TO GO, PLEASE

Chapter 11: Through a Crack in My Wall

Rating: PG

Author: Adrial

E-mail:

TO GO, PLEASE

AN: Now that we've got everything moving in place,

I hope the changes I've made make as big of a difference

as I plan for them. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, I don't want it,

I just write about it.

PS: Sorry about the crappy formatting. is getting on my NERVES.

----------------------------------------------------------

The rythmic pulse of Makoto's heart rate

thumped dully in my ears and beneath my fingertips. I

wasn't sure how long I remained rooted to the same spot, but

the next thing I knew, Minako was unclenching the vise-like

grip I had unconsciously planted on Makoto's purpling wrist

and calling my name.

I jerked to attention and stared into her authoratative

gaze for a fraction of a second before whipping around and

facing the reason for the brewing migraine forming at my

temples.

"That's right, Mercury. No need to seem so shocked,"

Myora snapped her fingers and a pair of vicious looking youma,

fangs and mouths dripping with anticipation of a good battle,

appeared at either of her sides.

"Keep the others busy while I have a chat with this

one, boys, if you don't mind."

I had a feeling she didn't give two shits if they

minded or not. But they rose to the occassion with hunger

flashing across their lemon-yellow eyes and malice leaking

from their very pores.

Makoto's rapidly lowering heart rate was still humming

across my visor, and I risked turning around to scope out Mamoru's

location and found him kneeling beside Venus and Moon, transformed

and having nestled his cape beneath Makoto's wounded head.

Venus caught my gaze and nodded to him, and he lifted

Makoto gingerly from the ground and leapt to the exit, vanishing

in the raging blizzard outside.

It seemed I'd risked one second too much, and I barely

had a chance to raise a defensive arm to block the waves of

electricity that wrapped themselves tightly around my neck

and tore me from the ground and to my knees at Myora's feet.

She yanked the chain forcefully, and I faced her

with a mask of utter contempt.

The sounds of Sailor Mars and Venus's attacks exploded

around me, but I could hardly turn to watch, much less help.

I cringed at the sound of bone cracking to my left, and felt

a leap of fear at Sailor Moon's cry of pain.

Now I was pissed. And Myora refused to wipe the

ever-present smirk off her disgusting face. I'd only known her

for ten minutes and I already wanted to kick her ass ten ways from

Sunday. It was amazing how much Makoto and Rei had rubbed off on me

in the past 5 years.

"Well, Mercury, we meet again," She glowered over me.

I was beyond perplexed, but I didn't show it. Instead, I gave

her a glare of my own and winced at the increase of dark energy she

surged through my body.

"Wha-what do you want?" I croaked, annoyed that the chains

gripping my neck made me sound like Mickey Mouse when I was going

for something more along the lines of intimidating and fierce.

She sniffed. "You know damn well what I want!"

"Why don't you re--mind me?" It was getting difficult to

breathe now. Venus's chain sliced the air over Myora's head, missing

her neck by at least a foot. She cursed from somewhere behind me and

hastily threw out a Love and Beauty Shock at something I couldn't see.

Myora growled at having been nearly decapitated and glared;

this only seemed to triple my agony as I tried to remain conscious.

"CRYSTAL MOON THER-GAAH!" I watched in a rage as Usagi's

form slid across the floor and a youma advanced on her.

Another golden chain sizzled through the air, this time

successfully knocking Myora off her balance. I grabbed the oppotunity

without time for thought and threw my energy into a shine aqua illusion

aimed at her chest.

I didn't wait to see what damage had actually been done, before

flinging myself away and scrambling to my feet.

"MERCURY BUBBLES!"

Flashes of red and gold soared through my fog, and I

waited for my eyes to adjust to the new atmosphere. It was always

harder when my mind was so cluttered. Finally, I could make out

Venus and Mars, both situated around an unconscious Sailor Moon in a

protective barrier and gritting their teeth in effort to ward off

the two blood-thirsty youma.

