Welcome to my glorious chapter six, dedicated to my mom! Not like she's ever going to read this, though. For one, it cusses big time in the entire story, and I think she'd have a heart attack and die, and another, she wouldn't understand the half of it. Mothers are so weird about KND, you ever notice that? I try explaining, and she just kind of looks at me funny and goes back to washing the dishes or whatever chore she's doing.
But still, it's dedicated to her. She needs to take a chill pill these days. I'm starting to worry – all she does is complain, yell, complain, and yell. It's scary.
Oh, by the way, if you don't like 1/5 that much, you probably won't enjoy this chapter...
Oh, well, enough of my personal life, here's the chapter! Oh, Numbuh Four!
Numbuh Four: Ah know, ah know. (clears throat) Pika doesn't own Codename: Kids Next Door or any related characters or ideas. She does own three pennies, though.
Hey! I have four, not three!
(Oh, by the way, if you don't like 1/5 that much, you probably won't enjoy this chapter...)
Chapter Six
Time inched on like a slug on the sidewalk. I'm not kidding, either. You try listening to a pre-teen who has a major crush on you babble on about nothing for thirty minutes. How could anyone stand this girl?
"And then I said, 'If you like me enough, you'll go away,' and – Wally? Wally? Wally, are you listening to me?!"
I blinked. "Oh, yeah, sure, what 'bout the nail polish again?"
"Wally," she groaned. "I was talking about that twenty minutes ago! Or are you just too busy staring at HER to care about what I have to say?"
Holy crap. If a snot-nosed girl like Numbuh Thirty-Three has noticed me staring at Kuki, no doubt Kuki has, too!
I sighed. No use in hiding it when it was practically written all over my face. Besides, it might get Numbuh Thirty-Three to stop bugging me! "Yeah...ah can't 'elp it, though."
She scoffed like I thought she would. "What's so great about HER?"
I glared at her. "She does 'ave a name, ya know."
"Okay, then, what's so special about Kuki?" She asked in a taunting, yet displeased manner.
"Everything."
Oh, God, Wallabee, shut your damn mouth before every damn secret hiding away in your damn head comes spilling out!
"'Everything'?" She repeated the word like it was new to her. "Yeah, right! She screams at getting her foot caught in a hole! Yeah, she's really special all right!"
"'Ey, now!" I snapped on her, and she looked a bit frightened at my change of tone. "Ah can't 'elp it if yer jealous. Ya gotta realize yer only twelve, and ah'm nearly eighteen. Six years difference isn't a plus fer ya."
Numbuh Thirty-Three frowned, and I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to make you mad..."
"It's okay," I said. "Ya didn't mean ter. Ah was twelve once."
"Did you like girls?"
The question's answer was so obvious that I at first only grinned, thinking she should know my reply, but instead she sat there blinking like she'd never met me before in her life. "Did ah? 'e-'eck yeah! In fact, ah loiked one girl in particular."
"Kuki?" There was a sudden change in her pitch – the green monster of jealousy.
"Yup."
"And you still like her?"
I tried to hide my smile, but I could feel it tugging at the corners of my mouth so I let it go. "Well, ah asked 'er out when ah was twelve, an' we went out fer a year."
I can't believe I am telling this to a girl I have hardly known for an hour. God, I need to get a psychiatrist before the world knows of my past.
"What happened?"
Was it just me, or does she actually sound...concerned?
"Ah broke up with 'er. What else was ah supposed ter do when ah saw 'er flirtin' with that jack-ah mean, er, meany Evan Newman. Ah didn't loike it one bit."
Who would, really? I mean, c'mon. Imagine that you had a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever, and they just started flirting with the new kid across the street from your house? Are you going to be angry? HELL YES YOU ARE!! She/He is your girlfriend/boyfriend for Pete's sake.
I still don't know who that Pete guy is, but he sure has a lot of people praying for his sake, the lucky dude.
"Oh, well, I'm always here for you, you know."
Well, duh, you won't ever go away, you creepy little freak.
