Ok, I added a little to the original call... someone told me that it was a little rushed (miarae). I don't know if this is better but it's the best I can think up. :)

CHAPTER 11

As soon as Rory said it everything came flooding back. She was suddenly hit with a million and one feelings that she just didn't want to face at that moment. She had so much stuff to think about. Of course there was Dean and how she felt about him but there was also her new roommate and her new friend Tristan. She had a lot to think about. That would have to wait because she was still sitting there and Tristan hadn't said a word since she had told him the news.

"Tristan? Are you still with me?" She asked him shyly.

"Yeah Ror. I'm just a little shocked. I really didn't think that you were capable of doing such a thing. So what happens between you and Dean now? Are you getting back together? Is he leaving his WIFE? Will you sleep with him again? Do you love him?"

"Whoa Tristan, slow down. Sadly I don't have answers to all of those questions. I do know that it will not happen again. I will not sleep with a married man ever again. I don't know what'll happen with him and his wife, I told him to try to work things out. And weather or not I really love him...." She answered without giving him an honest answer.

"It's not that hard a question Rory."

"I thought I did. He was always the sweet one, the one who'd listen, and the one who has always loved me. I guess in a way he was just a habit. He was just comfortable. But no, I don't really love him from the bottom of my heart. I don't think I ever really, truly did."

"Oh I see. I just can't believe he would cheat on his wife. Actually I do believe that he did. It is Dean after all."

"Can we stop talking about this now Tristan, please? I want to go to bed and forget about everything."

"Sure Ror, no problem. I should get some rest too. Don't worry about it ok? Everything is going to be fine. Good night!" With that he gave her a hug and kissed her forehead before going to his room.

----
As she lay on her bed, Rory couldn't help but remember the events of THAT night, over a month ago. What had made her throw her conscious out the window and sleep with another woman's man? Was she completely out of her mind?

She realized then and there that she had always been jealous of Dean's relationship with Lindsay. He had been her first boyfriend, her first kiss and the first guy who had ever paid attention to her. She thought about all the things she had done to be with him. She had told Tristan that she hated him. That wasn't because she truly loved him. She knew deep down inside of herself that she had gotten back together with him just because she was afraid of the unknown, afraid of not having the comfort of a boyfriend in her life. If she really had loved him the way she had said that she did she never would have left him for Jess.

All of her thoughts were really depressing her. Finally, after all this time she finally realized what her feelings really were. The "thought" that she was in love with Dean was just that, a "thought". She now knew that she had loved the (i) idea(i) of being in love and not the guy himself.

Sadly, those thoughts made her want to cry even more. She had given her virginity to a guy that she didn't really love. She knew that she had truly loved Jess. When she had made the decision not to leave with him she had been horribly scared of being alone again. Summer had been coming and unlike being at Yale where she could occupy her mind and her time with schoolwork she would be facing weeks of being lonely at home with nobody. Now it all made sense to her. She had slept with Dean in order not to be lonely all summer. She had thought that he would leave his wife and she would end up with him.

That realization made her feel incredibly guilty. She now felt horrible for Lindsey. Her husband was cheating on her and she didn't even know. Well, would it matter if it never happened again? It still mattered. He had broken his vow to her. Maybe she'd never find out. Maybe she'd forgive him.

Rory just had to sleep.

---

Back in his room Tristan couldn't stop himself from thinking about what Rory had just told him. His pure and innocent Mary was no more. She had had sex. She was no longer the girl he had fallen for but now she was a woman. That didn't really change how he felt about her but the fact that she had slept with another woman's man. She had slept with a MARRIED man. She could possibly be responsible for a marriage falling apart.

That was something that Tristan really frowned upon. His own father had spent a big part of his marriage sleeping with other women and it had really hurt his wife. Tristan hated that about his father but he also hated the women who had actually slept with him. All of those women knew that he was married and that he had kids to rise. Didn't those women care that they were possibly breaking up a family? Now his Rory was one of them. How would that affect his feelings for her?

It was true that Dean and Lindsey didn't have any kids or anything so it wouldn't affect their lives as much but he wondered how Lindsey felt knowing that her husband was a cheater. Or did she even know? Damn that Dean!! Tristan thought to himself.

Then again it wasn't really Rory's fault was it? Yeah she knew that Dean was married and she knew that it wasn't right but she was the innocent one, wasn't she?

He just couldn't think about it anymore, he had to sleep.

----

Rory woke with a jump when she heard the phone ringing. It was one in the afternoon and Tristan wasn't answering so she decided that she had to get up.

"Hello?" She said, not trying to sound like she had just gotten up.

"Hello, is this Rory?" asked the familiar voice on the line.

"Dean?" she asked unsure.

"Yeah Rory, it's me."

"Let me guess. My mom gave you the number and told you where I was, didn't she?"

"Mmhmm, she did. You can't get mad at her though, I practically had to get on my hands and knees before she'd tell me."

"I'm surprised she did. You aren't exactly her favorite person in the world you know."

"Yeah I know."

"So what's going on?"

"Actually I was hoping we could talk a little. Are you busy?"

"I was going out." She lied "But I'll give you a few minutes of my time. What's going on?"

"This isn't going to be easy Ror. Umm, well, I got your letter, and you're right. Lindsey and I definitely have to work things out."

"Okay..."

"I do love you Ror but I can't leave my wife. Lindsey's pregnant; I'm going to be a father."

"How nice for you two." Her voice was dripping in sarcasm.

"I'm sorry Rory."

"Did you tell her about us?"

"No, I couldn't do that to her. When I got home that night she was sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. That's when she told me. I wouldn't be able to leave her and the baby. You don't know how sorry I am. I really did love you Rory."

"Yeah well, things happen don't they?"

"I guess..."

"I knew it would never happen again for us...I should have known."

"I really am sorry, I really did love you...I still do but I can't do this."

"Whatever, I got to go. Congratulations!" she said a little harshly. Before he had time to reply she hung up.

As soon as the phone was in its cradle the tear started to flow. She curled herself up into a ball on the sofa and cried.

Three hours later Tristan found her asleep with traces of her tears still on her cheeks.

--- A/N: Ok, one more down! Now bring on the reviews. I can now receive anonymous ones. Thanks to all of you who have encouraged me to continue. Without that the story would be incomplete. I'm open even to negative comments, even those help sometimes.