uChapter three – Bleeding Wounds/u
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iAs he died, he will return to die in me again./i
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Hermione was lying on her back in the grass, staring at the bright sun that was shining merrily; a soft breeze was blowing trough her hair.
Silent tears were rolling out of the corners of her eyes, leaving a black trail of flown out make-up on her cheeks.
It had been a day since the meeting with the Dark Lord, and she was thinking about the memories she had seen while Malfoy had been combing out her thoughts. She closed her eyes.
Why couldn't these thoughts just lave her alone?
These memories were just like wounds; every time you thought they had almost healed, they were scratched open, and started bleeding once more.
'Hello.'
Hermione opened her eyes with a start to find Malfoy's face hovering above her.
'For God's sake, Malfoy! You frightened me to death!' She shouted.
'No, I didn't.' He said simply. 'You're still alive.'
He flopped down next to her, and she hastily wiped away her tears.
'I want to excuse myself for… eh.' Draco hesitated, 'For yesterday.'
'I don't need your excuses, Malfoy. You knew perfectly well what you where doing yesterday, so there's no point in regretting it now.'
Hermione looked away from him; she didn't think she could bear a conversation whith Malfoy about this? She didn't want to go trough everything once more.
'C'mon, Hermione. I'm really sorry.'
'Leave me alone, Malfoy.'
Draco put his hand on her shoulder; and she turned around to face him. To her surprise she saw that he was looking more serious that she had ever seen him before.
'Why, Malfoy. Why? Why do you regret now what you did?' she asked.
'I didn't know about all that stuff. About Potter-' He began.
Of course she knew what he was talking about. Her darkest memory had revealed itself in front of Malfoy.
'Well, it was obviously not my intention to make you know that.' She said, frowning.
'But what, I mean… eh…' Malfoy clearly didn't know what to say or how to say it.
He cleared his throat.
'Eh… I didn't really understand that memory actually. I mean, you were seeing the Weasel, so why Potter?'
Hermione remained silent, she hadn't talked about this to anyone, leave alone she would tell it to no-one less than Draco Malfoy himself.
'I… eh… I-' She stuttered.
FLASHBACK
iHarry looked into Hermione's eyes; his vivid green ones were twinkling in a way she had never seen before.
Harry bent forwards and his lips toughed hers.
She closed her eyes and felt Harry's tongue entering her mouth. Her tongue, too, found her way into Harry's mouth.
Harry put his arms around her waist; his tongue entering her mouth more deeply.
'What the devil are you doing?'
Ron had entered the room, he was staring at them in disbelieve.
'And I thought you loved me!'
Ron turned around, left the room, and slammed the door shut.
Hermione looked at Harry in disgust, and smacked him in the face.
She ran towards the door as calling:
'Ron! It's not what you think!'/i
FLASHBACK
A dry sob escaped her mouth, and silent tears started rolling over her cheeks once more.
'It happened the day before ihe/i died…' she said silently 'I never wanted to- '
She sobbed another time.
'I never had the chance to make it up with him!'
Hermione wept, put her arms around Draco's neck, and started to sob hysterically.
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Everything seemed to have changed ever since that day: she didn't completely ihate/i him any more, but you couldn't say she liked him either. I mean, he had comforted her, but you can't expect her to really like the one who knew just everything about her…
No, she had just ignored him ever since. She had ignored about the whole world ever since. OK, she knew that wasn't a really good option, especially not if you considered she had received a letter this morning that made avoiding Malfoy completely impossible.
iDear Ms Granger,
I am glad to inform you that you have been chosen as Head Girl of Hogwarts during her final year. Mr Draco Malfoy has been chosen as Head Boy.
You will share Private Rooms together, and you'll both be responsible for the students at Hogwarts and the tasks of the Hogwarts Prefects.
Further information is enclosed in a second letter.
Yours sincerely,
Professor M. McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts/i
A silvery badge with the initials H.G. (A/N: I know it's quite confusing but the H.G. stands for "Head Girl" and not "Hermione Granger", OK?) had been enclosed too.
Hermione took the badge once more, and looked at it, the previous years she would have done anything to receive this, and now it didn't seem important anymore.
