashed revenge.
Across the room, the smashers all huddled in a circle, singing the love song for no reason. "Lalalalalalala loooooooooooooooovvvvvee, is so fine, yes, I loooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeee to looooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvveeeeeeeee you baby, come on now! Let's celebrate and dance so free, we gonna celebrate and dance so free, wooooooooooo yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh!!!" they sang, the paparazzo elf clicking her camera madly.
*they all stop holding hands long enough to grab a dancing partner and shake their asses to a J-pop song*
*Zel picks Roy for no reason except to be unusually flirtatious* "So, what do you think of this song?"
"'Watashi wa no Happy Birthday'? That woman can't even speak English at all; did you hear the way she said hysteric? 'Hee-ster-eek.'" Roy told Zel as he listened to the song and Megumi Hayashibara's annoying Japanese accent, especially when compared to Hikki, who has like NO ACCENT AT ALL!!!! In fact, she can probably speak English better than I can!!
"I couldn't even tell that she was speaking any English at all... her voice is so unnaturally high..." Roy knew that comment was aimed directly at him and his annoying, girlish, too-deep-when-he-talks-which-annoys-the-HELL-out-of-me type of voice he had. GAH Roy's voice pisses me off. If it wasn't so girlish and then suddenly five times as deep when he slashes his sword around and says his cocky little Japanese saying, I might actually like him more than I do, if that's possible. *curses Shiggy for hiring Jun Fukuyama to play Roy's voice, and curses Jun Fukuyama for having such a FUCKING WEIRD voice and ruining the Bishounen known as Roy*
"Yeah. Unnaturally high." Roy evil eyed her, evidently not knowing that she wanted to like him back.
Zelda bit her lip and cussed as she thought of a way to push his interests back into her. Secretly she'd liked him the second their eyes met, but just wanted to sway the others into thinking that she had no interest in him whatsoever. The approach proved futile, as Sheik, whom Zel shared a room w/, had caught sight of her glancing at him across the breakfast table, lunch table, dinner table, lounge room, etc, and accused her of finding at least a rodent-like interest in him. Caving, Zel had told her that she thought he was the most adorable person in the entire universe and she was infatuated w/ him.
Zel's shoulders slumped. "Sorry," she apologized, going to sit down. The bishie stood there for a second, amazed at what had just happened, and then trotted over to plop his cute ass down next to her.
"It's okay, albeit a little common..." Roy chuckled to her, desperately trying to make Zel feel better.
The Elvin princess grinned him. "Thanks... I didn't mean anything, really." She spread her arms out, indicating to Roy that a hug was coming, which he accepted more than graciously.
All the way across the lounge room, Samus and Adult Malon shared a beer. "Oh, I am so drunk. Could you walk me back to my dorm?" Malon asked Samus.
"Uh, sure...*o.O*" *Samus and Adult Malon go off to Malon's dorm*
Malon teetered around falsely to make her space hunter friend feel guilty and take her inside, which was all part of her plan. "Uh, I should probably help you in..." Samus suggested.
"Oh, if you insist!" Malon agreed, holding out her wrist in a fakely drunken manner. Once inside, Malon kicked the door closed, putting the two teens in utter darkness. The first part of Malon's plan finished, the redhead pushed Samus down on a bed and kissed her repeatedly and anywhere she could.
"HEY!" Samus hollered, slapping the offender off and exiting abruptly. Wiping the evil taste from her mouth, the bounty hunter cussed at the woman she'd previously thought could be considered a friend.
Malon, her lesbian plot foiled, sobbed into a pillow. "I...thought...she'd...let...me....waaaaaaaahhh!!!"
Meanwhile, back at the lounge room, MGAW and Mario, my newest (and first!) yaoi couple, made out, Mario complaining constantly of the paper cuts MGAW put all over his face. Peach, Mario's former girlfriend, watched them, her lips pursed and eyes emotionless. Standing beside her, Jean wore the exact same expression on her tanned face.
