Dude. That last chapter was like WO. And this chapter will be like WO.
I GOT THE AYUMI HAMASAKI GREATEST HITS CD FOR XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
Oh yeah: I don't own My Little Ponies, The Sims, any random quotes of songs in any language (unless I SAY they're mine, in which case YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM),
Playboy, Dominoes Pizza, Taco Beuno, Furbies, Barbie dolls, 'Spongebob Terroristpants,' or any other shit that might come up, and OSAMA BIN LADEN IS A PIECE OF SHIT LITTLE FUCKHEAD COWARD WHO WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO MY COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Most of this chappy is in Japanese and watashi translates some when watashi feels like it, in parenthesis. And Captain Falcon's gonna die more times than usual in this chappy... heee hee hee....
On w/ chappy!! =^.^=
☆チャプター続ける☆ ＝＾。＾＝
The lounge room showed only minor signs of partying: a cumstain here or there, a few spilled alcohol puddles, and a cloud of pot smoke that appeared to be dancing to the tune of Ayumi Hamaski's 'Real Me,'(which isn't on the greatest hits CD, which sucks cuz it's an awesome song!)
A woman never shows her fears,
A woman never shows her tears,
IN ORDER TO SURVIVE
Namida wa tayasuku
Dareka ni miseru mon janai
What I need?
What you need?
Yokubou ga atte
Mitasarenai uchi wa
Daijoubu kamo ne...
Over in the corner, the party continued for a few hungover girls. They all crowded around a computer that no one had ever noticed before.
"... Come on, Pimp Juice, I bet Zha 50 rupees that you'd get in bed w/ Slutty Lady before Pimpo did!!" Zelda complained as she watched what her Sims were doing in the Pimpo Pad. It had a bigass dance floor, and 3 love beds. And a magic mirror and 15 Servos. :DDDD
"Look's like I'm 50 rupees richer..." Zha said triumphantly as Slutty Lady the Sim got in one of the numerous love beds w/ Pimpo the Sim. She held her hand out expectantly.
"Oh I'll just go get my purse..." Zelda said, and then turned and ran away. Zha closely followed.
Up stairs and down stairs they went, thru the halls of the mansion until they were finally out of breath, in the guy's end of the mansion. In Roy's and Marth's room, they could hear Roy and Marth, obviously arguing, in Japanese too fast to comprehend.
"Onore wa oroka!! Dora musuko no ama!!" Roy screamed, an obvious retort to something said earlier.
"Oh un? Onore ga akatamo no unchi!!" Marth argued back.
"Haa- haa!! Ima boku akatamo no unchi ga ka??" Roy asked sarcastically.
"Hai. Akatamo no unchi," Marth answered.
"Dochimichi!!" (Whatever!!) Roy said, unlike himself.
"Dochimichi!! Onore gamashii teinaja!!" (Whatever!! You sound like a teenager!!) Marth said stupidly.
"Boku WA teinaja, onore wa ASSWIPE!!" (I AM a teenager, You are an ASSWIPE!!) Roy clarified, which pissed Marth off more
"Iie, ONORE wa ASSWIPE!!" (No, You're an ASSWIPE!!) Marth fanned the flames.
"Nuh-uh!! Marusu ga FUKKINGU ASSWIPE!!!" (Nuh-uh!! Marth is a FUCKING ASSWIPE!!) Roy was getting pissed.
"Jimei, Roi ga FUKKINGU ASSWIPE!!!" (Obviously, Roy is a FUCKING ASSWIPE!!) Marth repeated.
"Onore shinamono sagashiateru!! Asswipe watashi no taragaru desu!!!!" Roy told Marth, not very calmly, that it was HIS putdown. hahaha I love it when they fight!!
Zelda and Zha shrugged, and then heard sounds coming from Captain Falcon's dorm. They walked across the hall and pressed an Elf ear and a normal ear to the door to eavesdrop.
"...I mean, Ken is just SO manly! Purrrr, babay, you go nail Midge's boyfriend!!" Yoshimitsu's voice said.
"...*fake sob* but Ken... what about us? Aren't we something??" Captain Falcon said in a fake girl's voice.
"Yeah... but Midge's boyfriend is so hott!! I'm sorry, Barbie, he and I are going to Ponyland to become hot gay strippers for the My Little Ponies. We'll be SUCH a hott act!!!"
"I doubt it Ken, there are so few male ponies in Ponyland that any gay ones are rioted or trampled to death. Besides, those ponies are so FAT!!"
"Well, Ryan and I AREN'T ponies, are we?? We're hott human beings."
"Ahhhhh!! I can't believe you would do such a thing!!! After we had 20 sets of sextuplets- what will I do?!?!" *Barbie's 120 kids come in and murder her*
"Daddy!! We want to go to Ponyland w/ you and Mr. Ryan!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeeee?????" the 120 kids asked in perfect unison.
"Ahhhhhhh, NO!! YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING BASTARDS THAT I NEVER WANTED!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY REASON I DIDN'T SEND YOU ALL TO CHINA IS B/C OF 'BARBIE!!!' FUCK BARBIE, AND FUCK ALL HER LITTLE DEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Ken pulls out an AK-47 and fires for 47 hours in Barbie time* "Ahhhh, no more kids! Now, I'm gonna go join the Taliban!"
