Authors note: In reply to a reviewer's request, I decided to make
Voldemort's duel song by Weezer. It's a parody of "Hash Pipe" and it's
called "Death Eaters". I was bursting out laughing while I wrote this and I
hope you do to. It was really fun writing it and well, I had a lot
Starbuck's coffee to thank for the words and length....lol. No profit is
being made with this, Starbucks or otherwise...^_^
Part 6 Running back into the Great Hall after having lost the immense horde of jealous women who decided to try and hurt the author (namely me...lol) out in Forbidden Forest, because Oliver Wood decided it the right time to ask the author to go the YuleTide ball with him. The Author made it back safely back to her haven, and none too soon. As she walked in, everyone screamed and aimed their wands defensively in her direction causing her to freeze where she stood and scream as well in horror. When they all realized she posed absolutely no danger, they all sighed and stopped aiming their wands at her paralyzed form and went back to their breakfast nervously.
Walking to her seat. Author to Ron: I take it no one is taking the fact that Voldemort will be singing too lightly, are they?
Ron: Would you not say that name?! It's You Know Who.
Author: A name never killed anyone.
Ron glares: You Know Who's name is feared, you know that right?
Author: Yeah, I know that....I've read the books.
Ron: Books?
Author sighs: Nevermind...long story.
Author and Ron look over anxiously at Harry who is just dazedly waking up from his fainting spell earlier, thanks to Hermione's quick research on how to get him up. Hermione hands him a glass of iced Pumpkin Juice which he takes and gulps down in a hurry much to all of our surprises.
Harry rubs his forehead: What happened?
Author, Ron, Hemione in unison: You fainted.
Author: When I mentioned who was up next for the singing duels....I guess I won't even repeat who it was that was next.
Hermione: Voldemort.
Ron nervously looks around and then hisses angrily: Don't say that name!!
Hermione and the Author roll their eyes and shake their heads in dismary, saying drolly in unision: Whatever.
Harry stands up: Excuse me? but how is it that-- (Looks at Ron for a moment)--how is that Voldemort gets to sing? here in Hogwarts of all places...how can he get in?
Author: Oh, well now that you ask...he can get in because the Ministry's Center for Permission of Evil Dark Lords to Sing at Schools for the Mere Pleasure of Entertainment let him do it under the condition that he doesn't hurt you at all and just wait until book 5, because there are aurors watching from the shadows and all that good stuff to protect you now. Plus Dumbledore and everyone else from the Order of the Phoenix is here to protect you as well. So don't worry.
The three Gryffindors look at the author with wide eyes: Oh.
Author gets up and starts to walk away, saying: Anyway, I'm off to announce.... (stops and turns to say) and Harry?
Harry: Yes, author?
Author: Take and seat and relax...this one should be rather a one of a kind.
Walking away author takes out wand saying as she does: Sonorus! Thus making her voice carry over the entire hall in a loud announcement as she then declares: "Up next! The Dark Lord....the main evil of the series, the one everyone really dislikes and wishes was dead..."
McGonagall: Ahem
Author: Oops...sorry Professor got carried away....(McGonagall nods and looks at her condesendingly, then walks away). Okay, well, where was I? oh yes, the leader of the evil wizards whom we know merely as Death Eaters...the one and hopefully the only...Lord Voldemort!!
Everyone (except those in Slytherin who cheer) scream in terror, but when they try to get up to run...they're glued to their seats. Issuing even more screams from everyone...as author looks on calmly, waving wand: Quietus!!.
The sounds suddenly cease and she smiles: Okay...now back to normal...Originalus! Everyone remains in shock as they look around in terror.
Author sighs in relief and then announces ^_^: Now, let us all welcome...the next song in duels, shall we?
Everyone nods then applauds and the doors come flying open in a thunderous crash (Author wonders: how the heck can those doors withstand all the slamming they're taking? note to self: no more slamming doors or we're liable to fix them). There stands Voldemort, with Peter Pettigrew, Nagini, and a few other death eaters in mysterious, shrouded hooded capes. An ominous silence falls over the hall and the author and few other students see Harry rubbing his forehead in pain as Ron and Hermione hand him some chamomile tea and crumpets to calm him down.