"He is a liar. A filthy fucking liar," Peach informed the Russian woman next to her.
Jean nodded in silent agreement, wishing she could burn up the paper figure of MGAW along w/ his fat Italian boyfriend. The two betrayed young women agreed wordlessly that guys sucked. Except for Roy, of course.
The next day, for the first time in the four days they'd stayed there, every single one of the Smashers grabbed a seat at the breakfast table, TOGETHER. Yup, first time. *no one knows what to say*
Captain Falcon began the conversation. "So, what do you guys think of swimming? I noticed a lake after you all drowned me in it, so maybe we could go swimming?" *everyone looks at the idiot, bruised from being punched at least five hundred times yesterday, and found that, for a refreshing change, he was right* Pichu immediately nodded and tore out of the door. *the rest of the smashers go to get their swimsuits on*
Once outside, everyone realized that no one had seen anyone even partially nekkid, except for maybe five people. *the Smashers each get really embarrassed in their bikinis and shorts*
Captain Falcon proudly strutted out, wearing the tiniest bit of material he could find. Zelda and Samus each felt the strong urge to drown him again, but resisted and instead stared at the hottie known as Roy.
The auburn haired teen stood there, his hands deep in his pockets, eyes on the ground, and the hickies all over him still as red as ever.
"Damn, your skinny!" a voice said from behind him. Marth towered behind the hottie, blocking the sun from Roy's back. "Is it from all of those dancing lessons you took w/ Lin?"
Roy resented that. Only when he was high would he dance w/ her. "You are, too! And Lili-Chan said that type of dancing didn't make you skinny!"
"Anata ko-rudo, you called?" someone feminine wondered loudly from behind Roy, her voice heavy w/ a Japanese accent.
Roy turned and sprinted at the blue-haired girl to whom the voice belonged. "Lili-Chan!" The two teens shared a hug and a light peck on the lips. Zelda, even though she knew this "Lili-Chan" was only a friend, became insanely jealous. "You speak English now?"
"Barely. It hard, I know just little," Lin-Chan answered, picking each word w/ meticulous but confused precision. "I not know where you or Marusu go, get worried, but not anymore, right?"
"Kesshite," Roy answered, grinning widely at her. "Except, don't-"
The blue-haired girl slid past him and darted to Marth. "Marusu! Akachan watashi wa anata misudo!!" Li-Chan yelled at Marth, landing a fat kiss on his smooth, emotionless mouth and hugging him in a more sexual way than she'd hugged Roy. *everyone who can speak Japanese tries not to roll on the ground and laugh at Marth's reddening face and what Lili had said to him ("Mars! Baby I missed you!"), but they all fail miserably, especially Roy*
"So, you did?" Roy asked from the ground.
Lin knelt next to the Bishounen and leaned very close to him. "Yeah. We do like five times," she whispered in his ear, giggling along w/ him. "Marude bishounen!"
Roy rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Sure. I personally don't think so."
"Anata kyu-to imamotte, datte dake miuchi," Lin-Chan snickered jokingly to him, making him chortle even more.
"Dake miuchi," Roy repeated, knowing she was only fooling about what she'd said: "You still cuter, but just friends."
"Ugh I wish I could speak Japanese!" Zelda said resentfully. "Then I'd know what they were talking about!"
"Why do you care? Obviously, this 'Li-Chan' is only Roy's friend and nothing more, and Marth's sex slave," Peach pointed out, glaring at MGAW in his non-2d swim shorts.
"SO?!?!? I didn't even think Roy had any friends that were female! And to think what that tiny peck of a kiss meant..." Zelda feared the worst and hoped she hadn't lost her emaciated bishie.
"Listen, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you CARED!" Peach stomped on MGAW's foot as he passed, making him yell in pain.
"I just hope she's more interested in Marth. He seriously needs a girlfriend."