*Ryan walks in* "I thought you were going to Ponyland w/ me, you jerk!! Don't you care about my feelings at ALL?!?!?!?!?" *Ryan pulls out an Uzi and then he and Ken get in a huge gunfight for 33 more Barbie time hours*
*Ken wins and then goes off to join the Taliban* "*Ken walks into Osama's secret cave hideout* Hey, waaaaaaasssssssuuuuppppp O-Man??!"
"Stupid American!! I am a coward that fucks all my camels until they die! Why do you come here!?" Osama said.
"Can I join the Taliban??? PLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSEEEE?" Ken begged.
"You sound like your 120 kids!!! Die American!!" *Osama points his AK-47 at Ken's head, but gets interrupted by his friend*
"Mr. Osama, sorry to interrupt your killing of an American, but SpongeBob Terroristpants is on!!"
"I cannot miss it!!" *Osama runs off to watch Spongebob Terroristpants*
*Ken, angered, fires his AK-47 into the back of all the Terrorist's heads for 350 Barbie hours* The terrorists all died, and then a bunch of soldiers took him to Washington DC.
*Ken walks in to the President Bush's office* "Yes, Mr. President, I'm the man who killed Osama bin Laden. Aren't you pleased??*=^_^=*"
"No. You also murdered your 120 kids, and your gay boyfriend. And you wanted to join the Taliban, not kill them, you piece of shit! Go to Guantanamo Bay Cuba!! NOW!!" Bush said.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! You can't do this!!!!!!!! I VOTED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ken yelled as he was being dragged off by Mr. Bush's henchmen.
Zelda and Zha bust in the door after listening to what the idiots were saying. Captain Falcon, Lizardman, Bowser, and Yoshimitsu were all sitting in a big circle, each one holding a different Barbie doll.
"Well, what the hell was that?" Zha asked.
"Welllllllllll," Lizardman started, but was interrupted by a huge fart courtesy of Bowser. *everyone, except Captain Falcon, plugs their noses*
*Captain Falcon dies**no one cares :D* "Well, we won't ask. Come on, Zelda, let's go eavesdrop on some more people!!" Zha said.
"Ok! But first lemme get..." *Zel pulls a video camera out of no where* "This!! haha!" They left the room and Zel turned the camera, focusing it on Zha.
"Ok. Is it on? It is? Oh. OK. Hi, I'm Xianghua and I, along w/ Zel," *Zel turns the cam to herself, smiles, and the focuses it back on Zha* "are gonna eavesdrop on peoplesez! FUN!"
So they went down the hall, la la la, until they got to Gannondorf and Pikachu's dorm. Zel grinned from one huge ear to the other as she listened in on Pikachu's conversation w/ someone.
"...Do you REALLY think that you can sing that song w/o messing up? I doubt it," said whoever Pikachu was w/.
"Yeah?? *music plays in the dorm room* Ok, here I go!!" Pikachu started singing:
"I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
I hit the baddest chicks
Shorty don't believe me, then come with me tonight
And I'll show you maaagic
What? What? Maaagic
I got the magic stick"
"Yo, Pikachu, that's enough, aight? Now I sing mah song, yo mothafucka jus' sit down I'll show y'all how it's done!" a different voice said, definitely female. *the song switches and the voice starts singing*
"Build a bridge to your mind
takes me there every time
lay it all on the line
if there's a way
build a bridge, make a path
overlook the aftermath
make my tears be your bath
if there's a way
only if you'll take a ride
go with me to the other side
Even though it's gonna crumble down
I'll keep building till you come around
even though it's gonna fall apart, break my heart
I'll keep building 'till i die"
"That's SO like you to sing a sad song, Chikorita," Pikachu said sarcastically.
"But it's PRETTY!!" Chikorita protested. "Limp Bizkit rocks not only when they pissed off but sad, yo."
*Zel and Zha bust in the dorm* "Hocus pocus, your in focus, I forgot the rest of the song, SMILE, YOUR ON ZELDA'S CAMERA!!" Zelda sang as she zoomed in on the bizarre sex party that was going on.
In the corner, Gannondorf was tied up w/ a pair of Chikorita's thong underwear and Impa was sucking him off, forcefully, b/c Squirtle had his 30.-06 to the back of her head and a fat joint in his mouth, in another corner, Chikorita was giving Pikachu a lap dance as she continued to sing to Limp Bizkit's 'Build a Bridge,' Link, Kilik and Peach were watching porn on the TV, behind them Rika (from the 3rd season of Digimon), Ash (from Pokemon), and Misty (also from Pokemon) were having a threesome, Takato and Geri (both from the 3rd season of Digimon) were making out next to them, in yet another corner Yoshi and Assassin were taking drugs, and in the middle of the room there was a pole which Taki and Sophitia danced on like mock strippers. Everyone temporarily stopped what they were doing to look briefly at the 2 girls w/ a camera, then they just continued to do whatever.
Zha told them all to say hi, so they did, and then she and Zelda went down the hall to Ness and MewTwo's dorm. After hearing no interesting sounds coming from the room, they just walked in. Ness was puking his brains out, as Popo, next to him, held a barfbag out for him to barf in, Y'Link kept giving him bottles of milk to drink, and Nana was writing checks on a chalkboard.
"Ummm, what are you guys doing?" Zelda asked, confused.
Popo looked up, but Nana answered for him. "We're doing an experiment on Ness."
"What kind?"