Voldemort and the others almost seem to glide to the center where the duels take place. And as they turn to face the audience, which instinctively gasp, they reach to pull something out of their capes...everyone screams bloody murder again, but quickly stops as they see that it's not wands they're reaching for, but rather electric guitars, keyboard, and a drum set.
Voldemort: This song is to Harry...since unfortunately I can't dispose of him now(he looks ominously with his glittering, serpent red eyes over at Harry who swiftly ducks behind Hermione and Ron).
"Death Eaters" I can't help my instincts, I'll go out of my mind These aurors come to get me, try to kick my behind (Host :Damn! he heard the plan) I can't love my title if I can't kill a kid Down in Godric's Hollow where I got beat by a kid
Oh, come on and let me (electric guitars (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Oh, come on and let me Come on and let me You've got your issues (Death eaters in background: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Harry gasp: What?!!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends (Hermione and Ron look nervously at one another) I've got death eaters
I love to use my powers 'cause they get out of control (Draco snickers) I know that you don't care but I want you to know Saying the killing curse is a favorite sweet (Everyone else shudders) Of wizards that can't bother with the taste of defeat
Oh, come on and let me Oh, come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your issues (Harry: I do not!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Harry: No Way!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends (Ron and Hermione gulp nervously) I've got death eaters
I've got death eaters
(instrumentals, Voldemort is playing electric guitar expertly while the death eaters do as well, with drum set and keyboard. Author: whoa that's really cool)
Oh, come on and let me Oh, come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your issues (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends I've got death eaters (instruments)
I've got death eaters (instrumentals) I've got death eaters
Song ends and they all smash their guitars and instruments, sending sparks everywhere in a huge series of explosions.
Author is excited: Damn, that was really good!!!
Harry,Ron,and Hermione nod quietly.
Hermione: You have to give him credit you know, he was really good.
Author nods: Ya, 20 points to Slytherin for that one...and 20 points to Gryffindor for Oliver's since I did forget to add them on and all. So the score is 80 to 40.
Voldemort suddenly appears behind the author in a dark, threatening shadow: Ahem, madam...I do think I deserve more credit than just a measley 20 points.
Author turns and sees the wands pointed threateningly at her by the death eaters, thinks: Shoot I really forgot to mention to add protection for the author, damnit.
Voldemort hisses threateningly: In fact I think I deserve another 20 points.
Author looks frightened: Um, but that would be cheating and well, 20 plus the 20 points you would originally get would be 40 points for one performance *laughs nervously* I really don't think that would be fair and all.
Voldemort leans forward: I do....or do we need to convince you another way? (he points at the wands the death eaters hold)
Author: No! I mean, okay sure...why not add more? another 20 points added on will be perfectly fine by me...I see no problem to that! 20 more, for 40 extra points to Slytherin. That ties the duels 80 to 80.
Voldemort nods: Good...very good, well we're off...and we'll be keeping a close eye on you, I'm leaving a few of my followers to keep you under control...when necessary.
Author shivers: Um...alright....you...do that.
As the dark lord leaves, Gryffindors and Slytherin's glare at one another. The fight is on.
Author: Right, well, next on the duels....anyone up for it?
Neville suddenly stood up, blushing: Um....uh....well, I....I think....I think I can do one next.
Author smiles kindly: That's wonderful! Thanks Neville! for volunteering and all.
Neville nods and walks out of the hall as everyone looks and murmurs in awe of the shy, forgetful boy.
Author: Neville is next! What more of an adorable lad could we ask for?! ^_^ Good for him, we'll see what song he'll do to bring back Gryffindor into the lead!! (Thinks: I just hope he doesn't forget his lines! ^_^)
Reply to review to: Chopstix are of no use here: Hoped you like the song I did by Weezer for Voldemort!! I honestly loved the suggestion you made...since I am a huge Weezer fan myself and Hash Pipe is my all time favorite song by them! Again hope you like and laugh...cya!
