It was Harry Potter's eighteenth birthday, and he was having the time of his life. Not only had his friends bought twelve kegs of firewhiskey, but also Ron had hired magical strippers whose clothes simply disappeared.
"This is a great night, Ron!" Harry shouted over the music, as bats flew about the ceiling.
"If you think this is great, you just picture your buck's night!" Ron shouted back, as he caught the eye of a particularly voluptuous stripper and winked.
Harry cast an eye over the place. Everyone was having the time of their lives – even Hermione. Harry almost jumped out of his skin when he saw her in the corner, making out with some unknown guy.
"My god, look at Hermione!" He said to Ron. Ron looked over at her, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he sprayed out his firewhisky all over Harry, who wiped it off his face.
"She must have had a lot of this stuff!" Ron yelled, indicating the drink in his hand. And sure enough, Hermione sprang off the unknown guy, and ran off to the bathroom, hand over her mouth. "I'd better go see if she's ok."
Harry laughed, wondering about what Ron might try on Hermione, provided she wasn't unconscious. Surely he'd make her rinse out her mouth first. Hopefully. Pushing all dirty thoughts about Hermione and Ron out of his mind, he looked around the room again. Everyone was kissing everyone here. Except for him. Even the guy Hermione had just been snogging had already hooked up with a different girl. He needed to find someone to do, he had to, if there was one night in his life that he had to sleep with someone, he knew this would be it. And it was almost midnight – it wouldn't even be his birthday anymore in fifteen minutes.
He stood up from his chair and immediately fell down again. –Ah, the pleasures of drinking whilst in a seated position – he thought, grinning to himself. – You never know when you're near paralytic. –
Getting up from the floor, he cricked his neck and flexed his almost nonexistent muscles and strutted over to the nearest girl, then, in horror, he realised that it was a girl with the ugliest face he had ever seen. Backing away, he backed into a girl with long red hair and green eyes.
"Hi, uh, babe..." He murmured drunkenly, stooping unintentionally so he looked like a hunchback. "Wha – wha's ya name, gorgeous."
"None of your business," She said, smiling sweetly.
"Ok then None of Your Business... I only have another ten minutes of my birthday left and I –"
"No."
"– I just wondered – "
"No."
"– Oh pleeeeeeease – "
"No."
"– Come ooooooooooon – "
"No."
"Argh! Screw you then."
"Isn't that what I've been refusing?"
"Go away, you... you... sea monster." He said, caught for something to say. He knew it sounded feeble and petty, and the girl laughed at him before exiting the room with another guy, who was much better looking than Harry.
"Not on my bed!" He called out to them, then collapsed in a fit of giggles. Getting up, he drew in a breath and opened his mouth to put the proposition to another girl, but she said no before he could get a word out. So, sullen- faced and upset, he tramped across the house to his bedroom, and flicked on the light. Kicking Hermione and Ron out of there, he flopped down on his bed, looking at the clock. It read 11.55pm.
"Five minutes! All I want is five minutes. But no!" He cried. Closing his eyes, he felt very sorry for himself. He heard a flapping of wings and something pad down on his bed. As he felt a familiar nip on the finger, he opened his eyes and looked over at his owl, Hedwig, staring at him with big, pitying eyes. She chirruped and blinked, seeming to be trying to cheer Harry up.
"Hi Hedwig." He muttered, stroking the bird's snowy head with one hand. Hedwig. She had always been there for him, through thick and thin, carrying his messages for him like no other. He stared into her big, beautiful, brown eyes, then glanced at the clock. 11.59pm...
-----
Meanwhile, back at the party...
Many heads turned as a loud, shrill squawk emitted from Harry's room. The patrons of the party all turned their heads back and resumed their chatting, except for one Cho Chang, who hurriedly rushed to Harry's room. Opening the door, she saw Hedwig scrambling off the bed and flying out the window, and Harry zipping his pants up with a guilty expression on his face.
"I think I'm going to be sick." She said, and, true to her word, she ruined Harry's priceless Persian rug. "Why on earth?"
"Hey, you know how it is –"
"I would've bloody well done you, but you never asked, did you?"
"Well it's too late now isn't it! It's midnight!"
"I wouldn't do you now if you paid me. I like guys who prefer their own species."
-----
Five years later...
Harry sighed as he drove home alone again. He remembered the fateful night, five years previous, where he had been so desperate he had... no, he couldn't bear to think of it. When Hedwig hadn't returned that night, he bought himself another owl, a large, tawny this time. He made sure it was the ugliest owl in the entire shop. He never wanted to repeat the scene of five years previous.
-----
Emily: Me too! Wow, we must be long lost twins or something.
Brandy: Hmm I think I can do that... if you're reading this then I suppose I have.
Mooncheese: Nice name... As you can see, I do not joke about such matters of Harry/Hedwig. It is a very –snif- beautiful pairing... Haha, not.
Megan: Thank you! Dude, if you thought THAT one was creepy, what on earth do you think of THIS one?
