Though it was still daylight hours the streets were abandoned as though it were night. It was as though some higher beings rid the streets of Moscow of their civilians to add the feeling of uneasiness amongst the determination and curiosity.
It was bitterly cold and I was very aware that my heavy footsteps were louder than were necessary, so anyone could hear and would definitely try to stop me from reaching what I desired. However, I didn't meet one single living soul from that point and I knew that I would eventually reach the scene that haunted my sleep – waiting for me. Waiting to consume me, but was a being that I would risk my very life for.
I glanced to the left of me, away from the frost-glazed road. Wrought iron bars were placed, one after the other to form a large gate and matching fence. As I walked I noted the feeling of watching the motion blur of the bars, which gave the impression that I was reaching a place far away faster than would have been expected. It wasn't far from the truth. I looked down at the path once more with my cold hands hidden in my pockets.
I kept my head down for a few blocks afterwards. It was growing darker and frightfully colder. However, it would not faze me for I knew I was closer to the truth than I ever had been stationed in the hotel.
Emotions that I knew I was never allowed to feel were surfacing. Fear, anxiety and curiosity were the most detectable. I had no clue consciously of why I was or should be afraid. I knew, though, that what I was venturing into was a key to my past and what I was about to discover would tell me who I was. Perhaps I was afraid of who I was. Perhaps by the end of this I'll find myself with no goal in life, no thirst to achieve in life. Perhaps no life at all, and I'll become what my team thought I was – empty.
Without warning I stopped walking. I didn't know why I had – only that my feet refused to move and I wondered whether they refused because of the cold. Then I knew that could not be. I glanced to my left once more. Solid grey walls replaced the wrought iron and they stretched beyond my sight.
However, I did not care for how long they went on for because my eyes reached a stone path, which, unlike the path I was walking on, was not glazed over with a thin layer of ice. My eyes trailed up the path and was greeted with the large building that dwarfed every single being around it like a great king. It cast dense, black shadow across the small courtyard and almost ventured into the road to my left.
Blanketed underneath the black giant of a shadow, I could make out two guards, protecting what was my seducer. However, when I looked at the building, when I thought about it more than I ever had and when I tried to remember it, I knew that it wasn't what I was looking for. It was something inside.
There was something great inside the grey prison. Something of great power and strength. It was something that I knew I had met once before – something that was the cause of my being. Something dark, that would deceive me, betray me, have a hold on me that would be unbreakable, but it would give me the one thing I desired among all others. The key point to why I stood before this captor now ...
Perfection.
Perfection is my life – it's who I am. Now I cannot escape, my own desire and stubbornness keeps me here. I seem to fit perfectly with Russia and its darkness, and that is why I keep returning to its shadows – I can never escape. No matter how hard I try – use it's strength against itself – I can never turn away.
Yay, tis finished ...