Once Mara was inside, she was greeted with the overwhelming scent of pepper. It was tough restraining herself from sneezing, but nevertheless she walked around the room a little. It was shaped like a pentagon, with a wide fireplace in one corner, a big table opposite that, and several counters with cooking utensils carelessly strewn about. It was a highly inconvenient room, she thought. There was no bed and absolutely nowhere to go to the bathroom.
Feeling strangely nervous, she made her way over to the table to see what lay on it. There were a few unfinished meals; what they had been when alive she did NOT want to know; liquors, and a large jack-in-the-box. She slowly reached across, stretching herself to reach, and grabbed it in her hand.
Suddenly the fireplace blew out, and she jumped back several feet. From the mouth of the fireplace came a very large, very ugly woman. Her face was fat, as was she, had oversized lips and a Michael Jackson-esque nose. Her makeup was heavy and poorly done, and her dress was too tight in places that had expanded since she had been sent into exile, and the bosom of her dress was loose, giving that region a disfiguring appearance. Despite all this, Mara looked her over and smiled. "Countess! What a surprise to see you!" She looked around the room, expecting to see others come out. None came. "But where is Cook? And Baby?"
"Cook? And Baby? They... left, long ago," Countess replied, rubbing her stomach absently. Mara felt an involuntary wave of first nervousness then revulsion. "After I was put on the Queen's wanted list, we've been in hiding... they were with me 'til the end..." Mara stepped back nervously. "Quite good with pepper, really. Ah well. Look at you! You've grown!"
Mara hadn't thought that three inches in about seven years didn't really amount to much, but kept her mouth closed as Countess walked towards her. "My, my. Now, stand up straighter. I want to look at you."
It was a very strange examination. First Countess pinched her cheeks, then her arms, all the while muttering, "How thin! How very thin she is! No meat on her at all!"
Mara backed up uncomfortably. "Now, what was this nonsense about Cook and Baby being very good with pepper?" Her mind was spinning, and she had a nagging suspicion that Countess wasn't terribly concerned with her overall health. Countess laughed.
"Oh, don't worry about that, Dearie. That recipe won't quite work for you... I take it you'll be joining me for dinner?"
"Recipe? Dinner?" she repeated dumbly. "I'm not really all that hungry." Countess gaped at her in surprise.
"Not hungry! I can't believe that; you're half-starved. Now, come here, and we'll sit. And talk. And I'll eat."
"Talk about what? This is all there is to say, isn't it? Or is there more? And where is Cook? And what are you going to do to me?" Her questions were getting more frantic, more heated as her frustration combined with her nervousness.
"Now Dearie," Countess consoled. "Cook did not die for nothing. Neither did Baby... There's plenty more to say, besides. We have our blessings, in fact, the Queen-" suddenly she froze. "The Queen!" she whispered breathlessly. "Oh, this is perfect."
Mara jumped up and backed away. "What about the Queen?" she asked, her voice tight and high.
Countess turned to her. "Think! This is the perfect way to get back into her favour. You know I'm on her 'Wanted' list," she said piteously. "Imagine! Just for talking back to her!"
"I'm number one," Mara informed her bluntly, and winced as the realisation dawned: that was the whole point of that particular segue.
"Yes, and that's why this is so perfect! If I present your head to the Queen, and eat the rest, then I'll be back into her favour for sure!" Her eyes took on a wicked gleam, and she slowly advanced.
"I really don't think that's a good idea," Mara warned, taking out her knife. It gleamed dull red and bright silver in the firelight, but Countess took no notice.
"Of course you don't," Countess hissed, taking on a completely different demeanour suddenly. "You never think any idea is a good idea unless you thought of it first."
"I don't follow," she said, bringing it up in throwing position.
"You're always frustrated with some detail in every little plan," Countess jeered, taking out a hefty peppershaker. She started shaking pepper out, all over Mara, who started sneezing uncontrollably. She couldn't stop and doubled over coughing and choking. The knife fell from her hand, and she covered her mouth, trying to keep out that horrid pepper. Countess laughed and advanced, and hit her on the shoulder with the shaker. Mara's eyes flew open and she gasped in pain, just as Countess aimed a blow at her head, which would have connected if Mara hadn't doubled over coughing again. She stumbled over and staggered away. Countess advanced, almost drooling with the thought of eating her. "You never seem to like anything going on around you, do you? Always so quiet, so serious, when you're always thinking how very boring something is, how you'd love to do something else."