I precisely aimed and fired, successfully stunning the two

youma by freezing their legs to the ground. They wouldn't stay there

forever, I knew, and took the precious seconds to leap over to the

senshi's sides, ignoring the dark energy that still buzzed painfully

through my veins.

Mars' face was sweaty and soiled with dirt and ash from her

flame attacks. A gash poured blood in a steady stream down her left

arm and she was favoring her left leg.

Venus was none the worse for wear. She was sporting a large

purple bruise the size of a volleyball on her left thigh and scrapes

and cuts littered her face, neck, and arms. She lifted an arm to wipe

a film of sweat from her forehead and glanced at me to probably

calculate my own state of phyiscal well-being.

"Looks like we'll have to do a combined attack, minna." She

grunted, and I noticed her twisted foot, absent of her usual orange

heel.

"Are you sure you're up for it, guys? We could just make a

run for it. With your injuries, we'd be lucky to knock them off their

feet," I bit my lip; the youma were cracking out of their ice-shells and

looking none too happy about it.

Venus rolled her shoulders, "You can't carry Usagi on your own.

There's no other choice."

Mars nodded, staring determindedly at the youma before us and

I knew she was trying to clear her mind, a task only years of priestess

up-bringing could have taught her.

"Let's get it on then, minna," She growled.

"VENUS CRYSTAL POWER!"

"MARS CRYSTAL POWER!"

Knowing just how drained their energy source was, I forced myself

to pour every bit of power I could into the attack.

"MERCURY CRYSTAL POWER!"

"PLANET POWER ATTACK!!!"

The resulting attack was significantly smaller than it would

have been if we'd had two extra senshi to tag along for the ride, but

it was thankfully enough. Two piles of ashes spread across the floor

at our feet where the youma had once been.

Mars swayed on her feet, and I had to thrust out my arms to

keep her from crashing to the floor. Venus wobbled as well but managed

to remain standing long enough for us to search the premesis for any

signs of Myora.

As if she knew we were looking for her, Myora's voice pierced

through the eerie silence like a thousand knives.

"This is not over yet, Senshi! I will not rest until I have

avenged my father's death!!"

Just as quickly as it had entered, her voice left us drowning

in silence once again. Our eyes darted all around the room, straining

to find any indication that she was still sliming around.

But she was gone, and we sighed with utter relief. I

knew without a doubt that she wouldn't stay away forever, and

in light of that, I settled Mars onto the floor beside Usagi and

sprinted to the exit, telling Venus to wait with them while I

got help.

Outside, there was no sign of Tuxedo Kamen or Makoto, and I

felt a lurch of fear rise in my throat. Headlights glared in my face

out of nowhere, and I shielded my eyes. When they shifted, I blinked

and saw Mamoru's car coasting towards me.

Indescribably relieved, I raced for it, throwing open the

passenger side door and sticking my head in.

"Usagi and Rei are down. We need your help."

Mamoru was half-way out of the car when I saw Makoto's

body sprawled out in the backseat, still as the night around us,

and I nearly had a heart attack before the barely traceable rise

and fall of her chest let me know she was, in fact, still

breathing and alive.

A hand on my arm shook me back into reality, and I looked

up to see Mamoru.

"Come on, Ami." He urged gently. I didn't need telling twice.

We fled side-by-side back to our friends and had them outside in no

time. Mamoru carried Usagi in his arms, and I supported both Mina and

Rei on either side of my body. Rei had thankfully gained enough

conciousness to be able to stand without crumbling.

There was no way I would have been able to heal all of their

wounds in my state, and I gulped. Hard.

Mamoru had slid to the side of her car with Usagi's head

nestled in his lap, muttering soft pleas for her to wake up. Venus

watched them while helping me support Mars's weight.

With a single thought, my visor flew across my eyes and

I checked the extent of all of their injuries.

