Screams filled the crowd of students around me, immediately forcing the horrible feeling of fear down my throat. Girls were breaking down into heart-filled sobs; boys would stare at the maze in horror. Something was terribly wrong, I knew this.
Eyes shifted to me, a sudden uncomfortable feeling spreading around all around me, like a disease. Despite the lingering echo of screams, cries, and worried students who were confessing their fears to neighboring friends, the silence that took over all around me was louder than anything I had ever heard before. It filled me with fear and question, but no one set out to quench those feelings, or deprive me of them.
And then they brought you out. Your once tan, healthy skin was now pale. Your large, glassy gray eyes, that had looked at me with adoration, caring, and had taken in the world around you with the knowledge of the challenges that lay ahead of you, were now dead and spacey. They would stare into nothingness, and now take in nothing more. Your wand was clenched in your hand, as though you would never let it go. It was a sign that you had died fighting—but that didn't take away the pain. You had died. Nothing could change that... not even magic.
I remember kissing your lips just before you had to leave to get ready for your next, and last, challenge. You smiled at me, entwined your fingers with mine, and whispered, "I love you." Those words had meant so much to me! And to think, it was the only time I would ever be allowed to hear them from your lips...
And when you left me with another final kiss, you had called back, "I'll see you afterward! Wish me luck!" I had believed those words with all of my heart. No trace of doubt had entered my mind that something could go so horribly wrong.
"Oh, Cho..." My friend whispered, leaning over and wrapping an arm around me. It didn't make me feel better, though. Nothing would. Tears dripped down my cheeks as I stood up and peered over the students in front of me. And then I saw you, laying there, eyes staring to the sky...
In dreams, I have seen your eyes suddenly blink. Then, you sit up, look at me, and smile. I know that you are okay, run to you, and embrace you. Your skin is warm, and feeling your lips press against mine sends that familiar, electrical tingle that I always got from you. You would then hold me in your arms, whispering those three blissful words.
I love you.
But it is just as you begin to whisper those words, that I wake up. I feel forever doomed to never hear those words again... I am always taunted by the desire to see you, and hear your voice... but I know it cannot happen. You're dead. Gone.
And there is also the lingering void that was once your spot, which cannot be filled. No matter how many boys I may lock lips with, no matter how many boys may smile at me and whisper those three magical words; no one can ever take your spot. They may give me that electrical tingle when I kiss them, and stare at me with adoration in their eyes... But I promise you. No one can ever replace you. And while it can be a wonderful thing, knowing that at one point in my life I loved someone and was loved back by them, the pain that fills my gut when I know that I'll never love another like you again is always there.
Do you roll in your grave, much like I do at night in my bed, when you see me kissing another boy? I do. I feel filthy when I entwine my fingers with another boy, much like I had with you, and place a soft kiss upon their lips. Because I used to do this with you and only you—not with other boys. I feel only regret if I cause you pain... but not having you there to hold me when I am suffering is new to me. You were my emotional pillar, and without you, I feel like I'm crumbling.
And then there was Harry.
It's painful to look at him. When I do, I see someone who I care so much for, but someone I feel so much hatred to... You died, and he lived. I can't change anything that happened that night, and I know it would be terrible if I confided that I wished that that night had gone differently...
Harry made me feel safe, and when I kissed him, I felt wonderful and horrible all at once. He was your competitor, your friend, and he saw what happened to you... I knew it wouldn't work. But I needed someone to lean on when I was really hurting, when I was so desperate to have someone hold me and make me feel better.
And even if I would, soon after, be with another, I would always feel better knowing that he was there, ready to listen to me cry, whine, or even scream about you... Even if he would say that it made him uncomfortable to reminisce about you, he promised me that if I needed someone, he would be there. That's all I needed.
My heart is broken, and I no longer have you to hold on to. My love, my pillar, my only source of everything that I ever wanted or dreamed of having... I don't know if I will ever manage to pick up the pieces of my heart. I suppose it depends if I can find all of them. But I know that the pain of losing you is never-ending. No matter how much someone may say, "I know how you feel," or, "You'll get over it." I won't get over it. The pain is always there, even when my mind is set on something or someone that isn't you.
Someday, I will be able to look back on pictures of you, memories of you, and smile, instead of burst into tears. Someday, I will talk of you to friends and family, maybe if I have children, and will laugh and smile instead of feel my heart break all over again. Someday, I will hold hands with another, our fingers entwined; I will press my lips against his, and feel that electrical tingle; I will hear him whisper those three blissful words, and feel nothing but love when I mimic them back; I will blush when he stares at me with pure adoration and caring...
And for once, I will not think of you.
"Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
If you all didn't get what this is about, you should go bang your head against a brick wall and come back later. Lmao. No, kidding. It's all about how Cho feels after Cedric's death in GoF, and the confusion she feels about trying to get back to a normal life. I know that after OotP, everyone hated her. But who can blame her for acting the way she did? After losing your own love, you'd be confused about everything wouldn't you? I usually hate Cho, but you must feel a bit of pity on her for what she went through. –Noddle.- So, here it is! I hope you like it. -