However, the Dark Lord did seem to think it was an important thing to have two of his Death Eaters at the top of the school, he appeared to think it had its iadvantages/i. He had made that clear as he summoned them this morning just after she'd received this letter. God may now how he always manages to know everything that quickly, she had thought while she hurriedly changed her black pyjamas into wizard robes.
Of course there were rewards for her too as she became the Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for one The Private Rooms; it was a pity she needed to share them with Malfoy though. But she didn't need to visit that lousy Gryffindor Common Room every day any longer.
She had hated it in there ever since last year: Potter was really worshipped in there, and she could not at all pretend she was one of those silly girls who loved Potter because he was "the-boy-who-lived", (ihe/i better had been the boy who died! She though bitterly). It was incredible however to see how many girls did love him… It made her sick.
She saw the picture of her kissing Harry in her head, and shivered her eye fell on a photo of Ron, which was standing on the windowsill. She stumbled towards it and took it in her hands. She whispered:
'I'm so sorry, Ron. I'm so terribly sorry for what I've done to you.'
She fell down the floor, and shouted at the ceiling.
'I do not deserve this badge; I don't even deserve this life. Oh, Ron. I have nothing left! Though I've tried to forget, you'll all that I am. I'm trough fighting it. I give up! Without you I can't go on, anymore, ever again! It was me who needed to die, not you….'
The last sentence was barely more than a whisper. Tears were steaming over her face, as she was wailing there desperately. Sobbing like mad, sitting on her knees, clutching her face with her hands deepening the pits her nails had created. Rocking back and forth.
Hermione went to the bathroom, trembling, and threw some ice cold water in her face to calm down. She looked in the mirror.
She almost didn't recognize herself, she was thin, her body was really pale, and her eyes were red and swollen, partly because of the cold water, but the water couldn't reveal the tears that had rolled over her face the previous seconds, minutes, hours or even months.
She could taste the salty flavour of tears on her lips, and swallowed.
Hermione lifted her hands and beat the mirror in fury and impotence. It shattered into a thousand pieces. There were cuts in her hands and under arms, they were bleeding heavily. But she did not care; she just cried and fell on the ground.
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i Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong
Moonlight on the soft brown earth
It leads me to where you lay
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home/i
/center
center
iAs he died, he will return to die in me again./i
/center
Hermione was lying on her back in the grass, staring at the bright sun that was shining merrily; a soft breeze was blowing trough her hair.
Silent tears were rolling out of the corners of her eyes, leaving a black trail of flown out make-up on her cheeks.
It had been a day since the meeting with the Dark Lord, and she was thinking about the memories she had seen while Malfoy had been combing out her thoughts. She closed her eyes.
Why couldn't these thoughts just lave her alone?
These memories were just like wounds; every time you thought they had almost healed, they were scratched open, and started bleeding once more.
'Hello.'
Hermione opened her eyes with a start to find Malfoy's face hovering above her.
'For God's sake, Malfoy! You frightened me to death!' She shouted.
'No, I didn't.' He said simply. 'You're still alive.'
He flopped down next to her, and she hastily wiped away her tears.
'I want to excuse myself for… eh.' Draco hesitated, 'For yesterday.'
'I don't need your excuses, Malfoy. You knew perfectly well what you where doing yesterday, so there's no point in regretting it now.'
Hermione looked away from him; she didn't think she could bear a conversation whith Malfoy about this? She didn't want to go trough everything once more.
'C'mon, Hermione. I'm really sorry.'
'Leave me alone, Malfoy.'
Draco put his hand on her shoulder; and she turned around to face him. To her surprise she saw that he was looking more serious that she had ever seen him before.
'Why, Malfoy. Why? Why do you regret now what you did?' she asked.
'I didn't know about all that stuff. About Potter-' He began.
Of course she knew what he was talking about. Her darkest memory had revealed itself in front of Malfoy.
'Well, it was obviously not my intention to make you know that.' She said, frowning.
'But what, I mean… eh…' Malfoy clearly didn't know what to say or how to say it.
He cleared his throat.
'Eh… I didn't really understand that memory actually. I mean, you were seeing the Weasel, so why Potter?'
Hermione remained silent, she hadn't talked about this to anyone, leave alone she would tell it to no-one less than Draco Malfoy himself.
'I… eh… I-' She stuttered.