Usagi, thank the powers that be, was only knocked out. She

had suffered a nastily fractured leg, but that would be healed in

a matter of days.

Venus and Mars would be fine after a long nights sleep;

their twisted ankles were healing even as I read their stats on

my visor's screen.

But Makoto was another story. I threw open the car door, urgency

prickling the back of my head. Situating myself on the floor of the

car, I lifted her head gingerly from the black cape. It was damp

with her blood.

Despite my own weakened state, I was fairly sure that I'd

be able to heal most of the brain hemmoraging she was suffering from

and the crack in her skull. My stomach lurched sickeningly at the

thought that without her advanced healing rates, she should have been

already dead.

But I shoved those thoughts away and concentrated on the

grip I had on her neck.

Just as my hands began to pour power into her body, someone

was yanking me back harshly. I turned wide eyes to Sailor Venus.

"Venus--What are you doing?" I demanded.

She glared at me, "No, Mercury!" Grabbing my hands, she

tried to force me away from Makoto's body, "You're still weak from

the planet attack, if you heal her you could--"

I thrust her grasp away, "And if I don't heal her,

SHE will die."

The gaze she locked on me would have sent anyone else

crying for their mommy. It was steel-hard and unweilding, but

lucky for me, I knew her well enough to know that she knew damn

well that I was right.

I thought of the seconds we were wasting when Makoto was

slowly but surely dying right beneath us, when finally, Minako unlocked

her gaze and slid back out of the car.

I sighed heavily and returned my attention to Makoto's

purpling body.

Mercury Remefy!

I barely heard the cry of another's voice, calling my

name in disbelief, before I was pulled beneath a current of

pulsing energy. It lapped like foaming waves through my body,

taking what energy was needed and transmitting it into the

limp form beneath my hands. Makoto's body glowed brightly

with the light of my powers.

I felt the tap on my energy drastically plummeting but

urged it to keep going. Makoto's face remained in my vision,

driving me forward. My lungs contracted, desperately trying

to find the energy to breathe as it rapidly disintegrated.

"Mercury, stop!" A blurred voice yelled in my ear.

I couldn't hear anything any more. I felt serenely calm for a moment...drifting in some place inside of myself.

My final memories were of the cold, frozen earth

colliding with my body, and two shining pools of the emerald

ocean in front of my eyes before they fluttered shut.

-----------------------------

"Do you think we should try to wake her?"

"No...she needs to sleep."

"And the others?"

"We're not telling them anything until she wakes

up."

"Wait...Look!"

I groaned. Why was everything spinning? My head

felt like someone had shoved a pair of symbols through my

ears and was currently trying to rip a hole through my skull

with the force of their repeated blows.

Sleep. I wanted to sleep. Forever, maybe. God, when

would the voices STOP?

Furrowing my brows, I resisted opening my eyes at all.

"Lts. Tnlitsff."

Someone was bending over me.

"What, Ami-chan?"

"I sd. Tnlightsff..."

There was a snicker, and I groaned again. Someone

cleared their throat softly.

"OK. I think she's saying 'Tim likes snuff.'"

More snickering.

"Nah. More like 'Tom bites stuff.'"

"USAGI."

"Geez. I was only trying to help."

A loud rustling noise exploded in my ears and suddenly,

I felt as if my ears were going to finally detonate. Thrusting

out blindly, I wrapped my fingers around the torturous object

and hurled it as far as my weak limbs could.

Satisfied at the sound of it impacting wall, I dropped

my arm and sighed.

"My, my, my. Aren't we the crabby one in the morning?"

If my eyes were open, I would have surely rolled them as

far back in my head as humanly possible, but that was completely

impossible seeing as how absolutely NO one had turned the damn lights

off yet. I tried one more time.

"Now. Turn-the-lights-off." The effort put into each

syllable pounded against my temples, but they finally got the

hint and someone scrambled from their place beside me and in

a few seconds, all was dim. Ah, blessed darkness.