Y'Link turned around as Ness was drinking his latest bottle of milk. "We want to see how many bottles of milk Ness's body can handle before his entire system shuts down. So far, he's drank 17 of my milk bottles." Nana pointed at the chalkboard, which had 17 checks on it.
"Oh, ok. Whatever," Zha said and left to go to down to Dr. Mario and DK's dorm.
They listened to terrible screams, until they just slipped into the door, very silently. On Dr. Mario's operating table, MGAW was asleep, w/ a bloody blanket over him, and Dr. Mario was cutting some things in the "nether" region. Mario was holding MGAW's unconscious hand, wailing and screaming bloody murder.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Zha asked, bewildered.
Mario wiped his eyes w/ a Kleenex tissue. "MGAW is... getting his dick chopped off. Just for me! It makes me SOOOOOOOO grateful! And, sad..."
"I am also planning to not only castrate him, but turn him into a woman!! So, then, he'll be Mrs. Game and Watch!!" Dr. Mario said as he continued to chop. "I've already called Britney Spear's breast implant surgeon, and the most famous transsexual of all... Marilyn Manson!!"
"Cool. I love that song... how's it go again?" MewTwo said as he walked in the open door. "The one about drugs?"
*Marilyn Manson also comes in the door* "The one about my fucked up dream? Aight.. aight..." He grabbed a scalpel as a mock microphone and began to sing 'that song':
"I had a dream last night, Smashers,
You wanna hear that dream?
I said, do you wanna hear that dream?
I was drowning in a sea of liquor
And I washed up on a beach made of cocaine
The sky was made of L.S.D.
And every tree was made of marijuana
But the cops pulled me over
They did not arrest me
Instead they SUCKED MY DICK
And it was so beautiful that God came down from heaven
And he said to me, Marilyn Manson
We will no longer spell the word God, G-O-D
I said how do you wanna spell it god?
Gimmie a D, D
Gimmie a R, R
Gimmie a U, U
Gimmie a G, G
Gimmie a S, S
And what does that spell? DRUGS!"
"Thank you, thank you," he said at all of the applause that he was getting from his small audience. "I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me..."
Zelda and Zha backed slowly out of the room, permanently scarred, and ran over to the girls' side of the mansion. On the way, Zelda smashed into the SC2 Link (who is a very hot badass looking Bishounen), and he spilled the nachos and cheese that he was carrying all down Zelda's dress. He looked down to examine how bad the stain was.
He muttered something in Hylian, which Zelda understood, b/c she said something back and giggled. Then, she shoved the camera into Zha's hands and walked to her dorm w/ Link. Disgustedly, Zha went back up to the lounge room. On the way, she saw Captain Falcon sticking a fork in an outlet and getting electrocuted. She rolled her eyes and watched him die, then continued on her way to the lounge room. Finally, she got there. Nothing had changed, except Ayumi Hamasaki was performing live in the middle of the room! YAY!
She flipped her short blond hair back. "Hey hey hey!! This one for you, my fans! Tanoshimu! BANZAI!!" she yelled unnecessarily as her musicians started to play the beginning of 'Evolution.'(one of her kEwLeR songs, besides 'Boys and Girls') Finally, after a whole fucking minute of electronic guitars droning, she began to sing:
"Sou da ne bokura atarashii jidai o
mukaeta mitai de kisekiteki ka mo ne
nido to wa chotto ajiwaenai yo ne
mou ichido omoidashite
We're meeting in a new time, it's a miracle
It's only happened twice but
We'll never be able to taste it again
Lets remember one more time
Kono hoshi ni umaretsuita hi
kitto nan da ka ureshikute
kitto nan da ka setsunakute
bokura wa naite itan da
wow yeah wow yeah wow wow yeah
This earth was only a star on our first day
we were all so happy
we were all so hurt
we were crying,
wow yeah wow yeah wow wow yeah"
She finished off the song, translating each verse as she did so, until the last 'yeah' echoed off in the distance. "Did you like? I think it fun! =^_^=," she said, grinning widely.
Zha taped the entire concert and made note to get the Japanese girl's autograph. Then, she shut the camera off and walked over to the girls still playing the Sims. They had left the Pimpo Pad and gone to Daisy's lesbian house. The Sim superstar Lau Yuli was having wild sex w/ the other Sim superstar living w/ her, Christina Somebody, in her outside Fuck Bed, as their perverted obsessed fan watched and... uggghhhh.... took pictures! Little pervert! Zha watched as they both got out of the Fuck Bed, and then Lau went to get rid of the obsessed fan as Christina called over some more superstars for a Fuck Party. Daisy, giggling like she was party of the sex party that was about to happen, watched w/ much delight. Picking up Zelda's video camera and turning it on, Zha smiled. As she was recording the hilarious Slap/Fuck Party, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and Ayumi Hamasaki was standing there.
"What you doing?" she asked, scrunching up her oddly American-looking face.
"Uhhhh, I'm watching my friends play the Sims," Zha answered, gesturing a lot b/c Ayu sucks at English.
"'The Sims??'" Ayu wondered.
"Sim People nihon namae," Zha clarified.
"OHH! Sim People! Watashi sore gemu suki yo!!!" Ayu laughed. "Sore ga kokkei! Very funny!" She pushed through the crowd to watch the Fuck Party.
2 guys were standing outside the 1 room Fuck Pad, along w/ 4 girls, who were making out. Whoever instigated the kiss got slapped by everybody, b/c everyone had red hot love for everybody else. Finally, after flexing for each other 377 times, 1 of the guys kissed Lau fiery, then he got slapped by the other guy and all the girls except Lau.
