Chapter 9 ~ In Motion
Professor Snape finally managed to contact them only 3 days before the Christmas Holiday. Lord Voldemort, tired of operating covertly to attract followers, was planning to abduct several people in key positions, most notably, Percy Weasley. Percy was still being hard headed about returning to the family. Although it had been proven to him that his parents had been correct, he was still refusing to have anything to do with them. According to Snape, the targets in question, over twenty young witches and wizards in all, were to be rounded up on Christmas Eve. Professor Dumbledore sat again at the head of the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, recounting everything Snape had reported to the rest of The Order.
It was decided that the school would have to be emptied for Christmas to allow the professors free movement. Professor McGonagal hurried off to see to this as they continued to come up with a way to protect Percy and the others. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley immediately sent him an owl, inviting him to spend Christmas at the Burrow, but without much hope. He hadn't answered their last 2 owls at all.
When it appeared that the meeting was concluded, Muriel took Professor Dumbledore aside, not noticing that Sirius was also lingering in the kitchen. "I think it would be a good idea to concentrate on capturing Severus." She spoke quietly, but urgently.
Dumbledore, knowing better than to disregard her warnings out of hand, nodded thoughtfully. "Are you in contact with him?"
She nodded as well. "He's concerned that they might be on to him. If we captured him on Christmas Eve I don't think it would be too soon. And I," she paused, noticing Sirius' presence as he levitated the dishes from the table to the sink. She lowered her voice. "I may have a plan for how to catch him. Possibly it will help us with the other problem we discussed as well."
Dumbledore looked intently at her, then steered her into the hallway, out of Sirius' earshot. "Are you referring to Draco?"
She nodded. "I cast the spell last night, and was able to talk with Severus briefly. He's staying with the Malfoys just now. With Draco staying at the school over break, I'm sure it will work." She knew Sirius was listening from just inside the kitchen door, but she continued on doggedly. This was too important to ignore, even for the sake of his feelings. "When we were young Severus and I came up with a great many curses and hexes and potions. You know the kind of families we were raised in, so you can imagine that some were pretty nasty. I remember once I crossed the Cruciatus curse with an everstick spell. We were only 9 years old, two years before Hogwarts." Professor Dumbledore cringed, but nodded. "I reminded him of that spell last night. I know the spell, but only he knows the counter spell. I cursed him and didn't see him again for over a week. It took him two days to figure out the counter spell, and almost a week to recover from it." She paused again, and saw that Dumbledore was beginning to see her plan. "Severus is perfectly capable of deflecting the spell back to me. I'll not block it. Someone will have to be on hand to get me out of there. Then, if Draco could just happen to see me in the hospital wing and learn that Severus is the only one who can help me, I think Draco will bring Severus to the school. I've always been kind to that boy, and I really think he would do it. That would conveniently catch Severus for us. He knows the plan and will allow Draco to kidnap him. It will also force Draco to choose, which is what he needs right now more than anything. If we let him just stew, he'll end up with the mark, just like Sev did." She looked at Dumbledore again. She knew it was a good plan, but he was hesitating. Finally, he nodded. Then, after fixing her with another searching stare, he left.
Muriel turned to head upstairs. She could feel Sirius, seething, in the kitchen. For the millionth time, she wished she could turn that ability off. She changed direction mid-stride, and went back into the kitchen. He was right where she'd pictured him, just inside the doorway. She walked past him and began enchanting the dishes to wash before he began.
"So you'd do it all again? That's what that means, you know." She was surprised by how quietly he spoke. She could feel the anger emanating from him, but he sounded more hurt than angry.
"Black, I should think you of all people would understand why I couldn't hand Severus over to the Ministry of Magic. He hadn't really DONE anything, discounting his father's death. The bastard had forced him into becoming a Death Eater. I just couldn't send an innocent man to Azkaban." She knew he was stung by these words, but continued anyway. "Maybe when I left you couldn't understand, but surely now you can forgive me."
"But you must've known they'd count you a traitor. You must have realized that letting him go meant giving up all the plans we'd made." His voice was still quieter. She couldn't help but think how different he was from the angry young man he had been. Still rash, yes, but with a sense of responsibility that wasn't there before. He was waiting for her to respond, but she didn't know what to say.
"You're still very angry. I had better -" she'd been about to say goodbye, but he cut her off. Apparently she'd said the wrong thing.
"OF COURSE I'M ANGRY. HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO FEEL?" She felt the tears coming to her eyes, but blinked them away as he continued, more quietly. She realized the whole house was still, and was pretty sure that the Weasleys, somewhere upstairs, had heard his outburst. "That's what it comes down to, really. After these past three months of tiptoeing around the subject, that's the question that matters. How do you want me to feel?" He sounded utterly dejected.