Cracking an eyelid open, I made out four sillohuettes.

My eyes took a little while to become adjusted to seeing again,

but soon I could make out the outline of noses and ears and two

odangos bouncing in the dark.

"Minna? Where am I?"

A tiny hand slipped into my own and squeezed. I squeezed

back and smiled slightly.

"Rei's place. How are you feeling, Ami-chan?" Usagi

supplied in a soothing, mother hen type voice.

"I'm fine." 'LIAR!' Grunting, I pushed myself to my elbows,

"What time is it?"

A brief pause followed, and Minako announced that

I had slept for nearly sixteen hours and it was going on

two thirty.

"WHAT?!" I lurched my self up into a sitting position, "I

have a Biology quiz this afternoon!"

Usagi groaned, "There's no way you're taking any quizzes

today, Ami-chan." At the signs of protest from me, she added, "And

that is a direct order of the Princess."

I'd been defeated. "Fine." With that, I let my head drop

back down to the blissfully soft pillow and closed my eyes. "Now

all I need is another short, 16 hour nap."

"Umm, that might not be possible, Ames. I don't think the

boys are going to wait much longer before busting down Rei's front

door."

"Boys? What boys?" And abruptly, every horrid detail of the

previous night and battle rushed into my mind. I begged for it all

to be a nightmare, but I was never that lucky.

"We'll explain once you get up. Brace yourself!"

A million shots of pain stabbed at my eyes. I had opened

them at the exact moment Rei flipped on her bedside lamp. Swallowing

the number of colorful phrases I could have uttered at that moment,

I squinted hard and waited for the agonizing time my eyes needed to

adjust to pass by.

Obviously after expending such a vast amount of energy

in healing Makoto's wounds, I had fainted. I could piece together

that much on my own. However, the reason Zach and his crew wanted

to do physical damage to Rei's temple was completely beyond me.

I needed answers, but that would require thinking, and

at the moment that was the last thing I wanted to do. (AN: everyone

gasps!) It hurt way too much.

"Shower. Need shower. Toothbrush." I moaned, feeling

supremely stupid at how I'd seemed to have taken a liking to

speak in caveman tongue. But I felt as if I'd spent all last

night rolling in a pig pen and wrestling an alligator afterwards

so I figured it was at least marginally justified. Neither of

which were true, of course, but that was what it felt like anyways.

My friends scooted off the bed and dutifully helped me

into Rei's bathroom, and, making sure I wouldn't fall before they

left, handed me a towel and left the door cracked--just in case.

I spent a good thirty minutes underneath the scorching

stream of water masaging my scalp with Herbal Essence shampoo and

had to force myself to turn it off, lest I fall asleep right then

and there.

After brushing my teeth and wrapping myself in a yellow

towel, I left the bathroom to find a pair of faded jeans and a

Juuban U sweatshirt folded neatly on Rei's bed for my own desposal.

Feeling extrememly warm and comfortable after dressing, I

left Rei's room ready to tackle whatever needed to be accomplished

in the wake of last night's fiasco.

In the living room, Usagi was sprawled out on the couch,

reclining her right leg, which had been bound in a cast. Minako

sat on the opposite end, the pillow Usagi's leg was levitated

onto her lap, and a few butterfly bandages peppered her face and

collarbone. They wouldn't be needed in a few more hours, I mused.

Rei and Makoto were both laying flat on their backs on

the floor, staring at the ceiling silently and sharing a bag of

pretzels.

I announced my presence by plopping into the squishy arm

chair in the middle of the room. Rei and Makoto darted up from the

floor. When I saw Makoto staring at me bewilderded and shocked, I

unfolded my legs from beneath me and gave her a scrutinizing gaze.

And then I remembered staring at the same face before, watching it

drain in color and spill pools of blood onto my lap.

