Ten Months

by Orrymain

It's that time! Jack and Daniel start their family! Witness it all, from the insemination through those first crazy weeks when they come home from the hospital!

4. Chapter Four

====

--Chapter Four: We Have a Little Problem!

====

"Sylvia says everything is fine, guys. Calm down."

"Sorry, Kayla, I guess we're just ... jittery or something," Daniel said, sipping his coffee.

"You're going to be a basket case if you don't settle down. And Jack, I'm not going to let you do that mother hen thing to me that you do with Daniel, so don't even think about it!"

"Mother hen? Moi?"

"Nice try, Jack, but Daniel has told me too many stories, not to mention the things Janet's described."

"Janet exaggerates."

"I'll be sure to tell her you said that."

"Ouch!" Jack flinched as he spoke. "I'm glad I'm retired."

"She'd get you with one of those long needles, Jack," Daniel said laughing.

"Don't remind me. I remember one time ..."

The rest of the night was spent back in time, as Jack, Daniel and Kayla visited, sharing moments from their pasts as they continued to get to know one another better.

====

"You've GOT to be kidding me, Joel. This couldn't possibly be true!"

Sylvia was speaking with Doctor Joel Sumneers who ran the Clinic Sylvia was using for Jack's and Daniel's surrogacy needs. She consulted at the clinic frequently, and Joel was a close friend. He was responsible, more dedicated than most physicians in this day and age, and he prided himself on hiring staff that valued good work and patients more than jobs and salaries.

She had office space at the clinic, and knew the staff very well. She had never known of any instance of incompetence, complacency, or just plain carelessness. So, when Joel gave her the shocking news, Sylvia was stunned.

"I don't know what to say, Sylvia. I've talked to everyone involved, and apparently, it happened just the way I told you. Janeel feels just awful and is thinking about quitting. I've been on the phone with her off and on all day."

"She's a wonderful nurse. We can't afford to lose her, but Joel, this is serious. The repercussions to those involved are ... reprehensible. I know that sounds extreme, but what do I say to these people?"

"We'll take full responsibility. We have to do whatever they want. I know it's not much, but I've already contacted the lawyers to be prepared, and to instruct them that we will not shirk responsibility for our mistake."

"They aren't going to sue, Joel. They won't care about that." Sylvia looked again at the report. "You're sure? I mean, there couldn't be a mistake here?"

"No, I ran it three times myself, and had two others start from scratch. We've studied the samples and the inventory. There's no mistake, Syl. I'm sorry. Refund their money, and the next one is on us. It's not enough, but it's all we can do."

"Do you want me to talk with Janeel?"

"Like you said, she's a good nurse, and what happened shouldn't have, but it was an honest mistake."

"Joel, how do we prevent this from happening again?"

"We're having a meeting this week to discuss that. You'll have the memo on that by tomorrow afternoon. Obviously, we need a few additional steps in our process, and we need to look into temporary solutions for when things get a little too hectic around here. It's not enough for us to say it only gets that busy once a year. That's once a year too often if we don't have a plan on how to handle it effectively."

"Thank you, Joel, for letting me know so quickly. I'll make the call."

"Give them my number if you'd like."

Sylvia nodded and sat down in her chair, shaking her head. She was numb from the news. Of course, it could be worse, but still, she knew it would be a shock.

Not wanting to prolong the agony, Sylvia picked up the phone, dialed an outside extension, and made an appointment for 7:30 p.m. that night. ====

"Do you miss it?" Daniel asked Jack as they drove up to the gates of the Cheyenne Mountain Complex.

They were meeting Sam and Teal'c for lunch. Since they'd left, their two former teammates had been busy, and all had realized just how much they missed their team get-togethers, so when Sam called with the invitation, the Jackson-O'Neills had jumped at the chance for a short reunion.

"A little," Jack answered truthfully as he reached over and squeezed Daniel's thigh. "But I like this more -- being free to be ourselves. Not risking our lives against snakeheads every day. Living our dreams. What about you?"

"I miss the discovery of it all," Daniel responded. He could see that Jack was worried the archaeologist was regretting their retirement and hastened to reassure the older man. "But, Jack, the discovery of new artifacts doesn't compare to the excitement and challenges we have now. We're going to be parents!"

Jack grinned. He loved seeing Daniel so happy and excited. While the younger man still had bouts of anxiety about their upcoming parenthood status, he also radiated enthusiasm, excitement, and joy.

"Good Morning, General, Doctor Jackson."

The guard at the gate nodded to the two as they drove into the parking area of the SGC. Once they were out of sight, he immediately picked up the phone.

"Colonel Carter? ... They just drove in ... You're welcome ... Thank you, Colonel. I'd appreciate that."

The Airman smiled as he returned to his normal position, happy to know that a piece of the surprise would be waiting for him when he went off-duty.

====

Jack and Daniel made their way to Sam's lab, but finding it empty, decided to go straight to the commissary, figuring they were to meet her there.

"Maybe we misunderstood."

"Or maybe Carter got hungry. You know how she gets when she wants a steak."

Daniel laughed, remembering the tremendous appetites they had all had while wearing the unique armbands the Tok'ra Anise had affixed to them as an experiment years earlier. The devices had affected their ability to think rationally as well, resulting in a covert visit to a local restaurant that had ended with a fight after a man mocked Daniel.

"That wasn't just her idea, Jack. As I recall, you brought up steak."

"But she thought of O'Malley's ... and you didn't exactly argue either."

"I was hungry."

The two were still laughing as they approached the mess area and entered.

"Attention!"

Jack looked in shock as he saw the room full of people, now all standing at attention.

"Oh wow," Daniel responded.

"Carter, what's going on?"

"Uh, Jack ..." Daniel nudged his lover. "The salute."

"Oh." The retired General did a salute. "Carter, didn't I tell you I was only going to say 'at ease' once?"

"Yes, Sir, and you didn't say it now either, Sir."

Sam looked pleased with herself. The room was decorated with a banner that read "We Miss You" and another one that said "Happy Retirement." Tables were adorned with finger sandwiches, fruits, and snack foods, and there was a large bowl of punch.

"O'Neill. DanielJackson. It is custom for the Tau'ri to celebrate days of retirement. This is your celebration."

"Thank you, Teal'c," Daniel said.

"We're a little behind schedule with the party, but every time we planned it, either we got sent off-world or you guys had something come up."

"Oh, gawd," Daniel reacted shyly, remembering how they had cancelled out on lunch two weeks ago, only because they had become distracted -- by each other in what had turned out to be an all day love fest.

"Danny," Jack whispered, "stop turning red. They'll know."

"Know what, Sir?"

Sam's eyes had a shine to them, and her smile seemed to be a bit smug. Jack knew she knew and decided to ignore it.

The party commenced. Just about all of their SGC friends made their way down to the commissary during the celebration to at least say hello and wish the couple well, and other acquaintances came to offer their best wishes, too. Some, of course, stayed away, disapproving and ignorant.

Jack and Daniel enjoyed the luncheon delights and visiting with their former colleagues, reliving old missions, and talking about the future.

"May I have your attention please," Major General George Hammond called out, the room quickly quieting.

"While we're on duty and can't enjoy champagne, we'll have to make due with this ..."

At Hammond's nod, Sergeant Davis led three of the mess hall workers into the area, each holding trays of glasses full of drink. Jack assumed it was more punch, or maybe something like Martinelli's.

"General," Davis held out the tray. Jack reached for a glass. "Uh, no, Sir, one of the ones on the right." Jack's eyebrows raised, but who was he to argue? He picked up a glass, and Daniel did the same. "Enjoy, Sirs."

Jack watched Davis passing out his tray, seemingly very selective of who got the drinks on the right. Jack looked at his drink, and grinned.

Why you old goat!

"As we all know, General Jackson-O'Neill doesn't like speeches," Hammond began.

He said your name, Jack. I mean ...

I know. Pretty amazing man -- General Hammond.

Hammond was one of a few that had known of their intention to legally change their names. It wasn't a secret; they just hadn't publicized it because it wasn't yet legal.

"So we're going to make this short, with only a few hundred short speeches from his closest friends."

"Ouch!" Jack responded, earning some laughter in the room.

"Let me start by saying that it was my good fortune to have someone like Jack O'Neill as my 2IC. He wasn't the usual second, but he certainly made the job entertaining." More laughter broke out. "And what can I say about Doctor Jackson-O'Neill?"

Jack, as much as I love it, he shouldn't be doing that, not here. He's risking his pension.

Who's going to tell? He's giving us a present, Love. Let's just enjoy it and not make a big deal out of it.

"As someone once said, Daniel made this place happen. None of us would be here without his dedication and capabilities to see things that most of us couldn't even imagine before being assigned to the Stargate program."

Hammond raised his glass to the couple, and others followed suit.

"To Retired Brigadier General Jackson-O'Neill, a colorful yet dependable 2IC, and a loyal and trusted friend ... and to Retired Doctor Jackson-O'Neill, a caring, compassionate, and intelligent soul who led the way for all of us, and someone I consider it an honor to know and call my friend. Happy retirement, Jack and Daniel."

Jack's eyes bulged, as did Daniel who worked hard to stifle a cough from the strong drink.

This is so not punch.

Definitely not, Jack.

Sam smiled, enjoying the reactions as she sipped her drink.

Carter was in on it.

Jack, you do think General Hammond knows? I mean, she wouldn't ...

No way. Hammond knows. Look at that smug expression on his face.

For the next thirty minutes, Jack and Daniel were toasted by some of their friends, although it sometimes felt like a roast.

"I remember when Jack led the way, setting an example for all of us. He was gung-ho. Not a one would be left behind. Nope, not a single Simpsons comic book remained in the store that day."

"You're just sore because I got them first, Lou," Jack shouted out at Lou Ferretti.

"I knew DanielJackson would not let us down. He would say the words that would make the inhabitants understand our presence on their world. I observed him as he considered the proper translation. When he started to open his mouth, I knew we would be freed. Then, he sneezed, and sneezed again. I had been unaware that sneezing was a language."

"Well, we did get out of there, Teal'c. It's not like I sneezed all day."

"That is correct, DanielJackson. You sneezed only for twelve minutes and twenty-nine seconds before the inhabitants escorted us to their Stargate and ordered us never to return."

Jack laughed, earning him a punch to the abdomen.

"We never did go back there," Daniel lamented.

"You want to? I'm sure Hammond ..." Daniel's glare cut off his soulmate. "I guess not," Jack said to the room, more laughter spreading.

Onward it went, the good-natured ribbing indicative of the warmth felt for the two men, until finally, it was time for most of the SGC personnel to return to their duties.

