Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 21

Chapter 1: Unbearable

Remy LeBeau was angry. Anger wasn't an emotion that was strange to Remy LeBeau, throughout his life he'd always had something to be angry about, whether it be his fathers discipline in thieving, the people who'd betrayed him in his life, or the things he wanted but could never seem to obtain.

But this anger was a different kind of anger, it was mixed between hatred and understanding, and the fact that he was in two minds about the situation left him helpless, distressed and confused.

He had been following Rogue around all week – or rather, Carol Danvers, as the persona of Carol Danvers had taken over Rogue completely, leaving no one with any clues as to how Rogue's own persona was, or how this situation could be put right. In the meantime, the Professor had suggested 'waiting' until the answer presented itself, Remy felt the Professor might be hoping that Carol would get bored and give up the body, but she didn't seem to be doing so.

Remy had followed Carol everywhere, from bars, to nightclubs, from boutiques to malls. The days had passed, but Carol's energy never seemed to falter, and Remy had begun to tire of this constant tracking. Sure, his training as a Thief, and an X-Man, had included quite a bit of tracking. But sometimes it was hard to keep track of a woman who could fly, and that was Carol's favourite method of transportation.

Tonight, found Remy in yet another nightclub, this had been the fourth one Carol had visited within seven days, and Remy wondered how much longer it would be before she tired of this busy lifestyle she'd created for herself already. He watched her from a distance, he was up on a balcony overlooking the dancefloor of the nightclub, the music was so loud that Remy could feel the vibrations through the floor of the balcony, and beneath his fingers on the railing.

Remy remembered one part of his life being fond of such places such as this, but tonight, he was so disenchanted by it. The music was giving him a headache, the alcohol he'd been buying on the second storey did nothing to soothe his rattled nerves, or his worries about Rogue.

Remy found it appalling the way Carol was dressing as well, the smallest tightest things she seemed to be able to find, the shortest skirts, that seemed to leave nothing to the imagination, and it was a wonder how she'd managed to remain in such crowded places without ever having been touched and caused an accidental trigger on Rogue's powers.

I want Rogue back, Remy thought sadly, he remained in the shadows, swigging his cold beer and thinking of how horrified Rogue would even be if she could see the clothes Carol had put on her body. Rogue's dress was much more conservative when she was at the mansion, and for dates, she would dress in styles that were flattering, sexy, but not overly revealing, and Remy had admired that greatly. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd rather see Rogue's body covered up than hardly covered at all.

Remy had to ask himself why he was following Carol at all. She had attitude, and powers, she wasn't exactly in danger of not being able to handle herself should a problem arise.

So why are you here? He asked of himself, he leaned on the banister, his beer bottle dangling from his fingertips. Because you're hoping that Rogue might just resurface at any time, that's why. If she did, and found herself here, you know she'd panic, being so…exposed…around so many people, these kind of places make her nervous…

Remy frowned, realising perhaps that was why Carol liked these kinds of places, it was one place that Rogue wouldn't want to be. Sure, when Rogue had been younger, she'd spent time at Asylum, a gothic nightclub in downtown Bayville, but she'd always been fully clothed and protected in case anyone should brush up against her, this was different.

He supposed he shouldn't complain even to himself too much about the nightclub, anywhere else was better than being back at the mansion right now. Even though he was one of the team, Bobby Drake was still there, giving him attitude, and dirty looks every time they were in the same room together.

That man wants me dead, Remy thought jadedly, but why? What did I EVER do to him? He wondered.

And then there was Betsy Braddock – she as well did not favour his presence, but seemed to be tolerating it although he never felt safe around her and always felt as if she were probing his mind every time they were in the same room, he was uncomfortable and would rather avoid her at all costs. The sooner they found out where sinister was hiding out and the sooner they killed him, the easier things would be, then Betsy could leave, and Remy could be free to think as he pleased again.

Remy sighed and lit up a cigarette, right now, he wished he were dead.

Kitty Pryde and Piotr Rasputin were returning from a date. It was a clear night, the air was remarkably warmer than it had been the previous month. Kitty felt her rose pink pashmina fall off her shoulders and a soft caress of warm air brush against the bare skin uncovered by her strapless dress as she was stepping up to the back door to slip her key into the lock.

Piotr tenderly took hold of the pashmina and placed it over her shoulders again, he said nothing, but there was something in the tender way he did so that suggested to Kitty that this night might be the night.