Before I could act, Makoto had launched herself onto my chair

and wrapped her arms around me in a bone-crushing grip. I gasped,

having nearly had the wind knocked out of me, but was happy to

return her hug.

"Mako-chan. I'm so glad you're alright." In a moment of

emotional vulnerability on both our parts, our eyes filled with

tears that we wiped away hastily.

Makoto smiled widely but instantly sobered, glaring at

me resentfully.

"Thanks to you, Ami, I'm alright. And thanks to you,

you nearly died out there, too."

I had the sense to look ashamed. I knew what I'd done

last night was irresponsible. I should have healed her enough

to assuage the necessary injuries and let her healing process handle

the rest. But when I looked back on it, I had been so scared that

I might lose one of my best friends when I'd had the capability

to prevent it that I felt obligated do to what I did.

Minako gingerly lifted Usagi's leg onto the couch and

joined our huddle.

"She's right, Ami-chan. And if you hadn't fainted

afterwards I would have crescent beamed you halfway around the

world myself." Her tone was harsh, and I knew she meant it.

"Look. I know what I did wasn't the most intelligent

thing to do, but I wasn't thinking with my head last night."

"Lay off her, minna-chan. Can you honestly say you

wouldn't have done the same thing if you were in her shoes?"

Usagi quipped. Minako and Makoto exchanged glances and sighed.

"I think it's safe to say that none of us were thinking

with our heads last night," Minako stated resentfully, reserving

her harshest gazes for Rei and Makoto, "Hot-headedness isn't going

to keep us alive. In the end, what we need is to work together

and WAIT-for-instructions."

It was times like these when I wasn't sure how Aino

Minako fit so many different personalities all inside her

tiny little body without self-combusting. A flicker of the

Moon Kingdom flashed before my eyes, but I didn't bother to

grasp at it. Fleeting memories like those were always quick

to appear and even quicker to disappear.

Makoto and Rei looked at each other solemnly,

understanding, and nodded compliantly to our leader. I was sure

I wasn't the only one who noticed the inner battle Rei had to wage

with herself before doing so, but that was her nature.

And as quick as Minako's eyes glazed over with steel and

authority, they sparked back to their usual vibrant, periwinkle

ovals and all was normal again.

Usagi moaned from the couch, "Now that we've finished busting

on each other for what we did or didn't do right yesterday," She tried

to rise and failed, screwing up her face in a grimace, "Will somebody

pass me the damn pretzels?"

Rei scoffed, Makoto rolled her eyes, Minako grinned, and I

obligingly handed her the bag.

"I thought you hated pretzels, Usa?" I inquired, taking a

few for myself.

She wrinkled her nose at me, "Well I WOULD have eaten the

Doritos, but I seem to remember a certain blue-haired young lady

hurling them at the wall?" She cast a knowing look at me and I

blushed.

"Oops...?"

I was promptly rewarded with an air-bourne pretzel

square in my face.

As much as I just wanted to curl up into a ball and

forget everything that had happened last night, I knew that

such a luxury was impossible at the moment. Minako wasted

no time in calling in the gaurdians and beginning a long,

long meeting that went on for about an hour before anyone

mentioned that Myora seemed to be keen on killing me. Or

torturing me. Or something. Whatever it was, it wasn't

good, and made me squirm in the chair I was sitting on

uncomfortably when Minako brought it into the forefront.

"I guess you were right, Luna. Myora must think that

Ami has the Hikari Gem," Minako said, absentmindedly scratching

Artemis behind his ears.

Luna nodded her head softly and padded over to me.

"Ami...? Did Myora mention anything specific last

night to you? Anything at all?" Her ruby eyes were large

with curiosity and the vault of knowlege she possessed.

I furrowed my brow and wondered why my hands were

shaking. I'd never been singled out like this before. Enemies

usually wanted the same thing: Usagi's ginzoushou.

"Yes, she said she wouldn't stop until she avenged

her father's death. Do you think Sarius is her father?"