"Thank you, Sir, not just for the privilege of working with you, but for what you said today."

"Son, you're missed around here."

"Just Daniel, General?" Jack asked as he joined the conversation.

"I'll get back to you on that," Hammond teased. "You know, Jack, if I hadn't already been bald when we met, I certainly would have been by now."

"Thank you, Sir," Jack boasted, bouncing on the balls of his feet, a smug expression on his face. Hammond just laughed, and then Jack echoed his husband's sentiments. "Seriously, Sir, thank you ... for everything." The trio shook hands, and then Hammond left. "Carter, you did good," Jack said as he and Daniel approached the blonde Colonel.

"Uh, Sir, an Airman will driving you and Daniel home, and I'll be driving the Silver Fox, if that's okay, Daniel." She saw the question in their faces. "That was, uh," Sam looked around the room, "good stuff, wasn't it, Sir?" she asked, motioning at the drinks.

Jack considered arguing, but his 2IC was correct. Both he and Daniel had enjoyed the party and lots of whatever it was they'd been drinking.

"That's why you insisted I drive my car," Daniel said, finally catching on.

Sam had often driven Daniel's car. He was much freer and tolerant of other driver's than Jack was with his truck. Sam shrugged in answer.

Soon, they were at the Jackson-O'Neill home. Sam handed over the keys to Daniel, who hugged her. Jack looked uncomfortable.

"Oh, come on, Jack. She's just Sam."

"Thanks. I think."

Jack laughed and hugged their friend, thanking her for the surprise. The couple stood, arms wrapped around each other's waists as they watched her drive off with the Airman.

"I was a great party," Jack said.

"It was nice, Jack. I wasn't expecting that."

"Me, either." They walked to the door, unlocking it. "We'd better take a little nap before dinner."

"Oh yeah, Sylvia's visit. I hope nothing's wrong."

"She would have told us," Jack insisted.

"I guess you're right." ====

"I'm a little early. Traffic wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"No problem, Sylvia. Daniel's upstairs, lost in some artifact or something. Have a seat, and I'll go get him."

"Thanks, Jack."

Jack headed for the stairs, but paused and turned back to look at his friend.

"Syl, is everything okay? The baby?"

"The baby's fine, Jack. So is Kayla."

"Okay," Jack said, but yet he stood in place for several seconds, almost biting his lip, before heading upstairs.

The couple had taken a nap after returning from the Mountain, then had a nice dinner, reminiscing about the party and the roasting comments they'd received. It had been a fun visit with old friends. After dinner, Daniel had gone to the den to study an artifact sent to him by a friend wanting an opinion about its origin, and Jack had been watching television.

"Danny?"

"Hmmm?" Daniel responded, without looking up.

"Something's wrong."

Daniel quickly put down the artifact, almost dropping it, and practically jumped up from his chair.

"What?"

"I don't know, but Sylvia's here."

"Already? She's not supposed to be here for another forty-five minutes."

"Yeah, said traffic wasn't bad. She says the baby's fine, Kayla, too, but ..."

"...something's wrong," both said softly.

Jack raised his hand to caress Daniel's right cheek.

"Remember, Love, no matter what, we're together, and when we're together ..."

"... we're unbeatable."

"You got that right!"

Daniel leaned into Jack for a moment, needing some reassurance.

"Come on, Angel, let's go face ... whatever."

Slowly, the two walked to the living room, where Daniel greeted their guest. They exchanged a few pleasantries and a brief bit of small talk, but the doctor could see the enormous worry on Daniel's face and the growing anxiety in Jack's voice and expression, and decided to stop evading the reason for her visit and get directly to the point.

"Jack. Daniel. There's a little problem. Believe me, the baby is fine. Let me assure you that there really is nothing wrong with the baby, or with Kayla. In fact, she's doing extremely well. Her only potential problem was a couple weeks ago. I thought she might have been a bit diabetic. We gave her a glucose test, and she was borderline. We did a follow-up test, and she passed with flying colors. Nevertheless, we'll continue to monitor her blood sugar and glucose levels as a precaution. So, again, everything's fine."

Daniel was sitting on the arm of Jack's favorite chair, Jack holding his hand as he sat in the chair. Sylvia saw Jack's grip was tight. She also saw the worry in both their eyes. She hated that they were feeling so anxious. What had happened was a horrible mix-up, but it wasn't the end of the world, and it could have been worse.

"There was a mix-up at the Clinic on the second day that Kayla was inseminated."

"WHAT?" Jack sprang forward in his chair, releasing Daniel's hand. Daniel said nothing, simply staring at Sylvia. "What kind of mix-up, Syl?"

"Doctor Sumneers brought it to my attention today. He does several internal audits per year, on his own. I told you about him when we talked about clinics. He goes way beyond what is required, guys. So, anyway, this past week they did an audit. A mistake was found, and Doctor Sumneers had it checked and verified several times to make sure of the error. He's already talked with the staff and determined exactly what happened."

"AND WHAT DID HAPPEN?"

"Calm down, Jack. This isn't as bad as you think. Just let me explain from the top. I know how you are. You like details, and I'm going to give them to you as fully as I can, but you're going to have to listen."

"I'm listening," Jack said in a strained voice, his eyes dark in anger, even though he didn't yet know what the problem was.

Daniel hadn't moved or spoken. Sylvia tried to make eye contact with him, but it was like Daniel was looking right through her.

"Okay, let me take you back, and I'll give you the blow by blow. As you recall, Kayla was inseminated the first time using the fresh sample you provided, Daniel. As per our discussions, and normal procedures, she came in again ten days later. This was a bit earlier than planned, but there was some scheduling conflict with Kayla, as I recall. This is apparently what happened when Kayla did come in for her second visit.

Flashback - Day of Kayla's Second Insemination/
"Good afternoon. Can I help you?"

"I'm Kayla Armentrout. I'm supposed to have my second ... treatment today."

"Oh yes. I'm Susan. Have a seat, and I'll get Doctor Preston for you." Before Susan could move, the phone rang. "It's a zoo here today," she said before answering.

She put that call on hold, and before finally getting up to find Sylvia, Susan had answered four more calls, answered a question for another nurse, and dealt with two other patients who had walked in.

"I'm sorry about that. I'll be right back."

Kayla sat calmly, reading an issue of Parenthood Magazine, grateful she was only giving birth and wouldn't have to deal with all the issues involved in raising a child.

"Kayla, how's it going?" Sylvia asked.

"Just fine."

"Come to my office, and we'll chat for a few minutes, and then if all's well, we'll go ahead with the next procedure."

"Sure thing."

Walking to Sylvia's office, Kayla could hear the buzz of the busy facility. The phone was ringing non-stop. People were coming in and out, not just patients, but salesmen and distributors, and people walking in off the street with questions. She heard the sounds of the hard-working staff as they reached Sylvia's office.

"Carol, get the Zemekis chart, please." "I will in a moment, Chris. I have to get these specimens to Doctor King first." "Nancy, can you do it?" "My hands are full, Chris, and Doctor Rivers just paged me. Sorry." "Doctor Morrison, the Peterson's sperm has arrived. No, not Jared. First name is Rod ... P-e-t-e-r-s-o-n. O-n, not E-n. Right. I'll bring it right in."

Emerging from Sylvia's office several minutes later, both women were smiling, chatting about France, where both had visited previously.

"Doctor Preston, Doctor Sumneers is on line four and says it's urgent."

"Thanks, Susan. Please take Kayla to Lab 2 and get her ready, and get the specimen ready."

"Yes, Doctor Preston."

Sylvia returned to her office to take the call as Susan led Kayla to the appropriate room.

"This place is really jumping today," Kayla said, as she witnessed all the activity.

"It's not normally like this. I think someone must have made some scheduling mistakes or something. It's crazy," the nurse laughed.

Having done her duties with Kayla, Susan was about to get the appropriate specimen from its storage place when she was interrupted.

"Susan, Chris says she needs you right away. There's an emergency with Doctor Morrison's patient."

"Okay, Janeel. Listen, I need you to grab the specimen for this patient."

"Susan, we need you," a shout came from another area.

Susan hurriedly made her way down the hall, when she heard Janeel call after her.

"Susan, there's no chart. What's the name?"

"Daniel Jackson-O'Neill," the nurse shouted amid ringing phones and a clash of files that had just fallen to the floor from someone bumping into a desk.

Janeel smiled apologetically at Kayla.

"It'll just be a few more minutes. I'll be back shortly."

"No problem," Kayla laughed, happy that she was not a nurse.

Janeel entered the area where the specimens were kept, searching for the one she needed. Normally, they used numbers, but when it wasn't an anonymous donation, they didn't always worry about it, and names were included with the numbers as a precautionary backup.

"Iverson ... Jabowski ... Jackson-O'Neill ... there you are ... oh, there you are twice."

Realizing there were two sperm samples, Janeel started to take a closer look until she was distracted.

"Janeel, as soon as your finished, Doctor King wants you to assist. Pronto, Janeel."

"Yes, Ma'am," Janeel responded to Abigail Pointer.

Abigail was the Head Nurse of the facility, and Janeel was the most recent hire. She had only been working at the clinic two months and had earned high praise, but she still felt vulnerable and was feeling her way towards job approval and peer acceptance.

Wanting to please her supervisor by acting speedily, Janeel quickly reached her hand up behind her, grabbing the sample without looking at it except to verify that it said "Jackson-O'Neill."

The insemination took place as planned, and when she was finished with Doctor King, Janeel made all the proper notations on the chart and made sure the inventory was properly in place before moving on to her next task.
End of Flashback

"Sylvia, what are you saying?"

"Jack, Janeel didn't check the first names, and without the chart, she didn't have the number to cross-check with. She reached up in the area where she had been looking and grabbed the specimen. When Doctor Sumneers ran the inventory, yours came up short, and Daniel's came up with a surplus."

"Syl, I'm known for being thick-headed, so please, English, and slowly," Jack said both sarcastically and anxiously.

"When Kayla was inseminated the first time, it was with Daniel's sperm, but the second visit ... it was your sperm, Jack."

Daniel looked down at the carpet. It was the first time he had moved. Quietly, he stood and walked to the patio door, and with his arms folded, he looked out at the darkness.

Jack leaned forward, outrage on his face.

"WHO'S THE BLASTED FATHER OF THE BABY?"

"Jack ..."

"NO, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN." Jack had risen, pacing angrily. "You said this place was the best."

"They are, Jack. I explained what happened."

"WHO'S THE FATHER?"

"I don't know."

"Sweet!"

Jack ran his fingers through his hair in disgust.

"This doesn't have to be a crisis, guys. Listen, we can do a DNA test. I know it's inconvenient, but if you absolutely have to know this second, we can arrange it."

