Disclaimer: OH! The days roll by and I still don't have my Kenshin! I can keep wishing though… yes… Fuzzy-sama, Pelvis Elvis, and Tea breath shall all me mine…. And their little friends too!

Author's Notes: I am here to say that this fic really had no plot. It had a vague idea and what you have been reading so far is what I can come up with to get to the ending plot. If you can't tell, both of our main characters have finally come to terms with the fact that……….. well, that Battousai has some emotion in there. You'll see. I don't know how much longer this fic will go on, but I don't see an ending too soon in the future. Maybe 5 or 6 more chapters, okay? Enjoy this one! PS- I GOT THE THIRD MANGA! Happiness! In the little 'sidestory', Kaoru, Megumi, and Yahiko all brother and sisters, and Yahiko had a ponytail. LOL! READ FINAL AUTHOR'S NOTES!

Breaking Through

Chapter 12- Beginnings of Jinchuu

The hurt was so strong. But there was something oddly comforting about this. Had you asked either one of them how they had come to be in the position they were, neither could have answered. All Kenshin and Kaoru knew was that it felt right. Nearly too right, too comforting for them both.

In the end, Battousai knew, things like this could only lead to an impure and premature pain. This was the thing he had been fighting against the entire time he was with Kaoru. This was the exact thing he had been trying to dissolve in his life, trying to destroy.

Kaoru was asleep, he discovered, upon a further evaluation of her ki and facial features.

She looked so placidly comfortable. A gentle smile had graced her lips as she lay there, snuggled against his chest and underneath the blanket they had eventually drawn over each other. Small locks of ebony hair fell over her face and his shoulder, silent sounds of sleep escaping the small gape in her smile. His heart wrenched.

This wasn't safe. It wasn't possible. She shouldn't be like this around him; she should never be this comfortable when she was surrounded by a danger. It's wasn't honorable, it wasn't a pure thing.

But… but…

It felt so right…

Shaking his head, Kenshin leaned back slightly until his crown of red hair hit the wall. The ponytail cushioned his head from the rough wood, a small obstacle in his wish of banging his head against the wall.

Unconsciously, he drew his arms tighter around Kaoru's body, moving her farther onto his lap before he was comfortable enough to close his eyes and think. He tried to ponder how they had come to where they were.

What had happened, anyway?

"Your…your wife…" Kaoru mumbled. "You were married…"

Kenshin looked up at the emotion-ridden face she now held, her hands still in the position of holding the teacup that now lay shattered upon the floor before her.

This was an awkward moment, and for a while, he forgot the dark hole of depressed feeling he had just been in. Kaoru was being too quiet… too timid…

If he was right, she was shocked.

"That's…unexpected… you're a good man, Kenshin… therefore I'm sure Tomoe was a wonderful woman as well…" she responded, finally getting out of her state, but her voice being to soft his liking. It was lacking the passion she would have normally used. "Probably well near perfect."

A shuddering movement drew Kenshin away from the wall until he was kneeling over, a hand hovering cautiously above her own. "Years ago, I would have told you she was so. But years draw away the emotions. Even a hitokiri cannot lie, as you have taught me, Kaoru-dono, so I shall not do so now. I did love Tomoe. I loved her with the fierceness of the winds during a storm and the seas when the elements that control us all collide. Tomoe drew me out of the darkness once…but she was defiantly not perfect. She held in dark secrets…secrets that led to her tragic ending. I still love her, but the emotion has dimmed with the years of bloodshed…"

Kaoru drew her hand back to reach for a towel to clean up the broken clay glass, but Kenshin persisted and took a hold of her hand.

"I still love her, as I've said. But the years of anger and warring emotions led to what you saw when you met me… a shell devoid of emotion, someone simply existing in this world with no path. Her death left me that…that…empty. I no longer had the passion that encompassed me when I first became the Hitokiri Battousai; my reason was gone. I was trying to protect the innocent… it wasn't until my sword penetrated her flesh that I had realized the whole time I had been killing the same people I had been sworn to protect by my sword's honor." he murmured. "I lost everything, and continued killing, but all the deaths I dealt were with no reason other than assignment."

