Broken
by star of david
SUMMARY: Harry recalls how he and Hermione once were. He wants to always be there for her, and to "steal her pain away".
DISCLAIMER: The characters are from J.K. Rowling. The song is from Amy Lee of Evanescence and Seether. The plot is from my brain.
I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
"Oh thank God! Exams are over!" exclaimed an ecstatic Parvati Patil, who was exiting the Charms classroom with Lavender Brown. In front of the two girls were Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, walking as if there were a funeral march. Lavender huffed loudly, telling Harry and Ron to walk faster, but the two boys did not mind her. After an eternity of ten seconds of slow-marching behind the boys, Parvati and Lavender finally decided to move along, with Lavender calling "You're holding up traffic!" behind her back.
Harry Potter was oblivious to his surroundings. He didn't notice that exams were over. He didn't notice that he was walking in an awfully slow manner. He didn't hear his best friend's voice. All he could think of, see, and feel, was but one girl.
Hermione Nadine Granger.
Ron Weasley couldn't take the dazed look on his best friend's face any longer. He slapped Harry's face--hard. But instead of an outburst of, "What the fuck, Ron? That hurt!", only a spark of recognition lit up in Harry's eyes as he cocked his head to the left and greeted Ron with, "Oh. Hey."
"What the bloody hell is the matter with you?" demanded Ron. "It's the last day of term! We've just finished our last exams! You're not yourself lately."
Harry merely shrugged. "I don't know, mate."
Ron shook his head, exasperated, at Harry. Harry lifted his head, just in time to see a brown-haired girl briskly walking towards their direction, her head in her hands. He stopped dead in his tracks. He'd recognize that girl from anywhere. The hair, the walk, everything.
"Hey Herm--"
"Don't talk to me Ron!" exclaimed Hermione, lifting her head. Harry saw her brown eyes filled with tears, and his heart began to shatter once more. Hermione took one look at him and ran away towards Gryffindor Tower.
"What's with--?"
Ron, once again, wasn't able to finish his sentence. Harry had sprinted off in pursuit of the sobbing Muggle-born.
Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You're gone away
You don't feel me anymore
Fuck Malfoy, thought Harry as he ran through hallways and corridors and staircases. He is so dead.
Only Harry knew about Hermione's relationship with Draco Malfoy. Early that year, Hermione had thrown her three-year relationship with Harry in his face and expressed wishes to be with the blonde Slytherin boy. Harry, out of love (or perhaps out of stupidity), had agreed. But he made Malfoy vow to never make Hermione cry.
Malfoy seemed sincere with Hermione. There were times in Potions class that Malfoy would pass a note to Hermione -- which had to pass through Harry first -- that read I love you. See you tonight. And though how much it broke Harry's heart to read those words, more so to give them to his previous girlfriend, he still passed it on to Hermione, who would giggle and return the note with OK. I love you too..
Why did Harry do this?
Because he saw that it was where Hermione's happiness lay. And he would do anything, just for Hermione to be happy.
Harry never ceased to care for Hermione, and he never ceased to show it either. Until that fateful day that Hermione had told him to "please stop doing that" Hermione said that Malfoy was getting jealous and mad, and it hurt her to see Malfoy like that. And so Harry did stop doing that. Since then, he had become a zombie.
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
"Hermione! Hermione, wait!" Harry cried.
"Leave me alone, Potter!" shouted Hermione over her shoulder. She kept running, never ceasing, never slowing down. Harry ran after her tirelessly all the way up to Gryffindor Tower, up to the Head Girl room she had all to herself. Hermione slumped herself face-down onto the queen-sized bed, still crying. Harry sat down beside her and began stroking her back.
Harry recalled the times when he and Hermione were still together. Whenever Hermione cried, Harry would wipe her tears away and kiss her. Then, he'd do some crazy magic trick which would make Hermione laugh. Everything would be all better. When Harry felt down, Hermione would simply place her head on his shoulder and say, "Please don't be sad, baby." Then Harry would kiss her forehead, and everything would be OK.
His mind then drifted to the days when he and Hermione first separated. Every night he cried in bed, ears full of tears, pillowcase soaking wet. Ron would tell him, "Quit it already! Get over her! And let me get some sleep!" But Ron only made things worse. Harry could never get over Hermione. He never did, he never will.
How Harry longed to make things better for Hermione. How he longed to wipe her tears again, kiss her again, do some silly magic for her again. But things weren't the same anymore.
Coz I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Coz I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
Hermione began to sit up. She placed her head on Harry's shoulder, her own shoulders heaving. Harry's began beating like mad, but his mind was contradicting.
Don't fall for it, Potter, said a voice in Harry's head. It might be a mere trick to deceive you.
It's too real to be a trick, he interjected.
Slowly, Harry put his arm around Hermione, afraid that Hermione might away from him. But she didn't.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?" asked Harry softly. Hermione breathed in slowly and deeply.
"What did Ma--Draco do to you?" Harry asked again. Hermione had told him not to call Malfoy "Malfoy" any longer.
Hermione inhaled again. "He has another girl," she said softly.
Harry didn't know what to say. His heart ached; partly for Hermione, and partly out of rage towards Malfoy. How could he do that to Hermione?
"What happened?" Harry asked. "How did you find out?" Hermione didn't answer anymore. "I'm sorry, I keep asking too many questions," Harry apologized.
Coz I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Coz I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
The two kept silent for a while. Hermione still hiccoughing, Harry still running his hand up and down the girl's back. Hermione conjured a glass of water and drank it in one gulp. She inhaled deeply once more and began to speak.
"Harry...uh...do you mind if I tell you something about me and Draco?" she asked.
Harry's heart was on the verge of breaking once more. But then he nodded.
"You know, at first, Draco and I got along really well," shared Hermione. "He's not the git we thought he is after all. He's smart, witty, and funny. He can be sweet and kind and thoughtful when he wants to.
"But you know something else? I found myself comparing you and him all the time. The things he did were a lot different from the things you did. I liked them both equally and uniquely."
Harry's heart lurched. So there was hope after all. This was a good sign.
"You remember the times when we took a bath together in there?" continued Hermione, motioning to the bathroom in the Head Girl room. "We did that too. And Draco slept here too. Nothing happened either. Then at times, he would bring me to the Slytherin Common Room under his Invisibility Cloak. Yes Harry, he also has an Invisibility Cloak like yours. You have a lot more in common than you think."
You're gone away
You don't feel me anymore
Again, there was silence. Harry didn't know what to feel anymore. Hermione had just built up his confidence and his heart, and then began to shatter it once more.
"Can I tell you something else?" asked Hermione. Harry nodded.
"I miss Draco," she said softly.
"Even though he hurt you?" asked Harry.
"Yes, even though he hurt me," Hermione replied. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
"I have to go, Hermione," said Harry abruptly. "I forgot, I have Quidditch practice. You know, for the end-of-term match." He got up and began to exit the door. He didn't look back, and Hermione didn't see the tears streaming down his face.
A/N: This is actually inspired by my own lovelife. Hope you liked this, and I do hope I matched the story with the song. "Broken" is one of my current faves. Please review this one.