Through My Mirrored Soul
Summery: Journal Log 01: "Everyday you see the ugliness of crime…" One page is all it takes.
Disclaimer: SVU roxez my soxerz. Um. Fits of sugar-high insanity. I'm ok now, though.
"Everyday you see the ugliness of crime: rape, murder, child abuse. How do you handle it?"
That is a question I get asked by my friends, my partner, my neighbors and my late-mother. How do I handle it? I will forever not know. I am Olivia Benson, a Special Victims Unit detective; I've been one for over a year. Why did I take this job when people know that women have more emotion and shatter easier seeing what I see? Part of me says it's because of my mother. She being raped viciously by a stranger, but still, through the scares decided to keep me; Lord rest her soul. Another part of me thinks I have to make something for myself. Carve a hold in the wall of life and grab for the edge.
They said that if you get too attached to your job that you will lose your sense of reality, and in turn, die unhappy knowing that you are not losing your life, but your job. I suppose that accounts for me too. SUV is all I have. Despite the pain I see, despite the angst, the frustration, the sadness, I still love my job. My obsession is rape, murder, child abuse. Could I live without knowing that everyone I meet could be the victim or perp the very same day? Could I live not knowing that as I write this simple sentence, a woman, child, teenage is being beaten, raped murdered? I could, but I wouldn't like it. Now that I have seen the cruelty and weakness of humans, there is no turning back.
My name is Olivia Benson, a Special Victims Unit detective. For now and until the day I die.
the end
This original was going to turn into a poem of some kind, when a simple journal entry seemed just as fitting. That's it. Short, I know, but I think I got the point across. Review, please.
IcyWindShine