All of the smashers stopped w/ their petty problems and dove into the water. Ten minutes later, DK hopped out of the lake on one foot.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" he roared, pointing at a huge shard of glass that somehow became lodged in his foot. "GLASS CUT, GLASS HURT!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
"I can fix that," Jean told him, getting out of the water in her not-even-a-bathing-suit-but-it-will-do shorts and white tank top. Leaning over his foot, she told him to close his eyes and count to three, then she would pull it out.
"Okay, one.....two..." Jean ripped out the shard but DK continued to count. "Three... do it! Do it!!"
Holding up the broken beer bottle, Jean smirked, only a little, but then masked that tinge of emotion w/ her ever-constant tightened lips and cloudy eyes. DK saw her grin that little bit and thanked her graciously, noting how beautiful she could be if she would only smile more. If only he knew...
Five more minutes later, Crazy Hand commanded them to get out.
"You're behind on your fights! We must hasten!" The group of sopping children, women, men, two large hands, and a bunch of creatures walked/trotted/drifted/stomped up the hill, through a lot of goose shit, past some shops, and finally into the arena of stages.
"Okay, the first team battle is Zelda and Roy against Marth and Young Link! The battle begins in fifteen minutes!" Master Hand declared, letting everyone get prepared.
Roy and Marth jogged back to their dorm. Jumping inside, Roy grabbed his clothes that he'd just thrown about.
"This rocks! I can't believe they put me w/ Zelda!" Roy grinned widely as he perfectly positioned his adorable yellow and blue headband underneath his wet, nearly brown hair.
"This SUCKS! They had to put me w/ that stupid little brat! Ughh, I HATE THIS!!" Marth put his sword in its sheath and traipsed out, Roy neglecting to even bring his sword's casing.
"I'm gonna kick your ass!" Roy said overconfidently, punching Marth as hard as he could in the arm. Smirking, Marth pummeled the redhead back, knocking the younger teen down.
"Don't be so sure..." Marth laughed, helping his redheaded comrade back to his feet.
Zelda danced around her dorm w/ Sheik. "Oh, this so kicks ASS! I've got Roy on my team! YAY!!"
"Yes, your team will most likely win, seeing as how the opposing team probably won't even be able to cooperate," Sheik told her, making Zel let go of her bandaged hands.
Slipping on her Triforce earrings, Zel skipped out, Sheik following closely.
Along Marth and Roy's journey back to the stage arena, the two Bishounen met up w/ Y'Link. Roy immediately grabbed his opponents in separate hands, keeping them from tearing each other apart. After that, Roy carried Y'Link on his tiny but strong shoulders and kept the tip of his sword to Marth's throat, daring him to make a move to hurt Y'Link, who Roy threatened by pretending to trip every time the kid tried something.
Finally, the redhead and his two feuding challengers pushed open the door that led to the Hyrule Temple stage. His fellow smashers giggled at the funny sight, and Roy let Y'Link down and took his sword off of Marth's neck.
"Hey! Roy and Marusu!" Li-Chan hollered to them. They stepped over everyone's feet to get down to the blue haired teen. Upon their arrival, she pulled Marth into her arms and kissed him, practically choking him w/ her tongue. In addition to learning the English language, Li also learned how to kiss. "Break leg out there!" Marth nodded and rushed off to the stage, praying that no one had seen her all but making out w/ him. "I be cheering for you, Marusu!" Roy snickered at his friends, both w/ azure hair. "Oh, wait. You fight, too, be jealous! Arg, I not know who I cheer for! Ah, maybe I just cheer for adorable little Elf kid. What his name?"
"Young Link. I think you should cheer for Zelda..." Roy's eyes glazed over, but he broke out his trance when Lin-Chan spoke again.
"You like Zelda! I know, it is look in your eyes... Tell me just this: who Zelda?"
Roy shrugged. "Young Link's acquaintance somehow, and the princess of a place called Hyrule."
"Ah. Well, I wish you best luck out there! I cheer Zelda for you." Lili-Chan hugged Roy goodbye and dug out the popcorn as she settled in, watching the jugglers taking over the stage.
