Holy crap...
Okay, well...I don't know if it had to do with the guacamole Doritos I ate last night or the huge-assed nap I took yesterday afternoon resulting in me staying up late last night--or hell, maybe even a combination of both--but damn. My weird-assed dreams are coming back.

Warning: Long, elaborate, and sexy dream ahead.

So Craig and I were driving through the mountains. I'm not sure where we were, either in California or Colorado. We were heading along a steep incline when we noticed a massive building nestled between two mountains off to the left. It was right there off the interstate, and clearly in view. It seemed like it was built right into the saddle between two ridges, and its pristine whiteness stood out in the dark like a sore thumb. The outer corners of the strictly geometric building configuration were adorned with red, slowly pulsating beacons.

We took the exit nearest this huge compound and discovered that it was a Microsoft production facility. So basically, it was full of nothing but labs and assembly bays. They were giving tours, so we partook.

I can't remember for sure how this happened, but at some point during the tour, I got separated from the group and got lost. I wandered through lab after lab--it was like a huge maze. Finally I came upon some sort of exam or observation room hidden way back in a corner. I peered in through the huge glass window at an antiseptic-white room, with an equally antiseptic-white table in the middle of it. But what was on the table made my lungs stop working. I pressed my nose and fingertips against the glass.

It was a Predator.

He had been stripped of his weapons and most of his armour, but still had his mask on. A series of electrodes ran across his chest. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Initially, I had felt this terrifying stab of fear, but as I watched him laying there, unconcious and helpless, the fear was replaced by awe and sympathy. I pawed my way over the glass to the door and carefully opened it. Staying wary for other people, I went and stood quietly beside the table.

He was huge. We're talking, at least seven and a half feet tall. And he was beautiful. I stood and stared at his features for a moment--the ridges and flaws in his mask, the texture of his skin...but then he started to move.

"Aww, shit," I muttered. At that point, about fifteen of the lab people came back and saw me in there. They came rushing in, screaming at me, some threatening to sue my ass, but as it was that they were blinded by my legal mishaps, they were totally oblivious to the fact that the Predator was, in fact, moving. I saw it clear as day of course, and I kept looking between the person yelling in my face and the arm moving on the table beside me. Finally, I yelled back, "DO something, he's MOVING!" And I pointed.

Everyone around me seemed to freeze, and within a fraction of a second later, someone had hit a switch that sent a high-voltage charge to the electrodes on the creature's chest. He immediately fell unconcious again.

"What are you doing?" I exploded at them after the sparks had settled. "How could you be so inhumane?"

"That's the only way we can keep him subdued," someone said quietly. "Nothing else works."

I gaped at them, then turned to keep him in my sight as I was jostled and nudged forcefully out the door.

Another memory lapse...I can't remember how I managed to get away from them and find Craig, but I did. I explained to him what I had seen--they had managed to somehow capture a Predator--and that we needed to do something. We found our way back through the maze of labs to the observation room with the big glass window. It seemed like the effect of electric shocks that were being delivered to the creature didn't last very long, so they had to routinely fry him to keep him under. No one was around anymore, so we barged in. Craig stopped moving and just stared, as though he hadn't really expected a Predator to be laying there.

"Come on," I said. "You gotta help me...this guy weighs like four hundred pounds."

Craig didn't move; he just contiued to stare with his mouth open. I approached the Predator from his right side. He was beginning to move again, his head slowly tilting from side to side as though he was trying to shake off the effects of being electrocuted several times. I reached out a hand, paused for a moment...and then tenderly set it down on his bicep. The Predator wasn't completely awake yet, but sensed that I was there and stopped moving immediately. I ran my fingers down his arm slowly, in a soothing manner, to let him know that I meant no harm.

Not knowing if he would understand me or not, I said quietly, "Shh...we're here to help." I looked up at Craig. "Come on. Help me sit him up."

