Disclaimer: ….. I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS OF HOW TO TELL YOU I DON'T OWN KENSHIN ANYMORE THAN I'M THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!
Author's Note: Oh my gosh! I'M SORRY! After a two month hiatus practically, you're finally getting your new chapter. I apologize. This became so stressful suddenly, and a lot of real life problems occurred (I personally think that helping friends through being suicidal is a lot more important than writing in my fanfictions) and I couldn't bring myself to write anything for this story. It took me a long time to update all my stories, actually. FOR THOSE OF YOU READING ADRENALINE ADORATION: That story has to be put on hold. Lady Himura's computer is down and she cannot send me e-mail or give me the remainder of the new chapter. I would post the 7-page chapter I have, but I need her permission first. I apologize. If her computer is not up by the end of May, I will post the new chapter regardless. Oh, and I wrote the poem at the beginning of the story.
Breaking Through
Chapter 13- Destruction of Innocence
Destruction of InnocenceSmiles fade and reality remains
Painting tales of sorrow
Torn away and beaten again
The soul can fly no farther
Broken down and locked away
Hiding tears of sorrowForgotten again and left behind
A heart who knows no evil
Kenshin's world halted in that moment. The sound of metal retracting from metal awoke his senses and he stared forward at the battle. Kaoru slid back, her hands shaking with the unexpectedness of the attack as her eyes flew around the area surrounding the dojo. Her attacker had disappeared as quickly as they had appeared which only forced more apprehension into her. Her eyes noted Kenshin's face and she mouthed words to him of warning, ignoring the gaze he gave her.
Another quick flash to her side caused her jump, using her sword to parry one more attack. Kaoru stopped and held her sword before her, looking with a trained eye for another attack.
The next one came from behind her, and she twisted quickly, knocking her attacker out of the way and stumbling ungracefully to the grassy ground with her spin. She flipped her body over, narrowly missing a second attack aimed to pin her skull into the rocky blanket under her. Regaining her footing and holding the sakabatou before her, Kaoru's eyes darted up toward the roof to her dojo.
"I see Battousai has done well training his woman to fight back." announced the person standing precariously oblong upon her roof. "I didn't expect such swift movements from a woman."
The sound of raining footsteps caused Kaoru's gaze to be averted to the doorway, and then toward Kenshin. "Kenshin, keep Yahiko and Sanosuke inside; they don't need to be put in anymore danger."
Her request had come too late, though.
Yahiko burst through the doorway, stumbling out into the yard beside Kenshin. Not one to let his little brother get in on the action alone, Sanosuke soon followed, standing transfixed beside his friends.
"Jou-chan, what's up?" he questioned. "And who the hell is that on the roof?"
Kaoru's left foot fell back, and she straightened her posture and hold upon her weapon. Her eyes once more went to the person that adorned her roof. His eyes frightened her and chilled her with immense apprehension; he wasn't here for Kenshin. He was after here with a carnal hunger, and a carnivorous lust for blood.
"What do you want?" Kenshin's voice stated. The strained anger and narrowly contained itch to protect came through in his words.
A small cackle was his response.
"Jinchuu. Surely you know what it stands for, Battousai?"
Kenshin took a few steps farther out onto the battleground before taking his amber gaze upon the man on the roof. "I do, Enishi, and that is why your fight for revenge is agaisnt me, not Kaoru-dono."
"That's where you're wrong." Enishi responded casually, watching his foe with amble eyes. "She is the Jinchuu, she is the sacrifice. You killed the most important thing in my life, you took away my sister. Now, you will learn to feel the pain that I did."
Withdrawing his katana, Kenshin took a few more steps out onto the grounds. Enishi leapt from the roof, landing neatly before Kenshin, his sword held casually over his shoulder.
"I wouldn't come any closer if I were you, Battousai. I'll make it more painful." Enishi responded.
"You won't harm her." Kenshin sneered in response. "I won't let you touch her."
Enishi smirked. "I wouldn't attempt a battle with me. I know all about your Hiten MitsurugiI even know the techniques you have yet to learn. I must say, they are quite strong, but not strong enough against this."
Drawing his sword and allowing Kenshin to observe the power within it, Enishi threw his sheath down.
"Besides, you happen to have company."
The sounds of footsteps caused Kenshin to avert his gaze from Enishi and turn it toward the hoards of allies Enishi had brought with him. Snarling under his breath and withdrawing his sword, Kenshin used eye signals to direct Yahiko and Sanosuke to where they were to go.
