Chapter 4

The Beradan's Decision

AN: Dearest Ellie, ever hear of being grounded? LOL. Sorry it took me so long and there is a little something you might enjoy in here that you won't recognize as it was not in the notebook version of this chapter.

A cold wind howled as they stood, trying to make sense of what had happened to the lembas and things seemed a blur as Sam was accused, the cleverly planted crumbs on his cloak not enough to convince Levanna that he had eaten them. She watched as Sam denied it, watched how Frodo gazed at him and was surprised when he told Sam to go home. She studied with much curiosity the younger hobbit's expression as he heard his master's order, felt pity well deep in her heart and so she resolved what to do.

As Sam curled up and began to cry, she knelt next to him and held him to her as his tears rained, despite her difficult bulk. By the rate of her son's growth, she knew Frodo was not ever trustful as he had declared. She gently stroked Sam's hair as he wept, soothed him with soft whispers, not quite sure what to do as where she had grown up, no one ever had to comfort the weeping because the elves were so stonefaced. Feeling incredibly maternal to the hurt hobbit she felt a tear fall down her own cheek and jumped as Frodo spoke.

"Come Levanna, he will be fine."

Determination filled her and she knew the right thing to do. She looked up at him and shook her head, stern and unmoving at his obvious shock. "Since Gollum is so trustworthy I expect you will do fine, Frodo. I will assist Samwise home and return to my own home." She turned back to Sam. "You don't need me any more." She said so he couldn't hear.

"Are you mad!?" Frodo glared. "And what of our child?" His eyes blazed with both fear and outrage.

She looked back at him sharply."What of him? I will raise him with the assistance of my family and friends in Valinor, you need not worry, the elves will care well for both of us."

Angry and with nothing more to say, Frodo followed Gollum up the precipice and Levanna turned her attention to her dear friend in her arms, who was still softly sobbing. "Come now, Samwise dry your tears. I am here, and I'm going to help you back home."

"Don't be ridiculous," he muttered. "You'll prolly give birth before we even get there."

She sighed. "Well then we'll have to deal, I won't let you go by yourself, perhaps I can call for another horse of Galadriel's, we'll be there within two weeks time." She smiled and produced a white handkerchief, wiped his tears as a mother would. "Do not worry, you are safe with me."

He shook his head. "We can't do it, we can't just leave. You know Gollum can't be trusted! He'll have Frodo killed for sure."

This stung her more than anything anyone could have or had said about her, Sam was right. Frodo didn't have a chance now and the Ring's influence had taken both of them to not want to continue. "What have we done," she shook her head and stood. "We've sentenced him to death!"

Sam shook his head. "We'll go after in an hour or so, but we need rest, especially you. Are you feeling all right?"

She sat again and slumped against the stone. "Guilty, like a traitor."

"I meant physically." Sam joked lightly.

She smiled. "Why can't my mental grief be physical?" she shook her head, her already tangled hair flying all about. "Why can't anything be what it isn't?"

"That's just it, nothing is as it seems because if it was then it would seem to be nothin', but everythin's worth somethin', Levanna, like this baby you're carryin', if things weren't as they seemed, you wouldn't care for it and you do, don't ya?"

She smiled softly and nodded. "Maybe it's maternal instinct but I do Sam, I would lay my life down for my child." A tear slipped slowly from her eye. "And it's father."

Sam felt his soft smile fade, but he faked another and lightly punched her shoulder. "Get some rest, we have a long journey ahead of us." He brought out a blanket and as she lay down she told him.

"You're right Sam, nothing is as it seems, we shall go after Frodo in a few hours but first, first ..." She yawned. "Pardon me, first we must rest. Here Samwise, sleep near me and let your sorrows fade, your life is too short to worry of such things. Sleep and dream of your Shire, happy and warm, dream of your Rosie, my own dear cousin and of your Gaffer and the gardens you tend to. And you must dream of Frodo, happy and well, but most importantly as your dearest friend, for that is what he is." She looked to where Sam lay next to her and smiled as he fell into a peaceful sleep, even here near darkness. She kissed her finger and brushed it to her bulk, then fell asleep.

Levanna watched with silent skill from her hiding place as Frodo struggled to escape Shelob, she didn't sense the spider anywhere near and so she rushed out to him. "Frodo, come along! We have to hurry!" She gave him Sting and his cloak which had been dropped, fastened it, ignoring how he gazed at her in relief. Quickly, as she feared Shelob drew near she drew her own sword and spun around but saw nothing, slowly she turned back to Frodo. "Run." She whispered, fearing the worst and knowing he had to go or all was doomed.

"Levanna you have gone completely mad I am not leaving you . . ."

"Levanna, Mr. Frodo!" Sam cried, Frodo turned to face him and knowing she didn't have the strength to stab upwards Levanna stood still as the spider's stinger sunk into her back, she dropped her sword and just as she would fall to her knees Shelob began to wrap her in her silk but Sam rushed forward and stabbed her with Levanna's sword, jumped on her, a few kicks and stabs as Frodo rushed to her side, and as he was knocked to the ground, Sam thrust the sword deep into the spider, pulled it out, and watched her run away.

"Levanna!" Frodo cried, a hot tear cascading down his cheek and onto her milk white face, she just stared up at him blankly, did not move. More tears as he shook her and realizing she would not rise he let out a sob and brought her to his chest, wept into her thick brown curls, feeling their silky softness in his fingers. She had saved his life, in the end, and given her own. Suddenly a thought struck him and he slowly removed Sting from it's sheath.