FLASHBACK
iHarry looked into Hermione's eyes; his vivid green ones were twinkling in a way she had never seen before.
Harry bent forwards and his lips toughed hers.
She closed her eyes and felt Harry's tongue entering her mouth. Her tongue, too, found her way into Harry's mouth.
Harry put his arms around her waist; his tongue entering her mouth more deeply.
'What the devil are you doing?'
Ron had entered the room, he was staring at them in disbelieve.
'And I thought you loved me!'
Ron turned around, left the room, and slammed the door shut.
Hermione looked at Harry in disgust, and smacked him in the face.
She ran towards the door as calling:
'Ron! It's not what you think!'/i
FLASHBACK
A dry sob escaped her mouth, and silent tears started rolling over her cheeks once more.
'It happened the day before ihe/i died…' she said silently 'I never wanted to- '
She sobbed another time.
'I never had the chance to make it up with him!'
Hermione wept, put her arms around Draco's neck, and started to sob hysterically.
center/center
Everything seemed to have changed ever since that day: she didn't completely ihate/i him any more, but you couldn't say she liked him either. I mean, he had comforted her, but you can't expect her to really like the one who knew just everything about her…
No, she had just ignored him ever since. She had ignored about the whole world ever since. OK, she knew that wasn't a really good option, especially not if you considered she had received a letter this morning that made avoiding Malfoy completely impossible.
iDear Ms Granger,
I am glad to inform you that you have been chosen as Head Girl of Hogwarts during her final year. Mr Draco Malfoy has been chosen as Head Boy.
You will share Private Rooms together, and you'll both be responsible for the students at Hogwarts and the tasks of the Hogwarts Prefects.
Further information is enclosed in a second letter.
Yours sincerely,
Professor M. McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts/i
A silvery badge with the initials H.G. (A/N: I know it's quite confusing but the H.G. stands for "Head Girl" and not "Hermione Granger", OK?) had been enclosed too.
Hermione took the badge once more, and looked at it, the previous years she would have done anything to receive this, and now it didn't seem important anymore.
However, the Dark Lord did seem to think it was an important thing to have two of his Death Eaters at the top of the school, he appeared to think it had its iadvantages/i. He had made that clear as he summoned them this morning just after she'd received this letter. God may now how he always manages to know everything that quickly, she had thought while she hurriedly changed her black pyjamas into wizard robes.
Of course there were rewards for her too as she became the Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for one The Private Rooms; it was a pity she needed to share them with Malfoy though. But she didn't need to visit that lousy Gryffindor Common Room every day any longer.
She had hated it in there ever since last year: Potter was really worshipped in there, and she could not at all pretend she was one of those silly girls who loved Potter because he was "the-boy-who-lived", (ihe/i better had been the boy who died! She though bitterly). It was incredible however to see how many girls did love him… It made her sick.
She saw the picture of her kissing Harry in her head, and shivered her eye fell on a photo of Ron, which was standing on the windowsill. She stumbled towards it and took it in her hands. She whispered:
'I'm so sorry, Ron. I'm so terribly sorry for what I've done to you.'
She fell down the floor, and shouted at the ceiling.
'I do not deserve this badge; I don't even deserve this life. Oh, Ron. I have nothing left! Though I've tried to forget, you'll all that I am. I'm trough fighting it. I give up! Without you I can't go on, anymore, ever again! It was me who needed to die, not you….'
The last sentence was barely more than a whisper. Tears were steaming over her face, as she was wailing there desperately. Sobbing like mad, sitting on her knees, clutching her face with her hands deepening the pits her nails had created. Rocking back and forth.
Hermione went to the bathroom, trembling, and threw some ice cold water in her face to calm down. She looked in the mirror.
She almost didn't recognize herself, she was thin, her body was really pale, and her eyes were red and swollen, partly because of the cold water, but the water couldn't reveal the tears that had rolled over her face the previous seconds, minutes, hours or even months.
She could taste the salty flavour of tears on her lips, and swallowed.
Hermione lifted her hands and beat the mirror in fury and impotence. It shattered into a thousand pieces. There were cuts in her hands and under arms, they were bleeding heavily. But she did not care; she just cried and fell on the ground.
center
i Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong
Moonlight on the soft brown earth
It leads me to where you lay
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home/i
/center