Kitty turned and looked at him curiously, he looked relaxed and happy, his cornflower blue eyes were glittering in the porch light, his expression was soft, and comforting. She smiled a little, "I had a great time," she unlocked the door and slipped through the threshold with Piotr tailing behind her, she closed the door behind him and locked it again.

"I had a great time too," Piotr admitted, "I have not had so much fun in a lifetime as I have had with you since we began to date," he added thoughtfully.

Kitty nodded, and headed up the stairs, she heard him walking behind her, his footsteps heavy on the stairs.

"I shall walk you to your bedroom," he declared.

Kitty agreed with this, although she felt it might not be a good idea to let it go beyond that – not that she didn't want to of course. Kitty Pryde had been dreaming about the night that Piotr might abandon all his control and just take her in ways she felt that no other man would ever be able to. But those dreams had been before finding out she was pregnant. She'd done some thinking, but she'd hardly kept track of her life during the time period in which she'd slept with Ryan Bloom and she could only put the date of conception sometime between the end of February and the start of march. It was now almost May.

Kitty was aware that she needed to tell Piotr somehow about this pregnancy, the trouble was every time she tried the words would stick in her throat and she'd say something else. But it was unfair to him to stay in a relationship with him until he knew the truth. Sooner or later, Kitty felt she was going to have to tell him, because she feared it might not be long before the signs start showing themselves.

It had been a hard week for Kitty Pryde. She'd been attending the danger room, but had been constantly panicking that something bad might happen that she'd been performing quite badly in her team, and even Ororo was beginning to suspect something was wrong. Kitty was worried about being hit, and causing a miscarriage.

I don't even know if I WANT this baby, Kitty thought, and she felt cruel for the thought of it. She'd always been against abortion, but now she was beginning to understand why so many girls her age who ended up accidentally pregnant would favour the idea. Kitty had spent a lot of time this week thinking what kind of life this would be to bring a baby into – living with the X-Men, all these powers, especially the unstable powers of the students. And then there was her reputation, how would it look for an unwed mother – a teacher – to have a child? Kitty couldn't bare to think about it any longer.

"Kitty?" Piotr asked, they'd approached her bedroom door some moments ago and she had been standing there still for some time. He placed his hand upon her arm, "is everything alright?"

Kitty blinked, "oh…huh? Oh, right, sorry," she smiled nervously, "I was in a daze there, I was trying to remember if I left the iron on in the laundry room," Kitty lied, "I probably didn't, I mean, hey, if I had, one of the students would have noticed when they went to put their dirty uniforms in the basket in there…" she sucked in her breath, she wanted to find a way to let him down without letting him down far too much.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be with him, it just didn't seem fair to him to lead him on further when she didn't know if there would be a future with him after he found out about this child to some other man.

Kitty could not find anything to say, but before she could, Piotr spoke.

"It is late, I guess," Piotr ran his fingers up her arms suggestively, looking at her, it was almost a pleading expression, but at the same time, not too desperate. "Everyone else is asleep…" he added, almost suggestively.

Kitty wished she didn't have to deal with this right now, she almost wished she and Piotr had never gotten together in the first place. She didn't want to hurt him, and at the same time, she didn't want to lose him either. It was hard keeping up the excuses to cover up this dirty little secret she had from him.

Piotr looked at her, waiting for some kind of response, but she just seemed very apprehensive. He seemed confused, and slightly hurt at this.

"It's not that I don't want to…" Kitty said softly, she sighed, "I'm just…really tired, I have a lot of work to do tomorrow…" she reached up and brushed the backs of her fingers against his cheek, "and it's just too soon…I want it to be…absolutely perfect."

"I felt…the time was right…" Piotr trailed off.

"It is, it's just me, I'm a little off, it's probably stress, no big deal right?" Kitty explained quickly, she felt tension building, his expression seemed even more sombre.

"Kitty…are you changing your mind about us being together?" Piotr asked, "Because…if you are…" he glanced away completely saddened, his eyes misted over, showing his emotion as if his eyes were windows to his soul.

"No, no," Kitty said even more quickly, she placed both hands on his head so that he would look straight at her, "I would never change my mind about you. You are the one thing in my life I am ABSOLUTELY sure about," she admitted, "I don't want to lose you," she murmured.

"I do not want to lose you either," Piotr responded softly.

"Then believe me, this isn't about you, its about me, I'm just not ready, okay?" Kitty asked, "It's only been…what…a month? A month and a half?" she asked softly, "I don't want to rush into this…besides, we have…the rest of our lives?"

He smiled, believing her, "alright."