Barney Fever
Authors Note: Kay. Here's the next chapter I did. It was one of my fav chaps. ta do. Enjoy:) Disclaimer: Refer to chapter #1.
"I hate you. You hate me. Let's go out and shoot Barney. With a great big bang we shoot him in the head. Sorry Tyson Barney's dead." Kai sung under his breath as he sat outside in the apple tree. He was starting to remember a book that he had received for Christmas one year, titled One Hundred And One Ways To Kill Someone Using Your Bare Hands And Or A Weapon. He had just finished shooting at birds with his bb gun and was relaxing in the shade of the tree. Tyson and Kenny were running around the living room, singing the Barney song and watching Barney, Ray was making lunch and was in a very pissy mood, and Max had locked himself in his room and was blasting Eminem songs from his stereo. Kai looked at his watch. It was almost one thirty.
"Hm. It's on in five minutes. I don't care what the hell those idiots are watching in there. I'll kill them if I have to." Kai muttered as he jumped down from the tree and walked into the house. He walked into the living room, only to find out that the Barney marathon didn't end until four thirty, which a zombie-like Tyson was eager to explain to him. Kai ignored him. He picked up the remote and changed the channel.
"HEY! BARNEY IS STIW ON!" Kenny and Tyson yelled in unison. Kai sunk into a recliner.
"Piss off. I'm watching South Park." He grunted.
"I'm not allowed to watch that show. My mommy says it's bad." Kenny crossed his arms. Tyson pushed him over.
"Well, I'm allowed to watch whatever show I want to. I can do anything I want to do." He said proudly. Kai's eye twitched.
"Ray! Come and get these little bastards out of here!" Kai yelled irritatedly. Ray appeared in the doorway of the living room. He had a vein bulging out of his temple and his eye was twitching uncontrollably. He was shaking like he had just had to endure hours and hours of looking after a house full of little brats.
"Lunch....... is ready." Ray said forcefully at first, but then finished off calmly. "It's on the table. Help yourselves." Tyson and Kenny got up and ran into the kitchen to eat. Ray walked into the living room and sunk down onto the couch. He gave a huge sigh.
"Do you know, how many of those accursed Barney episodes, I had to go through while making LUNCH?!" Ray said calmly but then suddenly exploded.
"I feel your pain, Ray. I really do. I don't see how you could even stay in the kitchen that long, making lunch with those little bastards watching (shudder) Barney, with the TV cranked. I probably would have killed them." Kai and Ray relaxed as they sat back in their chairs, watching South Park, a great change from Barney, without Tyson or Kenny complaining. After about five minutes, Max walked into the room and sat down beside Ray. He looked totally relaxed.
"It's a wonder how loud, cursing rap music can take the strain off when you have been scarred for life by Barney. Cool. South Park. I used to watch this show. If we have to listen to Tyson and Kenny and Barney for much longer, I think that I'll start watching it again." Max let out a sigh and settled down to watch the show. Ray was totally relaxed now. He had stopped shaking and his eye had finally stopped twitching. The vein bulging out of his temple had gone down. After South Park was over, Tyson and Kenny came back into the room and sat down in front of the TV as quietly as they could. They all continued to watch TV silently. Kai, Ray and Max were about to fall asleep, when, "Hey there kids! It's me! Barney! Want to play?"
"Oh God no." Kai moaned as he opened his eyes to see that Tyson had gotten his hands on the remote control and had changed the channel back to Barney. Ray and Max woke up. They both groaned as they saw who was dancing around and singing on the TV.
"I'm going to make sandwiches. Max, Kai, would you like one?" Ray got up and stretched. Max got up to.
"I'll come with you and help." Max offered. Kai stood up and walked out of the room.
"I guess I'll have one. Ham and cheese would be good. I'll be in my room." He called back as he left. Max and Ray walked into the kitchen, which was conveniently located right beside the living room. They prepared three sandwiches and Ray took one of them up to Kai's room. He knocked on the door.
"Who the hell is it?" An impatient voice shouted out from behind the door.
"Room service!" Ray replied sarcastically. There was no answer. He knocked on the door again. No answer. Ray figured that this was an invitation into Kai's room. He opened the door and walked in. Inside Ray found Kai lying on his back on his bed with his eyes closed. His stereo next to his bed was playing Pacabell, soft classical music with the sound off waves washing against the shore of a beach. Ray cautiously walked further into Kai's bedroom. He set the sandwich plate he was carrying down beside Kai's blade Dranzer, who was sitting on the table beside Kai's bed. Kai didn't move. He was totally relaxed.