She sat down at the half-cleared table, holding her head up with her hands as though her neck didn't have the strength. "Do you remember," she whispered, "that last Hogsmeade Weekend, of our 6th year? Severus had asked me to go with him, but I didn't think anything of it, since we'd always gone together. He knew I was seeing someone, but I hadn't told him whom. Everyone else was nice enough to keep quiet too, although I think Potter was tempted." She looked up carefully. He had sat down across from her, and the corners of his mouth quivered slightly at this last comment.
"I had to threaten to banish him to Africa to keep him from telling anyone."
"Anyway," she went on, hoping he would be able to hear her out, "we saw you and you waved, and we had that horrible row. I know you heard it because you'd only just passed us a few moments before." She stopped again, waiting for an acknowledgement.
"We heard it, but I sent James and Lily on ahead so I could come find you when it was over."
"There were some things you didn't hear, though, things he didn't say because they would have been more embarrassing to him than to me. You didn't hear that only an hour earlier he'd tried to drag me into Madam Puddifoot's TeaRoom and I refused.
"I didn't need to hear that to know how he felt. Everyone could see it but you." Sirius' voice finally sounded less strained, so Muriel tried to continue.
"A lifetime spent as my best friend had forced him to learn to hide emotion. I just couldn't believe he loved me because I couldn't feel it from him at all. It was deceit, but it didn't hurt anyone but him. He never spoke to me again after that day. He closed his mind up so tight that the night I caught him I didn't know it was he until I'd pulled back his cowl. That was, what, two years later? A good two months after the Potters' wedding, at least."
"And you know, I tried again to get back, when I heard about what happened." She added this suddenly, as though it pained her to say it. "I tried everything I knew. My father had the entire floo network under surveillance, and every witch or wizard that went through was tested for poly juice potion. He intercepted every letter I tried to send. I got almost no news at all. My father died years ago and I didn't even know it until just last September when I was in the Aurors' office talking to - " here she paused, realizing that she'd slipped up. She hadn't been intending to tell him that.
"That would explain why the papers didn't say who'd caught him," Sirius said, understanding immediately. Then, finally, he smiled. "It also explains why Fudge gave you the okay to come back, and how you got them to let you pull me out of the archway." Now he was chuckling, "You are something else, you know that?"
"First Auror to come out of Ravenclaw in 80 years," she replied, glad to finally feel the butterflies in her stomach settling down. She met his eyes, wondering if she dared to say it, now that things were less tense, and decided she did. "So, how do I want you to feel?" The smile vanished from his face, and he looked suddenly serious again. "I want you to feel whole, Sirius." She reached a hand across the table, and he took it in both of his, and they sat that way in silence.
Professor Snape finally managed to contact them only 3 days before the Christmas Holiday. Lord Voldemort, tired of operating covertly to attract followers, was planning to abduct several people in key positions, most notably, Percy Weasley. Percy was still being hard headed about returning to the family. Although it had been proven to him that his parents had been correct, he was still refusing to have anything to do with them. According to Snape, the targets in question, over twenty young witches and wizards in all, were to be rounded up on Christmas Eve. Professor Dumbledore sat again at the head of the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, recounting everything Snape had reported to the rest of The Order.
It was decided that the school would have to be emptied for Christmas to allow the professors free movement. Professor McGonagal hurried off to see to this as they continued to come up with a way to protect Percy and the others. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley immediately sent him an owl, inviting him to spend Christmas at the Burrow, but without much hope. He hadn't answered their last 2 owls at all.
When it appeared that the meeting was concluded, Muriel took Professor Dumbledore aside, not noticing that Sirius was also lingering in the kitchen. "I think it would be a good idea to concentrate on capturing Severus." She spoke quietly, but urgently.
Dumbledore, knowing better than to disregard her warnings out of hand, nodded thoughtfully. "Are you in contact with him?"
She nodded as well. "He's concerned that they might be on to him. If we captured him on Christmas Eve I don't think it would be too soon. And I," she paused, noticing Sirius' presence as he levitated the dishes from the table to the sink. She lowered her voice. "I may have a plan for how to catch him. Possibly it will help us with the other problem we discussed as well."
Dumbledore looked intently at her, then steered her into the hallway, out of Sirius' earshot. "Are you referring to Draco?"
She nodded. "I cast the spell last night, and was able to talk with Severus briefly. He's staying with the Malfoys just now. With Draco staying at the school over break, I'm sure it will work." She knew Sirius was listening from just inside the kitchen door, but she continued on doggedly. This was too important to ignore, even for the sake of his feelings. "When we were young Severus and I came up with a great many curses and hexes and potions. You know the kind of families we were raised in, so you can imagine that some were pretty nasty. I remember once I crossed the Cruciatus curse with an everstick spell. We were only 9 years old, two years before Hogwarts." Professor Dumbledore cringed, but nodded. "I reminded him of that spell last night. I know the spell, but only he knows the counter spell. I cursed him and didn't see him again for over a week. It took him two days to figure out the counter spell, and almost a week to recover from it." She paused again, and saw that Dumbledore was beginning to see her plan. "Severus is perfectly capable of deflecting the spell back to me. I'll not block it. Someone will have to be on hand to get me out of there. Then, if Draco could just happen to see me in the hospital wing and learn that Severus is the only one who can help me, I think Draco will bring Severus to the school. I've always been kind to that boy, and I really think he would do it. That would conveniently catch Severus for us. He knows the plan and will allow Draco to kidnap him. It will also force Draco to choose, which is what he needs right now more than anything. If we let him just stew, he'll end up with the mark, just like Sev did." She looked at Dumbledore again. She knew it was a good plan, but he was hesitating. Finally, he nodded. Then, after fixing her with another searching stare, he left.