"Er, thanks, ah guess," I said with a yawn, my eyes making contact with Kuki's for a split second until she looked away. Damn, get over her, Wallabee! She doesn't like you, remember?!
I guess my yawn has some kind of contagious aura to it because the next thing you know, Numbuh Thirty-Three is yawning and snuggling up to me with her head on my chest like I actually wanted it to be there. I watched in terror as her eyes closed. She was asleep.
Great, now I can't even move, let alone get some time away from the girl.
With a sigh, my eyes went on Kuki. She was laughing and smiling as she talked to Numbuh Twenty-Five, who was only rolling her eyes and muttering things.
God, she's beautiful. Kuki, I mean.
That's it – I can't stand it. The second I get out of this, er, "position", I'm going to tell her that I like her! I cannot keep torturing myself. Sure, she may hate me, but I've got to get this thing off my chest.
Literally!
####
The flashlight was starting to lose power now. I didn't like this, I didn't like this at all. No lights in a place where there's someone probably waiting to pounce on us the second we opened the door. Yeah, that's a reassuring thought.
It was spooky to say the least. Sure, I don't normally get scared, but I am getting a very bad feeling about this place. And it's telling me that we shouldn't be here. It says we should run now and return to earth like where typical seventeen-year-old kids should be.
Well, then again, we aren't exactly typical seventeen-year-old kids. I mean, do "typical seventeen-year-old kids" get to go flying up in a spaceship to KND Moon Base every day? Noooo.
Numbuh Thirty-Three, however, was still cuddling up to me, much to my disappointment. You think she would get the picture that we are six years apart, and a romance is never going to blossom. But she's being a naïve little brat like most girls are at that age.
Nigel and Abby were talking in the corner. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but...okay, so I did mean to eavesdrop, but let's just say that you don't know that and I don't know that. Okay, anyways...
"Numbuh Five, if we don't make it, I just wanted to kind of tell you something. It's kind of stupid really, and, um," Nigel's face was getting beet red now, something I found highly entertaining. "Well, maybe not stupid, I mean, I don't know! It's hard to describe really."
Was he actually going to tell her? Oh, this is going to be good. Who's got the popcorn?
"Yes, what is it, Nig-er, Numbuh One?"
God, like she really doesn't know. He's made it even more obvious than me! Me with Kuki, I mean.
"Well, um...ya see, you know, um...You...I..."
"DAMNIT, NUMBUH ONE, TELL 'ER THAT YA LOVE 'ER ALREADY!"
Oh, God, help me. Help me now. Help me before everyone that is glaring at me kills me for 1) cussing and 2) ruining the so-called "surprise".
But the thing that most gets me is that I didn't even wake Numbuh Thirty-Three who is, like, five inches away from my face. The most she did was grumble, "Never mind about the green elephants," and turn her head a little.
Well, the silence was a little refreshing seeing as I hadn't had a quiet moment with Numbuh Thirty-Three trailing after my every step. But still, I wish everyone would stop glaring at me like I was one of the Delightful Dorks or something.
"Er, is this true, Numbuh One...?"
God bless you, Abby. Dear God, bless you for breaking that awful silence.
"Um...well...yes."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Um, uh, cool?"
"Uh, okay?"
Puh-LEEZ!! I shouted it out for practically the entire universe to hear, and they are still acting like Nigel hasn't even told her yet! AAARRRRGHHHHHHHH.
"Oh, an' Numbuh Five loves ya, too, Numbuh One."
There. Now I feel better.
I just wish people would stop glaring. I mean, hello! I thought I was doing something good here!
"JUST KISS ALREADY!!" Hoagie yelled at the two of them, and their faces turned the color of apples, but they slowly looked at each other in the eyes, and leaned in and just started French-kissing in front of all of us.
French-kissing. In front of kids, too.
Thank the Lord Numbuh Thirty-Three is asleep. She does not need any more ideas.