Craig finally awoke from his stupor and approached the Predator's left side. Slowly and carefully, we slid our arms beneath his back and helped him sit up. With his mask still on, I couldn't tell how coherent he was. His head lolled back slightly, but his arms tensed around our shoulders. We moved so that his legs slid towards me and hung off the table. It seemed like he might be able to stand, but we would have to support most of his weight--which was going to suck. The dude was heavy as shit.

We managed to stumble down the hallway a short distance with his feet dragging along the floor. He began to come out of his haze and tried to take a few steps on his own. Once he realized what was happening, he began to stretch his legs out further to get his balance against the slick linoleum. His chin rose, his head twisted right and left, and he seemed to wake up all at once. We stopped to let him stand on his own, and once again, sudden terror grabbed hold of me. Would he realize that we were trying to help him? Or would he just not give a shit and kill us anyway? Craig and I ducked out from under his arms and stood in front of him, not knowing what to expect. The Predator stared at us for a moment, scrutinizing, then turned away dismissively and headed in the direction we had just come from.

"No!" I called out. "That's the wrong way!" Not thinking, I ran to catch up with him and caught him by the arm. He whirled to look down at me, his dreadlocks whipping around threateningly. Even with his mask on, I could feel his conscending expression. I backed fearfully up against the wall while he leaned down towards me and emitted his classic clicking-purr sound. Then he promptly turned away and headed back towards the labs.

We began to follow him since that's all we could really do (you can't make a Predator do anything), but he refused to turn back. We followed him back to the maze of labs, and he was quickly becoming frantic and confused. I deduced that he was still not altogether with it from the constant electric shocks. He would noisily barge through one lab just to find himself in a another one, and no matter which direction he went in, he couldn't seem to find his way out.

"Hey!" I yelled at him for the umpteenth time. "We have to go this way!" He continued to ignore me. I didn't know if he could understand me or not, and I was rapidly becoming impatient and irritated. I needed to do something to catch his attention.

I roared at him. Somehow, I managed to muster up some sort of animalistic, deep-lunged roar. He stopped, turned to look at me, and roared back in response. Only his roar was much more terrifying. I refused to let him intimidate me. I roared at him again. And then, incredibly, he began to vocalize in an entirely different pattern--as though he was speaking. It was, of course, nothing that I could understand. But I imitated him the best I could with the same low-toned growling patterns, not knowing what the hell I was saying. That seemed to intrigue him. He stepped towards me.

"Come on," I said quietly. "We need to go this way." I gestured in the direction we wanted him to move. He stepped towards me again. Craig and I backed away. He followed.

"Yes..." I muttered. We turned and trotted down the hallway, the huge Predator trailing behind.

Enter the second major memory-lapse. Cut to us entering a huge white hangar filled with storage containers. There were factory workers in here, and the object was to duck, dodge, and roll our way in between the metal drums, crates, and pallets of computer equipment.

I went first, the Predator followed second, and Craig took up the rear. I vividly remember crouching beside a large barrel about halfway through the hangar. The giant bay door was open, leading straight outside. Across the highway was nothing but a forested mountainside. That was our goal. I made as if to dart out from behind the barrel towards another drove of stacked equipment. But I found that I couldn't move due to a large clawed hand tightly gripping my shoulder. I looked back at the menacing mask right behind me, and he nodded towards the right to indicate that there were workers that I hadn't seen. He was helping me not get caught. And then, to my disbelief, his hand actually tightened and then released, as if to reassure me.

Another memory lapse. We had somehow gotten out of the hangar without getting caught and found our way into the back of Craig's truck. The Predator and I flattened ourselves down against the bed in the back, while Craig tore out of the parking lot and back towards the highway. Once we made it onto the other side of the highway, we stopped the truck a short way up the side of the hill. The forest started several more yards up.

At this point, the dream kind of fizzled out (sucks, I know...I'm sorry), but I can only assume that the Predator took off into the woods. I do remember though, that while we were riding in the back of the truck, he was holding onto my arm--concretely, yet delicately--almost protectively.

Hm. Damn. I kind of want to go back to sleep now so I can come up with more crazy dreams.