Part 6 Running back into the Great Hall after having lost the immense horde of jealous women who decided to try and hurt the author (namely me...lol) out in Forbidden Forest, because Oliver Wood decided it the right time to ask the author to go the YuleTide ball with him. The Author made it back safely back to her haven, and none too soon. As she walked in, everyone screamed and aimed their wands defensively in her direction causing her to freeze where she stood and scream as well in horror. When they all realized she posed absolutely no danger, they all sighed and stopped aiming their wands at her paralyzed form and went back to their breakfast nervously.
Walking to her seat. Author to Ron: I take it no one is taking the fact that Voldemort will be singing too lightly, are they?
Ron: Would you not say that name?! It's You Know Who.
Author: A name never killed anyone.
Ron glares: You Know Who's name is feared, you know that right?
Author: Yeah, I know that....I've read the books.
Ron: Books?
Author sighs: Nevermind...long story.
Author and Ron look over anxiously at Harry who is just dazedly waking up from his fainting spell earlier, thanks to Hermione's quick research on how to get him up. Hermione hands him a glass of iced Pumpkin Juice which he takes and gulps down in a hurry much to all of our surprises.
Harry rubs his forehead: What happened?
Author, Ron, Hemione in unison: You fainted.
Author: When I mentioned who was up next for the singing duels....I guess I won't even repeat who it was that was next.
Hermione: Voldemort.
Ron nervously looks around and then hisses angrily: Don't say that name!!
Hermione and the Author roll their eyes and shake their heads in dismary, saying drolly in unision: Whatever.
Harry stands up: Excuse me? but how is it that-- (Looks at Ron for a moment)--how is that Voldemort gets to sing? here in Hogwarts of all places...how can he get in?
Author: Oh, well now that you ask...he can get in because the Ministry's Center for Permission of Evil Dark Lords to Sing at Schools for the Mere Pleasure of Entertainment let him do it under the condition that he doesn't hurt you at all and just wait until book 5, because there are aurors watching from the shadows and all that good stuff to protect you now. Plus Dumbledore and everyone else from the Order of the Phoenix is here to protect you as well. So don't worry.
The three Gryffindors look at the author with wide eyes: Oh.
Author gets up and starts to walk away, saying: Anyway, I'm off to announce.... (stops and turns to say) and Harry?
Harry: Yes, author?
Author: Take and seat and relax...this one should be rather a one of a kind.
Walking away author takes out wand saying as she does: Sonorus! Thus making her voice carry over the entire hall in a loud announcement as she then declares: "Up next! The Dark Lord....the main evil of the series, the one everyone really dislikes and wishes was dead..."
McGonagall: Ahem
Author: Oops...sorry Professor got carried away....(McGonagall nods and looks at her condesendingly, then walks away). Okay, well, where was I? oh yes, the leader of the evil wizards whom we know merely as Death Eaters...the one and hopefully the only...Lord Voldemort!!
Everyone (except those in Slytherin who cheer) scream in terror, but when they try to get up to run...they're glued to their seats. Issuing even more screams from everyone...as author looks on calmly, waving wand: Quietus!!.
The sounds suddenly cease and she smiles: Okay...now back to normal...Originalus! Everyone remains in shock as they look around in terror.
Author sighs in relief and then announces ^_^: Now, let us all welcome...the next song in duels, shall we?
Everyone nods then applauds and the doors come flying open in a thunderous crash (Author wonders: how the heck can those doors withstand all the slamming they're taking? note to self: no more slamming doors or we're liable to fix them). There stands Voldemort, with Peter Pettigrew, Nagini, and a few other death eaters in mysterious, shrouded hooded capes. An ominous silence falls over the hall and the author and few other students see Harry rubbing his forehead in pain as Ron and Hermione hand him some chamomile tea and crumpets to calm him down.