Kaoru adjusted her hold upon her sakabatou, preparing for the next attack from Enishi. Her heart was pounding blindingly within her ears, and it shaded her sight a bit red with the enormous amounts of blood coursing through her body. Her left foot fell back a bit more, preparing for the strength behind Enishi's sudden take off.
Twisting into a pretzel-like angle, Kaoru forced Enishi's sword into the ground, then brought her own up to slam the blunt edge agaisnt his chin, causing him to land a couple of feet away from her. He was up again in a flash, charging at her once more. Enishi was enraged with what she had done to himthe sakabatou had spared his life, he had to admit, but she had embarrassed him in the process.
The steel of their swords met once again, and Kaoru was forced to step back as Enishi continued to advance.
Forcing his sword back at him, Kaoru turned and ran around the side of the bathhouse, trying to allow herself a chance to breathe. Her lungs hurt from being placed in battle so soon after getting out of the warm bathhouse air, and breathing caused her throat to go dry. Taking another deep breath, she turned to finish her trip around the bathhouse.
Kenshin couldn't stand it. There was no way for him to keep track of Enishi and Kaoru since both had disappeared on opposite sides of the bathhouse. The men that Enishi had brought with him piled up, forcing him to use both his wakizashi and his katana at once to make a small dent in their numbers. Sanosuke and Yahiko had been faring well the entire time, but the numbers of men continued to increase tenfold as more of them fell.
Slicing two heavily armed people at once, Kenshin was allowed another glance from an angle to see the battlefield that held Kaoru and Enishi. Kaoru blocked another attack from Enishi, lifting her own sword to the left to dislocate the shoulder in his sword arm.
And then out of no where a scream pierced through the haze of battle, twisting through the warring men as everything halted. Kenshin's eyes went wide, unprepared to see a sword pierced directly through Kaoru's stomach, staining her pure ebony hair with a reddish gleam. Enishi slashed his sword to the right, causing her limp body to fall off the blade and land roughly agaisnt the wall. She fell to the ground with a thud, the same kind of thud that would echo down the alleys when Battousai hunted his prey.
"You bastard, what did you do to Jou-chan?" Sano's voice was the first to speak up.
"I would think it's obvious." Enishi responded coolly. "But since this doesn't seem to be a befitting punishment, I won't even allow you the chance to bury her dead body."
Smoke suddenly enveloped the area, swirling around the bodies of Kaoru and Enishi. By the time that Kenshin discovered he still had legs and could run, they were gone, leaving the distraught assassin and his young friends to stare blankly at the only thing that remained of Kaoru; a large red pool of blood.
The emotions that played over Kenshin's eyes were extremethe color changed from disbelieving lavender to flaming amber in split seconds, as if his body wasn't positive which overwhelming emotion he should be concentrating on. Neither seemed to be enough to expose everything that he still managed to hide behind his emotionless exterior.
The only other time he had felt this confused was the moment Tomoe had sped before his sword and been dealt and unjust death. This time it wasn't him who cut through the one most important to him, but it hurt just as much knowing he hadn't been able to protect her. After everything he'd been through with Kaoru, all the things that had happened, he hadn't been able to save her from someone who wanted nothing but to seek revenge.
Was he that weak?
Kenshin's palms fisted together, drawing blood from his palms in the process as his fingernails dug deep into the tough skin. Everything was blurring together, murderous thoughts and urges immerging from the darkest corners of Kenshin's heart and mind. He needed to get away from here; he needed to get away from the memories.
"I need to go back." came his gruff voice.
With his new found decision made, Kenshin stalked off down the trail he had taken so many times before; the one he took when he discovered the spirited girl whose life now belonged to the hands of Kami, the one he took to find her when Jineh attacked. So many times, and so many memorieshe needed to get away. He should have learned before that there was no way for him to enjoy peace, hoping vainly that he could forget the job he actually existed to serve.
There would never be peace for him. Even after the war finally ended, he would continue to be hunted until someone managed to destroy him. A fleeting thought of how he could surprise them all and be gone before they could find him passed through his mind, but Kenshin dismissed it.
He had promised Tomoe he'd live. And he'd suffer for that reason until a death was dealt to him justly. But for now, he just wanted to forget.