I sat there watching them in disgust. They so owed me big time. I doubt Nigel would've ever said anything if it weren't for my sudden outburst. I mean, c'mon, I doubt they would ever start French-kissing if it weren't for me.
"EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeWWWWW!!" Numbuh Twenty-Five and One-Oh-Six said in unison, covering their eyes and making hacking sounds. Oh, please. Your parents do it all the time when you're not looking.
UGH, I do not need to be thinking about parents sticking tongues down each other's throats at a time right now. I think I'm going to vomit.
"I KNEW IT!"
The two lovebirds froze in their kissing, and turned in each other's arms to look at Numbuh Two-Twenty-Eight, who was smiling very mischievously.
"Uh, what?" Nigel asked, his face on fire.
"I knew you guys liked each other! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! My suspicions were correct the entire time!" And the little boy did a victory dance.
"Uh, okay, are you two done eating each other's faces now?" Numbuh One-Oh-Six asked, peeking through the fingers in his hand.
"Er, yes..." Nigel replied, and the two broke apart from each other completely like nothing had ever happened.
"Good," said an aggravated Numbuh Twenty-Five, and like Numbuh One-Oh- Six, she removed the hands from her face. "Now, if you'd like to continue that mushy stuff, well, I have a place for you to do that...IN YOUR OWN SPARE TIME AWAY FROM ME AND THE KND MOON BASE IN PARTICULAR!!!!"
Ha. Serves them right for just giving us that "public display of affection".
I was about to stand up, but then remembered Numbuh Thirty-Three curled up asleep in my lap. Maybe that was why Kuki was staring so freakily at me.
Okay, um, it's not what you think? I'm not a child molester, and she knows this, so why the heck is she staring at me like that?
Maybe she's—no. Never mind. Forget it.
I mean, Kuki wouldn't be jealous of a twelve-year-old girl, right? She should be able to tell by now that I can't stand the little heathen. Woah. I never thought I'd use the word heathen. Or think it.
But really. If she's jealous...wait, if she's jealous, that's great! I can get her attention!! But would flirting with a girl who is six years younger than me really get her to look my way?
...Yeah. Maybe.
Ugh. She might think I actually like little girls. That's not right. But Numbuh Thirty-Three's the only other girl besides Kuki and Abby and Numbuh Twenty-Five. Heaven knows I won't go flirting with Abby with Nigel around, and Heaven also knows that Numbuh Twenty-Five would be really freaked out.
Wouldn't blame her. A seventeen-year-old guy hitting on an eleven- year-old is kind of scary. Er, IS scary.
Maybe I won't have to flirt. Maybe I could just let Numbuh Thirty- Three do whatever she wants with me and act like I don't care? She just better not kiss me. I think I will lose it (if I haven't already) if she even tries to get those lips near mine. If she kisses me...God, don't let me even think about that.
Oh well. I guess I'll just have to let her do whatever and see what happens.
...If she'd ever wake up!
Eeeehhh, I disliked that chapter very much. I mean, not only did I get Nigel and Abby together already in the 6th chapter, I made Wally think about parents French-kissing and child molesters! AAHH – two evil and disgusting things of the world!! I'm dead. God, please forgive me!
Oh, just review...if you even have the ability to review after reading such disturbing thoughts. I mean – I sure as heck probably wouldn't.
Preview of next chapter (maybe it will get your mind off "things"):
The flashlight was on the point of flickering now. Any minute now it would go out and we would be in complete darkness with a kidnapper. Oh, God, that's a scary thought. I mean, it may even be a murderer...it tried to hurt Abby, and that's enough for me to be convinced.
What are we going to do if the light goes out? I mean, it is not like we were all born with night vision and can sneak our way out through the entire Moon Base headquarters to the spaceship. Damnit, Nigel, I knew we should've parked it by the control room!
Numbuh Thirty-Three's still not awake. I don't get this – she's asleep when I actually want her awake. I think my legs are numb.
Wait. What the hell!
