Hi! It's been quite a while, no? Anyway, this is the next instalment: REMUS/SPROUT! Anywho, it will be all in letter/note form. Enjoy! Oh, and I don't know Sprout's name, so it will be Leify, cos I like that name, and also it's funny, you know, Leify Sprout.
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Moony,
Charms next. Will be really boring.
Padfoot
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Padfoot,
I am quite aware of that fact.
Moony
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Moo-cow,
But you like Sprout, don't you? The Hufflepuff one. She's in Charms.
Paddles
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Sanitary Pad,
Please shutup. We have to go to Charms. And her name is Leify, by the way.
Mooning you
P.S. Please do not call me Moo-cow. I am not a moo, neither am I a cow. Therefore, it makes no sense at all to refer to me as 'Moo-cow'.
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Mary Moo-Cow,
You like her. I can tell.
Paddy
P.S. I am not a sanitary pad. It might be nice, though, to be one. I think that's what I'll be in my next life. On the one side it will be women's underwear, and on the other side – well, you know.
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Padded cell,
You are revolting. As if you would want to go near a girl's you-know-what when she's you-know-when. Hereby never talking to you again.
Man on the Moon
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To Remus
Hi, in case you hadn't noticed, it's Leify. From Charms. Yes, from Charms. We are in Charms at the moment, therefore making perfect sense of the fact I am passing a note to you. I noticed you looking a bit angry with Sirius. What's he doing this time? But you know, in case you don't want to say or something, that's fine too.
Peace.
Leify
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Hi Leify.
Sirius is being a butt-hole. Ah. He has now noticed you passing a note to me, and me replying. He is now proceeding to wet himself, almost. Write back, I want to see what colour the Professor's face goes when Sirius actually does wet himself.
Remus
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Ah. Sirius the butt-hole, wetting himself. What a mature person you are.
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Of course I'm mature. On the inside, I am over sixty-five. That technically qualifies me for pension, but you try telling those government agents that you're just mature for your age.
Sirius seems to think we're writing lovey-dovey notes. Humour him for me, will you? Will show him a lovey-dovey note, maybe he will wet himself.
Remus
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Mature, and funny. You might be the perfect guy, if YOU weren't a complete butt-hole. Ah – lovey-dovey stuff.
Oh Remus, how I love you so. Hmmm, want to shag tonight?
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Love to. Sirius will be out tonight, let's use his bed.
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To Leify and Remus,
This is Sirius. You ever have penetration on MY BED, and I will personally see to it that your arms and legs are cut off.
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We could always use James' bed.
Remus
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What's wrong with yours?
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Don't know. Keeping the lovey-dovey thing going on.
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But Sirius isn't even reading over your shoulder anymore.
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0.o
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Remus?
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What
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I think I'd like to keep the lovey-dovey thing going on, too.
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I think you were right before. There really is nothing wrong with my bed.
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That was the end of that chapter, best of all, it only took 20 minutes to do! YAY! Stay tuned for next time: Neville/Luna!
Legolas-Obsessionist: I love your name! I wish it was mine, but it isn't. Ron and his broom... I was considering for a second, but then realised that a broomstick would not only be more disgusting than Hedwig, (because of where he would put it) it's not an actual character.
Mooncheese: If I was an owl and Harry did that, I wouldn't return either. Beansprout... haha. Oh well, see above for the reasons why a beansprout is not a good pairing, except exchange the word "broom" for "beansprout".