Luna frowned. "I don't remember much of the Fall of

Mercury, but I am nearly positive that Sarius never had an

heir. My memories have failed me before, though," She flicked

her tail.

Rei piped up after a long silence, "But that doesn't

explain how she knew our identities. You perfected our disguise

powers years ago, Luna."

Before Luna could respond, Rei's front door banged open

revealing a very flustered Mamoru. He didn't waste any time and

securely locked the door before finally turning to face us.

"I think I lost them," He sighed dramatically and plopped

heavily onto the couch beside Usagi, eliciting a howl of pain

from her.

"Sorry, Usa," He said soothingly and allowed her to prop

her leg on his lap; his eyes then fell on me, "Ami-chan. Glad to

see you're finally awake."

I smiled sheepishly, "Who were you running from?"

He seemed confused, "They haven't told you yet?"

Minako glared darkly at him, and he took the hint to

shut up.

Curiosity got the better of me. "Told me what?"

"We'll tell you later, Ami-chan. Mamoru, what's that

behind your ear? Let me get that for you," Rei bent over

his head and smacked it with her palm.

"Ow! What was that for?!" He pouted. Rei mumbled

underneath her breath and sat back down.

After Usagi had finished barking at Rei for hurting

her boyfriend without her direct permission, things had

settled down enough for Mamoru to speak again. This time

he chose his words more carefully.

"Anyways, look at this," He removed a rolled up

newspaper from his coat pocket and unfurled it on the

coffee table. We all crowded around it and saw in huge,

black letters:

MTV TALENT SHOWCASE AMBUSHED: THE DEAD MISSING

Minako was the first to speak, "Missing? What

do they mean missing?

Darien urged us to read further. When we had all

finished, no one spoke.

My hands shook in my lap, and my eyes were large

with wonder.

"...rescuers arrived on the scene at 12:35 AM

last night to find the warehouse completely absent of any

signs of human life. The place itself lay in barely recognizable

ruins, the blood-drenched floor covered in rubble...

"My God..." Minako uttered finally.

Luna was pacing across the floor and muttering

underneath her breath rapidly.

"What would Myora want with a five hundred dead

bodies?" Usagi inquired; her eyes were filling with tears as

she spoke.

"Five hundred...what about the survivors?" Minako questioned,

skimming through the last paragraphs of the article.

"Only 32 survivors," She said with a tone of finality.

Makoto glared at the paper and didn't looked up for

a long time. My stomach flip-flopped in ways no internal organ

should have been capable of, and I felt nauseous.

"Damnit!" Minako bellowed, slamming her fist down

on the table and sending a few empty cans of soda toppling

towards the carpet. She rose, following Luna's example by

storming across the floor and back.

"Thirty-two survivors out of nearly FIVE hundred?!" She

ran her hands through her hair and kneaded her forehead,

"All those people are dead, and we should have stopped it!"

Mamoru stood and placed a hand on her shoulder, "You

guys did everything you could, Minako."

She threw his grip on her arm away and left the room.

Rei's bedroom door slammed shut, and we were silent again.

"Let her be, Rei-chan," Usagi said, stopping Rei in

her tracks as she headed for her bedroom.

"She's not about to run away from this now! She's our

leader, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let her cry like a

baby when we should be doing something to fix this!"

"And do you honestly think that you storming in there

and ripping her apart is going to help fix anything?" Usagi

said in an even tone, looking more like her mother than ever

before.

Rei breathed deeply for a moment and scoffed, walking

back to her place on the floor where she proceeded to glower.

We all sat in silence after that, listening to the

blizard rage outside and the tick-tock of the grandfather

clock in the corner until it was shattered by the ringing of

the telephone.

I jumped, as did everyone else, and Rei retrieved

the phone hastily.

"What?" She demanded.

...

"Jason, if you don't stop calling me, I'm not

going to be telling you anything!"

...

"Are you kidding me? You have got to be the most--"

...