"THEN DO IT, BLAST IT!"

"Jack, please listen. We can do it, if that's what you want ..."

"... BUT?" Jack asked, the veins bulging in his neck.

"But doing DNA tests during pregnancy can cause a miscarriage. We can do it after the baby's born with no risk at all, and then you'll know, and you can proceed with your plans."

Jack picked up a newspaper that was on the table, and making sure the beagles weren't in the house, he slammed it down to the ground, needing a release of some kind. Daniel was still staring out the window.

"I understand your being upset, but it's not the end of the world. You're having a baby, Jack," looking over towards the window, "Daniel, do you hear me?"

Daniel turned, giving her a small, sad nod.

"It's ineptitude. This was supposed to be fool-proof," Jack argued angrily, his voice still raised above normal.

Sylvia stood. She was upset about the mistake, but she was also frustrated by Jack's and Daniel's reactions, not that it wasn't to be expected. She had just hoped they'd see that the mistake wasn't the end of their world.

"You two are having a baby. Do you know how miraculous that is? Okay, so maybe, and I repeat MAYBE, the baby is Jack's and not yours, Daniel. So what? You get to make the next one. Isn't what you two want two healthy, happy babies? One would have your genes, Daniel, and the other yours, Jack? Does it really matter who goes first? Does it? I would like to put forth that if you think it does, then just maybe you'd better rethink your priorities."

Sylvia picked up her coat and put it on.

"We can talk about this some more later. Doctor Sumneers is ready to do anything to make up for the error. The nurse in question says she's quitting. She's a good nurse, gentlemen. She made a mistake, on the craziest day the clinic has ever had. Now, that's regrettable, but it's far from being tragic. Oh, and you'll be receiving a refund. This baby, and the next one, should you two so-called rational human beings decide you can handle parenthood, is on the house. Good night."

Sylvia fled in haste, leaving Jack standing in a huff, and Daniel numb at the patio door. She felt horrible, and maybe she shouldn't have been so defensive, but she was human, too, and right now she was disappointed with everyone involved.

She also felt guilty. She'd expected Jack to be outraged, but she'd also expected Daniel to accept the mix up philosophically. Now she realized how unfair that had been. Daniel, more than anyone, had a right to be upset and disappointed.

Sylvia toyed with the idea of going back and apologizing for her parting comments, but then she decided it would be better to give the two a chance to come to terms with the news. She made a note in her daily planner to call the couple in a day or two.

Inside the house, Jack looked at Daniel, who said only, "I'm going for a walk, and I'd like to be alone ... just for a while."

Jack watched his husband walk out the door, and looked around for something to punch, but there was nothing, so he did something he had never done before, he screamed as loud as he could at the empty house. In fact, he screamed out his frustration and anger for a solid five minutes. When he calmed, he looked and saw Bijou and Katie staring at him in wonder. They were at the door.

Jack let the girls in, and picked both up, carrying them to the sofa. He lay down, keeping both on top of him.

"We've had a bad night, girls, and Danny's upset, and to be honest, I'm angry. Be patient with us for the next couple of days ... and ... stay close, okay. I think we're both going to need some of those kisses."

Katie lay down, stretched out lengthwise, her nose almost at Jack's chin. Bijou curled up against Jack's arm, and gave him a kiss, and then made sure she was as close as she could be. Jack smiled.

"I knew I could count on you two."

====

Jack awoke some time later, surprised he had fallen asleep. The girls were securely in place just as they had been when they all had relaxed on the sofa. Jack gently woke them, moving them off the furniture. He looked around for Daniel, wondering why he wasn't home. Then he looked at his watch. It was 11 p.m. Jack was about to panic when Bijou ran to the patio door.

Jack noticed it had been unlocked.

"How'd he do that?"

"Woof!"

"Yeah, I know. I trained him well. Sometimes, I regret it. He's gotten way to good at this stealth business."

Jack climbed up to the roof. Daniel was sitting Indian-style right in front of the railing. His elbows were on his knees, his head buried in his hands.

Jack sat down a bit behind him, gently rubbing his back.

"Syl's right, you know. We're having a baby."

"I know. It's okay. It was just a surprise. I'll be fine tomorrow. I promise."

"Danny, I don't want you to be 'fine' because I know what your definition of 'fine' is, and it's not happy."

"It's okay, Jack. Like Sylvia said, it's not a big deal. So the first one is yours. That's what I wanted originally, anyway. The next one will be mine. The main thing is that the baby is healthy."

Jack continued to rub Daniel's back, small, gentle caresses that pressed lightly and soothingly against his lover's back. He leaned forward and kissed Daniel's nape, and then he put his arms around him.

"What makes you think the baby is mine?"

"I just know, that's all."

They sat quietly for several minutes, Jack holding his husband, now massaging the tense muscles of his abdomen.

"Danny, I want you to do something for me."

"What?"

"For the next twenty-four hours, I want you to be angry."

Daniel looked back over his shoulder, stunned, "What?"

"You heard me. I want you to be angry. I mean, really angry. I want you to resent what has happened. I want you to yell at me, break some plates that we don't want anymore. I want you to feel sorry for yourself. For twenty-four hours, Love, I want you to let yourself feel and be all of that, and whatever other emotions you need to in order to process this and move on."

"That's crazy. There's no reason to be upset. You're making a big deal out of ... nothing."

"And that's a piece of crap," Jack insisted, every fiber of his being reading the signals that once again Daniel Jackson had been the butt of the universe's worst joke ever. "You don't think I know what's going through your mind? Danny, we're one heart and one soul, remember? What you feel, I feel. Everything you've thought, I have, too. Now, let it out, Danny. Let it all out, and then, day after tomorrow, we move forward."

"I can't," Daniel said softly.

"Yes, you can. Just ... feel. Tell me, Danny. Tell me how it feels to know that something that was certain, isn't now. Come on. Tell me."

Daniel's breathing was becoming labored. He was even more tense now than before, and Jack was holding on for their life and their future.

"Trust me, Danny. You can do it. You told me that ... that you want our children to stand up for themselves, to be able to express their needs and wants. Didn't you say that?"

"Yes."

"Okay, practice what you preach. How does it feel?"

"Like ... woknena."

Jack chuckled lightly, but then spoke firmly, "Danny, Love, I don't even know what language you just spoke in, but I can guess the definition of the word. Try it in English. The world isn't going to fall in on us. I promise."

Daniel swallowed hard, shaking his head, desperate to maintain his control, but Jack kept on prodding him, over and over, and finally he shouted, "IT FEELS LIKE ... gawd, it just feels like crap."

Jack squeezed his lover wanting him to feel their link, and he leaned his chin on Daniel's shoulder.

"Well, at least it's English, but I know what you really mean. Tell me what you feel, what you're thinking."

"Why does it always happen like this? Why, Jack? No matter what I do, or how hard I try, nothing ever happens like it's supposed to. It's not fair. It's just not fair."

"Tell me, Love."

"My parents died ... in front of my eyes. Blood everywhere, and no one even noticed me, and when they did, they didn't care. They just let me sit there. And then they wouldn't let me see them, so all I remember is their bloodied bodies, crushed ... gawd," Daniel sobbed.

"Talk to me. You're just starting. Tell me."

"I tried. I did what I was told. I tried to fit in. I didn't cause problems. I swear I didn't. Gawd, I was like a tiny robot. I did whatever they told me when they told me to because I just wanted a home again.

"I ate what they gave me, which wasn't much. It was never pizza or ice cream. They hardly ever gave me something extra. Chocolate. Gawd , I love chocolate. It was almost like tasting it for the first time when I finally had some again in college.

"I tried not to get sick. Sick kids never stay. They get taken back and placed somewhere new. Always some place new.

"All I wanted was a family. They ... the other kids ... I just wanted to be their friend, but I was so scared. They laughed at me. Sometimes, it was because I wouldn't talk, or because I wore glasses, or I was smarter than they were. I didn't try to be smarter. Sometimes I tried ... tried to be ... not smart, but I didn't know how. They hated me. The foster kids ... my classmates.

"Why, Jack? I didn't want to stand out. It wasn't my fault the teachers treated me differently. I didn't do anything extra ... just my homework. Weren't we all supposed to do our home ... homework?" Daniel cried.

"Yeah, we were, but some of us were more diligent than others. Some of us, Danny, preferred to say our dogs ate our homework rather than admit we were playing War and not reading chapter three. Go on, Love. Tell me more. It's your turn. Come on."

"I tried not to rock the boat. I never asked for anything. Nothing. Never, not even when all the other kids would get things, for Christmas or birthdays. It was okay. I only wanted a home, but no one wanted me ... except as ... a punching bag ... or ... or ... oh gawd."

Daniel suddenly hunched over, his body trembling as he remembered, "I don't want to remember. Gawd, no!"

Jack closed his eyes. This was the one thing, Jack assumed, that Daniel had never fully discussed. They had always skirted around it. Daniel had said he would tell Jack one day, and Jack knew he would, but as their nation of two had strengthened, and Daniel had let go of his tragic childhood, this part of his past had slipped through the cracks.

"I love you, Danny. You're safe. You know that," Jack held his lover as best he could, the shaking and tears continuing.

Daniel nodded, his voice breaking, "Why me? I never did anything to them. I didn't take anything. Not even their parents." The tears were lessening as Daniel distanced himself from the unpleasant events. "No one loved me."

"Danny, I'm here. I'll protect you, forever. I'm here, right here. It's okay to remember because whatever happened is nothing but a memory from a long time ago, and it can't hurt you anymore. I love you, Angel."

Daniel turned his head to look at Jack. He had tried hard to block the memories of his past, especially these. In fact, he had convinced himself they weren't true, believing everything that had ever happened to him had been his own fault, that he had caused the pain somehow.

"I was lucky, Jack. I know kids who weren't. It could have been worse than it was. They didn't rape me, but they tried. Gawd, they tried. So many tried. Why, Jack? What is it about me that says 'victim' or ... I don't know what. Why?"

It was an impossible question to answer, but Jack had to try.

"It's your innocence. Even now, Love, you have that aura. It's ... geez, Danny, I guess it's like Anne Frank wrote ... you always try to find the good in people no matter what. Crap, I saw that myself with Apophis' host. I would have broken his neck, but there you were, mumbling about rites and statues or something. People see that, that you want to see the best in everyone, and they ... they make the mistake of thinking you're weak, that you won't fight back. They're wrong, and that's why they lose. I ... love ... you, My Angel."

"I was a little boy, Jack, and I had nothing anymore, and ..."

"I know, but now we're together. It can't hurt you anymore. We're unbeatable, right?"

