Not a Love Triangle, this is a Love Tangle
Chapter 1 – Cross Flirting
James and Sirius/Admiring hotness
"Oh My God, how hot is she?" James Potter asked
"Who?" Sirius Black replied
"How can you ask that? There's only one perfect girl over there"
"Um" I looked at the table in front of us. Sonja, Lily, Polly, Honey and Claudia. Well as James had already dated Sonja and Polly, it wouldn't be them. And, well this was James Potter we were talking about, so it couldn't be Evans. So Claudia or Honey. Neither were outstandingly pretty, but not ugly either. So time to guess
"Claudia?"
"Sirius, I'm never eating pizza again. It must make you blind. You had at least six slices at lunch. How can you miss beauty like that?"
"Um, so it's Honey?"
James Daydreams
James did not reply. He was too busy off in a magical land where the girl before him was massaging his back. Palm trees swayed silently in the breeze, waves rolled to shore, a coconut thumped him on the head….
"OUCH!"
"Earth to Prongs" I said after hitting James on the head.
"Oh"
How (not) to get a Girl's Attention
"Padfoot, how can I get her to notice me?"
"James, you could just ask her out!"
"I can't do that, it would ruin my cred. A Marauder can't just tell a girl that he likes her"
"Well do ask me then. How hard can it be to tell her how you feel?"
"But how can I get her to notice me?"
"Ask her out?"
"Padfoot!"
"Well, DON'T use the same 'notice me' plan you did with Christina West. I'm sure she really didn't appreciate being portkeyed off to Paris with out warning"
"Hey, a free holiday what's wrong with that?
"She was halfway though a Charms exam at the time"
"Escape plan from exams! I'd marry a person who did that to me"
"She wasn't really expecting there'd be so much of a punishment for using magic-out"
"Yeah, but she noticed me hey"
"Well yeah, but I'm sure she didn't find you attractive after she hexed you"
"Shut up. Remind me never to try to date a Ravenclaw again. Only a smartarse like that would know the ostrich beak curse AND that crab feet one"
"Oh, yeah and James, never date a Ravenclaw"
"Shut up"
James/ Dinnertime
what should i do about Honey i can't ask her out she'll know how i feel that would be bad can't do any such thing would ruin reputation need to do something want her so bad may as well ask Sirius must still refuse to ask her out no matter what he says oh well i need advice quick i'll ask now
Sirius's Response
Well, you could ask her out….ouch. Or maybe not. I guess you could flirt with one of her friends while she's there of course
Don't ask me who, because unlike you, I haven't memorised Honey's friends, timetable, likes, dislikes, CD rack contents…but preferably someone you HAVEN'T previously dated.
Oh Prongs, you have to tell me she has more than on friend you haven't already dated! Honey's pretty popular, isn't she? I mean there's Ella, Thea, Tash, Sonja, Polly…um well I guess you're pretty popular too.
So who's the one haven't dated?
Sirius's Reaction to 'the Name'
SCREAM
Meet Lily
At 17 she is addicted to rock music
At 17 she wears only black, even when she doesn't have to wear the school robes
At 17 she doesn't take any shit from anyone
At 17 she believes girls can achieve anything
At 17 she wants to dye her red hair black
At 17 her best friend is an extremely ditzy girl called Honey
At 17 she doesn't understand how the hell she became best friends with her as they are so different.
At 17 she guesses most of other Gryffindor girls were a bit scared of her
At 17 she hates James Potter, who if you haven't already guessed is on his way to flirt with her to win over her friend
Lily and Honey/Sitting by the Lake which is now (Thankfully) Free from (that Moron AKA) Potter
"What is wrong with that boy, Honey? Can't he take a hint?"
"Wrong with James? How could you say such a thing! James is Flawless"
"Flawless at being annoying? True enough"
"Though maybe if anything he sort of sounds like a cartoon character when singing. But only slightly…"
"Honey, that is one of the smallest problems because I do not choose to be close enough to Potter to listen to his singing"
"But seriously Lily, you are like SO lucky. What I wouldn't give to be you, having James all over you like that. Like not literally, not that I would mind that either, but you know what I mean…."
Honey! Did you here him 'Apart from some giant squid spotting, I'm admiring how lovely you are Lily' how sickening.
"I thought it was sweet. Like when he was like 'Lily, please use my proper name. Potter sounds like a ceramic maker' it was like so cute! Ceramic maker. Wait, if I marry him, my last name would be Potter too."
"Honey…"
"Shut up Lils. You are totally crazy. No one could resist James's smile. He is like so totally hot"
"Well why don't you get with him then?"
"Lil, it's like totally obvious that he only likes you. He didn't even pay attention to me. Go for it Lils, he's gold."
"Honey. I don't like James. Why he likes me I have no idea. Why don't you go and wreak his fantasises with me, and get him into this world with you."
"But like how? He likes you."
"Well, please, I'm begging you, change that"
The Plan
Honey is to flirt with one of the marauders, ie James Potter's best friends, whilst James is around, to make James Potter jealous, and, if all goes to plan, James to be head over heals in love with her. The lucky lad is to be
The Name
That had been floating around Lily Evans' head all day was a shocking one. You wouldn't believe who it was, and she scarcely could either. As much as she hated to admit it, she had a crush on a marauder. The Lily who swore blind she didn't need a man in her life, had a crush on
The Gap
In both cases is to be filled with the name of Sirius Black.