"Fine."

...

"Today? Alright. Be here at 8."

...

"Bye."

She hung up the phone and glared at it before

turning back to us.

"They're coming at 8. We can't put it off any

longer anyway."

"OK. WHAT is everyone talking about?" I finally

demanded, tired of being left in the dark.

Rei turned to Mamoru who turned to Usagi who

finally turned to Makoto who rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll tell her. Ami, last night while you

were healing me, Zach had apparently sobered up and

came back to the warehouse to check on us. What he

found--well, you know what he found. Mamoru had

detransformed and was standing by his car with five

sailor senshi. Zach's a smart guy and he put the

pieces together."

My mouth dropped. He knew. They all knew.

Usagi moaned, "This is going to be a long

night. Who's gonna order the pizza?"

A half hour later, Minako still hadn't come

out of Rei's room, and I was getting a little ancy

to get out of there. I needed fresh air and time to

think on my own before having to explain to my boy-

friend that I'd been risking my neck saving the

world for the last five years.

Usagi and Mamoru had been quietly talking

the entire time, and Rei and Makoto had put in some

movie I hadn't been paying attention to. Luna and

Artemis braced themselves and crept into Rei's room

and hadn't been seen since.

I was increasingly feeling claustrophobic,

something I'd never experienced before. It was time

to go.

"Minna, I'm going to head home. I'll be back

at 7:30, alright?" Everyone's eyes followed me as I

walked silently to get my things and then unlocked

the front door, closing it on their concerned frowns

behind me.

I decided to walk home rather than take the

bus. The blizzard had subsided into random flurries

that clung to the coats and scarves of others who had

taken advantage of the change in weather.

I wanted to see Zach so badly that it hurt to think

about it, but the thought of what that meeting would bring

made me want to run to the farthest corner of the earth and

disappear.

Then there was the relief that I wouldn't have to

lie anymore. I settled on that happy thought as I shoved my

front door open and was greeted by my extremely frazzled

mother.

"Ami-chan! Thank God you're alright!"

I dropped my bag to the floor.

If I can get through this, seeing Zach'll be a piece of cake.

"Mom...hi."

As it turned out, Rei had called my mother and

told her that Makoto had fallen ill during the first hour

of the party and we all decided to go home with her to make

sure she was alright.

My mother went through the usual parental motions of

fretting over my health and everything and expressed her deep

relief that we hadn't been there for the attack. And then she

grabbed her coat and whisked off to the emergency room for

sugery that would last all night.

After the door had closed behind her, I felt like

dropping on the floor and sleeping away the rest of my

young adulthood until I was old and things were much less

complicated.

Ultimately, I settled for another shower. After

everything that had transpired since I'd woken up that

afternoon, I felt strangely dingy. It was only around

four thirty by then, so I figured that afterward I'd

devote the rest of the afternoon to reviewing my extensive

Anatomy notes to make up for my neglectory behavior the

past few weeks. I still had to figure out how I would beg

my way into convincing my Biology professor that I deserved

a make-up quiz.

As I contemplated, I turned the tap, adjusted the setting

on the shower head to massage and began to undress. But before

I could even step into the shower, the furious pounding of

fists sounded against my front door.

My heart raced inside of my chest; I was still

on edge from last night's battle and couldn't help but

feel a lurch of fear at what the new arrival could bring.

Grabbing my bathrobe, I tied it around my waist and

cautiously walked towards the foyer.

The fists subsided after a while, and I stood on

my tip-toes to peek through the eye-hole. After I realized

whose retreating back I was seeing, I immediately unlocked

the door and ran out.

"Zach, wait!"

He turned around, startled, and walked briskly

towards me. There was no relief in his eyes, no happiness

or spark of any emotion really. Just urgency.

I furrowed my brow, worried at his stony face, and

stepped aside as he whisked past me and into my apartment.

He grabbed my arm, and I moved my mouth to speak.