"Mr Frodo, what're you doin'?" Sam asked painfully through his own tears.

"The baby," Frodo whispered, turning to his friend, his pain undeniable and completely heart wrenching as he gazed upon his friend, shaking uncontrollably. "I've got to save the baby Sam."

Sam watched in horror and wonder as Frodo raised his sword slightly to where the bulk began and slipped it down Levanna's clothing, slitting it. He then poised the blade to her flesh, ready to tear in when voices where heard nearby. Orc's, oh no, what could he do! He had to leave her but he still had to save the baby! He was going to continue but Sam grabbed him and pulled him into a hiding place, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. They listened to the Orc's conversation as they carried Levanna away, she was not dead! Thank Elbereth he had not cut her as planned, now they would only have to find them.

"Barad-Dur." Frodo murmured and turned to his friend who gulped and nodded.

Legolas watched Ellomë closely as they sat by the campfire, victory today! Thousands of Uruk-Hai defeated! Not to mention that nifty trick he had on the Oliphaunt. The she elf was drawn into herself, gazing into the crackling flames, thinking of the love she had lost. He frowned slightly and gazed at her with a new understanding, in her heart she was waiting for him to come back to her, when in her mind she knew he never would. He looked away a moment, gathering his thoughts, then he said softly. "Are you all right, Ellomë?"

She looked at him in surprise, her brown eyes wide with how much she had not expected the question from him, everyone else was inside tents, sleeping and mourning the loss of King Theoden, they were alone. She smiled softly with a nod and then asked. "Tell me about Levanna."

"Vanni?" He chuckled softly. "Well, she's mischievous, stubborn, loyal to her loved ones, as you well saw at helm's Deep."

"Yes of course." She said softly, tracing a finger across a blade of grass. "They're all noble qualitites, but what is she like as a person?"

"Well kept." He said without hesitation. "Being the Beradan has not been an easy task from he moment she was born, I know, I've been by her side since then. I trained her in battle and studied her in books, took her places so she would understand customs and other people, and there's always been something that hurt her, but she's stayed strong." He smiled softly. "We were engaged to be married when she was 18, I loved her dearly and I like to think she loved me as well, but then her mother was killed, slaughtered in front of her very eyes and so in her grief she fled to Rivendell and practicing healing, fled to Elrond for guidance and told me she could not marry me. I understood, and have been her best friend since."

"Do you still love her?" She asked softly, tossing away a golden brown lock of hair from her shoulder. He gazed at her a moment, studied her eyes and smiled.

"Yes, but not in the way a husband loves a wife. She is like a daughter to me, I would easily lay my life down for her." He smiled softly, gazing upon his memories as they flew before him. "There is another who has caught my eye."

"I noticed," she said quickly, her own discomfort getting the best of her. "Miss Elamithril is charming." She wrung her hands nervously and gazed at her lap, her shoulder stiff with anxiety.

He gazed at her with admiration and humor, watching the display of uncomfortableness with soft eyes and an even softer smile. "I wasn't talking about Lily."

She looked up at him, stunned wordless, her mouth slightly ajar for a moment, she closed it and looked at her hands, finding understanding. "Oh? I thought you two meant something to each other."

He bit his lip at her whispered comment and then said slowly. "Lily and I rushed into everything very suddenly, I suppose it was because we both were trying to find our ways out of broken hearts and pride, I don't like to rush things because when you do you never learn anything."

She still could not find words to say, and that was a compliment towards him. No man had left her speechless since . . . Tears welled in her eyes as if Elrohir had died yesterday, but he hadn't, it had been many years since he had fallen over that cliff. So many years since Elladan came back with that look, that look she would never forget. She moved to leave but he grabbed her arm.

"Very slowly I have gotten to understand you Ellomë, you are a very mysterious person indeed, and I admire your bravery, but I pity your weakness. You still hold your heart out for he who is dead, and you shall spend all eternity playing it out, when you could have more. When you could have love again, when someone could love you and not be shunned because you are waiting for Elrond's son to rise from the dead." He slid his hand that was holding her arm to hold her hand, and took the other one as well, gazed into her beautiful brown eyes and without thought leaned in and kissed her.

To say the least she was stunned, shocked that he would be so brazen in an action, he had seemed so proper and quiet, but here he was bold as brass kissing her with Lily very close by. Though she had to admit, something sparked inside of her that she had not felt in too many years. Something so very wonderful. Pain slashed through her as she realized she had let Elrohir go in that kiss and so she shoved him away, her eyes flashing with hurt and anger. "How dare you!" She took several heaving breaths and again looked at her lap. "I mean, what I meant to say . . ."

"It's all right." He whispered, drawing her into his arms. "I'm not asking you to let go of Elrohir, but let go of your heart Ellie, things will be all right if you do." He ran his hands through her hair. "Trust me."

"But . . . What about Lily?" She asked quickly.

He paused a moment then smiled softly, lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. "I will find a way to tell her."

She sat for a moment, gazing into the flames and then with some effort stood, releasing herself from his hold. "I'm going to bed, I need time to think alone." She paused as she moved to her tent and before entering she turned and called to him. "Legolas?"

He looked at her and she smiled at him. "Yes?"

"Thank you." And she stepped into the tent and closed it, he watched her and smiled to himself, thinking about how lucky he was. Meanwhile a human ball behind one tent released itself and wiped their tear soaked cheeks, scurried into a tent, unseen and unheard.