With one more swipe, the sixth person of the night lost their life to the brutal blade of Battousai. His hair appeared to be melting, dripping small portions of itself upon the unforgiving ground that sucked it up with an unquenchable thirst. The scowl that crossed Battousai's face hardened with images and memories, causing a premature growl to escape his lips. The frustration pent up inside him was only leaking out slowly through each body he tore through and mangledhe had expected the knowledge of his deeds to disguise the torment that plagued him.
Death could only serve him for so longhis walls had been broken down, without the ability to rebuild them. He was vulnerable whether he was going to admit it or not. Life wasn't the same anymore.
I should have known better…
Twisting again, he cleaved another man into two separate pieces; each one thrown two yards from it's other half.
… I should have known I'd never…
After a momentary clashing of swords, the next man fell into the floor, innards spilling out upon the streets and painting the grotesque scene with their presence.
… I'd never feel that secure…
Springing his wakizashi up through the skull of another samurai and his katana into the chest cavity of another, he spun and dispersed more severed limbs and beheaded torsos.
…It was all an illusion…
Slice.
…A dragon in hiding…
Thud.
…Awaiting the moment of opportunity…
Clunk.
…To create a crevice in my life…
Swoosh.
…And end the life of…
"Himura!"
Battousai halted in his movements, standing straight from his battle stance to glance through blood laden eyelids at his leader. The glare and malice dripping aura Battousai gave off was enough of a warning, but Katsura continued to walk toward his prized assassin. Flicking the blood from his blades, Battousai sheathed his swords.
"Himura, you're pushing yourself too hard. What happened to make you like this?" Katsura questioned, stepping gingerly over what he hoped was the remains of only fourteen men. "You just turned up and took on all these assignments………"
"An assassin doesn't need a reason. We're here to kill." he stated bitterly, turning to face Katsura. "We breathe carnage and live off the blood of others. I was created to be like this."
Katsura winced. "No, Himura. You never enjoyed killing. I know that. Why did you crack? What's caused this lust for blood you suffer from now?"
Battousai withdrew his sword, staring at its magnificence momentarily before pointing it toward Katsura. "A sword cannot protect anything or anyone. It's meant to kill. That is how I will use it, without regret. I cannot protect anyone or anything. I can only destroy and that's what I shall do."
Katsura stared with pity toward the sword in the hands of Battousai. "That's not true. You are indirectly protecting people with every man you slay with your sword."
"But I can't protect when it matters!" he roared, enraged. Unable to control himself, his sword flew across the alley, sticking horizontally from the neighboring wall. "I cannot protect anything precious! Every time I've tried……… it's slipped away………."
"I know the Kamiya woman perished." Katsura stated. "And I know you still grieve for Tomoe. But neither case was your fault."
Battousai's yellow eyes searched the man before him for his meaning. "Not my fault? It was my sword which slew Tomoe, and the grudge because of that act that killed Kaoru! How is it not my fault? Because I didn't mean to kill them? Either way it's still my fault they perished. I'll suffer because of that fact my entire life."
"Mistakes are something that happen to everyone." Katsura advised. "And the only way you can make up for your mistakes is to learn from them."
The silence that met Katsura's ears was threatening and frightening, but Battousai's loyalty toward Katsura ran too deep to place him in any danger. Arguing was not something that occurred often between the two, so the moment was awkward, but neither one would move. They had a ground to stand, and reasons to dictate, emotions to swirl into one and color the painting of Kenshin's future.
It was all so confusing.
"How do you make up for murder without murdering more?" Kenshin asked, his voice low. "That is all I know how to do. I have no other skills."
Katsura moved toward Kenshin, taking on the role of strength for him.
Placing his hand upon Battousai's shoulder and leading him down the dark alley toward the safety of their clan's area, where they could travel in safety. A small calm fell over the two men, setting a serious mood.
"You can make up for all you've done." Katsura stated. "You were never supposed to become an assassin again after Tomoe died. You took on the role after your replacement, Shishio, was burned alive, but it was out of choice. When this war is over, Himura, I will let you leave without a second thought. No one will pursue you, I promise. Then you can discover how you wish to repent for your mistakes."
Kenshin turned to face Katsura. "What will that do for me, or for the people……."
"You cannot help others until you are true to yourself, Himura. Understand that." Katsura responded. "You have a strength you ignore."
Giving Katsura a bewildered look, Kenshin began to ask what and why, but he never received the chance.
