Spare Shuttle

Inara is unpacking as Mal enters.  She does not acknowledge his entrance, as she is still irate with him.  Mal walks up to her and turns her around so that they face each other.

Inara: Please leave me alone, Captain.  I do not wish to speak with you right… well probably never again.

Mal: Come on now, Inara.  I'm being so nice as to let you have our spare shuttle that is supposed to be reserved for emergencies and the like.  I believe that merits a little compassion.

Inara: I know why you won't drop me off.

Mal: Could it be because if we show our faces in the Core any time soon, we'll all be killed?

Inara: You still want me onboard.  You have some creepy childish yearning for me, and if I won't live on this ship under my own will, you will force me to stay.

Mal: Whoa, this is all my fault?  Let's not forget who left their luggage on the ship!

Inara: That was an accident.

Mal: Really?  The bag that you forgot, (Mal points to an enormous suitcase.) it's a little hard to miss.  I think that you left it here on purpose in order to have an excuse to come back.

Inara is both angry and flustered as a result of this remark.

Inara: Left it here purpose… I left it here purposely?  I don't know what kind of overblown image that you have of yourself, Malcolm Reynolds, but I assure you that I would never, EVER try to prolong my time spent with for any circumstances.  And furthermore…

Before Inara can finish her sentence, Mal takes her and kisses her.  She struggles at first, but soon, she calms down and closes her eyes.  She begins to enjoy the embrace, but her eyes shoot open, and she pushes Mal away in disgust.

Inara: I despise you, Capt. Reynolds.

Mal: Fair enough.

Mal leaves her shuttle.  After he has gone, Inara starts to cry.  She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small photograph of Mal.

Andrew's Shuttle

Andrew continues unpacking.  Kaylee and Book enter his room.

Kaylee: Knock, knock Andrew.

Andrew jumps in surprise and tries to frantically hide his artifacts.

Kaylee: A little jumpy are we?  Don't worry, we all know what you're carrying.  Anyway, I want you to meet our resident preacher.  Andrew, I'd like you to meet Shepard Book.

Book: I am delighted to meet you, Mr. Jameson.

Andrew: I'm sure.

Book: Excuse me?

Andrew: You also subscribe to the belief that I'm carrying illegal weapons, am I right?

Book: You mean to tell me that you're not?

Andrew: What I'm saying is that, as a Shepard, you will probably be the crew member most adverse to my so-called reputation.  Anyway, pleased to meet you.

Book: Right.

Kaylee: So, if you're not carrying said weapons, what is in those big bags of yours?

Andrew: It's personal.

Kaylee: Come on, I'm sure that you could give us a little peek.

Andrew: Sorry.

Kaylee: (Whiny.) Come on.

Book: Now Kaylee, if Mr. Jameson does not wish to reveal his personal possessions to you, he does have the right of privacy.

Andrew: Hmm.  I may end up liking you more than I had originally expected, Shepard.

Book: Thanks?

Andrew: You're welcome, man.

Book: Right, well, I think that I will be taking my leave now.

Book leaves.

Kaylee: Okay, now that he's gone, do you want to show me some of your little secrets?

Andrew: Well, when you put it that way, no.

Andrew turns around to get a small flower.

Andrew: Here.

Andrew turns around again.

Kaylee: Thanks.  Anyway, come on.  It's not like you're carrying priceless artifacts.

Andrew's face turns pale.  Kaylee does not see it because he is facing away from her.

Andrew: (Shaky.) No, of course it's not that.

Kaylee: Have you told the Captain what you're carrying?

Andrew: I also told him that it wasn't weapons.  Why are you all so interested in my belongings?

Kaylee: Well, you're on the run from the Alliance.  Every news server in the galaxy claims that you have illegal weapons.  You say that you don't.  If you are packing illegal heat, you've obviously got something that the Alliance doesn't want you to have, or maybe they want it for themselves.
Simon and River walk by the Shuttle and they hear Kaylee and Andrew talking.  Simon still is trying to explain the kiss to Kaylee, so he walks in to meet Andrew and to continue to apologize.    Simon hides a box of strawberries, Kaylee's favorite food, in his jacket pocket.  River follows him in.

