Just a One Shot. It came from nowhere. It means nothing. I own nothing. Not even The OC.
Ryan was on the beach, by himself, after school. Soccer was over. Seth was with Summer. Like usual. Marissa was...well, at this point, Ryan didn't really care where Marissa was. He tended to stop caring about people when they started calling him pathetic. At least he liked to believe he did.
He was supposed to meet Luke, but Luke had gotten himself a detention. Who would've thought that filling Mr. Bendis's briefcase with shaving cream would result in a detention? Yeah, everyone but Luke. Moron.
He took a drag on his cigarette. He really didn't smoke much anymore. He hadn't smoked at all during soccer season. But after the stress of Oliver, and Marissa, and his disappointment in the Cohens, and their disappointment in him...sometimes a cigarette just felt good. And the beach was pretty quiet today. Not many people around yet. He stubbed his butt out in the sand, enjoying the solitude. The sound of the waves hitting the shore was enough to distract him from his thoughts. He closed his eyes, lost in the white noise of the waves, letting nature wash over him...
"What do you think you're doing?"
Ryan started at the voice. He opened his eyes, and squinted at the brightness of the sun, trying to recognize the silhouetted shadow walking towards him. The turquoise tights and purple sneakers came into focus first.
"I'm just relaxing on the beach." He noticed her staring at his butt. Cigarette butt, that is. He didn't think she could see his butt, as he was sitting on it. "Oh, that? I don't do it that often. Kirsten wouldn't be happy...
"I don't care that you were smoking. Well, I do, for the fact that it pollutes your lungs and isn't good for you and I like you." Anna blushed. "Well, I don't mean I like you, like you. Just that you're a good person and ...." Anna refocused. "Do you think this beach is your own personal ashtray?"
Ryan was taken aback. "What?"
Anna waved a garbage bag full of butts at him. "Why do smokers think that the world is their ashtray?"
"Why are you carrying a bag full of cigarette butts?" Ryan knew some people in Chino who collected butts for the leftover tobacco, so they could roll new ones. He didn't think that's what Anna was doing. Though she could probably roll a whole pack of cigarettes with the number of butts she'd collected.
"Do you not listen to the announcements at school?"
"You do?"
"I read them this morning, idiot." Anna plopped down on the sand beside him.
"Oh. This morning during homeroom, I was a little distracted. Did you hear what Luke did?"
"Yes, I heard what Luke did. Why are boys so juvenile?"
Ryan raised his eyebrows at her.
"Yeah, don't answer that."
"So what did I miss during announcements this morning?"
Ryan saw the excitement in Anna's eyes as she started to explain. "Harbor High has joined San Clemente and Corona del Mar High in the Hold On to Your Butt program. So today we're doing a beach clean up, picking up butts on the beaches. Did you know that since the program started, over 10,000 butts have been collected on Newport beaches alone?"
"They weren't all mine," Ryan protested.
Anna didn't look amused. "And tomorrow night, we're going to the City Council meeting to speak in support of smoke-free beaches and piers."
"That'd suck."
"It's supposed to be a good thing."
"I know, but where am I supposed to go when I want to smoke? I can't smoke at the Cohens' – Kirsten would have a fit. We aren't allowed to smoke at school. The beach is the one place I can go."
Anna was smiling at him.
"What? Shouldn't you be telling me that's the point?"
"It is the point. It's just...that's the first selfish thing I've heard you say since I've known you. You're always doing this for Marissa, going there for Seth. I've never heard you actually want something for you before."
Ryan knew that wasn't true. He wanted lots of things. He wanted people who believed him when he told them Oliver was crazy. He wanted a girlfriend whose head didn't turn to the newest thing going. He wanted to be at a school where he fit in. He wanted to be able to be himself, without have to worry about which social etiquette rule he was breaking. He wanted a brother who wasn't a criminal. He wanted a mother who wasn't a drunk and who didn't leave him with strangers. He wanted a father who cared. He wanted lots of selfish things.
He just shrugged at Anna. "You want some help?" He stood up, then held out his hand to help Anna up.
She stood up and brushed the sand off her skirt. She reached into her pocket, pulled out an empty bag and handed it to Ryan. "Sure."
Ryan started to walk along the beach, but realized Anna wasn't beside him.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she called to him, tapping her toe.
Ryan jogged back and picked up his discarded butt. As he bent over, he was pretty sure that this time, it was his butt Anna was looking at. He smiled. Anna was wrong. He did want something. And he thought she did too.
The End