Voldemort and the others almost seem to glide to the center where the duels take place. And as they turn to face the audience, which instinctively gasp, they reach to pull something out of their capes...everyone screams bloody murder again, but quickly stops as they see that it's not wands they're reaching for, but rather electric guitars, keyboard, and a drum set.
Voldemort: This song is to Harry...since unfortunately I can't dispose of him now(he looks ominously with his glittering, serpent red eyes over at Harry who swiftly ducks behind Hermione and Ron).
"Death Eaters" I can't help my instincts, I'll go out of my mind These aurors come to get me, try to kick my behind (Host :Damn! he heard the plan) I can't love my title if I can't kill a kid Down in Godric's Hollow where I got beat by a kid
Oh, come on and let me (electric guitars (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Oh, come on and let me Come on and let me You've got your issues (Death eaters in background: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Harry gasp: What?!!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends (Hermione and Ron look nervously at one another) I've got death eaters
I love to use my powers 'cause they get out of control (Draco snickers) I know that you don't care but I want you to know Saying the killing curse is a favorite sweet (Everyone else shudders) Of wizards that can't bother with the taste of defeat
Oh, come on and let me Oh, come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your issues (Harry: I do not!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Harry: No Way!) (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends (Ron and Hermione gulp nervously) I've got death eaters
I've got death eaters
(instrumentals, Voldemort is playing electric guitar expertly while the death eaters do as well, with drum set and keyboard. Author: whoa that's really cool)
Oh, come on and let me Oh, come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Come on and let me (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your issues (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) Let me just kill you (Death eaters: whoa-ooo-oh) You've got your best friends I've got death eaters (instruments)
I've got death eaters (instrumentals) I've got death eaters
Song ends and they all smash their guitars and instruments, sending sparks everywhere in a huge series of explosions.
Author is excited: Damn, that was really good!!!
Harry,Ron,and Hermione nod quietly.
Hermione: You have to give him credit you know, he was really good.
Author nods: Ya, 20 points to Slytherin for that one...and 20 points to Gryffindor for Oliver's since I did forget to add them on and all. So the score is 80 to 40.
Voldemort suddenly appears behind the author in a dark, threatening shadow: Ahem, madam...I do think I deserve more credit than just a measley 20 points.
Author turns and sees the wands pointed threateningly at her by the death eaters, thinks: Shoot I really forgot to mention to add protection for the author, damnit.
Voldemort hisses threateningly: In fact I think I deserve another 20 points.
Author looks frightened: Um, but that would be cheating and well, 20 plus the 20 points you would originally get would be 40 points for one performance *laughs nervously* I really don't think that would be fair and all.
Voldemort leans forward: I do....or do we need to convince you another way? (he points at the wands the death eaters hold)
Author: No! I mean, okay sure...why not add more? another 20 points added on will be perfectly fine by me...I see no problem to that! 20 more, for 40 extra points to Slytherin. That ties the duels 80 to 80.
Voldemort nods: Good...very good, well we're off...and we'll be keeping a close eye on you, I'm leaving a few of my followers to keep you under control...when necessary.
Author shivers: Um...alright....you...do that.
As the dark lord leaves, Gryffindors and Slytherin's glare at one another. The fight is on.
Author: Right, well, next on the duels....anyone up for it?
Neville suddenly stood up, blushing: Um....uh....well, I....I think....I think I can do one next.
Author smiles kindly: That's wonderful! Thanks Neville! for volunteering and all.
Neville nods and walks out of the hall as everyone looks and murmurs in awe of the shy, forgetful boy.
Author: Neville is next! What more of an adorable lad could we ask for?! ^_^ Good for him, we'll see what song he'll do to bring back Gryffindor into the lead!! (Thinks: I just hope he doesn't forget his lines! ^_^)
Reply to review to: Chopstix are of no use here: Hoped you like the song I did by Weezer for Voldemort!! I honestly loved the suggestion you made...since I am a huge Weezer fan myself and Hash Pipe is my all time favorite song by them! Again hope you like and laugh...cya!