"Zach, what's--"

He cut me off, slamming his mouth against mine. I

was shocked and just stood there as he devoured my lips as

if in any moment we'd both disappear. My lips burned and were

bruising beneath his own, but I returned his kiss with as

much fervor as I had in my own exhaustion.

I had to breathe, but I was afraid to pull away.

The urgency that I'd recognized in his eyes had traveled into

his arms and now wrapped itself around my waist, not willing

to let me go just yet.

When I was sure I might suffocate, I pushed his arms

away gently, then his lips softened, and he was standing, breathless

in front of me. His green eyes were blazing with an emotion I

was slow to decipher, and he just stood there--staring.

He was scaring me. My hands shook at my sides, and my

crimson stained lips trembled. I wasn't even sure why I had

started to cry.

And then I was in his arms again. He held me tight around

my waist, stroking the back of my head gently. I didn't know what

to think, didn't know what to say or do or even if I wanted to break

the uncomfortable silence that had enveloped us.

His breaths became broken and heavy against my neck, and more

tears fell from my eyes.

"Za-ach..." I croaked.

He brought his head out from the crook of my neck

and rubbed his thumbs over my moist cheeks, the unidentifiable

emotion leaving his darkened eyes.

"You're scaring me, Zach."

My eyes wavered when he didn't respond to my voice, and I

reached up and brushed aside his bangs. My fingers hovered near his

ear, and I gasped when a tear slipped from his eyes.

"I-," He stopped speaking, struggling with something to

get his words together, "I'm sorry."

"I just..." He broke eye contact with me, gently taking me

in his arms again, "I thought I was going to lose you last night."

"Lose me?" I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, now

grasping the reason behind the turbulence of his gaze, "You're never

going to lose me, Zach."

He didn't say anything, and I let him hold me as long as it

took for him to open up again. It felt so indescribable being there

and comforting him for a change. I didn't want to fail him when he

needed me.

"I'm here, Zach. I'm fine," I brought his face to mine,

kissed his lips softly, and looked into his eyes intently.

He nodded barely, sighing heavily onto my forehead.

"How long?"

I stared at our entwined hands for a moment, "Since I was

in junior high." I rubbed the palms of his hands with my fingers

and tried to ease the gravity of the sitation.

"Jesus, Ami." He let go of my hands and ran his through

his hair and over his eyes.

"And do you always do that?" He seemed to be staring

straight through me, and I suddenly felt very aware of what I

was wearing even though his gaze was locked on only my eyes.

"Do what?"

"Risk your life like that without even thinking about

it?"

I heard traces of anger behind his words, but I

understood. My legs were aching from standing still for so

long, and I led him over to the couch where he gathered me

in his arms and sat beside me.

I wanted him to understand. I needed him to understand.

He grabbed my hands in his own, and I turned around to face him

completely.

"I had to heal her, Zach. She would have died, and

I couldn't have let that happen, even if it meant..."

"Even if it meant you...died?" He forced the last word

and looked away. I pulled his chin back towards me.

"And you would have done the same for Kyle or Jason or

Matt," I reasoned.

His stone face melted slowly, and my heart fluttered

when his eyes finally returned to their normal color.

"You have a point, but," He rubbed my hands together

in his own, "When I saw you there, giving your life away without

even a second thought, all I could think about was that you

would be gone."

I started to speak, but he pressed his fingers on

my lips to silence me, "I've never had to deal with those

feelings with anyone else before, and I want you to know

that you mean...so much to me, Ami."

My head was swirling. Was he really saying these

things to me? Before I could stop them, my walls appeared

out of no where and slammed my heart shut, but they weren't

as strong as they used to be. They'd been weakened by the man

sitting in front of me, cracked by the sincerity in his voice

and the light in eyes.

"I love you, Ami-chan."

-------------------------------------------------------

Review! It's good for the

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

12/27/03 (7/19/04)