"Are you okay, Kai?" Ray asked very concerned. I never thought Kai had a sensitive side, He thought to himself.
"Fuck off, Ray." He simply responded without opening an eye or moving an inch. I stand corrected, Ray thought. "Your ever so welcome for making you lunch and then catering it all the way up here for you, Kai. Since Kenny won't tell us what the cure for this disease is, I'm going to surf the net and find it myself. After you eat, you and Max are going to take Tyson and Kenny any were they want to go. Come down as soon as your done." Ray turned around and headed out the door. Kai opened one eye.
"Go to hell, Ray."
Fifteen Minutes Later
Kai walked down the stairs and into the living room to find Max sleeping on the couch. Tyson and Kenny were still watching Barney. Ray walked into the living room. He had a big smile on his face.
"I have found the cure!" Ray almost screamed in Kai's face.
"Well then. I guess that you'll be coming with us to. You have nothing else to do." Kai smirked evilly.
"Hey. I have to print out the page and read it." Ray was looking nervous.
"Bookmark it then and print it out later."
"Damn technology. Alright, Kai. You win. I'll come to." Ray gave in. "What do you little brats want to do now." Kenny grinned.
"We want to go and see Barney, live." Kenny and Tyson gave huge smiles. Oh dear god, Ray thought to himself. Kai woke Max up and told him what they were doing. Max looked as though he were about to cry.
"Not Barney. Anything but Barney." He whined. Kai grinned.
"No bailing. We're all in this together." He reassured Max. Max looked a little better.
"Fine. I'll go." He stood up and everyone went to the front door.
At the Theatre.
"We're gonna see Barney! We're gonna see Barney! We're gonna see Barney!" Tyson and Kenny chanted as they stood in line for tickets. Ray looked at the ticket sign.
"Hey. We get in for free if we have two or more kids under eight with us." He smiled at Max and Kai weakly, knowing they couldn't care less. Kai spotted a large line and looked to see what it was. The sign above it read, RESIDENT EVIL TWO. Kai nudged Max behind Ray's back and pointed at the sign. Max's eye's widened.
"I'd rather see that than Barney any day." He whispered to Kai.
"Let's duck out. Ray won't mind. He will only have to pay for Tyson and Kenny and it's only, what, five bucks for brats under eight? Come on. I swear I'll go crazy if I have to spend another moment watching Barney. I can't afford to be seen here in this line. My rep will be trashed. I'll never hear the end of it. Besides, we both deserve a good break after what Ray put us through. Remember. He's the reason why Tyson ate that stupid bastard of a worm. Look. Resident Evil ends at the same time this stupid live Barney performance ends. We'll just pretend that we got separated from Ray in the line up and couldn't find were they were sitting. The plan is fool proof." Kai whispered his plan, hoping that Max wouldn't refuse. Max smiled.
"Okay. Let's go." So, Kai and Max slipped into the Resident Evil line and left Tyson, Kenny, and Ray in the Barney line. When Ray neared the front of the line, he checked back at Kai and Max who had been surprisingly quiet, only to discover that they were gone. He looked at the sign above the line beside him and frowned.
"They are going to pay dearly for what they have just done." Ray said to himself through gritted teeth.
At the end of both shows
"That was sooooooooooo COOL! Remember when the zombie, uh, hi Ray." Max and Kai came walking out of the movie, only to find Ray, Tyson and Kenny all waiting for them at the exit. Ray looked as though he were about to explode. He pointed in the direction of the house.
"March!" He yelled. Max and Kai walked ahead of Ray, Tyson, and Kenny so that Ray made sure they didn't skip out again. After walking for five minutes, Kai stopped. He turned around and knocked Tyson into Kenny, who both fell on to the ground and immediately started crying. Ray stooped down to help Tyson and Kenny up. Kai turned to Max.
"I hope you don't mind me ducking out. See ya." Kai left Max standing beside Ray, who was trying to calm Tyson and Kenny down, speechless.
At Home
Tyson and Kenny were sitting on the couch eating popcorn, watching Ray yell at Max in front of the TV.
"YOU LEFT ME IN THAT HELL HOLE ALL ALONE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO STICK TOGETHER! WHO TOLD YOU THAT I WOULDN'T BE PISSED OFF IF YOU SKIPPED OUT! WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO WATCH THE SHOW WEATHER WE LIKED IT OR NOT! AND I ASURE YOU, I HATED IT! I'M NEVER COOKING FOOD IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN FOR YOU UNGRATFULL BASTARDS." Ray was red in the face. Max tried to defend his ground.
