Chapter 6: I Didn't Ask to be Like This
They traveled for two days finally reaching the mines. The entrance way was still blocked from the last time the first fellowship journeyed through there, the girls were asked to use their gifts to make a path for the rest. For the two days they didn't stop except for short ten minute rests. When they did finally stop on the third day all were somewhat happy. That is for stopping being in the mines is a whole other issue. Arriël lay down next to Legolas, while the hobbits lay on the other side of her. Alexia, Dimtilïon and the others laid across from them on a large flat rock. Arriël loves the little hobbits especially Frodo it seems as if he knows exactly what she's going through, they always gathered around her before bed because she would sing them to sleep.
Merry came up to her with the others around him. "Hallo Arriël what are you going to sing to us tonight we have missed your voice ever so much." She looked up to them her eye's full of tears; Merry spoke again, "Arriël? Arriël is anything wrong?" He asked concerned.
Wiping her tears she shook her head. "No, come I have a very special song for you tonight" she paused and then began to sing. She sang her song as Arriël began to cry again. Frodo knowing she wanted to be alone motioned to the others to leave her be, Legolas came to her side, feeling his presence she wiped her tears, she sniffled in between her crying. She closed her eye's and the vision came to her again, parts of it replayed in her head like a movie and she was the only one in the theatre, it finally stopped and she let out a large sigh of relief.
He sat next to her. "Hello melamin, is anything wrong?" Legolas asked feeling his helplessness.
She finally looked to him still crying. "You know I didn't ask to be like this"
"Like what melamin?" He asked in all reality knowing what she was talking about.
"Like this! To see things that you don't even see in your worst nightmares. To live in constant fear of having the same vision play over and over again in your head like a movie" she said.
"We are who we choose to be" said Legolas.
"But I didn't choose to be like this! I didn't!" She screamed although no one paid any attention to her except for him she calmed down. "Why me Legolas why was I chosen to hold the fate of this world in my hands? Why couldn't I have stayed in my world and lived a somewhat normal teenage life?" She questioned feeling her tears flow more freely from her eyes.
"Because melamin, that world you were used to was not your world this is. That is why you were chosen the love of my life is the most powerful elf in the whole Middle-Earth. You are the one" he said grabbing her hand holding it tightly.
"But why melamin why me? I don't want any of this I wish I never came here I wish I could go back to my own time. The only thing I don't regret about being here is being with you. I'm just so scared of failing you all and others that I don't even know." She wrapped her arms around his waist and cried on his chest, he held her close stroking her back gently.
"Melamin may I ask you a question?" said Legolas.
"Of course, what is it?" She asked.
"The song you sang what is it about, the words have so much fear and doubt, and yet a reassuring peace and faith is also in them" Legolas said.
"Yeah, I know it always reminds me that no matter what I'm going through I know in the end that everything is going to be ok. Although this I'm not so sure of, I feel my faith starting to fade away." Arriël felt her heart become heavy with the burden that she now bares.
She awoke the next morning to find Sam and Frodo already awake. Sam of course fixing them a small breakfast. She smiled at his dedication to the fellowship; it's hard for her to smile these days. Though the burden she holds is so great she often feels like she's going to collapse. Seeing this throughout the time Frodo feels compassion for her. He walked towards her and smiled taking her hand and said nothing more. Arriël felt a comfort from him like he knew exactly what she's going through. His compassion touches her very soul, and she remembers hearing his side of the story during the trials of the one ring.
She finally spoke. "You know Frodo I feel like you're the only one that understands me is that so wrong to think that?" She asked.
"Of course not because it's true no one here knows what it's like to carry a burden such as you do but me. Yes, each one of us had our own tribulations during the battle of the one ring, but no one carried the way I did. Although is seems untrue at times, because we all endured hardships during that perilous time. Yet not one of them carried the ring as long as I did, in fact I was the only one. Now come let us not speak of this anymore." He said leading her to the other's while they ate breakfast and packed for another long day in those awful mines.
They finally reached the ending of the mines not disturbing their surroundings. Gandalf remembering the first time they traveled through the mines made fun of poor Merry. When he pushed the dead dwarf down the well causing more chaos, then they already needed.
"I'm telling you! Push one dead dwarf down a well causing a little bit of noise and you're branded for life" he said throwing his arms into the air.
"I'll thank you not to refer to my ancestors as mere dwarf's thank you" Gimli said.
"I apologize but honestly I didn't mean to" he said in his defense.
Within about five hours they reached the end of the mines. All happy to see the sunlight shine on their faces. Arriël especially happy to see the sun shine on her face, she feels as if she's been locked away in the darkness her soul rejoices at the sent of the fresh air, the warmth of the bright afternoon sun, and the light breeze across her face.
She smiles to herself as Gandalf tells the fellowship to rest for a while. They'll begin their journey once again soon enough. As she sits on a small rock she closes her eye's letting her mind drift away, her soul at peace. Her mind at ease she remembers all the wonderful times, she had back at home with her family, and friends. Arriël begins to drift off into her memories, remembering Christmas at her aunt's house, with the entire family gathered around the tree. Singing Christmas hymns, drinking home made egg nog, and opening gifts. But soon she comes back to reality, realizing that none of that is ever going to happen again, because the life she once knew and loved is gone never to return.
She lives here now Middle-Earth her home, and she thinks to herself this is my home and I will not let anyone harm it. Legolas sees her in deep thought, noticing he wonders to himself what is my love thinking about. Never actually asking her, he's left in the dark about it. Gandalf informs them that their now leaving.
"Gandalf do really have to leave now?" Arriël said complaining.
"Yes Arriël, orcs come near this area at night and Lady Galandriel's home is not to far from here. We journey to her home for sanctuary, and guidance on this journey" he said to her.
"Alright" she said placing her bow, and quiver on her back, along with her daggers.