As the jugglers dispersed, Zel and Roy stood next to each other, conversing quietly about their fighting strategy, Roy attempting to curve the discussion into the route of "Could I take you out for coffee sometime?" and Zelda wishing she could just tear all of his clothes off and take him right then and there.
Fearing her over-hornyness would affect the battle, Zel cold-shouldered Roy and his subtle hints about taking her out to coffee. "We should, uh, not... talk, or, uh, we might miss something that one of the hands might say, or uh, something," Zel stuttered to him, keeping her reddened, horny face turned away from him, fearing she would do something to him if she turned back around.
"Yeah..." Roy strolled to his place over by the offering table, his hopes injured but not crushed. He cussed at himself for being so STUPID around girls, even more (if that was possible...) stupid around the fine female sex than his father, Eliwood. Of course, Eliwood had to have gotten lucky w/ someone, he had NO idea who the hell his mother might be, at least once for his hot self to be standing where he currently was. Thinking about the very subject of sex made Roy's head hurt, especially when it came to his not-very-woman-savvy dad. Roy was too young to care about it, yet too old to avoid it, b/c it lurks around EVERY corner.
Sighing, Zelda rolled her shoulders and set the feelings and thoughts about Roy on the back burner and the fight at hand on the main one.
The announcer, a somewhat cute blond-haired guy in loose surfer clothes, declared, "Ok, in, like, five minutes the, like, fight will like start! Ok, like, everyone like turn off all your like cell phones, aight?" The entire crowd wasn't just the other smashers, but all of the trophy subjects, friends of the smashers, many, many Pokemon, clones, and whoever the hell else I felt like putting in there so shut up, which meant it was HUGE.
Marth and Y'Link argued relentlessly throughout that five minute period, which drove Zel and Roy mad. Finally the fight started, and Marth and Y'Link were too busy bitching at each other to notice so Zel and Roy just threw them off the cliff and they were too busy bitching at each other in the air whilst falling to notice they were falling so they died. Battle over.
"Ok, like, the winner is the redheaded kid's team. Ok, like, the next battle is in like fifteen more minutes so like go get yourself some more popcorn, only like $4.50 over at the like concession stand," the announcer told the gigantic crowd, using the word "like" an agitating amount of times.
*fifteen minutes later, Marth, MewTwo, the French, orange-shirted clone of Fox, and regular non-clone, non-French Fox all stood, waiting in Mushroom Kingdom II, Dr. Mario's 'Fever' theme playing in the background, time endless (yup. Endless.)*
The battle started, and around ten Pokeballs fell out of the sky. The French Fox got the most, and normal Fox kicked his ass the most simply b/c he was a French hog.
"HEY!!! THAT'S MY POKEBALL!! YOU DUMB $!@#!!" Fox screamed as Frenchie picked up the twentieth Pokeball in a row. Yup. All that came out seemed to be Pokeballs.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! No, I had it virst!" Frenchie hurled the Pokeball at the ground and out popped... who else but Mew!!
*the entire battle seems to freeze, Fox in midair, his foot aimed at Frenchie's ass, Marth falling ass over teakettle into the abyss, Frenchie, unknowing of the foot about do be driven up his asshole, grabbing yet another Pokeball, and MewTwo stunned at the arrival of the woman who set him straight*
"Mew!! Uh, hi, uh.. long time no see, eh?" MewTwo stammered, staring in utter disbelief at Mew.
"Yeah, I guess I didn't know you were here... or I would've come and visited you... oh baby you know I would've!" Mew drifted down to him. "Maybe.. you could stop by my place later, huh?"
"I would, but I don't you're staying," MewTwo answered truthfully, resisting the strong urge to make out w/ the beautiful Pokemon.
"You know that little house just outside of the stage arena? That's where all of the Pokemon that come out of Pokeballs stay. I'm in room 15B, it's on the second floor. I'll make sure I send Chansey off for us, hmm?" Mew tickled MewTwo's chin, then floated off, sending him a mental message: "I'll be waiting..."
"What-" Marth started to ask.