Daniel began to shake some more, his head vehemently shaking 'no' as he seemed to fight some unwanted memory. He jerked forward, out of Jack's hold as he bowed down so that his head was on his knees.

Jack rubbed his back, trying to provide strength for his husband. It's not that he was particularly anxious to hear the sordid details, details he had envisioned in his mind years ago when he first made his assumption about what Daniel's childhood had been like, but this was their unexpected transition. It was time for Daniel to finally excise this ghost from his past, the one thing they hadn't talked about fully.

"I love you, Danny. You and I ... we're forever. What you're remembering ... Angel, it's over. It's history. Let's send it packing, huh? You can do it. I'm right here beside you, just like always."

Daniel let out a loud sniffle and straightened up. Jack again placed his arms around his lover's waist, reestablishing a bond that could never be broken. Jack kissed Daniel's nape as Daniel ran his hands across his eyes.

"The fourth home I was in ... I still wasn't talking, not much anyway. I was only ten-years-old. He ... gawd, he was supposed to be my father."

Jack paused his touches for a minute, unprepared for what Daniel had just said, but he continued quickly, listening carefully.

"Mrs. Clayton went to visit a friend in the hospital. She was going to be gone all day. I wanted to go outside, but he wouldn't let me. I didn't understand why, but I went to ... I guess it was my room. It was really just a corner in Mrs. Clayton's sewing room. I wanted to read, just read."

Jack heard Daniel distancing himself again, his tone becoming more stoic, emotionless.

"Mister Clayton came into the room and closed the door. He ... he said my clothes were dirty, and we needed to wash them. I shook my head, but he kept telling me that it would be a surprise for his wife. It didn't make any sense to me, bbbb...but then, he reached down and he ..." Daniel's voice was distant, but Jack could hear his lover's thumping heart, and he could feel the rapid breathing, "... hhhe pushed my pants down, and he touched me ... he ... touched, rubbing ... he ... gawd."

Daniel was having difficulty talking as the memory resurfaced. He didn't want to see it, no matter what Jack said, but it was too late. The image was there, taunting his mind.

"I didn't like it. I didn't know what he was trying to ... to do ... I couldn't know ... Could I? I didn't know. He wanted me to do things, but I ran. I ... I kicked him, Jack, and I ran to the door and out of the house ... and I just ran until I couldn't run anymore."

"I'm so sorry, Angel," Jack said, knowing that was only the beginning of Daniel's nightmare.

"They found me, two days later. I was still hiding."

"Where'd you hide?"

"I don't know ... some ... alley. New York has a lot of alleys. I just picked one and stayed there. When the policeman found me, I had my report card in my pocket. That's how they identified me because I ... I didn't want to tell them who I was. I didn't want to go back. But, I guess I was lucky because Mrs. Clayton said she didn't want to worry about some little runaway who didn't appreciate the home they were giving him. She said I was spoiled and rude. 'You ungrateful, spiteful, troublesome child'. That's what she said. I remember. She said it in front of the social worker and the policeman."

"Geez, Danny, I hope you know she's the one with the problem, and we won't even talk about her husband."

Daniel nodded, and suddenly he started rocking back and forth a little. "Don't ... no ... go 'way ... no, please no."

"What is it, Danny?"

"I ... I don't want to remember." The rocking increased. "I ... no ... I don't want to ... no ... don't make me."

"Danny, it's over. Remember, we're here, together."

"I couldn't help it. I tried. Oh gawd ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Daniel cried out, his agony ripping apart Jack's heart.

The cry had been a wail, a loud, agonizing wail, and Jack knew it was because of something more than a pedophile foster parent.

"I'm here, Danny."

"She was only six-years-old. She reminded me of an angel that I saw in a picture once."

She? Six? Oh gawd, Daniel. This is worse than I thought. "Who?"

"Carrie. Her name was Carrie. She was only six ... just six."

"What happened?"

Daniel looked down, still shaking his head. He repeated his desperate plea.

"I don't want to remember. Please ... no ... don't ... can't ..."

He hunched over as far as he could, his hands pressing against the side of his head as if wanting to block the memory from emerging.

I can't stand this. He's never been like this before. Maybe I'm wrong, and talking about it isn't going to help, not if it's hurting him so much. "Okay. Shhh. You don't have to, Danny."

Daniel's pain was too much for Jack. His lover was violently shaking in his arms more than he ever had before. Every muscle was quivering. The tears were flowing like a waterfall, and Daniel was rocking again slightly. His voice ... it scared Jack. There was a distance and a strangeness in the tone that Jack had never heard before from Daniel.

It reminded Jack of an incident in his own past, something he had experienced that he never wanted to think about. That kind of pain had to come out in its own time, not when beckoned.

"It's okay, Love. We'll just sit here for a while. No more remembering. I love you so much. We're going to make our dreams come true ... every one. Shhh, it's okay. It's okay."

Daniel suddenly let out a huge breath. He sat up, and his head went back, leaning against Jack's left shoulder. His moaning cries continued as he looked up at the stars. When he spoke next, his voice was so tiny that Jack had to strain to hear the words.

"I was ... gawd ..."

"Danny," Jack ran his left hand across Daniel's head, his fingers leafing through his hair, trying to calm him as he whispered quiet reassurances, "you don't have to remember."

Daniel continued on, ignoring Jack's words.

"Eight. I was eight-years-old. I wish we had been bro...brothers. That memory is so good, but it's not real. The reality ... it ... it's bad, Jack."

"Your parents died when you were eight."

Daniel nodded, his voice faint as he spoke, "It was the first home ... the first one."

Jack's hold on Daniel tightened. He considered maybe giving Daniel some space, except he realized Daniel's hands were gripping his arms. His husband wanted the contact, needed Jack's close proximity now more than ever before, so the older man stayed where he was.

"Jack? She ... she was six-years-old."

Daniel couldn't seem to get past that one little fact, and Jack wasn't sure now whether to let it go or press Daniel. He was confused and struggling to do what was best for his soulmate.

"She had a brother. He was seventeen. The parents ... they didn't care anymore about them than they did me. He was drunk most of the time, and she ... she was gone most of the time. The boy ... he was in some gang I think, or maybe he just associated with others just like him.

"One day, some friends of Jed's came over."

"Jed was the seventeen-year-old?"

"Yes. He was gone. She was gone. He was drunk. When wasn't he drunk? Carrie and I were in the basement. She was playing with her dolls. She loved her dolls. She would sing to them. Well, actually, it was more of a hum. She used to bring the dolls over to me and make me hold them. She would try to get me to talk, but I couldn't.

"She ... would laugh and say I was cute. She wanted to be around me. She was the only one besides Suzanna that mattered to me, and gawd, I wiped her out of my mind," Daniel said sadly.

"She'd understand."

"I don't. I haven't thought about her since ... since it happened. I pushed her out, buried her like she never existed. I don't understand why would I forget ... for...why ... gawd ..."

Daniel was struggling in some unseen tunnel between conscious memory and subconscious protection. He knew something had happened, but still wasn't sure what. Carrie. Sweet Carrie. Was she a phantom, or was she real? Even as he told Jack his memory, he wasn't sure.

Flashes of memory filled the young man's mind. Sensations of sight and sound flooded through his body, and none were pleasant.

"I was reading. I guess I read a lot. Jack ... she looked like Shirley Temple ... a little doll, in a little white dress with curly blonde hair.

"Jed's friends must have just walked in the house. They came down to the basement and ... gawd, no, it didn't happen. Tell me it didn't happen. It couldn't have. I ... no ... Jack ..."

Daniel was shaking again, and now he was sweating, too. The tears had moistened his entire face, his shirt collar dampened. His eyes were red and as he touched his lover, Jack could feel the warmth. Daniel's entire body was in rebellion against the memory.

"I'm holding you. You're safe."

"I was then, too," Daniel sobbed, the recollection no longer a shadow to him.

"One of them ... he grabbed her. She started to cry. I got up. They didn't see me until I got up. One of them held me. He made me watch. I tried ... I swear I tried, but I couldn't scream. I kicked and I hit ... but my voice ... I couldn't scream. Even if I could have, he had his hand over my mouth. But she did. Gawd, she screamed."

Jack felt his heart come up to his throat. He was anxious and rage was building inside of him. This nightmare should never have happened.

Kids. They were just kids.

"They raped her, Jack. And when they were done, they told me they'd come back and do it again if I said anything, and they told her the same thing. I didn't know what to do. When they left, Mister Gibson was still drunk. When Jed got home, he was ... acting weird. I think he was on drugs. Mrs. Gibson didn't come home until the next morning. Gawd, she saw Carrie's dirty white dress ... and the stains ..." Daniel began to laugh, a hysterical, ugly disbelieving laugh, "she yelled at Carrie for getting her dress dirty. She spanked her. I started to tell, to say something, but right then, Jed's friends showed up ... one of them had a knife, and he showed it to Carrie. Mrs. Gibson was so clueless. I was eight. I knew what he was doing. I should have said something. Gawd."

For one of the few times in his life, Jack truly didn't know what to say. This wasn't the nightmare he had anticipated, and he wasn't sure which was worse ... the truth or the one he had imagined.

"Those don't sound like parents to me. They shouldn't have had you, let alone their natural born children. How the heck did they get to be foster parents, anyway?"

"Jack, I was in so many homes. Theirs ... it was the worst, but not by much. I know there are some good people out there. Good foster parents, but they didn't get me."

Daniel held back the tears for himself. He would cry for Carrie, but not for himself.

"Danny, how much longer were you there after that?"

"Too long."

Daniel closed his eyes. Jack felt a chill run down his spine. He hadn't heard the worst yet.

"What happened?"

"They came back, Jack. I wasn't there. I was at school, but when I got home, Mister Gibson ... he was drunk again. Jed was so into drugs by then that he didn't know where he was, let alone what was happening around him. Mrs. Gibson was ... surprise ... gone. And Carrie ... Carrie ... after the first time, she just played with her doll quietly. She didn't hum anymore, and she ... she didn't talk to me. She just kept to herself, playing with her favorite doll.

"I don't know for sure what happened that day. I think they ... they raped her again, only ... she was a little girl. She couldn't handle it. She ... there was blood all around her. Blood. Like my parents. Blood everywhere."

"Danny," Jack asked with alarm, "are you saying that you ..."

"I found her," Daniel sobbed into Jack's neck as he turned his face into it, shifting his body slightly. "Jed's friends were leaving the house when I got home. They were grinning and laughing, saying things I didn't understand and didn't want to. Jed ... was just sitting there."

"Where, Love?"