Across the room, Nightmare was plotting to destroy something. "Must.... find.... something... to...killll...." he said in his deep voice. Looking around, he saw Captain Falcon fucking w/ Ayu's guitar. "Haaa..Haaaa.. Something to.... kiiiiiilllllllllll....." He walked over to the faggot-ass, flipped his (BEAUTIFUL!!) ass-length blond hair (that I WISH I had! His hair is so FUCKING PRETTY!! It's not fair!! My hair only goes down to my nipples!!! :PPPPP) out of his green eyes and stopped in front of Captain Faggot. "Heeeeeellllllllllloooooo...... wwwwhooooooo.....arrrreeeee.... yyyouuuuu...??"
"Captain Falcon, the coolest(gayest) guy in the universe!! Who are you?"
"No one.... knows..... my... REAL... name. They... alll.. callll...me... NIGHTMARE!!" After his introduction, Nightmare lifted the bigass sword in his left hand.
Captain Falcon began to sweat. "Sooo... uh.. You're a lefty?"
Nightmare smiled. "Yeaaaah... You want...to...make.... something of....it?"
"Uhhhhhhh....." Captain Falcon pissed himself. "No, I... I'M AFRAID!!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nightmare then chased the idiot all over the lounge room. Finally he got a hold on him and... you know the rest... All of the girls watched, in awe, and Nightmare went back to brooding in the corner. Ayu saw that her guitar was slightly moved, so she got mad.
"Who touch guitar?!? I say 'touch guitar?!' NO!! Which person touch guitar!!!???!?!" Ayu screamed, running to her guitar and holding it like it was her own flesh and blood. "Kigakiri nai, sore wa yoroshii. Hinpu akachan... WATASHI NO EREKI!! IIE!! (Don't worry, it's all right. Poor baby... MY ELECTRIC GUITAR!! NO!!)"
The remaining girls all stared. "Dude, it was only moved, like, a centimeter," Samus said. Zha caught it all on video, and decided that she was definitely going to show the video to Zelda after Zel was 'done' w/ the SC2 Link.
Nightmare stepped out of the shadows and over to where Ayu was. "Captain... Falcon... was... touching... it.... I stopped him," Nightmare explained.
Ayu smiled. "Thank you!" She pulled out one of her many CDs ('I am...') and autographed it. "Here CD for reward. Now I must go write song about anger." *Ayu walks into a dark corner w/ a pad of paper, a paintbrush, and a book of Kanji*
Nightmare examined the CD. His eyes widened at the sight of Ayumi Hamasaki draped in nothing but vines w/ a dove on her shoulder (lol). Gee.. he thought. This is a good picture to jack off to... So he ran off to the public bathroom and jumped in the nearest stall, the same one that Roy went in to jack off (hmmm...), and..... you know....
All of the girls exploded in laughter. Samus suddenly slid into a shadow while they were guffawing at the events that had just taken place in front of them, and slipped out the door.
In the hall, Samus took off her helmet, shook her head of long brown hair. (? what color is Samus's fucking hair!?!?! I don't want it to be blond, there's enough blonds in the story, including Ayu and myself, so Samus died her hair so ppl couldn't make blond jokes...heh heh heh...) She walked on until she reached a door labeled "Janitor's Closet." Glancing around to make sure that no one was watching, she turned the doorknob and jumped in.
The closet was dark, until Samus pulled on the chain connected to a light. Light flooded the small room, as Samus looked around. She found what she was looking for, a mop supposedly leaning against the wall. The wall that the mop was leaning on turned to reveal a secret room after Samus pushed on it.
The room was sparkling white from floor to ceiling, and smack dab in the center there was one of those awesome egg chairs facing away from Samus. All over the walls were pictures of Fox, in almost every place in the galaxy. Samus trotted over to the egg chair and sat down. She began to tap her fingertips together like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons, and twirled around in her chair, her face puzzled. She stopped at one certain picture and the accompanying newspaper article. Leaning forward, she read through the article, which read:
The Game 'Super Smash Brothers' Causes Scandal
発狂 ステーション (Insanity Station)、任天堂 世 (Nintendo World)ー
Several months ago, the entire gaming world was rocked by scandal. The developing game known to the public only as 'Super Smash Brothers' was the cause. Around seven months ago, a rumor circulated about a certain love interest that anyone would think distasteful among the fighters to be in this game. Our sources visited the Smash Bros. mansion and found this rumor to be true.
The fighters known as Fox MCcloud and Samus Aran were, indeed, interested in each other romantically. The thought of Fox (pictured right), and Samus (pictured left), made many fans of the game lose their interest almost immediately. After this happened, the makers of the game, known only to the world as "Master Hand" and "Crazy Hand" were forced to abort plans for further fights, special events, and secret characters to appear in the game. They released the game early and forced the fighters to take memory erasing drugs in order to forget anything about the romantically involved fighters as well as their experience in the Smash Bros. mansion. The creators expect to try and make a sequel to the game in several years, in which they will put all of the bells and whistles that they couldn't put in this game.