"Shut up!" MewTwo tossed Marth up w/ his mental powers, acting as though Mew had never appeared.
Later that night, MewTwo knocked on the door leading to Crazy Hand's office.
"What?" the hand snapped, floating out w/ glasses on his knuckles.
"Um, do you know where I could find a flower shop?" MewTwo wondered, trying to sound casual.
Crazy Hand grumbled something and pointed out a window to a row of shops. "Don't bother me again!" W/ that, the hand slammed the door.
MewTwo glided over to where he'd pointed and bought the best-smelling twelve roses in the shop and then went to Mew's place. At the door, Chansey flounced off, giving him a dirty look. Ignoring the pink egg-throwing bitch Pokemon, MewTwo tapped at the door.
"Just a second! I've got to take my birth control pill... Ok MewTwo, come on in..." Mew told him. He burst in the door to a tumbledown shack: pizza boxes, old socks, dirty plates, and used condoms were scattered everywhere.
"What the hell happened here?" MewTwo wondered.
"It's Chansey! I HATE having her for a roommate, she always has a different Pokemon in here; last night it was Venusaur! And on top of that she won't clean up her half of the room! I'm only in her slummy part b/c I needed to find my birth control pills that she stole and ate half of them b/c she thought they were-" Mew ranted.
MewTwo kissed her, making her stop her tirade. "Now, I want to see your part.." he said hornyly (is that a word? if it's not, oh well. and the spellchecker says it's not...). The smaller psychic Pokemon grabbed his hand/paw and led him through a door and into a neatly organized room w/ a red carpet, crimson walls, and even furniture and a ceiling that color.
"Do you like it? I painted it myself... w/o my mental powers.." Mew asked him, rubbing his back w/ her tail.
"It's beautiful," MewTwo complimented her as he lightly kissed her neck.
"Great," Mew giggled, mentally pushing him down on the bed.
Ness flipped through the channels on the TV. "Wheel of Fortune, CNN, Tennis, Winsor-Pilates... hey! I've got to try that, my thighs are SO huge!!" Ness called the number on the bottom of the screen and ordered himself the make-your-body-really-fricken-stretchy video. Then, he stayed and waited for MewTwo to come back. "Hmmmm, he must've gotten lost on the way to Mew's house. I wonder if he already found her and she's just torturing him to make him stay... no, she seems too nice to do that..." Ness held a conversation w/ himself, and then there was a knock on the door. Jumping up from his easy chair, he yelled "Come in!"
The door smashed open and there stood Roy, looking very hot in nothing but his boxers. "Can I stay here tonight? Marth is...uh, busy," Roy told the psychic boy.
"Sure!! I have marshmallows; we can roast them w/ our fire powers! YAY!" Ness pulled the Bishounen inside and grabbed the package of marshmallows, gram crackers, and five Hershey candy bars out from under MewTwo's bed. "Let's make S'Mores!"
"Ok, I think I brought my sword..." *five minutes later, Roy and Ness sit around Roy's flaming sword, using MewTwo's toothbrush and a beam sword as sticks to toast the balls of fluff*
"This is fun! I'm happy Marth was busy so I'd have someone to help me eat MewTwo's super secret stash of stuff he thought I never knew about but I did cuz I'm smart!" Ness ate the tenth S'More in a row and fell off of the laundry basket he'd been sitting on. "Ohhh man... major stomach ache...."
Roy finished off his own tenth S'More and dropped next to the black-haired preteen. They both rolled around in pain, Roy winking in his super-cute way and Ness's eyes squinted like Chinese eyes. Another knock at the door and Ness asked who it was.
"Y'Link... have you seen Nana around? I've got to talk to her.."
"Yeah. She went w/ her brother and that blue fox to some place they called the milk bar. It's by the Pokemon house," Ness answered, pushing away the marshmallow package to create more room to roll helplessly.
Gleefully Y'Link skipped to the milk bar, hoping he would find Nana there. Sure enough, Nana brooded at a table in a dark corner as Popo and Krystal chatted quietly at the bar. "Hey, Popo, what's going down?" Y'Link clapped the unsuspecting ice climber on the back.