Kaoru took a hold of his hand. "You're a good man, Kenshin, just pointed in the wrong direction…"

Kenshin shook his head. "No. You do not understand. I was back to how I was before I met Tomoe. Before I finally trusted someone so wholly that I over looked the fact that she was plotting against me the entire time, and then changed her mind at the end. She died because of that dark secret, yes, but yet, an even darker secret tangled deeper to the ending. She was killed because she was trying to save me, trying to stop the attack… she was trying to save me, because she loved me, despite the fact that I had killed her fiancée…"

Kaoru's eyes grew wider before she closed them, picturing the story Kenshin had just told her.

"So many secrets…" she whispered.

"Do you know how long I was like that? How long I dealt with that? Ten years." Kenshin continued. "Ten years since I've even felt well enough to… to even say her name…"

"It's demons like those that I; me, Sanosuke, and Yahiko, are here to protect you from. That's why you have friends. That's why we have emotions." she told him softly. "I'll always be here to take care of you Kenshin…"

"The last man I killed on assignment was the night I came back to the dojo injured." he stated suddenly. "And then there was Jineh. I haven't killed since, and I haven't received an assignment… until now…"

She suddenly found a black envelope at her feet, staring up at her with an ominous tone. Reaching down, she lifted it and opened it.

"Yukishiro Enishi…" she muttered.

"Yukishiro Tomoe, also known as Himura Tomoe, it's her younger brother. The Jinchuu proclaimed around your dojo… it's from him. He's come."

"Kenshin…" she muttered. "This could just be a coincidence…"

He shook his head. "No. Enishi was there when I killed Tomoe. Tomoe was all he had left in life. His mother had died giving birth to him, so Tomoe had raised him. To leave him with no one… it was only time before he decided to retaliate…"

"They want you to stop him before he comes to kill you." she muttered sadly. "If he attacks at the dojo, he will never get past me, Yahiko and Sanosuke, I promise you…"

Kenshin placed a hand over her mouth to silence her. "Kaoru-dono, he'll get through you. He won't go after the others. Just you. And he won't settle for injuries. Unlike the others… he has a philosophy, which is stated with his Jinchuu. I took what was most important to him, and therefore…"

She pulled away from his grip, standing and stepping backward. "Therefore…he's going to take away what's most important to you. When will they realize I'm nothing in your eyes, Kenshin? When will they see that? I've accepted that…I'm no more to you than Sanosuke or Yahiko…"

Kenshin himself stood, using his sword to balance his shaky legs. "That's not true."

"They… what?" she asked, her eyes already filled with tears from his story and the emotional rage she felt no other way to produce without inflicting pain.

"What you said…it isn't true…you don't know how much you've changed me since I ran into you…" he stated, keeping his eyes shielded. "I've been pulling away all this time, Kaoru-dono…all this time…"

Kaoru looked at him for a while, trying to decipher his words. Nothing coming from him was making anymore sense.

"I've been pulling away, hiding things. You've been evoking so much, pushing all the right buttons, making me feel things again. I never wanted to. You've been so much like Tomoe…but so different at the same time…you're more passionate in what you believe in, stronger, more persistent…but you're just as caring as she was, just as mysterious…just as determined to get through to me…" he continued. "And all this time I've been trying to pull away before I blurted out something I didn't meant to say… somehow, someway, you…"

"Kenshin, no." she stated. "You… you had Tomoe…"

"That's what I've been trying to tell myself. To stop the same mistake…but you just… you understood…you cared despite who I was…"

Kaoru drew in closer, her hands on his face. "Kenshin, look at me."

Kenshin lifted his head.

"There is more to you… you just didn't let anyone else see it…"

"But you did." he stated. "You saw. I…I can't hide from you anymore, Kaoru-dono…even if it is to protect the tattered heart now resides within me…if it is to keep you at bay from my enemies…I just can't hide…"

And with that, he had tipped her chin up, and almost slowly, but mostly with a lustful hunger he could not longer contain, he captured her lips in a kiss that would have burst the heavens.