"Steps ... at the top of the stairs. I couldn't see Carrie, so I went downstairs. Blood. I knew she was dead. Jed came downstairs and saw her. He thought she was playing. Can you imagine? Playing. He picked her up like he was going to dance with her. She just hung limp in his arms. That's when Mrs. Gibson got home. She screamed. I don't remember much after that. I just sat in the corner, and like before, everyone ignored me ... until Social Services took me away later that night. I never saw any of them again."

"Thank the Heavens for that," Jack said as his tight hold on Daniel continued.

"I blocked it out. I should have saved her, Jack. I should have told. I should have done something to stop them the first time," Daniel said as began to sob again.

"Daniel, you were eight. Eight, for crying out loud, and you had just seen your own parents get killed. You shouldn't have seen that, and you shouldn't have been in that home."

"But that doesn't absolve me, Jack. I didn't do anything."

"Exactly. You didn't do anything to deserve being in that place."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know that, but it's still true," Jack sighed, "Daniel, they were holding you. They were older, stronger, and maybe all on drugs. What did you think you could do?"

"She's dead, Jack!"

"I know, and I'm sorry. She shouldn't have been there either. Those two people didn't deserve to have children."

"I didn't do anything to help her."

Jack moved, suddenly going to kneel in front of his husband. He held his hands on Daniel's arms. It was a tight grip, and he made Daniel look at him.

"Look at me," Jack said forcefully, but Daniel shook his head, the pain too strong, the tears from the memory consuming him. Jack shook him, a fierce shake. "LOOK AT ME, DANIEL! RIGHT NOW!"

Daniel blinked several times, but he focused on Jack.

"Daniel, you were a young, innocent little boy, still living through your own nightmare. Those boys restrained you physically, and then they threatened you and that little girl. And Danny, even if you had said something, geez, the mother saw the proof in front of her eyes, and she still didn't want to see it. She wouldn't have believed you. This was not your fault. Do you hear me? There was nothing you could have done that would have saved that little girl's life."

"I could have told someone else."

"Do you think they would have believed you?"

Daniel collapsed forward into Jack's hold, weakened, drained, and emotionally spent. He answered, "No ... gawd, no."

He cried on, and his husband cried with him for a while. Then the younger man spoke again.

"I guess I knew what Mister Clayton was trying to do after all," Daniel admitted. "I knew what they all wanted. It happened again ... and again. People who were supposed to be brothers or ... gawd, fathers. I don't understand our world, Jack, a world were little girls are raped and murdered, or a world where little boys are nothing but ... prey for people who are supposed to protect them."

Jack took a deep breath and shook his head.

"I don't either, but what we have to do is make sure that those we touch never have to live through that kind of miserable ordeal."

"It's a sick world."

"No, Angel, there are just some mixed up, ignorant people, and I grant you, there are some plain evil ones out there, but Daniel, just look at us, where we are, and what we have. We're here. Look, Love. It's just you and me and the stars, and downstairs, we have our beautiful girls. It's just us. The past is a long, long time ago. It can't hurt us if we don't let it."

"How am I supposed to forget her again?"

"Maybe you aren't supposed to. Danny, we're about to start our family, so maybe there's a reason you needed to remember now. Don't ask me to know what that is ... unless just maybe it was the last piece of nasty pain that you needed to release to really be free of your past. Don't forget her, Love. Remember the pretty little girl who thought you were cute."

Daniel sighed. He was so tired, and yet, he felt like a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. Jack moved back to sit next to Daniel, his arm wrapping around his waist.

"Is there more?"

Daniel leaned his head against Jack's shoulder.

"You know what's funny?"

"Why do I think it's anything but funny?" Jack asked.

"Maybe because it's not. For years, somehow, I was always able to get away or fight off the ... men who tried to rape me, but the closest I came, before Hathor, of course, was a woman. Why, Jack? Why?"

Jack kissed Daniel's temple. He moved one hand up to warm his lover's face for a few moments. He wanted Daniel to feel warm, not cold, as he spoke, so Jack caressed him, trying to curb the still-falling teardrops.

"People are monsters sometimes. I wish I had answers for you."

"Me, too."

"You want to tell me?"

"It was surreal. I was graduating early, and there were exams and quizzes I had to take, and papers to fill out. I was the genius; gawd, sometimes, I just hate that. I wanted to be accepted for a special program that one of the professors ran off-campus. It was a real elite thing. I didn't care about the status. I just wanted to learn, and he was supposed to be the best in Ancient Cultures."

Daniel paused and looked at Jack.

"I just wanted to learn," he said earnestly. "That's all ... just ... wanted to learn. I like to study; I really do."

"I know, Danny."

Daniel held back a sniffle or two as he tried to continue.

"She was his wife. I had called his house to ask for an appointment, to bring him recommendations and convince him to let me in. I had talked to him before, and he was considering it, so I thought if I brought him the recs from some of my high school teachers, he might give me a chance. He wasn't home, but she said he would be and for me to come over, so I did, but when I got there, he was still gone."

Daniel's grip on Jack was still strong, his hands moving with Jack's as they tried to comfort him by touch.

"She was nuts, Jack. I could tell that from the moment she let me in the house and locked the door. The curtains were drawn. Her eyes were crazed. She had this knife she kept brandishing all around. I told her that I was going to leave. She kept saying things, that she wanted me, and it would be good. She'd ... teach me things. I told her no, and turned around. She shoved me, or tried to push me. I don't know what she was trying to do, but I hit my head against something when I fell, and it knocked me out for a minute. When I came to, she was taking off my pants. Gawd, I shoved her off me and ran ... again."

At this point, Jack was really wishing he hadn't retired. He needed a System Lord. Actually, he thought any Goa'uld would do. He just needed someone to kill. Daniel's past was full of monsters, and it was taking everything he had to remain calm and supportive.

Daniel twisted his body, his arms desperately going around Jack, his face completely buried into Jack's neck. He wished he hadn't remembered about Carrie and the professor's wife, the latter bringing on vivid memories of Hathor's rape. He was trembling again, trying not to cry anymore. He had cried enough for one night.

"Shhh. Love you so friggin' much. Danny, give me a list, and I'll find everyone who ever thought about hurting you, and I'll ... I'll give them all a symbiote for Christmas."

Daniel actually chuckled for a second, having expected Jack to threaten bloody murder. He realized that maybe for the first time, it wasn't Jack's anger ruling the older man, but rather his love. Finally, Daniel's needs were coming first. On this night, Daniel didn't need threats or promises of revenge. He needed Jack's love and acceptance.

"Jack? Paul Duncan."

"The man who stalked you a couple of years ago?"

Daniel nodded, then continued, "He tried to rape me in the library, but I got away."

"I remember when you told me about that."

"But ... I didn't tell you all of it because I didn't remember all of it. I didn't want to. He was so crazy ... demented, insane, crazy. He tracked me down one night after I quit the study group. He wanted me to do things to him. I tried to get him out of my apartment, but he wouldn't leave. He was drunk, and so strong. He beat me up, Jack ... gawd, it was bad. He used that knife on me. I couldn't fight him. I tried so hard."

"Danny," Jack spoke tentatively, "did he rape you?"

"He ... tied me to the bed. I was bleeding ... had cuts all over. Do you believe it? He cut off all my clothes. He was going to rape me ... gawd, he passed out. He was all ready for action, and he fell down right on top of me. I couldn't breathe. I was so scared. I didn't know what he was doing; what sick thing he had planned when he fell like that. I just knew he was going to rape me, but then I realized he hadn't moved."

"The knife was in his hand still. I had to try and get my hands out of the binds. It took hours. He was on me the whole time, but finally, I got out. I got dressed, packed up anything that mattered, and went to a shabby hotel. I couldn't afford anything else. I hid out for two weeks. Finally, he seemed to have disappeared, so I got a new apartment and went back to classes."

"He'll never hurt you again. He's long gone."

"I know." Daniel pressed himself even closer to Jack. "Hathor. She cut my hair."

"She's a popsicle now, Love. She can't touch you anymore, and hey, you save a lot on shampoo now."

Daniel chuckled just slightly, very briefly.

"Shyla. She tried. She wouldn't take no for an answer. I got so tired of pushing her away. She tried over and over again."

"Love you, Danny."

"That's why no matter how hard she tried, or tired I got, or how much that sarcophagus warped my mind, somehow, I kept saying no, because ... you loved me, and I couldn't lose you. I was so afraid of losing you."

"Daniel, listen to me. Even if she had ... succeeded, you would NOT have lost me. Tell me you know that."

"I do now. I ... I didn't then. We were new, Jack. I never thought you'd stay with me. I always knew you'd leave me sooner or later because everyone else always did."

"Oh, Angel," Jack said, not knowing what else to say. "I tell ya ... we were both insecure idiots."

"Why? I mean, I know I was but ..."

"I always knew you'd leave me when we got Sha're back. I never thought I was good enough for you. I was sure you'd leave me."

"Gawd, Jack. You were always everything I wanted."

"And you, too, more even."

Jack held Daniel for the next hour, whispering words of love and support. Daniel gave Jack all the details of the various attempts to violate his body, things he hadn't thought about in decades, things that suddenly needed to be released, and there were a lot of them.

The older man cringed knowing just how hard it had been for Daniel to simply survive childhood and adolescence. Yet, his nightmares didn't stop there. Daniel's stories went through college, almost up until he joined the Stargate program.

I don't understand. I just don't, Danny. Sick world to hurt a child like you. I'll never be able to comprehend it.

The memory of little Carrie had shaken Daniel's already rocky world. He had buried it in order to survive, always blaming himself for something that he had never really had any control over. And then, while he had usually gotten away safely from the others who threatened him during his childhood and adolescence, the incidents with the professor's wife and Paul Duncan had reinforced Daniel's withdrawal into himself.

Other episodes had been equally traumatic, Daniel forced to see or sometimes do things a child should never have had to deal with.

The result was a young man who had learned to hug himself, because no one else ever would. He was a man who wasn't afraid to fight for what he believed in, in part because he had nothing to lose, having already been laughed at and ignored. He couldn't be hurt any more than he already had been. People had treated the little boy Daniel like a cipher. He was nothing, zero ... except maybe a meal ticket.

He cried, as did Jack, still holding his husband firmly, and then they sat in silence for a while. Then, Jack kissed Daniel, a kiss so tender that Daniel almost dissolved into oblivion from the warmth of it.

As they sat now, Daniel's head rested on Jack's right shoulder, their hands caressing the other. Daniel was almost seated on Jack's lap, but it was sort of a half lap sitting, Daniel leaning back a bit into Jack's hold.

"Angel, that's the worst, right?" Daniel nodded. "But there's more. Tell me about your other pain. This is your day to be angry. It's ... an independence day. Be selfish ... for me. Tell me."

