Marauder Snippets
THE CHICKEN INCIDENT
A/N: This used to be a chapter of Pieces of Moon, but I removed the story as both Aurora and I were having a hard time with it. After all, this entire thing you're about to read was just a silly bit of fluff I came up randomly.
Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter or Peter Pettigrew. I don't even own any of the Harry Potter books but the fifth! My sister owns one to five! GRR!
Remus woke the next morning to find James and Peter had already awoken, but Sirius was still snoring in bed. The first thing he heard when he woke was James telling him, grinning, "Sirius keeps on muttering about one of those Ravenclaw girls in his sleep!"
"Huh?" Remus mumbled, then glanced around at the many other boys who were up, lounging in the dormitory. "Shouldn't we be in class?"
"What?" James said absent-mindedly, he had obviously expected a different answer. "Oh - this annoying ghost trashed every room in the castle last night or something, it's taking the whole day for the teachers to clean everything, even with house elves, so we don't have classes. Lucky, huh?" he asked, then continued, "Everyone says he's a git, but I think I might like this ghost already." James sighed. "We still get homework though, from McGonagall. We have to read three chapters of whatever that Transfiguration book is."
Remus groaned and yawned before getting out of bed. Not bothering to change yet, he got his Transfiguration book and sat down on his bed, and began to read. He listened, though, as James started to wake Sirius.
"Hey, Sirius.." James cooed to a half-asleep Sirius, who, being an extremely light sleeper, opened his eyes and snapped,
"What?"
"I heard you muttering about Melanie Therman in your sleep..." James drawled, a grin sliding over his face.
"Why you little-" Sirius growled, and jumped up from bed, snatching his pillow up. He raised the pillow over her head, scowling. James shrieked in mock horror and ran around the room screaming, chased by Sirius. When Sirius finally caught up to him, he fell to his knees on the floor and pleaded in a high voice,
"No! Please don't hurt me!"
A mischievous grin spread over Sirius' sleepy features, and he announced, "I am Sirius Black, the Pillow King, the merciless, the almighty, the-"
He was cut off by Remus, who had been looking up from his homework to watch them.
"-The immature and stupid," he added cheerfully, which caused Sirius to abandon James(James took this as a chance to zip down to the Great Hall) and stalked over to Remus.
"How dare you question the Pillow King!" he hissed, ready to bonk Remus on the head. Remus grinned mischievously and took his own pillow. Sirius' grin matched his own.
"This is war!" Sirius announced dramatically.
"GO SIRIUS!" bellowed another boy, who was looking up from his game of Gobstones. His opponent scowled and yelled instead, "GO REMUS!" The two bickered angrily for a while.
Remus raised his pillow and whacked Sirius on the head, then ran out of the dormitory and down the stairs, hollering like a maniac. Sirius soon followed behind, the sounds emitting from his mouth similar to the calls of a monkey. Peter then ran after, too, clutching his own pillow. This resulted into a freak pillow fight, both Peter and Remus first hitting Sirius as a team, then Sirius joining Remus and Peter being off on his own. Sirius' pillow was the first to tear, the others' did soon after. But they all stopped playing abruptly when a sharp cough was heard from the doorway. All three pairs of eyes turned to the figure of Professor McGonagall, freshly dressed in morning robes, a bright tartan.
"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew," she observed, her eyes narrowing. "You have woken up several of the teachers with your hollering, and this mess you have made is not acceptable."
Without meaning to, Sirius grinned as he viewed the many feathers scattered over to the floor and over himself and the other two boys.
"Do you mean to sass me, Mr. Black?" McGonagall inquired, "Twenty points from Gryffindor, and detention for a week, for all of you. Now clean this up." She left, leaving the boys to themselves.
"Aw, that's nothing," Sirius assured them, "I can clean this up in no time! I've seen that blasted house elf of my family's use magic all the time, my mother refuses to use any Muggle-related."
He rushed back upstairs and got his wand. He brandished it like a sword and muttered a bunch of incoherent words.
To all three boy's surprise, the feathers seemed to collide together, and with a strange, quiet BOOM! a chicken appeared before them.
"Well," Peter said, smiling crookedly, "It-er-certainly cleaned everything up.."
Remus' eyes widened considerably.
"What..just happened?" he murmured, gawking at the chicken.
"Bawk?" the chicken cried, and began to peck at the floor as if it were birdseed.
At this very moment, James walked in.
"Oh, hello," he began, seeing his friends, "Are you not glad to be graced-" he stopped abruptly.
"What the heck is that thing?!" he cried, pointing at the hen.
"My new pet!" Sirius announced happily.
"..A chicken?!" James shrieked, "You bought a chicken?!"
"Well, not exactly," Sirius said, grinning, "I made it, I suppose."
"If I wake with that thing gnawing at my head, Sirius," Remus said sharply, "You will be the one who's birdseed."
"Oh, don't worry, Remmie-poo," Sirius said, "I'll keep her under my bed."
Peter rolled his eyes.
"And you expect the chicken to stay under there forever?"
"No," Sirius responded, "I'll take her for walkies in the sunshine!"
"Sirius," James said slowly, "You are completely mad." He paused for a moment, as if waiting for Sirius to disagree. "You-you aren't serious, are you?"
"But I'm always Sirius!" Sirius cried, grinning broadly.
"Why didn't we see that coming?" Remus said and groaned inwardly.
"Sirius - er -" James spluttered, still staring at the chicken, "- just - keep that thing away from me."
"Right-o," Sirius said absent-mindedly, now scooping up the distressed hen and taking her up the stairs.
"Sirius!" Peter cried, "You're bringing it upstairs now?! There are people up there - they could tell McGonagall!"