Reopening his eyes, Kenshin focused again down at Kaoru.

The scent of jasmines wafted up toward him, encompassing his body with the smell that had haunted him so many nights before, and bringing a strange sort of calm. He looked over her angelic face, before reaching up to readjust a piece of her kimono that had fallen from her shoulder. Kenshin's fingers flew over her collarbone with a featherlike gentleness before he drew away.

A danger was now instilled in her life. It was guaranteed. Kenshin realized this the moment he began his extreme actions with the kiss. He had sealed their fates. Whether Enishi realized this or not was no longer a problem.

Spies were bound to have picked up on the information. Battousai officially had another woman.

Shaking, Kenshin found the inner strength to lean back and fall asleep himself. And for once, no nightmares plagued his dreams.

Sano shook his head. Yahiko just stared.

"They really should think of getting a room next time. In the middle of the dojo." Sano stated his infamous fishbone still in place in his mouth, protruding, like always from the corner of his mouth. "And you shouldn't be staring, Yahiko."

"It's not that." he said. "Look at the dojo. It says Jinchuu everywhere."

His gaze stayed riveted upon the couple lying on the floor. "So that's why they fell asleep out here." A grin crossed his face. "So Kenshin took advantage of Jou-chan's weak moment and got a little of what he wanted."

"You can stop making up your own scenarios as to what happened here." Kenshin's voice came from Kaoru's side. "You're not right anyway."

In shock Sano grabbed Yahiko and attempted to hide his massively tall body behind his brother. Yahiko's gaze continued to be impassive as his brother tried to hide.

"Kenshin, what's this all about?"

Pulling away from Kaoru slowly so he wouldn't wake her, Kenshin pulled away from the position they had fallen into over the night on the floor and leaned against the wall.

"Jinchuu. Revenge. It's from someone in my past…they seek revenge for one I killed and wasn't supposed to." his stoic face had come in place as he muttered the answer. "I can safely say they know where I am now."

"I could've told you that, Kenshin." Sano responded, waving his fishbone with his hand. "I think a monkey would know that much."

"What about a rooster?" came Yahiko's reply.

He didn't get a chance to defend himself from Sano's hand found a resting place upon his skull. Kenshin drew his knee up and stared toward the floor at the kanji that covered almost every square inch. Oddly enough, the part that he had repaired after the fight with Gohei had been covered the most with tiding of Jinchuu. The feelings that this wasn't a coincidence rang through his head as a deep warning, and he took a quick glance over to Kaoru's sleeping body.

"I'm not sure exactly what he's after." Kenshin stated. "I know who he is and I know what I did. But… the cryptic part is what he's going to do. This foe is very unpredictable."

Sano turned toward his friend.

"Well, I can solve that one for you. When and if he shows up, beat his ass down with your sword. If he, for some Kami forsaken reason, gets through you, then he'll have to answer to this." he responded, holding his fist up. "The Futae-no-kiwami is a force to be dealt with, and I'm proud to hold up to my name of Zanza whenever I can."

"He's stronger than that, Sanosuke." Kenshin stated. "Although I haven't seen him in over ten years…I know he's got some power behind this. There is no doubt that Enishi knows what he's doing. He wouldn't attack me if he didn't. He knows I am the Battousai, and he also knows I am the man who killed his sister."

Sano turned paste white. "And Jou-chan told me you didn't kill women…and to think I let you stay here with her all that time…" he mumbled. "I guess I can't change that now."

Kenshin remained silent, processing the thoughts that echoed throughout the caverns of his mind. So many things had been left unanswered…the reason why the Shinsengumi were so close at the same time Enishi decided to show his preparation for attack… none of it made sense. So many people had come after him at the same time. Jineh, the ex-Shinsengumi hitokiri. Saitou's troops were on the dojo's doorstep. And now Enishi. Too many people too soon.

But what confused him more was that everyone one of his enemies had somehow brought Kaoru into everything, even if it was in an indirect way.

"You're Battousai, right?" Yahiko stated. "So can't you predict when this is all going to happen?"