Samus's hand slid up to her face involuntarily to cover her gaping mouth. Memories came flooding back, of the necklace Fox had given her on their last day, building this shrine of Fox, the drunken threesome w/ Luigi and Fox, kicking Captain Falcon's ass- they all suddenly seemed so... real. Before they'd only been wisps of an image that, when she tried to grasp it completely, ran from her mind. She'd only found this shrine from a hunch that had come to her after hearing Ayumi Hamasaki say "I must go write song about anger," only someone, in her past, had said, "I must go write a song about you, my dear..." Samus now knew that was Fox and, carefully ripping the article off of the wall, was determined to prove it to... someone. The first person she saw.
She got back to the janitor's closet and put the mop back in place. After stumbling out, she saw Zelda and the SC2 Link strolling down the hall, hand in hand. Samus trotted over to them, clutching the article like it was pure gold.
"Zelda! I have to show you something!" Samus said, the distance between herself and the couple becoming less.
"What do you need to show me, Sam?" Zel asked when Samus got to her. Samus held out the article and Zel took it. After she scanned it twice, she slowly looked up, her face solemn. "So. So... I... don't know what to say..."
"Dr. Mario was right! So know we have to spread the word... No, I've got to show this to Fox! Do you know where he is?"
"Haven't seen him. Sorry..." Zel said indifferently and jogged up the stairs, the SC2 Link asking questions in Hylian as he hastily followed her.
Samus turned, her heart racing. Maybe someone in the lounge room would know where he was? Samus scurried up the stairs, going 2 at a time. She nearly ran headlong into the door of the lounge room, then just bust into the door.
Ayu was performing an awesome song, 'Boys & Girls' and everyone was dancing.
ta la la la...
kagayaki dashita bokura wo dare ga tomeru koto nado dekiru darou
habataki dashita karera wo dare ni tomeru kenri ga atta no darou
ta la la la...
We began to shine. Someone can stop us, right?
We began to flap. Someone had the right to stop them, right?
yoku kuchi ni shite iru
yoku yume ni mite iru
yoku futari katattari shite iru
"shiawase ni naritai" tte
mou nando me ni naru n darou
ittai nani ga hoshikute
ittai nani ga fuman de
ittai doko e mukau no to ka tte
kikarete mo kotae nante
mochiawasete'nai kedo ne
It's on my lips.
It's in my dreams.
It's a story told by two.
You say you want to be happy.
You've already been so many times.
What do you want?
What's lacking?
Where will you turn?
Even if you ask,
I won't have the answer.
senaka osu shunkan ni
wasurenaide ite
kono natsu koso wa to
kawashita yakusoku wo
The moment you support me,
don't forget
the promises we exchanged
this summer.
She finished off the awesome song. Haaa- I could listen to that song all fucking day. And 'Audience.' Those are all very awesome songs. Anyway, Samus continued to look around for Fox. There was absolutely NO sign of him.
She trotted over to the only person who'd been in the lounge room all day: Yoshi. "Hey Yoshi, what's up?"
*Yoshi jumps a foot out of his chair* "Oh, it's just you, Samus. We were playing BS; I SWEAR I'm not cheating!!"
MewTwo gave him an evil glare. "Then why'd you jump so high?" The other people at the table, Anaxandra, Ness, Yungsung, Wario, Sibby, Kammie, and Kirby all looked at him critically as well, ready to chew him out about his cards and if he was or wasn't lying about them.
Samus grinned at the card players. "Has anyone seen Fox?"
They all shook their heads. Disgruntled, Samus turned to go to the last place on her checklist: Fox's ship.
Once out on the grounds of the SSBM mansion, Samus knew where to go. Before, in the odd confrontation w/ 5 different Foxes, each w/ varying accents, the Irish Fox had led her to the ship. She followed her memory, glancing at the article every once in a while, to make sure she hadn't gone completely nuts. Finally, the Great Fox stood, grandly, above her. She inched closer, her tension building, until she knocked politely on the side of the ship.
After several (less polite, heh heh) knocks on the ship, she got pissed off and all out kicked it. A piece of paneling fell off, and Slippy's too-high voice followed it. He smashed open a door right next to Samus, and looked at her.
"Sam?" He took a suck of his helium balloon. "Why didn't ya knock on the door? We'd have opened it! Jeez!" He stepped out of the doorway, allowing the space fighter to come in.
The Great Fox, which usually smelled like Marijuana and burning rubber and sounded like a crowded bus station, reeked of perfume, and soft music throbbed off in a room somewhere on the ship. The lights were dimmed, and both Slippy and Peppy were dressed in robes. Over at the control center, ROB was lighting some candles and perfume sticks. Peppy was reading a magazine called "Modern Bunny Ne" and Falco laid, passed out, on the grubby floor, which Slippy had obviously been cleaning.
Slightly agitated, Slippy blocked her view as best he could. "What can I do for ya, SAM?"
Snapping out of it, Samus answered quickly, "Have you seen Fox anywhere?"
Slippy's eyes widened more. He took a nervous suck from the helium balloon. "Uhhh... No, Sam. Can't help ya... I ...um, haven't.. seen him.... Yeah..."
Eyes narrowing, Samus found that he sounded suspicious. "Where was the last place you saw him?"
"The party last night... Why?"
"I wanted to show him something; THIS!!" Sam shoved the article in Slippy's face, and waited as he read it.
Slippy let go of the balloon and it zoomed everywhere. Coughing, he looked down and shuffled his feet. Across the room, Peppy appeared from behind his magazine. "Sam? You're here?"