"Just once, Jack, I wish I'd win. College. I didn't try to be the stand out. I just ... did the homework, and I ..."

"...asked questions?"

"Lots of them. I didn't have any friends. Sarah and Steven. Now that was a joke. Sarah just wanted an 'in' with the professors, but she never really supported my work, and Steven wanted the power ... and Sarah. I just wanted a friend. Was that too much to ask?"

"No, it wasn't."

"It just doesn't matter anymore. I could list all my woes, up through that ridiculous lecture that ruined my reputation for good, but it just doesn't matter. I lost again."

"The baby is yours. I know it, Love. I feel it."

"It just needs to be healthy."

"Hey, I told you. Angry -- twenty-four hours."

"But ..."

"No, tell me, Danny. Tell me about your baby ... come on!"

"I wanted it to be mine. I wanted it to be yours at first, but you kept talking about it so much, and I started thinking about it, and I wanted to know those feelings you were talking about. I felt things ... I wanted to know I could really make a difference, to bring a life that matters into this crazy world. It was my turn, Jack. It was my turn for life to treat me fairly. Why? Why does a place like that make a mistake, their first mistake ever ... and it's with me? It's not fair ... it's ..."

Jack held Daniel, who ranted on for at least two more hours up on the roof. Anytime he stopped, Jack egged him on, never letting him out of his hold. Daniel had kept so much pent up inside him. It was something he had learned to do from the day his parents had died. Years of reinforcement that what he wanted or needed didn't matter had festered, hiding deep within his being until Jack drew it out, a little bit at a time.

There was anger over his parent's death, the shuffling about in the foster care system with families that didn't care about him and only thought of him as a way to bring in a few extra dollars, the attempted abuses, the Hathor rape, being laughed at by colleagues for ideas and theories that were right and yet never being able to say that, the lack of respect at the SGC, primarily in their early years. And there was always little Carrie, the sweet little girl who had died.

The list went on and on. Things Daniel had glossed over, rationalized, ignored, explained away, refused to think about, convinced himself were only nightmares ... but now, he was finally letting them out into the night, and Jack ... his Jack was chasing all the monsters away ... finally, and for good.

They eventually went to bed and slept for a few hours, and then Jack woke with an idea. Daniel's crying had been good, but Jack remembered the release he had gotten from his screams earlier in the night. He also knew the relief that came from a physical venting of frustration and other emotions.

Daniel had kept too much in for too many years. A few hours of crying and letting go wasn't enough. Jack recalled a time when Thor had needed him for a mission. Daniel had done something then, something to survive Jack's absence -- he had hit and stabbed a large plastic reproduction of a Roswell alien, one that looked exactly like Thor. The young man had felt guilty for doing it, but Jack had known that one thing had probably saved Daniel from doing something crazy. Now, Jack had a plan.

Grateful that the neighbors next door were on vacation, Jack got down some dishes they'd been intending to give away for quite a while. Though he knew some family could use them, he figured he'd give a check to the charity and put the plates to a more important use.

As Daniel continued to sleep, tossing and turning, still restless from it all, Jack called Sam. He didn't explain, just used an old code that said all it needed to: "Boonie Bear is safe, but in distress. I need you."

Sam arrived within twenty minutes, and as he opened the door, Jack handed her the leashes attached to two dogs ... Bijou and Katie.

"Carter, take them for a nice, long walk. Two hours, no, make it at least three ... minimum. I'll explain another day, but I really need them safely out of the house ... with someone they love for a little while."

Sam took the beagles without question, assuring Jack they'd be safe in her care. He had given them a hug before releasing them to Sam, and called after for them to not give Sam too difficult a time.

Jack went to the garage, and put together some boards. He took some old cloths and rags and used markers to color them, making faces or designs on each. He also found some balloons and darts and put them to use. When he was done, he took his handiwork to the backyard and placed it away from the house and the doghouse.

Next, Jack headed upstairs, and just as he walked in, Daniel began to scream from a nightmare. Jack woke him, and held him gently in his arms.

"Shhh, Angel. It's not real. It's not important anymore. You're with me now. I'll always protect you."

"...and drive the monsters away?"

Jack smiled. Every now and then, not often, little Danny came out. Daniel had suppressed his inner child, that sweet youth that had been taken advantage of in so many ways after the cover stone had fallen. Jack realized the appearance of that little boy, the fact that he felt safe enough to come out, was evidence of the tremendous trust that Daniel had in Jack.

"I've chased all the monsters away, Danny. They're all gone now. All that's left is us, and our family."

"Gone?"

"Gone. So you're safe, Angel, but we have to do something else now."

"What?"

"I've driven off the monsters, but you need to excise them from your mind, so that's what we're going to do."

Still trembling a little, Daniel pulled back from Jack's embrace.

"I don't understand."

"You will. Come on. Change into some nice warm sweats and meet me downstairs."

Jack kissed the man who was his heart and soul, and left the room. Daniel, as usual when Jack had some strange idea, had no clue what he was about to walk into, but one thing he had learned from the day he had first met his husband ... somehow, Jack always seemed to know what was best for Daniel, even when Daniel didn't, so, the little boy Danny and his adult protector Daniel did as instructed.

====

"You want me to what?" Daniel said as he stared at his husband in surprise, not that he was surprised at being surprised.

"See that red stick figure?" Daniel nodded. "That's the seventeen-year old -- Jed's friend, the first one. This is your revenge, Danny. It's time to let out the anger."

Seeing Daniel about to raise up his finger to protest, Jack ignored him.

"I don't want to hear about the kid's problems and how we have to have compassion, and all that stuff that makes you wonderful. Today, you release the pain. Today, you're still angry. Today, Daniel, you stand up for yourself and that little boy that you once were. Right now, Daniel, you tell that kid that he had no right to hurt Carrie or you. You tell him that you matter, that it wasn't your fault. Go on, the red one. Toss that old plate right in ole Red's groin. And you keep tossing plates or whatever is in these boxes until Red falls off that board. Do it, Daniel. Do it now!"

Daniel almost argued again, but then he decided to go along with his lover's scheme. What could it hurt to try what Jack said? Besides, Jack had obviously worked on this for a long time. The board was covered with strategically placed images, some of which Daniel easily recognized.

It only took three plates to destroy Red.

"I knew you had it in you. Okay, who's next?"

Daniel was breathing hard, just staring at the board.

"Okay, how about that one? Definitely not a favorite of mine either. Ah, don't give me that cool level-headed persona. Shyla's a witch. You know it, and I know it. Tomorrow, you can explain away her actions all you want to. Today, Danny, she's a manipulative, selfish, unfeeling witch who tried to rape you and who kept your lover and closest friends locked away, slaving in mines. You know which one she is on the board. Go on, Danny. Tell her ... tell her you're important, and she had no right to treat any of us the way she did."

"I ... GAWD, I HATE YOU!" Daniel shouted at a sock that Jack had attached a picture of the Wicked Witch from "The Wizard of Oz" to.

It took four plates, and one cup, but the sock was on the ground.

"How about that one next?"

Daniel didn't need any more encouragement. He was with the program now. In an hour, he had "killed" every old cup, plate, and saucer Jack had been able to find. In fact, seeing the venom spilling out from his husband, Jack had quietly gone inside and grabbed some of their newer dinnerware.

"So we go shopping," Jack had thought, secretly bringing their wares outside, knowing Daniel wasn't paying attention anymore to what he was throwing.

All that were left now were a few balloons that Jack had written names on. Daniel took the darts and threw the first one at the balloon labeled Kinsey, but the release wasn't enough. Jack watched his husband searching for something, and then Jack knew what he needed. He hurried to the garage and came back, Daniel still searching.

"Here, use this."

Daniel took it, pausing only momentarily to focus on Jack, and then with the baseball bat, Daniel beat the rest of the balloons to explosion, and even then, he didn't stop. He pounded the board with the bat until it began to fall apart. With a final mighty swing, the last piece of the board fell to the ground, as did Daniel, sobbing, holding his abdomen as he sat on his knees.

Jack rushed to his side, his arms shooting around Daniel in a flash.

"It's okay to be angry, Love. Don't you see? You don't have to protect the world. It's not your job to explain away the actions of others, not all the time. You're entitled to be angry, to be hurt. None of this was ever your fault, Danny. That little boy was abused and neglected time after time, but it wasn't his fault. He was a beautiful child, like Charlie, and no one had a right to hurt him. It's okay, Danny, to let that out, to admit it. It's your right, Daniel."

"I hate them. I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!" Daniel yelled at the top of his lungs until he thought he had lost his voice.

Then at a frantic pace, Daniel shot up out of Jack's range. He picked up broken pieces of the dishes and threw them against the broken board and the broken, frayed and crumbled representations Jack had made for all the ills of Daniel's past.

Jack had tried not to leave any pain off the board. There had been the violators of his body as well as certain foster care families he had heard horror stories about before. Jack included the professors and peers who had given Daniel grief over the years.

He also had representations for a variety of Goa'ulds and so-called human beings like Frank Simmons and Senator Kinsey who had treated Daniel badly on multiple occasions.

Even Nick, the grandfather in name only who had abandoned Daniel not once, but twice, was depicted on the board. And finally, there was a building that represented the clinic, the most recent pain in Daniel's life.

Jack watched his lover deplete his store of anger, finally sinking to the ground again. This time, Jack just held him, rocking him in his arms, saying nothing except how much he loved Daniel.

When he felt like Daniel was ready, Jack took him into the house, upstairs to their room. He kept his husband in his warm embrace as they snuggled on their bed, Daniel clinging to him.

"Monsters gone now?" the young man asked in a quivering, child-like voice.

"All gone now, Danny. It's just us now."

"Love you, Jack."

"And I love you."

When Daniel fell into an exhausted sleep thereafter, Jack went outside and cleaned the yard, packing up the broken dishes and the dismantled board. He made a careful sweep of the yard, needing to make sure it was safe for the beagles.

He finished only ten minutes before Sam returned.

"Exchange time," Jack said. "Bij, Katie, Danny needs you. Go upstairs."

Sensing something had been wrong all day, the girls didn't need to be told twice. They ran as quickly as they could to the bedroom.

Jack motioned towards the backyard, leading Sam to the pile of boxes he had there.

"I need you to get rid of these things. It's just broken dishes and some board, but I need it to be gone when Danny wakes up. Can you get rid of this stuff for me?"

"Yes, Sir."

Jack loaded the car with the boxes, and thanked Sam, but as he walked towards the house, she called out, "Sir? The baby?"

"The baby's fine. Kayla's fine. Tomorrow, Danny will be fine, too. Thank you ... Sam."

