Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If you want to talk to the owner, call J.K. Rowling.

Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus (as second years) go back to when the Weasley twins were second years (the year before Harry, Ron, and Hermione start). Can Hogwarts handle all five of them at once? Will they manage to run all the Slytherins out of Hogwarts? (I wish.) Please R&R!

A/N: I love reviewers!!! –hint– And if anyone wants to use any of the spells I create, just e-mail me: HorseElf9@netscape.net

"Sirius, have I ever told you that you're mad?" James asked, referring to Sirius' latest "plan" to drive the Slytherins batty.

"James, this plan is completely, one-hundred-percent foolproof!" Sirius replied, looking hurt. James didn't fall for it.

"Except for what?"

"We need Remus," Sirius mumbled.

"What?!" James yelped. "Remus isn't going to want to do this, Sirius! You know what he thinks about annoying the Slytherins!"

"He'll come with us," Sirius insisted. "We just have to present it to him properly. Besides, this is different. Snape called a Hufflepuff first year 'Mudblood' earlier."

"Sirius, you know I'm going to go along with most of your crazy plans, but I think I'll let you persuade Remus. Is Peter coming with us?"

"No. I want to do this as soon as possible, which means tomorrow night, and Peter has detention, remember?"

"Yeah." James grinned at the memory. Peter had totally messed up in Transfiguration. McGonagall had had to stop the class for ten minutes to round up all the little frogs that Peter had accidentally made appear. She had not been happy, and ended up taking twenty points from Gryffindor and giving Peter detention –and on the first day of classes, too.

"Well, I'm going to sleep," Sirius said suddenly.

"What about Remus?"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"What are you going to do when he says no?"

"Bug him until he changes his mind," Sirius replied promptly.

James rolled his eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning, Sirius talked to Remus about the prank. As James had known he would, Remus refused. True to his word, Sirius didn't give him a moment's peace until dinnertime, when Remus finally relented. "We're going to get caught and put in detention," he prophesied darkly. "Separate detentions, since the teachers know better than two put the two of you, at least, in the same detention. I should kill you two."

"Whatever you say, Remy," Sirius replied cheerfully.

"Don't call me Remy," Remus said, gritting his teeth and glaring at Sirius.

"Ahh, you're no fun, Remus."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night, the three of them squeezed under James' Invisibility Cloak and snuck out of the tower, heading towards the dungeons. When they got to the entrance of the Slytherin common room, they pointed their wands at the floor. "On the count of three," Sirius whispered to them. "One…two…three! Luteus pavimentum!

The spell was supposed to turn the stone floor slowly to mud. Deep mud. Mud that would cling to the Slytherins and resist any and all attempts to remove it.

It didn't work. Instead, all three pranksters were thrown hard against the opposite wall. For a moment, Remus felt like he was using a Portkey: there was same whirl of color, light, and sound. Then he blacked out like his friends.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

James came to first. By some miracle, no one seemed to be up yet. Groaning, he brought Remus and Sirius around.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, rubbing his head.

"That stupid spell of yours backfired," James informed him. "I told you that you were mad."

"Let's just get back to the common room," Remus said before Sirius could answer James. "Before everyone wakes up."

Reluctantly, James and Sirius agreed. The trio threw the cloak over themselves again and made it up to the second floor before they heard footsteps. Not wanting anyone to run into them, especially since the person was probably a teacher, the second-years pressed themselves against the wall.

It was Snape…but not the twelve-year-old boy that James and Sirius loved to torment. This Snape was much older, with a slight aura of menace to anyone who crossed him.

Remus, Sirius, and James stared at each other.

They were so not in Kansas anymore.