Slippy ran over to the helium machine, filled up a balloon, emptied its contents into his mouth, and went to tell Peppy about the article. The magazine slid to the floor, as Peppy got up and kicked Falco in the balls, waking him up instantly. Then he, too, told of the piece of writing to the bird. Falco just got up and kicked both of them in the balls, and then he ran into another room. Seconds later, Fox came out, and it was obvious that he'd also been kicked in the balls. It was also obvious what he'd been doing before having his nuts so viscously assaulted, and that was screwing someone, b/c he was shirtless, sweaty, and his shorts looked very thrown on.
Unexpectedly, Fox kicked Falco in the balls. Then, ROB, realizing that a nut-kicking contest was about to begin, ran over and kicked Slippy in the balls. Slippy kicked Peppy in the balls, and then Peppy kicked Fox in the balls, Fox kicked Falco in the balls, and then Falco went and kicked Samus in the balls she didn't have w/ his bare foot.
*****CLANG***** "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Falco screamed as his foot bounced off Samus's metal armor. Everyone but Falco bust into uncontrollable laughter.
"Ow," Samus said sarcastically. She looked in Fox's direction. "So, Fox, I've found something interesting that you may take interest in."
Fox smiled and held up 1 finger. He shuffled back in the room, shut the door, and was obviously talking to whoever he'd been doing. An entire 3 minutes later and he walked out, fully clothed and dripping wet.
"Wow, Fox, I never knew you could take a shower that fast!" Peppy marveled, rubbing his sore nuts as he picked up the magazine.
Fox flicked his dripping tail in the rabbit's direction, but the water sprayed Falco instead. Ignoring the fuming falcon who'd just waged war on everyone's nuts, Fox sauntered over to Samus. Falco hadn't told him, and Sam praised him as she criticized him, her mind whirring.
"I... um, do you want to got to the Milkbar? I'll tell you what I want to there..."
*5 minutes later, Fox and Samus are at the Milkbar, milkshakes in front of each of them*
"So, Sam, throw it at me!" Fox commanded her, crossing his arms jokingly as he sipped at his milkshake.
Samus took a deep breath and handed the article to him. She watched his eyes comb over it and then his eyes widen as he read the same line over and over again. When he finally looked up, he avoided her eyes and she avoided his as they both coughed uncomfortably and itched itches that didn't need to be scratched.
Samus broke the unbearable silence. "Isn't that... interesting...?"
Fox looked at her, nodded, and they both broke out in laughter. "That explains a lot... like how I'd always have this...this... err.."
"...'wisp' of an image?"
Fox grinned. "Yeah... but when I..."
"...try and look further it goes away?" Samus finished his sentence off again. He gave her the most beautiful smile and got up to sit on her side of the table. Sliding his arm around her, they cuddled there for awhile, sipping their milkshakes serenely, heavenly.
In the table behind them, Zelda and the SC2 Link were enjoying a meal famous back in Hyrule, made from fish, ibex meat, and kohlrabi, called Kohshibe. They'd heard everything and Zelda was busy translating the conversation for him.
She listened harder, but heard nothing but pleasant slurping. "They're making out!!" She giggled in Hylian to him.
He laughed. "You sure?"
Zel nodded, winking. "We'll just leave them to their 'business.'" She winked and, taking Link's hand, ambled out of the store.
*several hours later*
*grunt* "Dude, what the fuck?"
Pichu opened his eyes enough to let a little light in, but immediately closed them again. "Who there? Y'Link?" He peeked out from under the covers just to see a passed out Ness, his striped shirt covered in thrown-up milk, being carried by Popo and Y'Link. Nana followed closely, nervous about breaking one of the hands many rules, the rule about "if you're underage, you can't be in a boy's room after 9:00."
Pichu sat up, interested. "What you doing?"
Y'Link glanced in his direction. "Ummm, Pichu... Popo and Ness will sleep here tonight. Go to your cardboard box."
"YAY!! Cardboard box!! *=^_^=*" Pichu dove into the TV box, which reeked of mildew. Popo curled his nose up as he and Y'Link put Ness on Pichu's bed.
"Umm, Y'Link? We're breaking rules here..." Nana told them nervously as she watched the clock tick to 9:16.
Y'Link grinned. "So? I'd never be able to save the world if I always followed rules."
Nana smiled back, and quickly ran to her own dorm, unconvinced.
The next day at the breakfast table, ppls were eating. Yeah. Captain Falcon fell asleep in his cereal bowl and drowned. Ha ha.
Ness, still covered in milk, nonchalantly asked Nana how many bottles of milk he'd drank before he passed out.
Digging in her pocket, Nana raised her eyebrows. "I think the final count was up to 47," she answered, eyeing him. Ness smiled as he thought about sending that number in to the Guiness Book of World Records.
"Wow. That's a lot," Zel commented. Master Hand and Crazy Hand came in the breakfast room right when she was saying that.
"What's a lot?" Crazy Hand asked.
"Nothing."
"Good. Now, everyone say goodbye to our guests. I hope you enjoyed their company." All of the SC2 fighters stood there helplessly, waiting to be dismissed. Master Hand waved, and the rest of the smashers followed suit. All of the SC2 peeps ran out the front door, not to be seen again. Zha had given Zel her camera back, and she planned on watching the video of the madness along w/ all of the other smashers later in the lounge room.