Jack turned and walked into the house.

Sam knew there was more to the story, and that they'd tell her eventually, but right now, she was simply grateful that the baby was apparently okay. She got into her car and headed for the nearest dump.

Upstairs, Jack saw Bijou look up when he entered the bedroom. She was seated at the edge of the bed, not quite sure of what the danger was. Katie had cuddled up in a ball next to Daniel's left leg.

"It's okay, Bijou. It's not that kind of danger. He just needs you to love him, okay? Be close ... real close for a while."

Bijou gave out a tiny whine. It wasn't a whine for her, but almost a little cry for Daniel. She walked over near Katie, and settled in next to Daniel.

Jack looked down for a second, and then back at their girls, always amazed at the perceptiveness of their dogs. He took off his shoes and scooted in next to Daniel, wrapping his right arm securely around Daniel's chest.

"I love you, Danny," Jack whispered, laying his head next to his husband's shoulder.

It was two hours later when Daniel awoke, feeling Jack's hold on him immediately. Daniel also felt Bijou and Katie guarding his left side.

"Surrounded by love," Daniel said softly.

"Danny?" Jack asked, groggily.

"I've got you on one side, and Bij and Katie on the other. Can't move."

"You want to?"

"No, not ever."

Jack put his head back down, and Daniel shifted slightly, moving his arm to cradle Jack's head. Daniel kissed Jack's forehead.

"Thank you, Jack."

"I didn't do anything."

"You felt my pain and helped me get rid of it."

"Did you?"

"Yes, I think so. I just ... the baby ... I counted on it, you know? For once, I had decided I'd do something for me, and it sort of blew up in my face, and it ... hurt."

"It's your baby, Danny. I know it."

"If it is, that's ... good, but if it's not, then it's still good because we'll have our child, and then, we'll have another, just like we planned anyway."

"Yes, we will."

"Jack?"

"Yes, Angel?"

"You know what's weird?"

"Tell me."

"It really doesn't hurt anymore. Even though I had blocked so much of it out for so long, it didn't hurt to remember like I thought it would ... except for Carrie. It's just ... I was angry that no matter what, something always seems to go wrong in my life. My parents ... Carrie ... Hathor ... the pain ... whatever was left, it's gone now."

"Danny," Jack moved up to look into Daniel's eyes, "I hope it's gone, but if it's not, you have to tell me. We'll ... we'll blow up more balloons or get voodoo dolls or something next time, but don't keep it inside. Let it out, Love. Trust me to help you, and trust yourself, because you're important. Geez, Daniel, you are the most important part of my life. Do you understand, Love, that you matter?"

"I didn't ... for a long time. I just felt like ... like nothing. I always thought it was my fault."

"An eight-year-old boy? A little boy who only asked to be loved? How was anything that happened to that sweet child your fault? Or a college genius, whose only mistake was to not protect himself from predators, mainly because my genius always sees the good, even in the bad? How is it wrong to try and see good, Danny?"

"You love me?"

"Oh yeah, more than ever."

"Then, I don't need anything else, because all I've ever needed was your love, Jack."

A few minutes passed as the lovers held each other, softly and gently.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Love?"

"It doesn't matter to you ... what ... happened to me ... I mean ... gawd, I can't talk."

"Relax. We have forever, remember?"

"All those people ... the ones who tried ... Hathor ... the ones who made me do things sometimes before I got away ... does it ... I mean ..."

Jack raised himself, looking deeply into Daniel's eyes. With his right hand, he touched Daniel's cheek. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Daniel's.

"It matters. It matters that people tried to hurt you ... that they did hurt you. It matters a helluva lot that there are insensitive, ignorant, spiteful people out there who would harm a defenseless child, or take advantage of someone for no reason other than to get their jollies. Oh, it matters, but that wasn't your question, was it ... Space Monkey?"

Daniel shook his head, tears welling up again.

"No, Danny. There isn't a thing in the world that will ever take away from our marriage, or our love. Nothing will ever lessen our first night together, or the thousands of nights since then."

"But ..."

"Danny," Jack sighed, his own nasty past surfacing, "What about me?"

"You?"

"You know what happened in Iraq, in that hellhole they called a prison."

"It wasn't your fault. Gawd, you were sick and practically dead. You couldn't help what happened."

"No, I couldn't. With all my training and all my male machismo, I couldn't do anything to stop it. It wasn't my fault, and neither was it yours when those monsters abused you."

Daniel searched deep into Jack's eyes, wanting so much to believe, "But ..."

"No buts, Angel. Not even a bububububu," Jack said warmly. "Those people who tried to hurt you. Did you give them even a sliver of you?"

"No."

"Then all they did was try to take, and thankfully, they didn't get much, did they?"

"No, never ... except for Hathor."

"And on our first night together, my beautiful falling star, what did you give me?"

"Everything," a tear fell as Daniel whispered his answer.

"It's all the difference in the world. I love you so much."

Jack kissed Daniel again, a very tender kiss, a kiss that lead to more warm touches between the two.

"Jack?"

"Mmm?" Jack placed another kiss on Daniel's neck.

"We're going to have a baby."

"Yes, we are. Two of them eventually."

"They'll be beautiful babies. Healthy, that's all that matters."

"Yes, Love, it is," Jack said before delving in for another kiss, this one uniting their tongues.

Daniel's fingers calmly ran through Jack's silver-gray hair, and Daniel leaned up slightly to make contact with his spouse's lips again. Their arousal was fully ignited.

Suddenly, Daniel felt movement by his legs, and Jack felt the bed move a tad. Bijou let out a small "Woof," not at them, but at her baby. Katie looked up and the mama beagle pushed her with her nose, nudging her up. "Woof," Bijou said, a bit sternly this time. Katie stood up, jumped off the bed and went downstairs. Bijou shook herself for a moment and stretched and then jumped off the bed.

"Bij!" Jack called. The beagle stopped and turned around. "Thanks," Jack said, a loving smile on his face.

"Woof! Woof!" Bijou acknowledged, and went downstairs to join her puppy.

Daniel laughed as he said, "No one would believe this."

"I believe it."

"So do I. Love you so much, Jack."

"Of course you do. I'm extremely loveable!"

"And humble. Don't forget humble, Babe."

"Never."

Daniel's hands reached up to the top button on Jack's brown striped shirt. One by one, slowly, carefully, he undid the dark buttons, gazing into Jack's eyes with each progression.

"Love you," Jack whispered, biting Daniel's upper lip for a second as their kiss deepened.

Daniel moaned with the next kiss, his fingers moving to the next button on Jack's shirt.

"We should buy Monsters, Inc., Jack ... for the children."

"It's a good movie."

"It'll remind them that monsters aren't always scary."

"Them or you?"

Daniel slipped the shirt off Jack's shoulders, down his husband's arms, until it fell to the sheets.

"Both. Come here."

Daniel pulled Jack into a different position so that Jack was more fully on top of him, straddling the younger man.

"Come here," Daniel repeated, pulling Jack's lips to his.

"So demanding. You geeks think you rule the world with your brains."

"No, trust me, my Silver Fox, it has nothing to do with our brains."

Daniel's hands ran fluidly along Jack's back.

"I love you, Danny," Jack spoke, as they kissed.

This one began as a small uniting of their lips. Daniel bit softly on Jack's lower lip, and then his tongue slipped into Jack's mouth. Jack's quickly did the same. Their heads turned from side to side a couple of times as they sought to explore every part of the other's mouth, their tongues counting teeth and reaching for the other's tonsils.

"You like me to be demanding," Daniel sighed.

"I like you to realize that Daniel is just as important as any other creature you insist on protecting all the time. Geez, Daniel, how many times have you tossed yourself in front of some danger for someone who isn't a third of the man you are? We're having a family now. Don't you realize how much you're needed? No one can give this family what you can. So yes, I like you to be demanding, to tell me what you need and want. How many years did it take you to learn that, anyway?"

"Too many, but I'm not afraid anymore."

"Prove it."

"I want this," Daniel's hands slipped down, inside Jack's jeans as far as they could go as he kissed the older man again.

Jack pushed up Daniel's sweatshirt. When Daniel moved his arms to help take off the garment, Jack began placing a sweet trail of kisses all over the younger's man chest, in no set pattern, just one here, and one there, surprising Daniel with each moist touch.

"You're such a tease, Love."

"And you love it."

"Sure of yourself, aren't you, General?"

"General? Left him back at the SGC. Gone for good," Jack said, smiling as Daniel unfastened the top button to Jack's jeans and then rubbed hard against the material, squeezing slightly through the denim material.

Jack groaned from the touch, and took a more devouring taste of Daniel's mouth.

"Geez, what you do to me."

"I haven't even started."

As Jack continued to kiss his love, Daniel unzipped his husband's jeans, and then slowly worked them as far down as he could get them with his hands. Not wanting to stop what Jack was doing, but desperate to remove all of Jack's clothing, Daniel used his knees and feet to push, shove and even kick off the underwear and jeans.

"Good. I'm expecting a lot from you, you know."

"Hmm, so many expectations," Daniel leaned forward, kissing Jack's neck, his hands currently playing in the field that was Jack's chest hairs, something that made Daniel very eager for other parts of his husband's anatomy.

"You're always 'up' for the challenge," Jack teased, lowering himself down Daniel's body, taking the young man's sweatpants and boxers with him, gliding both off along with his socks and shoes.

"Am I talented or what?" Jack laughed at his smooth action.

"More like lucky!"

"Oh, lucky, am I?" Jack moved back up, straddling Daniel and starting to tickle him, just slightly. Daniel giggled. "I love it when you do that."

"I don't giggle!"

Jack had a big grin his face, his hands sliding up and down Daniel's smooth chest, his thumb and fingers pressing inward just enough to get a response, a little sound of release from Daniel.

"I didn't say you giggled, but you just did."

"Did not."

"Did, too."

"I said I didn't."

"But I never said you did, so why would you say something that I never said you did in the first place? I mean, it's a bit defensive and ..."

Daniel squeezed Jack's shaft, causing Jack's eyes to widen and a moan to escape.

"Jack, who cares if I giggle?"

"Not me," Jack gasped as Daniel massaged Jack's length, stroking at a more rapid pace.

"You know, uh, Danny ... I ... groan ... sort of had ... moan ... plans for ... oh gawd ... that!"

"So do I."

Daniel flipped Jack over.

"Geez, I am a good teacher."

"Or maybe I'm just a good student."

"My genius!"

Daniel kissed his husband as his hand stroked the erection.

"Jack?"

"Right now, Danny, you can have anything you want."

Daniel laughed, "You're so easy."

"Well," Jack panted a little, "you have to admit that you have me by the ..."

