Revelations and Goodbyes
She couldn't believe her ears. She didn't believe them. How, after two
years of being apart and after she just walked out on him when he needed
her could he have forgiven her? This was the last thing she had expected.
She watched him as he hugged her little girl. They had always been so
close. She loved to watch the change that over came Grissom when he was
around Lindsey. She'd missed that. In fact she had missed 'this'. She
missed her friends and family; Sara, Nick, Warrick and even Greg. She
missed working as a team with them, she missed the way their faces lit up
when they found evidence or solved a case. But she realised now that what
she missed most of all was Him. That last thought scared her. How was she
ever going to make it the way it used to be. They had probably all moved
on with their lives. Sara and Nick had, why wouldn't Grissom? Perhaps her
coming was not such a good idea after all. She should have stayed back in
Miami instead of coming back to her 'old' friends and her old home.
"So Cath, what did you have to do to get some time off?" Sara interrupted
her reveres
"Well, I just reminded myself how much you guys mean to me and how I just
wouldn't forgive myself if I missed your big day, and then I warned my boss
that if I didn't get the time off I would just quit." She replied with
half the truth. She really had told her boss that she was going to take
time off, but they had threatened her with immediate dismissal if she did
leave, so she handed in her badge and gun right there and left for good.
"Ahh, they couldn't bare to lose you, ay, Cath? Thought they'd better just
give you the time off." Greg added, his voice held the familiar excitement
she had nearly forgotten.
"Something like that." She mumbled as she turned quickly away from them.
The others took that as an end to that line of conversation. Grissom
however didn't. Placing Lindsey down on the floor and turning to face
Catherine he questioned her about her comment.
"What do you mean 'something like that'? What exactly happened?" He spoke
calmly but his voice held the authoritative tone, he used when she was
working with him.
Not wanting to go into the details and point out that she was now
unemployed, she let the anger of hearing his tone, fill her and disguise
what she truly felt.
"What does it matter to you, what exactly happened? I got some time off,
that's all that you need to know. I don't work for you anymore so stop
acting like you're my superior!" She paused as she let her words sink in.
She regretted what she had said as soon as it had left her mouth. It
wasn't his fault that she wasn't working for him of anyone else for that
matter. It wasn't his fault that she had not seen him for 2 years. It was
her fault.
"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." She looked around at the
group as she spoke. Each face showed the same expression of surprise and
sadness. "I should probably leave. I shouldn't of come. I've been gone
far too long for me to just come back." Turning to face Sara and Nick she
said;
"I hope you and Nick have a great life together and find in each other the
love and respect you each deserve. And Warrick, maybe you'll be the next
wedding, or maybe it will be Greg's." She smiled slightly at the
embarrassment that flashed across Greg's face. But as she turned to face
Grissom once again the smile faded. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for
everything. More than you will ever know. Oh, and if any of you feel like
moving to Miami there is a job going as head of night shift, I'm sure any
of you could do it better than I did." With that she turned picked up
Lindsey, who started crying and reaching towards Grissom, and started to
head towards the doors through which she had entered.
"Wait."
Grissom surprised them all by calling after her. She turned at the sound
of his voice. Her eyes glistening with tears. Again the room fell silent,
even Lindsey stopped crying and looked at Grissom. While the others
glanced from Catherine to Grissom and back again. Waiting for what was
next to come.
"You can't just leave again. Not after coming back. Not without saying
goodbye. Not again. Do you know what it was like after you left? You
didn't even speak to Nick, Sara, Warrick or Greg. You just wrote them
letters, as if that was going to make up for leaving. It didn't."
She had been silent throughout Grissom's speech. Silent tears slipping
down her cheeks. But now she spoke, releasing everything she had felt when
she had left, everything she had tried to forget while she was gone.
"Did you ever think what is was like for me? You kept pushing me away.
You weren't there when I needed you the most. Eddies death affected me
more than I let on. If you hadn't been so busy ignoring me you might have
noticed. Even after the explosion you weren't there. Do you know how much
it hurts to be pushed away by the one person you thought would always be
there, to be ignored by the one person you care about more than anything in
the world? Because that's why I left. Yes I did feel guilty about the
explosion but I could have gotten through that if you had been there, but
you weren't, so I left. I thought it was the best. I thought that I would
be able to move on. And the way I had been around you, I thought it would
be better for the rest of you to forget about me, to move on and..." She
placed Lindsey down on the floor, who ran straight to Grissom. Catherine
wiped away the tears and looking at the floor, she continued. " And, find
love and have the life I couldn't have. Which you did. I'm sorry if I
hurt you. I didn't mean to. It was wrong of me, I know that now. But it
is too late. I don't care if you all hate me; I hate myself for what I
did. Have a great day tomorrow. Lindsey lets go." She reached out to the
little girl, but Lindsey only clung harder onto Grissom's leg.
"I don't want to go again. I want to stay here with Uncle Gil." Her voice
was pleading, and tears were beginning to fill her little eyes.
Catherine laughed. It wasn't her usual laugh full of happiness, the laugh
that made her eyes dance and filled everyone around her smile. It was an
ironic laugh, full of sadness, regret and remorse.
"I guess I hurt more people than I thought." She said when she had
finished laughing.
Grissom, with one hand stroking the top of Lindsey's head, spoke quietly,
but his voice was full of regret and sadness.
"Maybe it's not all your fault."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
I am sooo sorry it took sooo long. I was decorating, which takes ages!
Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Thanx, and I promise
that if I get some reviews I will update sooner than last time.