Seconds after, Impa the nasty elf trotted out, followed by Reporter Pikachu, Pichu, and MewTwo. "Attention, please?" The smashers all looked in her direction, scowling. "Pikachu, Pichu, MewTwo and I have put together a newspaper. Would anyone like one?"
Everyone wanted a newspaper, and, five minutes later, everyone had one. The room fell silent as they all scanned the newspaper. Samus looked up first.
"This newspaper is shit!!" She set it on fire w/ her blaster thing, and seconds later Roy also threw his out the window. Everyone soon knew why and didn't blame them. The headline read, "Samus and Roy: Michinaranukoi?" and the accompanying picture was of Roy carrying Samus down the stairs when she'd been too drunk to do it herself. Soon everyone had even more of a reason to hate Impa; she'd written something untrue about every single smasher. An article about Mario and Luigi describing their ties w/ the Mafia, many pictures of Kirby and Jigglypuff moping around w/ Kammie along w/ a shitty article telling why they were unhappy, explicit pictures of Fox feeling Krystal up, Link feeling Zelda up, DK slapping Ganny's ass, MewTwo next to Mew w/ a glass of wine, Pink Yoshi and Yoshi covered up only by Sakura saku, and the worst picture, Captain Falcon inn his speedos. (EWWWWWWWW!!!!! NASTY!!)
"How did you get these pictures!!??" DK asked, staring at his hand swooping after Ganny's thick ass. (seriously. Ganny has a fat ass. We know, we have nice butt contests w/ all the trophies and Roy comes in first, Gannondorf in second, and either Link/Y'Link/Marth/any other bishie trophy there might be in last. It's funny. My friend, a dirty minded blond like watashi, found that his dick stuck out pretty far, too!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Ganny has a big #$%! I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other sisters can't deny, when guys walk in with a wicked awesome hairdo and a round thing in your face it's like WOW, can I see ya...)
Impa looked at DK. "Why do you want to know? Something got you 'embarrASSed?'"
All eyes turned to Impa, hate throughout them. In a blinding movement, all of the Smashers were on her, even her associates MewTwo, Pikachu, and Pichu. Master Hand floated backward, taken aback, and then watched along w/ Crazy Hand as fur, hair, clothes, fists, pointy objects, shoes, bodies, newspapers, fire, evil magic, fireballs, glittery magic, radishes, needles, chains, pills, pancakes, water, electricity, laser beams, bombs, missiles, and insults flew through the air. Laughing, they went to go make some lemonade and then came back w/ some chairs and enjoyed the show of Impa getting seriously killed. The doorbell rang, and Crazy Hand went to get it.
At the huge door, looking around, was some bum in a Dominoes Pizza outfit carrying 17 party pizzas. "Hi," He said, looking somewhat surprised at a huge hand answering the door. "Here's your pizza, um, 7 pepperoni, 5 extra cheese, 2 vegetarian, 2 meatball, and 1 w/ all the works. That comes to... $367.75. Cash or check?"
Crazy Hand pulled out his wallet from... somewhere... and then took out 3 hundreds, 3 twenties, 7 ones, and 3 quarters. The pizza boy's eyes widened, like he'd never seen so much money in one place, much less so much money that he was going to get.
"Thank you, sir." The Pizza Boy started to leave, then came back. "Sir, over at Dominoes we're hiring. I have to tell every person I deliver to, no matter how rich they are," he added sadly.
Crazy Hand laughed. "You think we're rich? Riiiiiiiight.... I'll tell the others, hang on." He yelled at the smashers that Dominoes was hiring, and a Pikachu clone rushed out. He threw on his Pizza Boy hat and smiled up at the hand.
The Pizza Boy, amazed, stood there. "He wants to work for us?"
Pizza Boy Pikachu nodded, and rushed into the car. Still laughing, Crazy Hand carried all of the pizzas back inside, where Master Hand still waited in his lawn chair.
The Pizza Boy pulled out of the driveway, and watched the mansion shrink into the distance in his rear view mirror. Beside him in the front seat, Pikachu was reading one of the Pizza Boy's most abundant porno magazines. Snatching the porno magazine, the boy pulled off onto the Nintendo World interstate ramp. He drove past Hyrule, and then through Onett where the crazy-ass drivers almost killed him, and then went through Altea where no one understood what he was saying when he asked for directions, and finally back to Lego Land and pulled in the Dominoes parking lot, in the parking space w/ the name "Pepper Roni" painted proudly on the cement block.
He hopped out and so did Pikachu. "What's your name?" Pikachu asked, flipping Pepper's newest Playboy magazine sideways to examine a centerfold.
Pepper rolled his eyes and took off the ugly Pizza Boy hat, revealing unruly red hair and a freckled face. "Pepper Roni. I live in Lego Land, and deliver pizzas for a living. I have fifty girlfriends and a bachelor room. All that, and I'm only 16."
Pikachu stared. "You don't have fifty girlfriends!! Roy looks exactly like you and he'd kill for one girlfriend!"
"Yeah... well..." Pepper grabbed a girl that was walking by. "This is... uhhh... Jenny and she's my first girlfriend ever!"
The girl gave him a dirty look and kicked him in the balls, and continued to walk into Dominoes.
Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Right."
Pepper forced himself to get up and went in, then handed the $367.75 to a pretty female cashier.
"Holy shit!" she exclaimed. "Those people must've been super rich!"
"Yeah. They gave me a new employee, too." Pepper lifted up Pikachu in order for the girl to examine him.