Kenshin looked up quickly. "You won't like my inclination at the moment." His eyes had turned back to the amber shade of the hitokiri.

Sano turned back from his lazy look around the dojo so that he could face Kenshin. "When?"

"Today."

The air had been tense for hours, and now Kaoru was starting to worry a little. She hadn't seen anyone in her dojo not with some sort of weapon. It was confusing and disheartening at the same time. Kenshin had refused to say a word to her, and turned back into the hardened stoic of a manslayer he had been when he first arrived. Sano stood in the doorway with his fists raised high, preparing to attack anything that made a sound. Yahiko had been following her around and demanding 'lessons' ever since she had finished breakfast.

To appease Yahiko, she had carried her sakabatou outside and began to try and teach him the beginnings to the battou-jutsu stance. He wasn't used to it, and the movements confused him but he tried with determination. Kenshin's eyes followed her at all moments she passed him, and unconsciously she could feel his aura outside of the bathhouse as she bathed.

Everything was unnerving and began to make her jumpy. Drawing herself out of the bath, she dried off before donning her uniform again. She'd forgotten to grab anything from her room earlier, so she decided she'd just wear the uniform until she could feel secure enough to change. It was strange enough knowing someone was outside of the bathhouse.

She drew the tied to her hakama tight and finished dressing, pulling her sakabatou into her attire like an accessory before she pulled her hair up into her ponytail.

She took a deep breath before she stepped out of her haven in the bath. Her eyes scanned the area, and her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't spot Kenshin, Yahiko, or Sanosuke anywhere. None of them had been standing outside of the bathhouse. Kaoru shook it off, telling herself they had gone back inside so she wouldn't know they had been watching her the entire time.

And then, a movement above her caught her attention.

Kenshin's head shot up. The hair on the back of his neck began to stand on end. A cold chill of air had suddenly fallen through room, and his eyes shot to the slightly ajar shoji door next to him. With his hitokiri agility and stealth, he moved through the room to the doorway.

His heart began to beat wildly as a strange ki came into his senses. It wasn't a friendly one, he could tell, but all intentions had been well hidden by the person who he was sensing. Sano was in the kitchen, he knew. Yahiko was standing in the dojo, trying to see if he could recognize the person who had placed the indented graffiti around the room.

The only person outside was Kaoru.

Unless…

The door flew open instantly, and his eyes flew off toward the bathhouse. Kaoru was just walking out, and something above her began to stir. She turned and immediately jumped back, pulling her sakabatou out of its sheath.

The sharp sound of metal upon metal rang and echoed off the sakura trees surrounding the dojo.

Author's Notes: I APOLOGIZE! I have been HORRIBLE at updating, I realize this. Things just got so hectic……… but before I explain why, here's an update. Too all those of you reading Silhouettes of Shadows, I have started the chapter and I hope to have it up by next week. To those reading Building The Hitokiri, I haven't started the chapter yet, but I plan on doing that REALLY SOON! For The Legend of Himura Kenshin readers, I just have to get off my lazy butt and pop my DVD in before I can post the new on. Don't worry, I'll get to it. Those of you who haven't seen or are reading Adrenaline Adoration, chapter 2 is up and I think I'll be starting chapter 3 soon and then sending it to Lady Himura for her little tidbits. I'm proudit's already got 21 reviews! YAY! It's in a contest, so reading it would be REALLY nice of you!

Now, for why I'm lacking in updates. First off- four hours of practice a night and then homework on top of that DOESN'T leave you with must time to even THINK of writing in your stories. I apologize. Also, this was an EMOTIONAL wrecking week. You try being told to be in COLLEGE at the same time your in HIGH SCHOOL, having friends talking BAD ABOUT YOU in FRONT OF YOUR FACE, and then having one of your friends on the verge of a suicidial breakdown while you are constantly fighting with your mother. It's not fun. I broke down three times in a week. So, I haven't even had the emotional push to do anything. I'm sorry.

Love and hugs,

Crystal Renee

Ps: I posted a story at fiction press, so if you'd look at it, it's called Beauty Behind the Blood and my name is SiretaInDisguise.