"Shut up!" Mara shouted, and stood, making sure that the table was between them. Countess threw her peppershaker, and Mara dodged as it exploded, singeing her hair and some of her sweater. She fumbled around desperately for her knife but couldn't find it, and pulled out the jack-in-the-box instead. She cranked it clockwise and threw it in Countess' path as it started playing a very twisted, discordant version of "Pop goes the weasel!" and at the POP! the head shot out and let loose a solid stream of fire in Countess' face. Countess screamed and emerged, flaming and furious.
Outside, Rabbit watched the flaming Countess advance, and hopped up and down, terrified. "Faith!" he shouted as Countess drew back to bite. "MOVE!!!"
Mara moved all right, and dived under Countess' skirts, hitting her alongside the head with the croquet mallet before she could turn around and holding it there, letting the electricity pour into Countess's brain. Countess fell to her knees, and Mara saw the blade tucked into her bodice and wrenched it out, cutting as much of her as she could. Countess shrieked again and tried to bite her wherever she could reach.
Countess grabbed her arm, trying to pull her down, but Mara pulled away. "Let GO of me!" she shrieked and kicked Countess away, then wound up the jack-in-the-box anticlockwise and threw it at Countess. It immediately popped up and began belching out white-hot fire in a circle. Once again Countess emerged, but she was staggering. She still managed to somehow sprinkle some pepper onto herself and disappeared, reappearing beside Mara and clutched onto her wrist before she could pull away.
"You never liked me, you always wished everyone was somewhere else and when they were you wanted them to be with you again, you're never satisfied, never."
Mara froze and felt her wish to see Countess dead slowly fade.
"That's not true," she whispered. But her denial came too late, and Countess crumpled to the floor, hand still enclosed around Mara's in a death grip. "It's not true anymore."
She stared at the body in shock. It was the first of her old friends that she had killed, and she let the knife fall to the floor. "No more," she whispered. "No more."
Then Rabbit hurried in, and nodded quickly at the dead Countess. "Good work, now get a move on, we really must hurry!"
"I can't," she whispered.
"Of course you can! You're the descendant of Wonderland's greatest champion!" As he talked, he was simultaneously hurrying her along, pressing the blade into her hand, prying the Countess's loose from her wrist, strapping the croquet mallet to her back, strapping the jackbomb to it, and pushing her. Dazed, she merely walked along where he told her to, and finally was awakened out of her stupor by a glove slapping her face twice.
She fell to her knees, in tears. "Why me, Rabbit? Why me?" she moaned.
Feeling strangely nervous, she made her way over to the table to see what lay on it. There were a few unfinished meals; what they had been when alive she did NOT want to know; liquors, and a large jack-in-the-box. She slowly reached across, stretching herself to reach, and grabbed it in her hand.
Suddenly the fireplace blew out, and she jumped back several feet. From the mouth of the fireplace came a very large, very ugly woman. Her face was fat, as was she, had oversized lips and a Michael Jackson-esque nose. Her makeup was heavy and poorly done, and her dress was too tight in places that had expanded since she had been sent into exile, and the bosom of her dress was loose, giving that region a disfiguring appearance. Despite all this, Mara looked her over and smiled. "Countess! What a surprise to see you!" She looked around the room, expecting to see others come out. None came. "But where is Cook? And Baby?"
"Cook? And Baby? They... left, long ago," Countess replied, rubbing her stomach absently. Mara felt an involuntary wave of first nervousness then revulsion. "After I was put on the Queen's wanted list, we've been in hiding... they were with me 'til the end..." Mara stepped back nervously. "Quite good with pepper, really. Ah well. Look at you! You've grown!"
Mara hadn't thought that three inches in about seven years didn't really amount to much, but kept her mouth closed as Countess walked towards her. "My, my. Now, stand up straighter. I want to look at you."
It was a very strange examination. First Countess pinched her cheeks, then her arms, all the while muttering, "How thin! How very thin she is! No meat on her at all!"
Mara backed up uncomfortably. "Now, what was this nonsense about Cook and Baby being very good with pepper?" Her mind was spinning, and she had a nagging suspicion that Countess wasn't terribly concerned with her overall health. Countess laughed.
"Oh, don't worry about that, Dearie. That recipe won't quite work for you... I take it you'll be joining me for dinner?"
"Recipe? Dinner?" she repeated dumbly. "I'm not really all that hungry." Countess gaped at her in surprise.
"Not hungry! I can't believe that; you're half-starved. Now, come here, and we'll sit. And talk. And I'll eat."