-----
Well, there's chapter two. Stay with us now, for chapter three: Remus/Sprout. Not quite as exciting as good old Harry/Hedwig, but still.
"This is a great night, Ron!" Harry shouted over the music, as bats flew about the ceiling.
"If you think this is great, you just picture your buck's night!" Ron shouted back, as he caught the eye of a particularly voluptuous stripper and winked.
Harry cast an eye over the place. Everyone was having the time of their lives – even Hermione. Harry almost jumped out of his skin when he saw her in the corner, making out with some unknown guy.
"My god, look at Hermione!" He said to Ron. Ron looked over at her, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he sprayed out his firewhisky all over Harry, who wiped it off his face.
"She must have had a lot of this stuff!" Ron yelled, indicating the drink in his hand. And sure enough, Hermione sprang off the unknown guy, and ran off to the bathroom, hand over her mouth. "I'd better go see if she's ok."
Harry laughed, wondering about what Ron might try on Hermione, provided she wasn't unconscious. Surely he'd make her rinse out her mouth first. Hopefully. Pushing all dirty thoughts about Hermione and Ron out of his mind, he looked around the room again. Everyone was kissing everyone here. Except for him. Even the guy Hermione had just been snogging had already hooked up with a different girl. He needed to find someone to do, he had to, if there was one night in his life that he had to sleep with someone, he knew this would be it. And it was almost midnight – it wouldn't even be his birthday anymore in fifteen minutes.
He stood up from his chair and immediately fell down again. –Ah, the pleasures of drinking whilst in a seated position – he thought, grinning to himself. – You never know when you're near paralytic. –
Getting up from the floor, he cricked his neck and flexed his almost nonexistent muscles and strutted over to the nearest girl, then, in horror, he realised that it was a girl with the ugliest face he had ever seen. Backing away, he backed into a girl with long red hair and green eyes.
"Hi, uh, babe..." He murmured drunkenly, stooping unintentionally so he looked like a hunchback. "Wha – wha's ya name, gorgeous."
"None of your business," She said, smiling sweetly.
"Ok then None of Your Business... I only have another ten minutes of my birthday left and I –"
"No."
"– I just wondered – "
"No."
"– Oh pleeeeeeease – "
"No."
"– Come ooooooooooon – "
"No."
"Argh! Screw you then."
"Isn't that what I've been refusing?"
"Go away, you... you... sea monster." He said, caught for something to say. He knew it sounded feeble and petty, and the girl laughed at him before exiting the room with another guy, who was much better looking than Harry.
"Not on my bed!" He called out to them, then collapsed in a fit of giggles. Getting up, he drew in a breath and opened his mouth to put the proposition to another girl, but she said no before he could get a word out. So, sullen- faced and upset, he tramped across the house to his bedroom, and flicked on the light. Kicking Hermione and Ron out of there, he flopped down on his bed, looking at the clock. It read 11.55pm.
"Five minutes! All I want is five minutes. But no!" He cried. Closing his eyes, he felt very sorry for himself. He heard a flapping of wings and something pad down on his bed. As he felt a familiar nip on the finger, he opened his eyes and looked over at his owl, Hedwig, staring at him with big, pitying eyes. She chirruped and blinked, seeming to be trying to cheer Harry up.
"Hi Hedwig." He muttered, stroking the bird's snowy head with one hand. Hedwig. She had always been there for him, through thick and thin, carrying his messages for him like no other. He stared into her big, beautiful, brown eyes, then glanced at the clock. 11.59pm...
-----
Meanwhile, back at the party...
Many heads turned as a loud, shrill squawk emitted from Harry's room. The patrons of the party all turned their heads back and resumed their chatting, except for one Cho Chang, who hurriedly rushed to Harry's room. Opening the door, she saw Hedwig scrambling off the bed and flying out the window, and Harry zipping his pants up with a guilty expression on his face.
"I think I'm going to be sick." She said, and, true to her word, she ruined Harry's priceless Persian rug. "Why on earth?"
"Hey, you know how it is –"
"I would've bloody well done you, but you never asked, did you?"
"Well it's too late now isn't it! It's midnight!"
"I wouldn't do you now if you paid me. I like guys who prefer their own species."
-----
Five years later...
Harry sighed as he drove home alone again. He remembered the fateful night, five years previous, where he had been so desperate he had... no, he couldn't bear to think of it. When Hedwig hadn't returned that night, he bought himself another owl, a large, tawny this time. He made sure it was the ugliest owl in the entire shop. He never wanted to repeat the scene of five years previous.
-----
Emily: Me too! Wow, we must be long lost twins or something.
Brandy: Hmm I think I can do that... if you're reading this then I suppose I have.
Mooncheese: Nice name... As you can see, I do not joke about such matters of Harry/Hedwig. It is a very –snif- beautiful pairing... Haha, not.
Megan: Thank you! Dude, if you thought THAT one was creepy, what on earth do you think of THIS one?
-----
Well, there's chapter two. Stay with us now, for chapter three: Remus/Sprout. Not quite as exciting as good old Harry/Hedwig, but still.