Title: Periodic Table

Author: skilledpplnumba2

Rating: Mild crack…I was going to write more but…

Summary: Kaido tries using memory devices to teach Chemistry.

Kaido Kaoru didn't know why in hell he became a tutor in Chemistry. Maybe the reason was so he'll gain the respect of Inui-senpai in some other form rather than just his abilities in tennis. Or maybe he did it so that he'll find a cure-a solution which would neutralize his senpai's toxic juice. Or maybe…Oh what the heck! Kaido knew the only reason he volunteered to be a tutor was because of a stupid bet he and Momoshiro made. In truth, it was Momoshiro who made it, and he was the one who got provoked and actually volunteered for the job.

So here he was, at a classmate's house, trying to help him memorize the periodic table of elements. And the funny thing was, the person who he was assigned to tutor was none other than the man who betted that he was better than him in Chemistry, his stupid rival, Momoshiro, who is currently grumbling about how hard his assignment was.

"Oi, Mamushi! How do you remember all these elments?"

"Sss…it's elements, broomstick head!"

"What?! Well, you're the tutor! You should know these thing!"

"You're the one who said you are better than me in Chem!"

"Well, how do I know that you are smarter than me if you won't help?!"

"Sss" Having nothing else to say (well, nothing that made sense, anyways), Kaido gave up. "Fine, what do you need help on?"

"What do you think?! This is Chemistry!"

"Sss, I don't try to understand what goes on in that non-existence brain of yours! Do you need help or not? Because I'd rather spend my time doing something useful than helping idiots learn."

"Oi, wait! I really need to pass the next test!"

"Then what do you need help on?!"

"Memorizing the periodic table of elements!" Momo said, reading his assignment. "I thought I told you that already!"

Kaido sighed. It was no use arguing with someone who probably doesn't even know what the word 'argue' is.

"Sss. Listen, stupid broomstick head, I'm only going to say this once." Kaido decided he had enough; once he's done tutoring, he could go and start on his new training schedule Inui-senpai had made for him.

"See those big letters in the squares?" Without waiting to see if Momoshiro heard, he plowed on. "They are the symbols of the elements," At the perplex look Momoshiro gave him, he added "the short way of writing out the name. The only thing you have to do is memorize the symbol and what it stands for."

"But there's over a hundred of them! I can't memorize it that fast!"

"Sss…then use those memory devices!" Kaido had overheard Fuji-senpai telling Oishi-senpai his methods of teaching Kikumaru-senpai and one of them actually made sense. (The others included stringing up mathematical formulas into songs and making up stories where the heroes encounter different English words attacking them).

"Memory devices?" Did Momoshiro have to repeat everything he said?

"Yes, you idiot!" His stupid teammate gave him another puzzled stare and so he offered "Like Si, which is the symbol for the element Silicon. You can make it stand for Sadahara Inui to make it easier to remember."

"Oh! I get it now! Heh…and you think you're so smart. So you can change the letters to anything, right?"

"Yes," Kaido hissed. The idiot is finally learning something after an hour of bickering...er...tutoring.

"Then how about Ta for TezukaAtobe?"

"What?!" Kaido choked on his protein drink (not made by Inui-senpai, thank goodness).

"I thought everyone knew they were a couple. But I guess you were too busy scaring girls away with that scary face of yours to pay attention." Kaido already knew that they were a couple, but using Tezuka-buchou and Atobe-san's relationship like that was…disrespectful.

"Hey! There's another couple listed here!"

"Hm?" Kaido quickly scanned the periodic table. No couples anywhere. "Where?" He asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Here!" The idiot pointed. "Beryllium."

"What does that stand for?"

"You mean you don't know?" Momoshiro asked, shocked.

"Sss."

"And I thought everyone knew about it…" he muttered. "It's obviously Banji and Echizen!"

This time Kaido didn't choke on his drink. He spewed it out all over Momoshiro's face.