Muriel turned to head upstairs. She could feel Sirius, seething, in the kitchen. For the millionth time, she wished she could turn that ability off. She changed direction mid-stride, and went back into the kitchen. He was right where she'd pictured him, just inside the doorway. She walked past him and began enchanting the dishes to wash before he began.
"So you'd do it all again? That's what that means, you know." She was surprised by how quietly he spoke. She could feel the anger emanating from him, but he sounded more hurt than angry.
"Black, I should think you of all people would understand why I couldn't hand Severus over to the Ministry of Magic. He hadn't really DONE anything, discounting his father's death. The bastard had forced him into becoming a Death Eater. I just couldn't send an innocent man to Azkaban." She knew he was stung by these words, but continued anyway. "Maybe when I left you couldn't understand, but surely now you can forgive me."
"But you must've known they'd count you a traitor. You must have realized that letting him go meant giving up all the plans we'd made." His voice was still quieter. She couldn't help but think how different he was from the angry young man he had been. Still rash, yes, but with a sense of responsibility that wasn't there before. He was waiting for her to respond, but she didn't know what to say.
"You're still very angry. I had better -" she'd been about to say goodbye, but he cut her off. Apparently she'd said the wrong thing.
"OF COURSE I'M ANGRY. HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO FEEL?" She felt the tears coming to her eyes, but blinked them away as he continued, more quietly. She realized the whole house was still, and was pretty sure that the Weasleys, somewhere upstairs, had heard his outburst. "That's what it comes down to, really. After these past three months of tiptoeing around the subject, that's the question that matters. How do you want me to feel?" He sounded utterly dejected.
She sat down at the half-cleared table, holding her head up with her hands as though her neck didn't have the strength. "Do you remember," she whispered, "that last Hogsmeade Weekend, of our 6th year? Severus had asked me to go with him, but I didn't think anything of it, since we'd always gone together. He knew I was seeing someone, but I hadn't told him whom. Everyone else was nice enough to keep quiet too, although I think Potter was tempted." She looked up carefully. He had sat down across from her, and the corners of his mouth quivered slightly at this last comment.
"I had to threaten to banish him to Africa to keep him from telling anyone."
"Anyway," she went on, hoping he would be able to hear her out, "we saw you and you waved, and we had that horrible row. I know you heard it because you'd only just passed us a few moments before." She stopped again, waiting for an acknowledgement.
"We heard it, but I sent James and Lily on ahead so I could come find you when it was over."
"There were some things you didn't hear, though, things he didn't say because they would have been more embarrassing to him than to me. You didn't hear that only an hour earlier he'd tried to drag me into Madam Puddifoot's TeaRoom and I refused.
"I didn't need to hear that to know how he felt. Everyone could see it but you." Sirius' voice finally sounded less strained, so Muriel tried to continue.
"A lifetime spent as my best friend had forced him to learn to hide emotion. I just couldn't believe he loved me because I couldn't feel it from him at all. It was deceit, but it didn't hurt anyone but him. He never spoke to me again after that day. He closed his mind up so tight that the night I caught him I didn't know it was he until I'd pulled back his cowl. That was, what, two years later? A good two months after the Potters' wedding, at least."
"And you know, I tried again to get back, when I heard about what happened." She added this suddenly, as though it pained her to say it. "I tried everything I knew. My father had the entire floo network under surveillance, and every witch or wizard that went through was tested for poly juice potion. He intercepted every letter I tried to send. I got almost no news at all. My father died years ago and I didn't even know it until just last September when I was in the Aurors' office talking to - " here she paused, realizing that she'd slipped up. She hadn't been intending to tell him that.
"That would explain why the papers didn't say who'd caught him," Sirius said, understanding immediately. Then, finally, he smiled. "It also explains why Fudge gave you the okay to come back, and how you got them to let you pull me out of the archway." Now he was chuckling, "You are something else, you know that?"
"First Auror to come out of Ravenclaw in 80 years," she replied, glad to finally feel the butterflies in her stomach settling down. She met his eyes, wondering if she dared to say it, now that things were less tense, and decided she did. "So, how do I want you to feel?" The smile vanished from his face, and he looked suddenly serious again. "I want you to feel whole, Sirius." She reached a hand across the table, and he took it in both of his, and they sat that way in silence.