Disclaimer: - I don't own any of the characters of The Shield, they all belong to Shawn Ryan and FX.
Secrets Chapter 12.
Vic had spent a troubled weekend trying to figure out what he was going to do. When he'd returned home from Holland's house on Friday evening he'd found Shane sitting in his kitchen, eating a piece of his mom's apple cake, waiting for him to return, and eager to know what had happened. Vic had told him everything, and was grateful that Shane had bitten his tongue, and didn't say "I told you so". However, Vic had felt compelled to acknowledge the fact himself,
"You were right Shane the kid won't tell…God how can he stand it? How can he live with that? I mean Jesus he must know it's wrong…it's against the law. If he went to the cops they'd help him…lock that piece of shit father of his away."
Shane let him speak, and then said in a quiet voice,
"Yeah, and then what Vic?"
Frowning, not understanding what Shane meant, Vic asked,
"What…what do you mean "and then what?" Then he gets to live a normal life where no one beats him, and he doesn't have to let his dad…well do that sick shit to him."
Shaking his head Shane replied,
"It's just not that easy Vic…I know. That's the only home he's ever known, the only life he's ever known probably, and…well whatever that's still his dad you know. What he's got might be bad, but at least he knows it…it's familiar. Cops…social workers…foster care, now that shit's scary…believe me I've thought about it."
Looking over at Shane, and remembering the crap he'd had to put up with, Vic had to admit that if anyone could understand where Holland was coming from it would be Shane,
"I guess…but we can't just forget about it and do nothing."
"I know," Shane said. "I didn't say we did Vic, but…we gotta understand that's all I'm saying…it sounds easy you know "just tell", but it ain't that easy."
So Vic had spent the weekend trying to come up with some kind of plan to get Holland to see sense. Now it was Monday morning, and he was shoving his books into his locker, and he was still none the wiser. However, he had rediscovered his determination not to give up on the younger boy.
He turned his head and looked back down towards the main doors, down to where Holland's locker was. The corridor was a seething mass of teenagers, busy with books and lockers, chatting, laughing, and a few making out. He couldn't see Holland, but then again people kept getting in his way, and then the buzzer for homeroom sounded and he had to leave. However, he made up his mind to track the boy down at recess, and try to begin to establish some trust between them. Vic got the impression that Holland didn't trust other people very much, and all things considered Vic couldn't really blame him.
Vic arrived home from school tired, frustrated and with the beginnings of a monster headache. Him and Shane had looked for Holland at recess, and again at lunch, but with no success. Finally, spotting a girl that they knew was in his homeroom; they asked her if she'd seen him that day. In between her giggling with her friends, she'd told them that he hadn't shown up for school that day.
Now Vic was worried. What if Holland's dad had been really pissed at him on Friday, because he'd come home from work and found Vic there? What if he'd hurt the boy? Maybe hurt him so badly he couldn't come to school. Pulling a soda from the fridge, and wondering if he should get some Aspirin or something for his headache, Vic decided he'd go over to Holland's after dinner. He wasn't sure what excuse he'd give if Holland's dad was there, but he knew he wouldn't feel at ease until he'd seen the younger boy, and made sure he was all right.
Just then his mom came into the kitchen carrying a bag of groceries,
"Oh hi honey, how was school?"
Vic reached out and took the bag from her placing it on the counter, he replied,
"Fine…you know same as always."
He went to begin unpacking the groceries when his mom put her hand on his arm and stopped him. Surprised he looked up at her face, and frowned slightly when he saw the concerned expression in her eyes,
"What is it mom? Is something wrong?"
His mom seemed to search his face for a moment before she said,
"I ah…I bumped into Mrs. Murray at the supermarket earlier, and ah…we got talking."
Here she paused for a moment as if unsure how to proceed. Vic prompted her,
"Yeah and…?"
"Well you know she's the secretary for the PTA at your school, she told me they had an emergency meeting there at lunch-time today."
Again his mom paused, and Vic was starting to get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach,
"So…" He said.
"I wouldn't really mention it to you sweetheart, but I remembered you saying last week that you knew the boy…"
Interrupting Vic asked,
"What boy?"
"The Wagenbach boy…you said you knew him. Is he a friend?"
Wanting to know where this was heading, and yet seeing the saddened expression on his mom's face, dreading knowing too, Vic told her,
"I…don't know really…I've talked to him a few times. Why? What's happened?"
"His father called the school this morning. It seems the poor boy took an overdose on Saturday…um Tylenol I think Jeannie said."
Vic felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He couldn't believe it. His voice stuttered slightly as he said,
"An overdose…Oh God he killed himself?"
"No…no honey he isn't dead. He would've been, but some woman his father employs as a cleaner or something left her purse behind the day before by mistake, and she came back to get it. His father was out for the day, but she let herself in and found him. She called 911 and he was taken to hospital. He's going to be all right. Poor child it's just awful."
Swallowing, his mind still in turmoil Vic said in a quiet voice,
"Holland…his name's Holland."
His mom reached out and rubbed his arm in wordless comfort,
"I know it's terrible when it's someone you know…are you all right Vic?"
Looking up at his mom's concerned face he nodded, and forced a half-hearted smile onto his face,
"Yeah…yeah I'm ok. Is he going to be all right? Did Mrs. Murray say why he did it?"