What Lily Thinks
I'm absolutely fine with Honey flirting with Sirius. I know it's just a ploy to get James. She may even succeed in shaking me out of this pathetic trance Sirius has got me in. And even if that doesn't work, and I still like him after Honey gets with James, Honey can tell me all the goss on him. I'll find out if he likes hair up or down, and whether he still has 64 freckles on his neck.
What Honey Thinks
Could it like work? That would be so cool is I could get with James. I want him like so bad. Mrs Honey Potter. Sounds perfectly perfect. As long as Lily doesn't mind. I could get just as close to James with Peter or Remus. They aren't like that bad. But after all, it is only a trick.
What they Both Decide
Go for it
Breakfast Time Wednesday
The food consists of bacon, eggs, sausages, tomato and toast. All the girls who have been previously mentioned are sitting at the Gryffindor table, enjoying a healthy start to the day. The boys previously introduced as the marauders are walking into the great hall, in the direction of the part of table where the girls are sitting. For once, they are not thinking about the previously described breakfast, but the plan which they are going to put into action.
James/Looking over at table
oh wow there she is radiating with beauty as usual I don't know how Remus can say she's worse than my usual taste in girls sure she mightn't be the brightest crayon in the box i mean she hangs around with evans but anyway she is still gorgeous anyway i can't believe i'm going through with this god save me it's crazy i'm crazy i'm crazy for Honey god she's beautiful oh no there's Lily may as well get this over and done with
The confrontation
"Good Morning ladies, especially dear Lily"
"What do you want Potter?"
"Apart from seeing your beautiful face, Lily, I was wondering if these seats are free."
"Yes they are, but this one will be too if you sit down" Snapped Sonja
"As long as Lily's chair remains occupied, I have no problem with that situation Sonja."
What Sonja could have done when James sat down
- Calmly switch seats
- Ignore James and keep on eating
- Start a conversation with Polly about waxing and eyebrow plucking
- Walk off, calm and collected
- Say jerk every time he tried to open his mouth
- Try and save Lily from the obvious pain she was going through.
- Anything that didn't involve pumpkin juice
What Sonja Did
Tipped her pumpkin juice over James
For the Rest of the Morning
Sirius and Remus joked that Sonja must be calming down since James only had pumpkin juice over him, not wings, feathers and a beak like last time. Peter was commenting on how girls are too sensitive for their own good. Lily was still being tormented by James, being asked out to Hogsmeade, and being told all sorts of soppy things. James was having considerable amounts of fun teasing Lily, pretending to flatter her, and sneaking glances at Honey out of the corner of his eye. Ella, Thea and Polly were sniggering at the situation, conveniently forgetting James had dated all of them at least once, and in Ella's case, six times. Honey was staring at James out of the corner of her eye, thinking that James managed to look hot even if he was dripping with an orange fluid.
Lily/Still at Breakfast Table/ten minutes after the marauders left
The boy has problems. Major problems. Honey has real problems too, since she actually likes Potter. How could she? I know she doesn't have the best taste, but honestly, Potter? He has to be her worst choice ever. And believe me; she's had a lot to compare with. I thought the guy who had the obsession with lizards was bad enough. Or that guy who took the last bottle of butter beer at the quiddich cup party last year. I was right behind him too. But Potter. This obsession was much worse. Look at her. How pathetic, falling that bad for a guy. She's been staring into space ever since James left, and it's actually getting quite boring. I wish she would just talk to me, because I need to get that idiots voice out of my head. Just the way he kept saying I was beautiful was so sickening, so player-like. Maybe even if Sirius said it, I'd still feel like this. Like I was supposed to fall at my feet or something. They boy makes me so mad.
Description of Dormitory the Marauders are about to Enter
Messy. Quiddich posters. Spell books cast aside, covered in dust. Clothes all over the floor. Maroon and Gold curtains. MG luvs RK scratched into the wall. Two broomsticks. Charmed crack in wall to hide invisibility cloak and other such items. Tawny owl asleep on curtain rail
Marauders talk in Dormitory
"So guys, how do you reckon that went" James asked Remus, Peter and Sirius
"Well… It was good entertainment for us" Sirius commented
"Hell yeah" Remus added "Very amusing"
"No guys! Is she falling for me?"
"Hate to break it you Prongs, but if that girl kisses you after the 30th time you said she was the only girl in the world for you, causing her to tell you to jump in the lake, there's not much hope for a Mrs Lily Potter anytime soon"
"Oh my god Peter, not Evans, Honey! That is the whole point of this"
"Oh, and I thought you was flirting with Evans for the fun of it."
"Prongs, since you didn't address Honey once all though that, I'd have to say no."
"Padfoot, that's the whole point. Not for her to think that I like her. She just has to notice me"
I think you'll find she'd also notice her if you asked her out. Or pashed her, or threw you self on top of her for that matter."
Padfoot…"
I know, I know. "Then she'd know you liked her?" Really, James was so much like a girl sometimes. "You know Prongs, what you're doing is exactly what girls like Sonja do."
"Oh, and Sonja certainly made you notice you at lunch today" Remus backed me
"Guys, Sonja does not like me. And I don't go throwing drinks on people I like"
"Um Prongs…." Peter started
"…One name…" Remus added
"….Jasmine Richards" I concluded.
"Oh shut up."
(A/N)Yes, this had been rewritten, and I'd really appreciate some feedback, so guess what that means? Review!