Andrew: (to Kaylee) Doesn't anyone on this ship knock?

Kaylee: Not usually.

Simon: Good day.  You must be Andrew Jameson.

Andrew: Must be.  And you must be…

Simon: Simon Tam, the fugitive?

Andrew: I was going to say, "Thinking that I'm carrying illegal weapons", but yeah, I thought that you looked familiar.

Simon: Yeah, River and I here are probably the only fugitives more famous than you… Hey, what do you mean that I would be thinking that you are carrying illegal weapons?  We all know that you are.

Andrew: Well I'm not.  (Shakes his head.) Is everyone on this damn ship going to welcome me like this?

River: (Somewhat angry.) You're not supposed to be here.  You don't belong.

River jumps Andrew and tackles him.  She begins to claw at his face.  Andrew screams in surprise.

Andrew: (Scared.) I guess not.  Still, I would have preferred the weapons intro.  Geez, what's your sister on?

Simon and Kaylee are horrified.

Simon: River, no!  What are you doing?

Kaylee: River!  Get off of him!

River: Doesn't.  Belong.

Andrew: Aren't you guys going to help me?

Jayne, hearing the commotion, comes to investigate.  He sticks his head in and laughs.

Jayne: What's the matter, tough guy?  Can't even handle a little girl?

Andrew: I don't want to hurt her.  Unlike you, I don't hurt women.

Simon is finally able to pull River off of Andrew.  He gets up and adjusts his clothes.  There are scratch marks on his face.

Andrew: (Looking at River.) Now, don't get me wrong; I love aggressive women.  But that's not my idea of a good time, and you're a little young for me.

This remark brings a look of disgust to Simon's face.

Simon: Dear God.  That's… I can't believe you said that.

Jayne smiles.

Jayne: You can't believe it?  I'm starting to like this kid.

Kaylee: Yeah, it may have been a little vulgar, but at least he can keep a sense of humor.

Andrew: Thank you.

Simon: Sense of humor?  That remark goes beyond humor.

Andrew: You're a doctor, right?

Simon: Yes, but why is that relevant?

Andrew: You may need to have that rod up your butt looked at.

Simon is now blushing.  He is so angry that he can barely string a sentence together.

Simon: (To Kaylee.) So, this is what you look for in a man?  A perverted sense of humor?

Andrew: Let's not forget my amazing good looks.

Simon: Come on, River.

Simon grabs River and takes her out of the Shuttle.

Kaylee: Wait, Simon, come back.

Kaylee runs after them.

Jayne: You just made my day.

Jayne also leaves.

The Galley

Simon is pulling River through the Galley.  Kaylee catches up with them.

Kaylee: Come on, Simon.  He's not that bad.

Simon: Not that bad?  First of all, he's a fugitive!

Kaylee: So are you.

Simon: Yeah, but I just broke my sister out of a government-sanctioned facility…

Kaylee gives him a look that says "That's a crime,".

Simon: That was using her as a lab rat.  He, on the other hand, builds and traffics dangerous weapons.

Kaylee: No he doesn't.

Simon: How do you know that?

Kaylee: Because he told me.

Simon: And you believe him?

Mal, Zoë, and Wash enter.

Mal: You don't?

Simon: No I don't.  I don't think that we can trust anything that he says.

Wash: Why's that?

Simon: Well, for starters, something about him set River off.

Wash: So did Jayne those couple of times.

Everyone looks at him.

Wash: Okay, bad example.

Zoë: I think what my husband is trying to say is that River is easily set off over little things.

Simon: She said that he didn't belong.

Mal: (Turns to River.) Okay River.  Why doesn't he belong?

River: He should be dead.

Mal, Zoë, Wash, Simon, and Kaylee: What??

River: He was born over 500 years ago.  He should be dead.  But he's not.  His biological age is about 23, but he was born over 500 years ago.

Everyone exchanges looks of surprise and awe.

Mal: Looks like we should pay Mr. Jameson a small visit.