Kuki is walking over towards me. Holy shit!! What do I DO?! Do I push Numbuh Thirty-Three off of me and start talking to her?! Or do I just sit here stupidly with Numbuh Thirty-Three resting her head on my chest?!
I am dead. So, so dead!!
But still, it's dedicated to her. She needs to take a chill pill these days. I'm starting to worry – all she does is complain, yell, complain, and yell. It's scary.
Oh, by the way, if you don't like 1/5 that much, you probably won't enjoy this chapter...
Oh, well, enough of my personal life, here's the chapter! Oh, Numbuh Four!
Numbuh Four: Ah know, ah know. (clears throat) Pika doesn't own Codename: Kids Next Door or any related characters or ideas. She does own three pennies, though.
Hey! I have four, not three!
(Oh, by the way, if you don't like 1/5 that much, you probably won't enjoy this chapter...)
Chapter Six
Time inched on like a slug on the sidewalk. I'm not kidding, either. You try listening to a pre-teen who has a major crush on you babble on about nothing for thirty minutes. How could anyone stand this girl?
"And then I said, 'If you like me enough, you'll go away,' and – Wally? Wally? Wally, are you listening to me?!"
I blinked. "Oh, yeah, sure, what 'bout the nail polish again?"
"Wally," she groaned. "I was talking about that twenty minutes ago! Or are you just too busy staring at HER to care about what I have to say?"
Holy crap. If a snot-nosed girl like Numbuh Thirty-Three has noticed me staring at Kuki, no doubt Kuki has, too!
I sighed. No use in hiding it when it was practically written all over my face. Besides, it might get Numbuh Thirty-Three to stop bugging me! "Yeah...ah can't 'elp it, though."
She scoffed like I thought she would. "What's so great about HER?"
I glared at her. "She does 'ave a name, ya know."
"Okay, then, what's so special about Kuki?" She asked in a taunting, yet displeased manner.
"Everything."
Oh, God, Wallabee, shut your damn mouth before every damn secret hiding away in your damn head comes spilling out!
"'Everything'?" She repeated the word like it was new to her. "Yeah, right! She screams at getting her foot caught in a hole! Yeah, she's really special all right!"
"'Ey, now!" I snapped on her, and she looked a bit frightened at my change of tone. "Ah can't 'elp it if yer jealous. Ya gotta realize yer only twelve, and ah'm nearly eighteen. Six years difference isn't a plus fer ya."
Numbuh Thirty-Three frowned, and I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to make you mad..."
"It's okay," I said. "Ya didn't mean ter. Ah was twelve once."
"Did you like girls?"
The question's answer was so obvious that I at first only grinned, thinking she should know my reply, but instead she sat there blinking like she'd never met me before in her life. "Did ah? 'e-'eck yeah! In fact, ah loiked one girl in particular."
"Kuki?" There was a sudden change in her pitch – the green monster of jealousy.
"Yup."
"And you still like her?"
I tried to hide my smile, but I could feel it tugging at the corners of my mouth so I let it go. "Well, ah asked 'er out when ah was twelve, an' we went out fer a year."
I can't believe I am telling this to a girl I have hardly known for an hour. God, I need to get a psychiatrist before the world knows of my past.
"What happened?"
Was it just me, or does she actually sound...concerned?
"Ah broke up with 'er. What else was ah supposed ter do when ah saw 'er flirtin' with that jack-ah mean, er, meany Evan Newman. Ah didn't loike it one bit."
Who would, really? I mean, c'mon. Imagine that you had a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever, and they just started flirting with the new kid across the street from your house? Are you going to be angry? HELL YES YOU ARE!! She/He is your girlfriend/boyfriend for Pete's sake.
I still don't know who that Pete guy is, but he sure has a lot of people praying for his sake, the lucky dude.
"Oh, well, I'm always here for you, you know."
Well, duh, you won't ever go away, you creepy little freak.
"Er, thanks, ah guess," I said with a yawn, my eyes making contact with Kuki's for a split second until she looked away. Damn, get over her, Wallabee! She doesn't like you, remember?!
