From A Sea Of Lies Comes Something Wonderful

Disclaimer: Don't own GH if I did I would put Jason on a hell of a lot more.

This chapter going to be also done in Jason Point of View for a little bit when he alone without Sam around. Thanks

Chapter Two

I was just sitting on Jason bed not knowing what to think. Maybe I was too hard on Jason by saying he I wasn't important to him just the baby, but that's what I feel. Maybe that's what I want to feel. It's easier to think he doesn't care about me then if he does because then I have to figure out my feelings for Jason and I don't think I can handle that right now.

I am so used to not letting anyone help me, doing everything for Danny and myself on my own, but now that Jason around I don't feel like I have too. Jason is so good to me, Danny and especially baby Lila. He would do anything in the world for the baby. He loves Lila like she is his own child. No matter what I have done or possibly could do would change that, at least I hope that. I want Jason to be in her life always and I hope he in my life always.

The big question is what do I want him in my life as.

That something I have to think about but right now I have to write Jason a letter explaining how much he means to me.

Jason point of view from now till I say till when I say Sam's point of view again. Thanks

I jump on my bike after storming out of the penthouse. I need to think because if I go back in there right now I will say something I regret. I can't believe same thinks she isn't important to me. If she only knew how important to me she has become.

When this all started all I said I wanted was to protect Michael and Morgan family, but that isn't true from the start I wanted to protect Sam and her baby as well. I may not have always liked her, but I knew deep down she was good when she wouldn't take the money I tried to give her to leave Sonny.

After finding out all she did for her brother just made me feelings for her get more messed up then they already are. I wish I didn't care about her, I wish I was that stone wall everyone seems to think I am. Sam once asked me to talk to her about my feelings, but how can I do that when I don't even know them myself.

After everything happen with Courtney I thought I could get over all my feelings and just never let them out again. I got over Courtney I loved her, and I will always love her in some sense of the word, but I'm not in love with her anyway. I want her happy and if that is with Jax then so be it. I just don't know what I want anymore.

It was easier when all I had to do was protect Sam and the baby, but each day that passes I love that baby more and more. After losing Michael and my baby with Courtney I figured I never get a chance to be anyone dad biological or not. After taking care of Michael those first months of his life, all I have wanted was to be a father. I know the baby father is Sonny, not me but I want the baby to have two parents in the house that love her and I think Sam and I could do that.

Sam, every time I think of her something about her makes me smile. She tries so hard to be tough and act like she doesn't need anyone, but that isn't true. She needs Danny as much as he needs her and she needs baby Lila so much.

The question is does she need me? I hope she does.

I turn the bike around and head home.

I walk back into the penthouse to see Sam asleep on touch with a letter on her swollen stomach.

I read the top the words on the top of the letter

Jason, please read this then wake me up so we can talk about it, Love Sam

I rip the letter open

For right now this is Sam voice reading the letter in Jason head then we go back to Jason thoughts, Thanks.

Dear Jason,

I know I say you need to talk about your feelings, but so do I and the best way I do that is in a letter.

Jason, you have done so much for me, more than anyone else in my life ever has and that includes Sonny.

I have lied to you, keep things from you, and basically drove you nuts on a daily bases since you found out about Lila being in my tummy.

You helped me when I didn't even know if I wanted to have this baby. You helped me when I didn't have the guts to tell Sonny. You said you help raise this baby when you knew it wasn't yours, as well as the fact that I was in love with someone else and wanted to raise the baby with them.

I have never been so happy to not get what I thought I wanted. I thought I wanted to raise this baby with Sonny because I loved him, but I realize now that Michael and Morgan need and love Sonny. As for Lila, she will love Sonny because he is her biological father, but she needs and love you because you have been there for every doctor's appointment and every other important moment since we found out about her. You are her father in every sense of the world and as you say DNA doesn't matter.

For me Jason, you have been a life saver. You helped me with the murder conviction that said I killed my mother and you helped save not only Lila, one of the other two most important people in my life. You helped save Danny, never asking for anything in return. You took care of him, made sure he didn't get hurt by what accidentally happen. All the while dealing with me fighting with you over everything and bugging the hell out of you.

All you have ever wanted from me is to take care of the baby and myself, never caring about yourself or what you want. You never worry about yourself. You worry about Carly, Sonny, Michael, Morgan, Courtney, Emily, Lila, Danny, and myself before you even dare ask what you want.

I want you to worry about yourself, but most of all I wish you let me in and let me worry about you Jason. You have done everything for me and I have done nothing for you. Please let me in Jason because I want this to work for Lila, for myself, for Sonny and his family but most of all I want this to work for you. The reason being is because I can't image Lila or my life without you in it.

Love,


Samantha

Back to Jason point of view for now, thanks.

I stare at that letter with my eyes filling with tears because Sam thinks of me as Lila dad and she doesn't care that its not by blood.

There something I have to find out.

I go over to Sam and sit on m knee on the floor next to where she lays on the couch. I bend over and kiss her forehead. I see her eyes start to open. "Jason" she says it a groggy voice.

"Did you mean what you said in this letter Sam?" I ask not knowing what else to because I just hope that she means it but which part do I want her to mean.

Sam point of view from now on, thanks.

I slowly sit up and ask "Which part?"

"I have to parts I want to know about." Jason says and he goes to sit on the couch behind my back.

"Which parts?" I ask as I let myself lean back onto his strong chest needing his support.

He slowly puts his arms around my belly and I turn my head to look at him, "The part that you think of me as Lila dad?"

"Yes, you are her dad in my heart, in hers and yours." I see his blue eyes fill with tears and a little tear drop came out I slowly wipe it away with my right hand. "The other part?"

"Why can't you image your life without me?"

TBC

Thank you for all the feedback more to come.