"Nothing. Listen, if you know anything, you'll leave Nana alone. She's being a bitch," Popo informed the blond elf quietly.
"Ok, I guess. Why?"
"I don't know. Girls can be like that sometimes. They're SO sentimental." Popo mumbled something along the lines of "girls are dumb," but w/ harsher, lewder, more boyish words. *above his head, two fairies, one blue and the other yellow, happen to overhear his words about girls not being the supreme beings on this earth and float down to chew him out*
"Oh yeah? Well, guys aren't so great, either!" Navy, the blue one, yelled. "I had to point out everything that was SO obvious to Link! 'Look! There's bars on that door!' Jeez!"
"No! You just said that so you could run your fat piehole and annoy the HELL out of me!" Y'Link objected.
"Wait.... If it weren't for girls, no one would ever be here. EVER!! So, therefore, you worthless men should feel more than honored to even be in the presence of such divine beings!" Tatl informed them.
Popo and Y'Link's eyes widened as Krystal and Nana grinned their agreement. "You fairies present a good argument, but GUYS are better!!" Popo told them.
"What makes them better? I'll tell you what: NOTHING!!! They are lewd, crude, cheating, stealing, rotten, arrogant assholes who have already had their chance to rule the world!! Now it's the girls' turn!!!" Tatl screamed, enraged.
"Tatl, sweets, don't get so emotional! The only reason we came here was to eavesdrop! Let those males think they are better, even though they only use one side of their brain to think, can get away w/ stuff MUCH easier, don't have to suffer through periods but make uneducated jokes about them anyways, and they aren't expected to squeeze out kids and then smile about society as we are forced to wear kids' sizes in order to be accepted in the eyes of shallow men!!" Navy screeched, evil eyeing Popo and Y'Link.
"Gee, I....never thought of it like that..." Y'Link admitted, eyes averted. Popo rethought all of her words and realized she was right.
"You're right. Girls are better..." Popo confessed, watching a bug crawling across the floor and wishing he could join it.
In the corner, Nana smiled. "Thanks, Navy, Tatl. You didn't need to, though."
"Oh, sweets, we did," Navy told the black-haired adolescent. "Thank us later." The two fairies floated off.
Nana immediately flew to Y'Link and hugged him. "Thanks for thinking." To Y'Link's surprise, Nana pulled him out of the milk bar and, once she was out of the sight of her brother, kissed him over and over, the mosquitoes biting both of them and making Y'Link REALLY want to itch his ass but he couldn't b/c he was too stunned to do anything plus Nana would think that her tongue in his mouth was boring and would give him the desire to itch a mosquito bite that happened to be on his ass.
The next morning, half of the smashers had gotten at least a little bit lucky the night before. They all vegetated around the breakfast table, Crazy Hand and his fellow hand typing agitatedly on normal-sized laptops. For some reason, the hands' uptightness made everyone else the same way. Outside, rain beat down on the ground and washed away dirt as lightning struck and thunder smashed in the distance, meaning that there would be no battles that day.
No one dared to speak, should one of the hands w/ reading glasses on their knuckles chew them out for making noise, so they quietly munched on their scrambled eggs and Cocoa Puffs. After a nice meal, the smashers all stumbled back to their dorms.
Daisy sighed to her roommate, Old Malon. "Today really sucks. I can't kick my sister's ass and that makes me angry!"
Malon nodded and cooed into the phone receiver she had held up to her cheek, "Please! Pick up the phone!"
"You can forget about ever talking to Samus again. You really blew it w/ her."
Tears clouded Malon's eyes as she dropped the phone. "You're right! I should've told her about my feelings for her! Oh, I feel so terrible!" Malon leaped into Daisy's arms and cried.
"That's IT! I can't stay friends w/ you! Oh, why do you like ME?!?!? There are other attractive men out there!!" Ganondorf yelled at Bowser, who'd decided to drop by w/ some flowers from the flower shop.