"Talk about what? This is all there is to say, isn't it? Or is there more? And where is Cook? And what are you going to do to me?" Her questions were getting more frantic, more heated as her frustration combined with her nervousness.
"Now Dearie," Countess consoled. "Cook did not die for nothing. Neither did Baby... There's plenty more to say, besides. We have our blessings, in fact, the Queen-" suddenly she froze. "The Queen!" she whispered breathlessly. "Oh, this is perfect."
Mara jumped up and backed away. "What about the Queen?" she asked, her voice tight and high.
Countess turned to her. "Think! This is the perfect way to get back into her favour. You know I'm on her 'Wanted' list," she said piteously. "Imagine! Just for talking back to her!"
"I'm number one," Mara informed her bluntly, and winced as the realisation dawned: that was the whole point of that particular segue.
"Yes, and that's why this is so perfect! If I present your head to the Queen, and eat the rest, then I'll be back into her favour for sure!" Her eyes took on a wicked gleam, and she slowly advanced.
"I really don't think that's a good idea," Mara warned, taking out her knife. It gleamed dull red and bright silver in the firelight, but Countess took no notice.
"Of course you don't," Countess hissed, taking on a completely different demeanour suddenly. "You never think any idea is a good idea unless you thought of it first."
"I don't follow," she said, bringing it up in throwing position.
"You're always frustrated with some detail in every little plan," Countess jeered, taking out a hefty peppershaker. She started shaking pepper out, all over Mara, who started sneezing uncontrollably. She couldn't stop and doubled over coughing and choking. The knife fell from her hand, and she covered her mouth, trying to keep out that horrid pepper. Countess laughed and advanced, and hit her on the shoulder with the shaker. Mara's eyes flew open and she gasped in pain, just as Countess aimed a blow at her head, which would have connected if Mara hadn't doubled over coughing again. She stumbled over and staggered away. Countess advanced, almost drooling with the thought of eating her. "You never seem to like anything going on around you, do you? Always so quiet, so serious, when you're always thinking how very boring something is, how you'd love to do something else."
"Shut up!" Mara shouted, and stood, making sure that the table was between them. Countess threw her peppershaker, and Mara dodged as it exploded, singeing her hair and some of her sweater. She fumbled around desperately for her knife but couldn't find it, and pulled out the jack-in-the-box instead. She cranked it clockwise and threw it in Countess' path as it started playing a very twisted, discordant version of "Pop goes the weasel!" and at the POP! the head shot out and let loose a solid stream of fire in Countess' face. Countess screamed and emerged, flaming and furious.
Outside, Rabbit watched the flaming Countess advance, and hopped up and down, terrified. "Faith!" he shouted as Countess drew back to bite. "MOVE!!!"
Mara moved all right, and dived under Countess' skirts, hitting her alongside the head with the croquet mallet before she could turn around and holding it there, letting the electricity pour into Countess's brain. Countess fell to her knees, and Mara saw the blade tucked into her bodice and wrenched it out, cutting as much of her as she could. Countess shrieked again and tried to bite her wherever she could reach.
Countess grabbed her arm, trying to pull her down, but Mara pulled away. "Let GO of me!" she shrieked and kicked Countess away, then wound up the jack-in-the-box anticlockwise and threw it at Countess. It immediately popped up and began belching out white-hot fire in a circle. Once again Countess emerged, but she was staggering. She still managed to somehow sprinkle some pepper onto herself and disappeared, reappearing beside Mara and clutched onto her wrist before she could pull away.
"You never liked me, you always wished everyone was somewhere else and when they were you wanted them to be with you again, you're never satisfied, never."
Mara froze and felt her wish to see Countess dead slowly fade.
"That's not true," she whispered. But her denial came too late, and Countess crumpled to the floor, hand still enclosed around Mara's in a death grip. "It's not true anymore."
She stared at the body in shock. It was the first of her old friends that she had killed, and she let the knife fall to the floor. "No more," she whispered. "No more."
Then Rabbit hurried in, and nodded quickly at the dead Countess. "Good work, now get a move on, we really must hurry!"
"I can't," she whispered.
"Of course you can! You're the descendant of Wonderland's greatest champion!" As he talked, he was simultaneously hurrying her along, pressing the blade into her hand, prying the Countess's loose from her wrist, strapping the croquet mallet to her back, strapping the jackbomb to it, and pushing her. Dazed, she merely walked along where he told her to, and finally was awakened out of her stupor by a glove slapping her face twice.
She fell to her knees, in tears. "Why me, Rabbit? Why me?" she moaned.