"Listen, It was all Kai's idea. You should be yelling at him over this. And after what he pulled walking home, skipping out again, you should be freaking out at him. Although I do deserve some of the blame, since I was in on it to." Max gave a weak smile. Ray glared at him.
"OH YA. RIGHT. REAL MATURE OF YOU, BASTARD. BLAME IT ALL ON KAI BECAUSE HE IS OLDEST AND THEREFORE, HE'S THE ONE TO BLAME? THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU IDIOT! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE YOUNGEST SHIT HEAD OFF THE BUNCH DOSEN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE BLAMED FOR ANYTHING! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN UNTIL TOMORROW. GOT IT?!" Ray screamed. Max nodded and went up to his room. Tyson and Kenny looked sad.
"AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW. The show's over." They both whined in unison. Ray gave out a huge sigh before turning to Tyson and Kenny.
"Who wants dinner?"
"Memememememe!" They both shouted.
Nine o'clock
Kai walked into the front door, took off his shoes and went up to his room. Kai had just finished walking around town and had gone to McDonalds for Supper. He was just about to fall over onto his bed, when an empty spot on the table by his bed made him glance a second time. Dranzer, his beyblade, was gone. Ray. That bastard is probably still pissed, Kai thought to himself. Since everyone had gone to bed already, he went to Ray's room to argue the point, but when he got there the door was locked. Kai pounded on the door, but Ray didn't answer. That bastard is probably fast asleep, or just ignoring me, Kai thought. He pounded on the door, then shouted, but there was no answer. He decided to go back to bed and rage about it in the morning.
In the morning
Kai woke up to someone quickly poking him on the bridge of his nose repeatedly with their finger. That's probably a food crazed Tyson, here to rub it in that Dranzer's gone, He thought. Kai grabbed them by the wrist and opened his eye's to glare at the kid, but when he saw who it was he sat bolt upright and starred at him, with wide eyes.
"Kai, I'm really hungwy." A tiny six year old's voice said.
"Holly shit! It's Ray!"
Authors Note: Alright. How'd you like. R&R, co-kay? Aight!
Authors Note: Kay. Here's the next chapter I did. It was one of my fav chaps. ta do. Enjoy:) Disclaimer: Refer to chapter #1.
"I hate you. You hate me. Let's go out and shoot Barney. With a great big bang we shoot him in the head. Sorry Tyson Barney's dead." Kai sung under his breath as he sat outside in the apple tree. He was starting to remember a book that he had received for Christmas one year, titled One Hundred And One Ways To Kill Someone Using Your Bare Hands And Or A Weapon. He had just finished shooting at birds with his bb gun and was relaxing in the shade of the tree. Tyson and Kenny were running around the living room, singing the Barney song and watching Barney, Ray was making lunch and was in a very pissy mood, and Max had locked himself in his room and was blasting Eminem songs from his stereo. Kai looked at his watch. It was almost one thirty.
"Hm. It's on in five minutes. I don't care what the hell those idiots are watching in there. I'll kill them if I have to." Kai muttered as he jumped down from the tree and walked into the house. He walked into the living room, only to find out that the Barney marathon didn't end until four thirty, which a zombie-like Tyson was eager to explain to him. Kai ignored him. He picked up the remote and changed the channel.
"HEY! BARNEY IS STIW ON!" Kenny and Tyson yelled in unison. Kai sunk into a recliner.
"Piss off. I'm watching South Park." He grunted.
"I'm not allowed to watch that show. My mommy says it's bad." Kenny crossed his arms. Tyson pushed him over.
"Well, I'm allowed to watch whatever show I want to. I can do anything I want to do." He said proudly. Kai's eye twitched.
"Ray! Come and get these little bastards out of here!" Kai yelled irritatedly. Ray appeared in the doorway of the living room. He had a vein bulging out of his temple and his eye was twitching uncontrollably. He was shaking like he had just had to endure hours and hours of looking after a house full of little brats.
"Lunch....... is ready." Ray said forcefully at first, but then finished off calmly. "It's on the table. Help yourselves." Tyson and Kenny got up and ran into the kitchen to eat. Ray walked into the living room and sunk down onto the couch. He gave a huge sigh.
"Do you know, how many of those accursed Barney episodes, I had to go through while making LUNCH?!" Ray said calmly but then suddenly exploded.