- Lindsey Grissom -
She couldn't believe her ears. She didn't believe them. How, after two
years of being apart and after she just walked out on him when he needed
her could he have forgiven her? This was the last thing she had expected.
She watched him as he hugged her little girl. They had always been so
close. She loved to watch the change that over came Grissom when he was
around Lindsey. She'd missed that. In fact she had missed 'this'. She
missed her friends and family; Sara, Nick, Warrick and even Greg. She
missed working as a team with them, she missed the way their faces lit up
when they found evidence or solved a case. But she realised now that what
she missed most of all was Him. That last thought scared her. How was she
ever going to make it the way it used to be. They had probably all moved
on with their lives. Sara and Nick had, why wouldn't Grissom? Perhaps her
coming was not such a good idea after all. She should have stayed back in
Miami instead of coming back to her 'old' friends and her old home.
"So Cath, what did you have to do to get some time off?" Sara interrupted
her reveres
"Well, I just reminded myself how much you guys mean to me and how I just
wouldn't forgive myself if I missed your big day, and then I warned my boss
that if I didn't get the time off I would just quit." She replied with
half the truth. She really had told her boss that she was going to take
time off, but they had threatened her with immediate dismissal if she did
leave, so she handed in her badge and gun right there and left for good.
"Ahh, they couldn't bare to lose you, ay, Cath? Thought they'd better just
give you the time off." Greg added, his voice held the familiar excitement
she had nearly forgotten.
"Something like that." She mumbled as she turned quickly away from them.
The others took that as an end to that line of conversation. Grissom
however didn't. Placing Lindsey down on the floor and turning to face
Catherine he questioned her about her comment.
"What do you mean 'something like that'? What exactly happened?" He spoke
calmly but his voice held the authoritative tone, he used when she was
working with him.
Not wanting to go into the details and point out that she was now
unemployed, she let the anger of hearing his tone, fill her and disguise
what she truly felt.
"What does it matter to you, what exactly happened? I got some time off,
that's all that you need to know. I don't work for you anymore so stop
acting like you're my superior!" She paused as she let her words sink in.
She regretted what she had said as soon as it had left her mouth. It
wasn't his fault that she wasn't working for him of anyone else for that
matter. It wasn't his fault that she had not seen him for 2 years. It was
her fault.
"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." She looked around at the
group as she spoke. Each face showed the same expression of surprise and
sadness. "I should probably leave. I shouldn't of come. I've been gone
far too long for me to just come back." Turning to face Sara and Nick she
said;
"I hope you and Nick have a great life together and find in each other the
love and respect you each deserve. And Warrick, maybe you'll be the next
wedding, or maybe it will be Greg's." She smiled slightly at the
embarrassment that flashed across Greg's face. But as she turned to face
Grissom once again the smile faded. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for
everything. More than you will ever know. Oh, and if any of you feel like
moving to Miami there is a job going as head of night shift, I'm sure any
of you could do it better than I did." With that she turned picked up
Lindsey, who started crying and reaching towards Grissom, and started to
head towards the doors through which she had entered.
"Wait."
Grissom surprised them all by calling after her. She turned at the sound
of his voice. Her eyes glistening with tears. Again the room fell silent,
even Lindsey stopped crying and looked at Grissom. While the others
glanced from Catherine to Grissom and back again. Waiting for what was
next to come.
"You can't just leave again. Not after coming back. Not without saying
goodbye. Not again. Do you know what it was like after you left? You
didn't even speak to Nick, Sara, Warrick or Greg. You just wrote them
letters, as if that was going to make up for leaving. It didn't."
She had been silent throughout Grissom's speech. Silent tears slipping
down her cheeks. But now she spoke, releasing everything she had felt when
she had left, everything she had tried to forget while she was gone.
"Did you ever think what is was like for me? You kept pushing me away.
You weren't there when I needed you the most. Eddies death affected me
more than I let on. If you hadn't been so busy ignoring me you might have
noticed. Even after the explosion you weren't there. Do you know how much
it hurts to be pushed away by the one person you thought would always be
there, to be ignored by the one person you care about more than anything in
the world? Because that's why I left. Yes I did feel guilty about the
explosion but I could have gotten through that if you had been there, but
you weren't, so I left. I thought it was the best. I thought that I would
be able to move on. And the way I had been around you, I thought it would
be better for the rest of you to forget about me, to move on and..." She
placed Lindsey down on the floor, who ran straight to Grissom. Catherine
wiped away the tears and looking at the floor, she continued. " And, find
love and have the life I couldn't have. Which you did. I'm sorry if I
hurt you. I didn't mean to. It was wrong of me, I know that now. But it
is too late. I don't care if you all hate me; I hate myself for what I
did. Have a great day tomorrow. Lindsey lets go." She reached out to the
little girl, but Lindsey only clung harder onto Grissom's leg.
"I don't want to go again. I want to stay here with Uncle Gil." Her voice
was pleading, and tears were beginning to fill her little eyes.
Catherine laughed. It wasn't her usual laugh full of happiness, the laugh
that made her eyes dance and filled everyone around her smile. It was an
ironic laugh, full of sadness, regret and remorse.
"I guess I hurt more people than I thought." She said when she had
finished laughing.
Grissom, with one hand stroking the top of Lindsey's head, spoke quietly,
but his voice was full of regret and sadness.
"Maybe it's not all your fault."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
I am sooo sorry it took sooo long. I was decorating, which takes ages!
Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Thanx, and I promise
that if I get some reviews I will update sooner than last time.
- Lindsey Grissom -