Truth Is Stranger-By Cari Kinz
"I took your son from you." Wesley stood in the office doorway.
Angel closed the binder on his desk and met Wesley's gaze. He'd known this moment was going to come. That didn't make it any easier.
"Yeh. You did." He said softly.
Wesley didn't seem to hear as he walked toward one of the chairs in front of Angel's desk. His gait was stiff and he seemed somewhat distracted. He seemed distracted a lot lately. The grief of losing Fred was intensified by Illyria's constant presence- Angel knew that first hand. For Wesley it must be nearly unbearable. And now he had his memories of betrayal back. Angel knew that at the moment, Wes was walking a very thin line when it came to rational thought.
"You had a son and I..." Wesley paused for a moment and stared out the window.
"You thought you were doing the right thing Wes." In spite of what had happened, all the terrible consequences of the action, Angel knew that was the truth. "You remember that, right? We all got tricked. You wanted to save him."
"Yes." Wesley nodded and turned toward Angel. "I wanted to save him. From you. I didn't trust you."
Angel felt it like a blow. He certainly understood but it still hurt. "No, I guess you didn't." he couldn't keep the bitterness entirely out of his tone. "Maybe if you had..."
"Your son would have grown up with you the way he should have. But I didn't trust you." Wesley sat down heavily in the chair. "It seemed so... clear when I was doing it. I remember trying to find a way around the prophecy. I thought I must have been misinterpreting something. I was afraid to tell anyone." He stared at his hands. "I didn't think you would believe me. I didn't think that you would believe you would hurt him. If I told you, you might have suspected my plan, then I never would have been able to do it."
"No, you wouldn't have. You'd have been dead." Angel said quietly.
Wesley nodded. "I knew I could never come back so I didn't tell the others. They didn't need to be part of it. I thought I could do it by myself." He paused and his gaze hardened slightly. "Why didn't you kill me? After what I did, why didn't you? "
"I tried. Remember?" Angel said and wondered why he sounded a bit defensive.
"Tried?" Wes snorted humorlessly. "Tried?" I was in a hospital bed, I almost bled to death and you 'tried' to kill me? Hardly."
Angel stared at him for a moment. It was true and he knew it. His rage had been real; the desire to kill Wes for what he had done had been real. But he knew it then and he knew it now: If he had truly wanted Wesley dead, he would have been dead before anyone even realized there was a problem.
"I don't know." He said finally. "Nothing in my life has meant more to me than my son. You knew you were taking your life into your hands when you took him. Knew I would hunt you for the rest of your life and what I would do to you when I found you. But you took him because you wanted to save him." Angel looked away from Wesley and took a breath he didn't need. "Maybe... it's because you were protecting my son. And on some level I'm not so sure I wouldn't have hurt him eventually."
Wesley shook his head. "The prophecy was wrong. You weren't going to hurt him. I took your son. I couldn't trust you then, and I only know about it now because I didn't trust you again. What does that say about me? About our friendship?"
"The prophecy was wrong. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't have happened." Angel stood up and went to the window. "Connor wasn't supposed to be possible but there he was. When he was born, I didn't know what to do. He was so little and helpless and I needed to take care of him. Do you have any idea what it was like to go through every day not knowing what demon clan or vampire cult or Wolfram and Hart lawyer was going to burst in and try to take him?" Angel leaned his forehead on the glass for a moment. "But the worst part was knowing what I could become... what I'm capable of doing. You all... you know it's a possibility and you deal with it. The prophecy could have come true Wes. What does what you did say about you? It says that you're my friend and you accept what I am and what I can do. It says that you cared enough that you risked yourself for my son because you knew I would want him to be protected above anything else." Angel turned to face Wesley. "I can't thank you for taking him from me. It was horrible. I've been to Hell, Wes. Losing Connor made that look like a vacation. What you did robbed me of the only chance I'll ever have to see my child grow up. And because of what you did, Holtz robbed Connor of his childhood." Angel paused as he felt the anger rising in him. No matter how much he reasoned it out, the hurt and anger was always going to be there.
"But," he said after a moment. "I can thank you for giving him back to me."
Wesley raised his head and looked steadily at Angel. "By not trusting you again."
Angel shrugged and one corner of his mouth twitched up in an almost smile. "Ironic isn't it?"
The ghost of a smile touched Wesley's lips for a moment, and then the pain replaced it once more. "I should be getting back. Illyria will start looking for me when she's done with Spike."
"Wes, I think maybe you're spending too much time with Illyria. It's not healthy... you know?"
Wesley gave a short laugh that had nothing to do with humor.
"No, it's not." He said. "But this time, I really do think I know what I'm doing."