"I can't help my feelings... Just take these flowers and I'll never bother you again," Bowser pleaded, his eyes filling w/ tears.
"Oh, fine!" Gannondorf snatched the flowers and slammed his door, leaving the huge turtle in the hallway, all alone.
"WAHHHHHHHHH!!" Bowser howled, going back to his dorm that he shared w/ DK.
"What the fuck happened to my toothbrush and the beam sword I stole?!?!?!?!" MewTwo wondered angrily, glowering at his fellow psychic roommate Ness.
"Well, last night Roy came over b/c he said Marth was busy so we roasted marshmallows on his sword and those were the only sticks we found to stick them on," Ness explained.
MewTwo scowled. "Don't do it again."
Fox chatted quietly w/ his roommate Falco. "So. What is YOUR favorite kind of cheese?"
"Mmmm, definitely cheddar. It is simple and it tastes absolutely marvelous!" Falco answered, wishing desperately for around ten pounds of cheddar cheese. "Hey! How about we go get some cheese and eat it!"
"Dude! That's a fucking great idea!"
And so, the fox and bird went off to Master Hand's office for permission to go to a cheese shop.
"I don't care where you go as long as you don't bother me! I have work to do! Now shoo!" Master Hand barked. The two woodland creatures shrugged and continued on their way to the cheese shop, through the pouring rain and thunder. Finally they slipped into the shop.
"Ok, like, whatever. I totally thought about it, but, like, that thing was like really uncool. So like, would you like buy some cheese or, like, go to Hell?" the clerk, a tiny brown-haired Japanese woman, was telling someone.
Fox pushed the door opened and then closed it again to make sure the bell attached to it rang. "Uh, hello? We're customers!"
"Oh, yeah, like what kind of like cheese do you like want? We have like American cheese and like some other stuff I like can't pronounce."
"Do you have cheddar?" Falco asked, agitated.
"No, that's like in the like other like cheese shop like two shops like down."
Five minutes later, they stood in the other cheese shop. Captain Falcon had also had a craving for cheddar, so he bought it all.
"HEY YOU SON OF A BITCH!! WE WANT SOME, TOO!" Fox and Falco yelled, going to kick the idiot's ass.
"No! I bought it w/ my- owwww!!!" Captain Falcon ran smack dab into Link, and he too wanted some cheese.
"FORK IT OVER!" Fox, Falco, and Link commanded.
The idiot got up and ran five more feet before slamming into Bowser, another cheese craver.
"IT'S OURS!" Fox, Falco, Link, and Bowser told him.
Captain Falcon kept on going, but got struck by lightning and died. The cheese-hunters all celebrated and took a chunk of the delicious cheddar before running and slipping back to their dorms.
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OK. I know what you are thinking. (is she a nutbag? Who's Eliwood and Lili-chan? And Ayumi Hamasaki and-)
Yes. Eliwood is Roy's dad, from FE7. Roy is the splitting fucking image of him, which isn't only weird, it's CREEPY!!!!!! Lili-chan is from the same FE game as Roy. Her name is really Lilina, and she is probably the only girl that Roy doesn't act insanely dumb around b/c they are good friends, hence the "chan" suffix. Ayumi Hamasaki is a very famous J-Pop singer from Japan. I know enough Japanese to comprehend what she is singing about, a lot of the time it's about love, or ai.
I've also been playing Starfox adventures a lot, in addition to scoping out the Fire Emblem scene on the Japanese Nintendo site, and, is it just me, or is Krystal speaking a DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?!?!?! WTF? It's still a pretty awesome language, and Fox has a crush! Quote, right out of Fox's mouth: "Wow, she's beautiful." -.- and she is. Krystal, though somewhat lacking in clothes (heh, A LOT lacking in clothes) is very pretty. For a fox/cat/whatever. Now, next chappy I have no idea what to write about!! Dammit brain cramps really suck some serious ass. *goes off to listen to Hikki, Evanescence, and Ayu*