"He's going to be fine." Vic's mom answered him, and then added, "Why he did it…that's the reason they called the meeting today. Mr. Wagenbach called the Principle this morning, and of course he's really upset about the whole thing. Well obviously he would be poor man, what parent wouldn't be. It seems Holland was being bullied at school. Jeannie says the poor man's blaming himself for not realizing just how serious it was, but he wants the school to put a stop to it."
"His dad said that, that it was because of bullying?" Vic said, amazed at the man's cunning.
"He was quite insistent…he wants to make sure the problem's dealt with." Then she asked him, "You're all right aren't you Vic…you're not worried about anything? It's just you've seemed a little distracted, a little down, for a couple of days."
Hastily plastering what he hoped was a convincing smile on his face he said,
"I'm fine mom honestly…you don't have to worry about me."
"Good," she said reaching out and affectionately squeezing his arm. "Why don't you make a start on your homework while I put the groceries away, and make dinner."
Nodding Vic went upstairs, knowing he wouldn't be opening any schoolbooks, but he would be doing a lot of thinking.
Vic and Shane were standing outside the youth club, Vic leaning back against he wall, while Shane stood in front of him nervously chewing on a nail,
"Fuck he tried to commit suicide. Is your mom sure?" Shane asked Vic in a shocked voice.
"Yeah…her friend's on the PTA, and that bastard he's got for a father called Principle Burton this morning, and told her all about it. He said Holland was being bullied at school, and that's why he did it."
"You gotta be shittin' me." Shane said, sounding incredulous.
"Nope that's what he said…Well he couldn't exactly tell the truth could he." Vic breathed out a sharp, frustrated breath, and kicked his shoe at the dirt. "Shit!"
Shane looked at him with concern,
"Are you ok?" He asked.
Glancing quickly at Shane before he looked away Vic replied,
"Jesus Shane I can't help thinking that it's my fault too you know."
"Aw that's bull-shit Vic…this is all down to his dad. You were trying to help the kid."
Shaking his head Vic said,
"I know Shane, but…I had to push it. I thought it would be so easy. Convince him to tell, and everything would be ok, and …I could feel good about helping him out. Instead I just made it worse for him." Looking Shane in the eye he continued, "At his house on Friday the poor little bastard was afraid of me. Afraid of what I'd do, what I'd say. Then me being there pissed off his dad. Christ, for all I know he might have been punished, beaten or…or worse after I left."
"You don't know that Vic." Shane tried to reassure him. "And you don't know how long the kid's been planning this. He might have been going to do it anyway…I mean you can understand why…" Shane's voice petered out, and he shuddered trying very hard not to think of all the reasons the younger boy had for his desperate actions.
"I know but…but I can't help thinking I pushed him over the edge. Like it's my fault too, and I've gotta try and fix it."
Frowning Shane said,
"Fix it…fix it how?" What can you do?"
A determined look on his face Vic squared his shoulders as he decided on the course of action that he knew he had to take,
"I'm gonna tell."
"What?" Shane exclaimed. "Come on Vic I thought we'd talked about this… I mean who'll believe us?"
Hearing Shane include himself in his plan Vic shook his head,
"Hey, you don't have to get dragged into this Shane. I helped make this fucking mess, and it's up to me to try and clean it up…"
Interrupting him Shane sounded a little annoyed at Vic when he told him,
"I'm already involved remember…I said I'd help and I meant it. It ain't right that that piece of shit gets away with it…besides that pain in the ass geek kinda grows on you."
Smiling, grateful for Shane's support Vic nodded and said,
"Ok, well then I think we should tell now…tonight. A couple of Danny's uncles friends are here tonight, and I think we'll need to tell the cops so…"
Straightening up Shane nodded at Vic and said,
"So let's get on with it then."
With that the two boys went back into the youth club and paused for a moment trying to see the two off-duty officers who were helping out.
The guy was over helping a couple of kids set up the pool table, while his partner was standing by herself for a moment watching and sipping a coffee.
Vic tapped Shane on his arm, and nodded towards the watching cop. Shane nodded his agreement, and they made their way over to her.
Vic cleared his throat, and she turned to look at him.
"Hi…um Vic isn't it?" She asked with a smile.
"Um…yeah Officer Wyms, and this is Shane." Vic told her, suddenly feeling nervous, and he unconsciously wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.
As she regarded him, he could see the cop noticing his discomfort, and she raised a questioning eyebrow at him,
"Is there something I can help you with son?" She asked quietly.
For a moment Vic wanted to lie, and say "no", and just walk away. God, he really wished he could walk away from the whole sorry mess, and forget about it, but he knew that was impossible. His conscience wouldn't let him.
Ever since his mom had told him that Holland had tried to kill himself Vic kept seeing the expression on the kid's face as he'd stood on his doorstep when Vic had been leaving on Friday. Resignation, defeat and deep in his eyes an overwhelming sadness. Remembering that utter misery that he'd seen, and feeling guilty for not being able to do anything to help the younger boy, Vic was sure this was the right thing to do, the only thing to do.
So looking up into the dark, kind eyes of the policewoman Vic said,
"We need to tell you something. It's about a kid we know, and…um…and the stuff his dad does to him."
Vic saw the cop's expression become concerned at his words, and once more he felt sure he was doing the best thing for Holland, and he told her, his tone of voice emphatic,
"He needs someone to help him."
THE END.