"Compassion. You hold a compassion for the innocent that no other man could ever wish to hold. You've pushed your compassion away, trying to become as brutal as possible to protect yourself from the horrors you do everyday. That compassion is what will save you, what will save the army of people you so desperately want to protect. Believe in yourself, do what you feel is right. If you do not, Himura, you will lose yourself to yourself. You'll fall, crash, and dissipate before you can do what you've been working so hard to achieve."
Another small bout of silence followed Katsura's speech as Kenshin carefully thought his words over. Compassion was strength that he had considered a weakness. Was it truly as strong as Katsura-san made it out to be? What was the right thing?
"If compassion is that strong, then why does it cause so much torture to those who care?" Kenshin pondered aloud. "Why does it cause so much anguish to those who take the time to care for other people, despite the wrongs they've made agaisnt them?"
"Because, only the strong can handle that." Katsura stated. "It takes courage to be as compassionate and righteous as you were when you first agreed to become the shadow you are now, Himura, and that was what drove you until Tomoe. After she died, it was her memory that pushed you on, and your promise never to kill after the war ended. But since the Kamiya girl, Kaoru, you've been so enraged that you've forgotten all of that."
"She didn't deserve to die because of something I did wrong. Kaoru-dono never needed to suffer on my behalf, for my mistakes." Kenshin rationalized. "I was immobile……… useless……… and the battle wasn't even meant to involve her………"
"But she did. You cannot change this." Katsura reminded him. "No matter how many people you display your anguish upon with your sword, you'll never change the outcome of that fight, and you can never heal your wounds by being as brutal as you think you should. You're conscious will not take much more of the abuse you through at it, Himura, and that façade of impenetrability will fall apart sooner than you expect. You cannot safeguard yourself forever."
Kenshin turned to his leader. "Katsura-san, this……… I cannot help what I am, what I do."
"It was a defensive reaction to your grief." Katsura responded. "No one can blame you. But you must realize that as you suffer on your own, the two people you left at Kamiya Dojo, Zanza and his little brother, they suffer because of the girl's death just as you do. You're not as alone as you think you should be, and you should accept that."
Kenshin allowed Katsura's words to sink into his mind, into his body. He was right. When Kaoru died, he had purposely dropped everything to leave, and in the process, left Sanosuke and Yahiko to fend for themselves, to grieve on their own. It had been a selfish act, but Kenshin rationalized that he had not been thinking clearly the moment he did it. All he could feel was a fire of anger and sorrow enveloping his body, threatening to combust his being.
And thus, he had done the only thing he was familiar with. He began to slaughter without thought, without remorse, but to ease his mind of the memories.
"Himura, there is something that you must know." Katsura continued. "I've looked into the mishap, and I feel now is the time to tell you."
"What sir?" Kenshin questioned, opening his attentions to what his leader had to say.
"There was more to this Jinchuu than you originally expected. It was not meant mainly to kill Kaoru and destroy your life to that extent solely." Katsura began.
Kenshin turned his eyes wide. "Sanosuke and Yahiko, they are alright, are they not?"
"Zanza and his brother are alive and fine, that is not the meaning of Jinchuu. Those who live shall replace those who they have killed, by living in a hell upon earth." Katsura recited. "Enishi Yukishiro planned this out specifically so you would suffer more for what you did, for what you lost, than he had to. His work his not entirely completed yet, considering the main point of his revenge is still alive."
Kenshin stopped, processing the information as quickly as he could. Kaoru had been the main point of his Jinchuu, had she not? But if she wasn't, then who was? What else would he lose?
"What else is he planning to do?" Kenshin questioned. "I cannot kill Enishi. He was Tomoe's brother, and even though I know Tomoe could never forgive me for how she died, I do not wish to anger her spirit more by destroying her brother. What are Enishi's plans and how do you expect me to end them?"
"There is not way to stop his plans without another face off, Himura, because this time, things will not be a setup to destroy you from your own self pity. The next time Enishi takes his sword to you, he will do exactly what you think he has done, and then you will die from your self hatred."
"What do you mean?"
"He never killed the Kamiya girl. Yes, he did injure her, badly at that, but since the battle she has been treated and now resides as his trump card upon a small island fortress. If you meet him with her, he will kill her this time, directly so you can feel her blood on your skin. That is his Jinchuu."
Author's Note: FINALLY! I'm pretty happy with the chapter and I hope it was worth the wait. Forgive me for taking so long? Please review to let me know if I still have your support!
Love and hugs
Crystal Renee