"I feel your pain, Ray. I really do. I don't see how you could even stay in the kitchen that long, making lunch with those little bastards watching (shudder) Barney, with the TV cranked. I probably would have killed them." Kai and Ray relaxed as they sat back in their chairs, watching South Park, a great change from Barney, without Tyson or Kenny complaining. After about five minutes, Max walked into the room and sat down beside Ray. He looked totally relaxed.
"It's a wonder how loud, cursing rap music can take the strain off when you have been scarred for life by Barney. Cool. South Park. I used to watch this show. If we have to listen to Tyson and Kenny and Barney for much longer, I think that I'll start watching it again." Max let out a sigh and settled down to watch the show. Ray was totally relaxed now. He had stopped shaking and his eye had finally stopped twitching. The vein bulging out of his temple had gone down. After South Park was over, Tyson and Kenny came back into the room and sat down in front of the TV as quietly as they could. They all continued to watch TV silently. Kai, Ray and Max were about to fall asleep, when, "Hey there kids! It's me! Barney! Want to play?"
"Oh God no." Kai moaned as he opened his eyes to see that Tyson had gotten his hands on the remote control and had changed the channel back to Barney. Ray and Max woke up. They both groaned as they saw who was dancing around and singing on the TV.
"I'm going to make sandwiches. Max, Kai, would you like one?" Ray got up and stretched. Max got up to.
"I'll come with you and help." Max offered. Kai stood up and walked out of the room.
"I guess I'll have one. Ham and cheese would be good. I'll be in my room." He called back as he left. Max and Ray walked into the kitchen, which was conveniently located right beside the living room. They prepared three sandwiches and Ray took one of them up to Kai's room. He knocked on the door.
"Who the hell is it?" An impatient voice shouted out from behind the door.
"Room service!" Ray replied sarcastically. There was no answer. He knocked on the door again. No answer. Ray figured that this was an invitation into Kai's room. He opened the door and walked in. Inside Ray found Kai lying on his back on his bed with his eyes closed. His stereo next to his bed was playing Pacabell, soft classical music with the sound off waves washing against the shore of a beach. Ray cautiously walked further into Kai's bedroom. He set the sandwich plate he was carrying down beside Kai's blade Dranzer, who was sitting on the table beside Kai's bed. Kai didn't move. He was totally relaxed.
"Are you okay, Kai?" Ray asked very concerned. I never thought Kai had a sensitive side, He thought to himself.
"Fuck off, Ray." He simply responded without opening an eye or moving an inch. I stand corrected, Ray thought. "Your ever so welcome for making you lunch and then catering it all the way up here for you, Kai. Since Kenny won't tell us what the cure for this disease is, I'm going to surf the net and find it myself. After you eat, you and Max are going to take Tyson and Kenny any were they want to go. Come down as soon as your done." Ray turned around and headed out the door. Kai opened one eye.
"Go to hell, Ray."
Fifteen Minutes Later
Kai walked down the stairs and into the living room to find Max sleeping on the couch. Tyson and Kenny were still watching Barney. Ray walked into the living room. He had a big smile on his face.
"I have found the cure!" Ray almost screamed in Kai's face.
"Well then. I guess that you'll be coming with us to. You have nothing else to do." Kai smirked evilly.
"Hey. I have to print out the page and read it." Ray was looking nervous.
"Bookmark it then and print it out later."
"Damn technology. Alright, Kai. You win. I'll come to." Ray gave in. "What do you little brats want to do now." Kenny grinned.
"We want to go and see Barney, live." Kenny and Tyson gave huge smiles. Oh dear god, Ray thought to himself. Kai woke Max up and told him what they were doing. Max looked as though he were about to cry.
"Not Barney. Anything but Barney." He whined. Kai grinned.
"No bailing. We're all in this together." He reassured Max. Max looked a little better.
"Fine. I'll go." He stood up and everyone went to the front door.
At the Theatre.
"We're gonna see Barney! We're gonna see Barney! We're gonna see Barney!" Tyson and Kenny chanted as they stood in line for tickets. Ray looked at the ticket sign.
"Hey. We get in for free if we have two or more kids under eight with us." He smiled at Max and Kai weakly, knowing they couldn't care less. Kai spotted a large line and looked to see what it was. The sign above it read, RESIDENT EVIL TWO. Kai nudged Max behind Ray's back and pointed at the sign. Max's eye's widened.
"I'd rather see that than Barney any day." He whispered to Kai.