"Jack! You're so bad."

"Gawd, I hope so," Jack teased, his hands moving to cup Daniel's face, to bring him down to a kiss.

"I like the General. I don't want him to go away all the time. I mean, sometimes we need him. He's ... very comforting to have around ... sometimes."

"I thought you wanted him gone. Didn't you say you didn't like him very much?"

"I know ... but not always. I ... was a little wrong about that," Daniel said as his hand worked quicker now.

Jack was practically drooling from the sensation of the touch. Daniel's hand moved like a fingers on a keyboard, smooth, tender, with the chords getting more and more dramatic as the music swelled. Finally, Jack moaned loudly and Daniel gave a final press. Jack came fully in the young man's hands.

"Oh geez, I love your hands. I love being an artifact."

"My favorite artifact," Daniel whispered, kissing Jack, and then without warning, inserting a finger inside of him.

"Oh geez," Jack exclaimed, his head shooting backwards, "you're full of surprises today."

"The General, Jack. Actually, he wasn't ... bad. It was the Colonel, but ... he, the Colonel, got us through so much. He just sometimes acted without thinking, and that's when I didn't like him. It had little to do with conscious choices, it was just that ... robotic aspect that drove me crazy."

"Sorry 'bout ... oh yes ... that. It was all those ... wow, Danny ... years of ... love you ... training."

Daniel had prepared his lover with his fingers and now, slowly entered him. He remained still at first, as their bodies joined. Jack's hands roved Daniel's sides, up and down, and then his back. He was eager to feel Daniel deep inside him.

"Come on, Danny. Whatcha' waiting for? An invitation?"

"Hmm ... an invite? Is it black tie?"

Jack moved his hands to reach Daniel's buttocks and squeeze, causing Daniel to release a noise from his throat.

"It's a ... bare essentials invite," Jack said.

Daniel began to move a little.

"Well, in that case."

"But it requires ... going deep," Jack said.

"Everything in time."

Daniel moved a bit quicker, but not much.

"Tease."

"I learned from the best," the young man laughed.

"So did I."

Jack grinned, suddenly shoving Daniel into him, not wanting to wait any longer.

"JACK!"

Jack groaned from the sudden deep impact of Daniel's length against his prostate.

"Move it, Daniel. Need you. Demanding ... gonna be demanding ... like you!"

"And," Daniel moved faster inside Jack, "I'll be ... grunt ... possessive like ... deep breath ... you!"

"Danny ... gawd ... yes!"

The conversation was finally ceasing as Daniel thrust into his husband. Each thrust was like lava in a volcano, the volcano pulsating more and more, preparing to erupt.

Daniel was moving back and forth, in and out of Jack, changing positions.

"Don't ... do .. that!" Jack whined, hating the loss of contact any time Daniel shifted. Daniel impaled himself into Jack again. "Dan ... ny ... Love ... need you!"

"Mine ... you're so ... mine, Jack!"

Jack arched, giving Daniel as much room to work in as he could, and Daniel took full advantage. His hands clung to the sheets around Jack's head. Jack's hands were digging into Daniel's skin on his shoulders. Their hips were in motion together, rocking at a high speed.

"Healthy ... all ... that matters!" Daniel grunted as he powered into Jack with another thrust.

"The only thing ... both of them! There! Gawd, right there!" Jack shouted when Daniel hit the perfect spot.

Accommodating his husband, Daniel focused hard on the location. He drove himself into Jack. The older man screamed Daniel's name repeatedly. He sat up little. It seemed to help Daniel hit the one spot Jack was ripe for.

Daniel grunted, hard sounds, as he worked feverishly. The sweat was rolling from his body. Daniel jammed his length into Jack over and over, plunging in as far as he could go. With one last forceful lunge, Daniel propelled himself against Jack's prostate.

Jack screamed loudly, and then Daniel found just a bit more within himself. He paused a brief moment, and then in a blistering moment, frantically jabbed his length against Jack four more times, each move pushing him more to an edge he had never reached. The last downward drive ended with Daniel shouting out Jack's name, coming inside him, his orgasm filling his shivering body to convulsions.

Jack was panting, trying to catch his breath. Daniel was gasping for air.

"Breathe ... Breathe," Jack ordered.

"Oh gawd," Daniel said, his torso flat against Jack's.

"Love you, Angel."

"Love ... always."

The two fell back to sleep, Daniel's pain a forgotten nightmare, their focus once again on their nation of two, and their new family.

====

The next day, Jack and Daniel spent a cozy morning together, sleeping in late, having a leisurely breakfast, and taking time to play with Bijou and Katie. Around noontime, each left the house with a list of errands they wanted to run. They agreed to try and be home by 4:30 p.m. and either go to a movie or take in a sporting event, depending upon their mood.

Jack was on the last of his errands. He had gone to the library to check out some books on remodeling and interior design, had new tires put on the truck, and had stopped at the SGC to talk to Sam, to explain a bit about the night before.

In years past, that was something Jack probably wouldn't have even thought about, but Sam's presence in their family was greater than ever. She was not only a part of their extended SG-1 family and a dear friend, but the potential mother of their children should anything happen to both Jack and Daniel. She had earned a respect and a trust from them that could no longer be shirked.

Sam had come without question when Jack had called her, and she had always done whatever Jack and Daniel had needed. As Jack had headed for the SGC, he knew she was entitled to know the whys of their requests.

After his visit, Jack picked up a lovely flower arrangement, one dozen freshly gathered meadow varieties. Walking into the clinic, he asked for Sylvia.

"Jack, I wasn't expecting to see you today," Sylvia shut the door behind him as Jack entered.

"Yeah, well, I owe you an apology. Here," Jack handed her the flowers. "I blew my stack a couple of days ago, and ... you were right. The important thing is that the baby is Daniel's and mine ... and healthy. Who donated the sperm just ... doesn't matter."

"We'll know for sure after the baby is born. All it really does, Jack, is delay the certainty of who goes next. It was an unfortunate mistake, and none of us here mean to belittle the seriousness of it, but when you think about all the things that could have gone wrong, this ... really wasn't so bad."

"You're right."

"How's Daniel?"

"Good. We, uh, had sort of day of therapy yesterday. Today, we're good, ready to go."

"Thanks for the flowers, Jack, and, um, I apologize, too. I may have been a bit harsh with my words."

"No, you weren't -- not with me anyway. I think if you hadn't been so tough with us, I would have got caught up in my anger, and it might have taken me even longer to get over the shock."

"You're going to be parents, Jack. It's a wonderful blessing."

"Yeah. See ya, Syl. ... Oh," Jack turned just as he was about to exit, having opened the door just slightly, "what's happening with that nurse?"

"She's taking a few days off. Doctor Sumneers doesn't want to lose her. She's good, Jack."

"Would it help if I talked to her, assured her we ... are ... I don't know, okay with it?"

"I'll let you know, and Jack, give Daniel my love."

"I will."

"Let her do it herself."

Jack turned, having heard his lover's voice, and asked in surprise, "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Apparently, the same thing you are," Daniel said, nodding towards the flowers and laughing.

"These are for you, Sylvia. I wanted to apologize for being such a dope the other day, and I see I'm not the only dope who had the idea."

"One heart, one soul," Jack whispered, his eyes full of such love for his husband.

Silence filled the room and suddenly Sylvia almost choked, "Oh, sheez, guys, get out of here. Get a room. I can't take it."

The two laughed, and Daniel added, "Thanks for being there for us, Sylvia."

"I didn't mean to lecture either of you, Daniel."

"I'm glad you did. We needed it. I ... needed it. I just ... I forgot for a while what was really important."

Sylvia gave Daniel a quick hug and then reminded him, "Just always remember the gift of life coming your way."

"Which doesn't mean you're not allowed to get angry when things go wrong," Jack interjected, happy to see Sylvia nod in acknowledgement of this.

Daniel smiled shyly as he spoke, "I'll remember, Sylvia, and ... I'll try, Jack. If I mess up, I know you'll set me straight."

"You can count on that," Jack promised.

"Okay, have fun, you guys."

"Believe me, we will," Jacked teased, slapping Daniel on the butt as the younger man walked out in front of him.

"Jaaaack! We're in public!"

"So what? Let them eat their hearts out."

"Jack, honestly, there's out and there's out. Too much PDA isn't always a good thing."

"PDA? Not more abbreviations. I've had too many of those. NID, CIA, FBI, USAF ..."

"PDA ... public display of affection. There's a time and a place and ..."

"I agree," Jack suddenly stopped, scooped Daniel into his arms, and with a bevy of nurses and patients watching, kissed him soundly.

"Jaaaack!"

"What?"

"Gawd, I love you."

Jack laughed boisterously.

"Love you, too. Home?"

"Home!"

Sylvia shut her door and laughed.

"Those two ... heaven help their children. It's going to be a crazy ride!" ====

"Jack?" Daniel asked as they walked into the house.

"Yes, Love?"

"I guess my brain is thinking again, but yesterday, when I ... uh, when ..."

"When we had ... group?" Jack asked, a smile on his face.

"Yeah. The girls. They weren't here, were they? I would have hated for them to see me like that."

"No, I called Carter. She took them for a long walk, played with them at the park for a while, and let them investigate her backyard. She said they had a great time."

"What about the, uh ..."

"Remains? Carter again. When she brought Bij and Katie back, we loaded everything in her car, and she disposed of it."

"Jack, we need to ..."

"I already did. I stopped by the SGC before seeing Sylvia. We talked for a while. I told her about the mess up. She understood."

"There was a time you wouldn't have done that."

"I know, but Carter's ... family, right?"

"Right," Daniel said, a big smile on his face. "I, uh, think maybe she deserves a little more than just an apology."

"I've got it handled. Ordered flowers for her when I picked up Syl's."

"I love you, Jack, and I swear ... it doesn't matter. We're so lucky."

Jack closed the distance between himself and his spouse and kissed him.

"We are lucky. Somehow, we've been given everything we need to be happy."

"Each other," Daniel acknowledged.

"Yeah!"

They kissed and headed for the living room to decide what to do that night.

"How'd it feel to have to sign in like a guest to the SGC?" Daniel asked.

Jack shrugged as he answered, "Don't know. I still have my ID and keys. Hammond won't take them back. You have yours still, don't you?"

"Yeah, you're right, I do. That ... makes me a little nervous. The General wouldn't take mine back either. He kept coming up with excuses."

"With me, too."

At the same time, the two men said, "They're hoping we'll come back." Then both laughed, and again at the same time, "Never!"

Another kiss, and then the two prepared for their evening ... and the future, and whatever mysteries it held.

====On to Chapter Five...