"Oh my word he is SO adorable!!" She took Pikachu and held him like a baby. "You're hired!!"
The rest of the workers all stopped what they were doing in order to coo over Pikachu. Pepper grumbled as he took a break, hoping a hot girl would order a pizza and then let him in her house so he could seduce her. His nuts either ached b/c he needed to get laid, bad, or b/c a girl in stiletto heels had just kicked him in the balls, or maybe a combination of both...
The girl set Pikachu off w/ her girlfriend for training, and then continued to take orders from customers. Pepper just laid his head on the table and waited for his miracle order to come. "Yo, Pepper! The bitch in Donkey Kong Country wants a pizza!!"
Pepper sighed, disgruntled. Candy was a monkey, but on the bright side, she was also a slut. Hopping up, he took the pizzas from the counter and trounced out to his car. He began the long drive through the hills of Ostia, and over many ugly roads in Donkey Kong Country.
Monkeys can't make roads worth fuck, Pepper thought angrily as he walked up to Candy's house. Before he had a chance to knock on the door, she pulled him inside.
"How much do I owe you, Pepper-Baby?" she wondered as she bounced up and down.
"Uhhhh...." Pepper tried not to watch her shaking monkey-tits as he looked at the total printed on the paper he was holding. "$10.00."
Candy looked around and saw her purse. She jogged over to it and rifled its contents madly, but found no money. After 5 minutes of searching her house, which was littered w/ used condoms, pictures of her boyfriend Donkey Kong, banana peels, and pizza boxes, she'd discovered that she had no money. Giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes he'd ever seen, Candy turned to Pepper. "I can't find any money! Can I take the pizza and pay you later, Pepper-Baby?"
Pepper stared at her. "I'll pay for it for you, but only if you-"
"...sleep w/ you?" Candy finished, sensing she knew where the conversation was headed.
Pepper stared more. He was going to say if she'd give him a piece of pizza, but sleeping w/ her was a way better deal. "Yeah."
Candy smiled as Pepper gave her the pizza and she set it down, and her grin widened as Pepper watched her get on her knees in front of him and unzip his jeans...
20 minutes later, Pepper came out of Candy's cabin, red hair even more mussed and sweaty than before and outfit more thrown on than before, not to mention a wide grin where there had been none. Glancing at his watch, he realized that he'd screwed Candy longer than he'd meant to, so he rushed to his car and screeched down the road as fast as his shitty car would go.
Finally he pulled into Dominoes and bounded inside. Trying not to look suspicious, he pulled a ten out of his pocket and gave it to the pretty girl. She looked at him critically.
"You sure were gone long!" she complained.
"I got... lost," Pepper explained.
"You take pizzas to her at least 3 times a week."
"Uhhh... I decided to take a different route there."
"But we already experimented and found out that route's the quickest."
"I wanted to make sure."
"Where'd you 'get lost?'"
"In Ostia."
"Ahh, I see. Those people don't speak English worth a monkey fuck."
Pepper nearly fell over b/c her choice of words suggested that she knew, and a sly wink confirmed that.
She leaned in to whisper something in his ear: "Next time, don't let her suck you off for so long. Freddie said last time he fucked her she must've given him a 10-minute blow job."
Pepper nodded, she had taken her time nursing his sore dick, but he hadn't minded, and went back to moping at the table. Pikachu busted in the door, chattering loudly.
"I delivered my first pizza!!" he said proudly, holding the pizza warmer in the air triumphantly.
"Great! How wonderful!! We always celebrate first deliveries w/ a party!!" the girl said, and rushed off to prepare a special pizza party.
Pepper heard the Pokemon coming near him. "When does work end? I am so fucking sick of those girls going crazy over me!" Pikachu asked.
Pepper looked at the clock for answers. "In a few minutes. But we'll have to stay after for the party."
"NOOOOOO!!!" Pikachu bashed his head on the nearest object, hoping to cause some damage so he could go home. "Must....inflict....bodily.....harm..."
Weirded out, Pepper turned away and watched the clock tick.
TAAAAAAAAAAAADDAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was SO fucking fun to write!!!!! that last part... Pepper Roni having sex w/ a monkey..... sorry, I was SOOOOOOOO HORNY!!!!! And Pepper does exist. I don't know if he's 16, but it made sense. Candy is the sparsely dressed girlfriend of DK from Donkey Kong 64 who calls everyone "Baby," even Tiny, which made my horndog guy friends think like, Candy's a lesbian! The pretty cashier girl is a lesbian, I meant girlfriend literally.
I also am getting over the stupid flu that is going a round. And school got canceled 3 FREAKING TIMES IN A ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's so funny. Next time you're watchin' the news, listen to the weather up in the New England states. Even for my gay-ass state, that is FUCKING COLD!!!! Another reason why it's so funny is b/c I more or less told my science teacher I wanted them!!! Story, it's funny:
In the last period of the day, science, when I was so sick my voice sounded like a cross between a donkey and an elephant and an ostrich going through puberty being tortured by an electric stick, w/ a cold, I was having a severe coughing fit. After I coughed about 37 times straight, my science teacher said, "Jeez, is there anything I can do for you?" and I said, "A few days off would be nice!" Haa. The next day was Tuesday and it wasn't canceled, but Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all were!! I spent those days typing this story most aggressively, cuz I haven't touched it since Christmas.... heh heh...
*next chappy is gonna be typed when this typing is done. now :)*