"Let's duck out. Ray won't mind. He will only have to pay for Tyson and Kenny and it's only, what, five bucks for brats under eight? Come on. I swear I'll go crazy if I have to spend another moment watching Barney. I can't afford to be seen here in this line. My rep will be trashed. I'll never hear the end of it. Besides, we both deserve a good break after what Ray put us through. Remember. He's the reason why Tyson ate that stupid bastard of a worm. Look. Resident Evil ends at the same time this stupid live Barney performance ends. We'll just pretend that we got separated from Ray in the line up and couldn't find were they were sitting. The plan is fool proof." Kai whispered his plan, hoping that Max wouldn't refuse. Max smiled.
"Okay. Let's go." So, Kai and Max slipped into the Resident Evil line and left Tyson, Kenny, and Ray in the Barney line. When Ray neared the front of the line, he checked back at Kai and Max who had been surprisingly quiet, only to discover that they were gone. He looked at the sign above the line beside him and frowned.
"They are going to pay dearly for what they have just done." Ray said to himself through gritted teeth.
At the end of both shows
"That was sooooooooooo COOL! Remember when the zombie, uh, hi Ray." Max and Kai came walking out of the movie, only to find Ray, Tyson and Kenny all waiting for them at the exit. Ray looked as though he were about to explode. He pointed in the direction of the house.
"March!" He yelled. Max and Kai walked ahead of Ray, Tyson, and Kenny so that Ray made sure they didn't skip out again. After walking for five minutes, Kai stopped. He turned around and knocked Tyson into Kenny, who both fell on to the ground and immediately started crying. Ray stooped down to help Tyson and Kenny up. Kai turned to Max.
"I hope you don't mind me ducking out. See ya." Kai left Max standing beside Ray, who was trying to calm Tyson and Kenny down, speechless.
At Home
Tyson and Kenny were sitting on the couch eating popcorn, watching Ray yell at Max in front of the TV.
"YOU LEFT ME IN THAT HELL HOLE ALL ALONE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO STICK TOGETHER! WHO TOLD YOU THAT I WOULDN'T BE PISSED OFF IF YOU SKIPPED OUT! WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO WATCH THE SHOW WEATHER WE LIKED IT OR NOT! AND I ASURE YOU, I HATED IT! I'M NEVER COOKING FOOD IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN FOR YOU UNGRATFULL BASTARDS." Ray was red in the face. Max tried to defend his ground.
"Listen, It was all Kai's idea. You should be yelling at him over this. And after what he pulled walking home, skipping out again, you should be freaking out at him. Although I do deserve some of the blame, since I was in on it to." Max gave a weak smile. Ray glared at him.
"OH YA. RIGHT. REAL MATURE OF YOU, BASTARD. BLAME IT ALL ON KAI BECAUSE HE IS OLDEST AND THEREFORE, HE'S THE ONE TO BLAME? THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU IDIOT! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE YOUNGEST SHIT HEAD OFF THE BUNCH DOSEN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE BLAMED FOR ANYTHING! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN UNTIL TOMORROW. GOT IT?!" Ray screamed. Max nodded and went up to his room. Tyson and Kenny looked sad.
"AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW. The show's over." They both whined in unison. Ray gave out a huge sigh before turning to Tyson and Kenny.
"Who wants dinner?"
"Memememememe!" They both shouted.
Nine o'clock
Kai walked into the front door, took off his shoes and went up to his room. Kai had just finished walking around town and had gone to McDonalds for Supper. He was just about to fall over onto his bed, when an empty spot on the table by his bed made him glance a second time. Dranzer, his beyblade, was gone. Ray. That bastard is probably still pissed, Kai thought to himself. Since everyone had gone to bed already, he went to Ray's room to argue the point, but when he got there the door was locked. Kai pounded on the door, but Ray didn't answer. That bastard is probably fast asleep, or just ignoring me, Kai thought. He pounded on the door, then shouted, but there was no answer. He decided to go back to bed and rage about it in the morning.
In the morning
Kai woke up to someone quickly poking him on the bridge of his nose repeatedly with their finger. That's probably a food crazed Tyson, here to rub it in that Dranzer's gone, He thought. Kai grabbed them by the wrist and opened his eye's to glare at the kid, but when he saw who it was he sat bolt upright and starred at him, with wide eyes.
"Kai, I'm really hungwy." A tiny six year old's voice said.
"Holly shit! It's Ray!"
Authors Note: Alright. How'd you like. R&R, co-kay? Aight!