I guess my yawn has some kind of contagious aura to it because the next thing you know, Numbuh Thirty-Three is yawning and snuggling up to me with her head on my chest like I actually wanted it to be there. I watched in terror as her eyes closed. She was asleep.
Great, now I can't even move, let alone get some time away from the girl.
With a sigh, my eyes went on Kuki. She was laughing and smiling as she talked to Numbuh Twenty-Five, who was only rolling her eyes and muttering things.
God, she's beautiful. Kuki, I mean.
That's it – I can't stand it. The second I get out of this, er, "position", I'm going to tell her that I like her! I cannot keep torturing myself. Sure, she may hate me, but I've got to get this thing off my chest.
Literally!
####
The flashlight was starting to lose power now. I didn't like this, I didn't like this at all. No lights in a place where there's someone probably waiting to pounce on us the second we opened the door. Yeah, that's a reassuring thought.
It was spooky to say the least. Sure, I don't normally get scared, but I am getting a very bad feeling about this place. And it's telling me that we shouldn't be here. It says we should run now and return to earth like where typical seventeen-year-old kids should be.
Well, then again, we aren't exactly typical seventeen-year-old kids. I mean, do "typical seventeen-year-old kids" get to go flying up in a spaceship to KND Moon Base every day? Noooo.
Numbuh Thirty-Three, however, was still cuddling up to me, much to my disappointment. You think she would get the picture that we are six years apart, and a romance is never going to blossom. But she's being a naïve little brat like most girls are at that age.
Nigel and Abby were talking in the corner. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but...okay, so I did mean to eavesdrop, but let's just say that you don't know that and I don't know that. Okay, anyways...
"Numbuh Five, if we don't make it, I just wanted to kind of tell you something. It's kind of stupid really, and, um," Nigel's face was getting beet red now, something I found highly entertaining. "Well, maybe not stupid, I mean, I don't know! It's hard to describe really."
Was he actually going to tell her? Oh, this is going to be good. Who's got the popcorn?
"Yes, what is it, Nig-er, Numbuh One?"
God, like she really doesn't know. He's made it even more obvious than me! Me with Kuki, I mean.
"Well, um...ya see, you know, um...You...I..."
"DAMNIT, NUMBUH ONE, TELL 'ER THAT YA LOVE 'ER ALREADY!"
Oh, God, help me. Help me now. Help me before everyone that is glaring at me kills me for 1) cussing and 2) ruining the so-called "surprise".
But the thing that most gets me is that I didn't even wake Numbuh Thirty-Three who is, like, five inches away from my face. The most she did was grumble, "Never mind about the green elephants," and turn her head a little.
Well, the silence was a little refreshing seeing as I hadn't had a quiet moment with Numbuh Thirty-Three trailing after my every step. But still, I wish everyone would stop glaring at me like I was one of the Delightful Dorks or something.
"Er, is this true, Numbuh One...?"
God bless you, Abby. Dear God, bless you for breaking that awful silence.
"Um...well...yes."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Um, uh, cool?"
"Uh, okay?"
Puh-LEEZ!! I shouted it out for practically the entire universe to hear, and they are still acting like Nigel hasn't even told her yet! AAARRRRGHHHHHHHH.
"Oh, an' Numbuh Five loves ya, too, Numbuh One."
There. Now I feel better.
I just wish people would stop glaring. I mean, hello! I thought I was doing something good here!
"JUST KISS ALREADY!!" Hoagie yelled at the two of them, and their faces turned the color of apples, but they slowly looked at each other in the eyes, and leaned in and just started French-kissing in front of all of us.
French-kissing. In front of kids, too.
Thank the Lord Numbuh Thirty-Three is asleep. She does not need any more ideas.
I sat there watching them in disgust. They so owed me big time. I doubt Nigel would've ever said anything if it weren't for my sudden outburst. I mean, c'mon, I doubt they would ever start French-kissing if it weren't for me.
"EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeWWWWW!!" Numbuh Twenty-Five and One-Oh-Six said in unison, covering their eyes and making hacking sounds. Oh, please. Your parents do it all the time when you're not looking.
UGH, I do not need to be thinking about parents sticking tongues down each other's throats at a time right now. I think I'm going to vomit.
"I KNEW IT!"
The two lovebirds froze in their kissing, and turned in each other's arms to look at Numbuh Two-Twenty-Eight, who was smiling very mischievously.
"Uh, what?" Nigel asked, his face on fire.
"I knew you guys liked each other! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! My suspicions were correct the entire time!" And the little boy did a victory dance.
"Uh, okay, are you two done eating each other's faces now?" Numbuh One-Oh-Six asked, peeking through the fingers in his hand.
"Er, yes..." Nigel replied, and the two broke apart from each other completely like nothing had ever happened.
"Good," said an aggravated Numbuh Twenty-Five, and like Numbuh One-Oh- Six, she removed the hands from her face. "Now, if you'd like to continue that mushy stuff, well, I have a place for you to do that...IN YOUR OWN SPARE TIME AWAY FROM ME AND THE KND MOON BASE IN PARTICULAR!!!!"
Ha. Serves them right for just giving us that "public display of affection".
I was about to stand up, but then remembered Numbuh Thirty-Three curled up asleep in my lap. Maybe that was why Kuki was staring so freakily at me.
Okay, um, it's not what you think? I'm not a child molester, and she knows this, so why the heck is she staring at me like that?
Maybe she's—no. Never mind. Forget it.
I mean, Kuki wouldn't be jealous of a twelve-year-old girl, right? She should be able to tell by now that I can't stand the little heathen. Woah. I never thought I'd use the word heathen. Or think it.
But really. If she's jealous...wait, if she's jealous, that's great! I can get her attention!! But would flirting with a girl who is six years younger than me really get her to look my way?
...Yeah. Maybe.
Ugh. She might think I actually like little girls. That's not right. But Numbuh Thirty-Three's the only other girl besides Kuki and Abby and Numbuh Twenty-Five. Heaven knows I won't go flirting with Abby with Nigel around, and Heaven also knows that Numbuh Twenty-Five would be really freaked out.
Wouldn't blame her. A seventeen-year-old guy hitting on an eleven- year-old is kind of scary. Er, IS scary.
Maybe I won't have to flirt. Maybe I could just let Numbuh Thirty- Three do whatever she wants with me and act like I don't care? She just better not kiss me. I think I will lose it (if I haven't already) if she even tries to get those lips near mine. If she kisses me...God, don't let me even think about that.
Oh well. I guess I'll just have to let her do whatever and see what happens.
...If she'd ever wake up!
Eeeehhh, I disliked that chapter very much. I mean, not only did I get Nigel and Abby together already in the 6th chapter, I made Wally think about parents French-kissing and child molesters! AAHH – two evil and disgusting things of the world!! I'm dead. God, please forgive me!
Oh, just review...if you even have the ability to review after reading such disturbing thoughts. I mean – I sure as heck probably wouldn't.
Preview of next chapter (maybe it will get your mind off "things"):
The flashlight was on the point of flickering now. Any minute now it would go out and we would be in complete darkness with a kidnapper. Oh, God, that's a scary thought. I mean, it may even be a murderer...it tried to hurt Abby, and that's enough for me to be convinced.
What are we going to do if the light goes out? I mean, it is not like we were all born with night vision and can sneak our way out through the entire Moon Base headquarters to the spaceship. Damnit, Nigel, I knew we should've parked it by the control room!
Numbuh Thirty-Three's still not awake. I don't get this – she's asleep when I actually want her awake. I think my legs are numb.
Wait. What the hell!
Kuki is walking over towards me. Holy shit!! What do I DO?! Do I push Numbuh Thirty-Three off of me and start talking to her?! Or do I just sit here stupidly with Numbuh Thirty-Three resting her head on my chest?!
I am dead. So, so dead!!