*Gasp* Five more reviews! Oh...wait...four were from the same person...but it doesn't matter. The more reviews the merrier. Oh, and Lasako? STOP CALLING ME GRAY-CHAN! IT'S GARY! NOT GRAY! Ahem. To the story!

Chapter 11: A Night On The Town

They rode in silence for a few minutes, then they both spoke up at once.

"I have a few questions," they both said at the same time.

(A/N: It's too much trouble to say "Blah blah blah" Tobias said or Inuyasha said after every line. I'll just label the lines; they'll be doing a lot of talking in the next few pages.)

T: "Jinx!"

I: "What?"

T: "Never mind. You go first, Inuyasha."

I: "Okay...first off, did you make that huge explosion?"

T: "No, of course not. How would I go about doing something like that?" Tobias lit a cigarette.

I: "Well, your sword is magical. It got a little obvious when you survived the building falling on you, your armor put itself on, we defeated Naraku's barrier, you-"

T: "Okay, okay. I get the idea. Yes, it's magical. Happy?"

I: Not really. "I noticed your little fire-stick thing..."

T: "It's a cigarette."

I: "Whatever. How is it you breathe in the smoke from it and don't...well, die?"

T: "When you can recover from a gunshot to the head overnight, lung cancer is not a problem. I heal fast."

I: "Okay...you said we're going to get drunk, right?"

T: "Yes..."

I: "But the night we met, you drank gallons of that stuff and didn't get drunk."

T: "I'll level with you, Inuyasha. That was just to keep up the 'mysterious' image. Nothing I drank that night had alcohol in it. I didn't want to get drunk and start blurting everything."

I: "And you do now?"

T: "Why can't I have a little fun?"

I: "Never mind. How old are you?"

T: "Twenty-six."

I: "No, really."

T: "Yes, really. How old do I look?"

I: "Where do you come from?"

T: "I don't remember. I've been traveling for a long time."

I: Yeah right. "Where did you find that sword?"

T: "You think I'm gonna tell you that?"

I: "If you aren't, I don't have anything else. But I'm not telling you anything."

T: "And after I was so nice and answered most of your questions?"

I: "Tell me where you got your sword and I'll answer anything."

Tobias lapsed into an impenetrable silence. Inuyasha smirked and looked out the window.

The cab deposited them at Seventh Heaven Bar and Grill. (A/N: Sound familiar? If not, reread Chapter 1...) They both got out and approached the bartender. He looked up as they approached, surly as ever, but his face brightened when he recognized them.

"Hey! Kyoten! You and that other guy are back! Drinks are on the house for you two tonight. Sure, ya wrecked my place last time, but damages can be paid for..." He gave Tobias a wink. "So, what'll ya have?"

"Two beers to start off, Wuher. And I don't go by Kyoten anymore. Now, people call me Tobias. Just letting you know." Tobias gulped some beer and smiled at the crowd. Inuyasha stared into his glass.

"Come on! Eat, drink, and be merry. Have some fun!" Tobias drained his glass. Inuyasha took a sip, then drank some more. The taste wasn't that good, but already he could feel the beginning of the effects...

*Later*

Inuyasha stood on the table, swaying mightily even though it was perfectly steady. He was very blitzed, sozzled, looped, fried, tanked, whatever you like to call it.

"Hey, looook!" he shouted. "I can fly!" He took a quick step and launched himself into the air. Or at least he would have, had the step he took not been into open space. He crashed heavily onto the ground, eliciting shouts of laughter from the crowd (who was also very drunk.)

"Inayusha, you need to relax," came a voice from another table. Tobias was sprawled drunkenly across it, prone as he swallowed the contents of his glass. He was quite drunk as well. "Like me. Just lying around, jennoying the view..." He rolled over. "Heeey, my hair's standing up. OH NO! THE WORL TURNED USIDEDOWN! HELP! HELP! HE-" He was cut short as he, thrashing around, slid right off the table and had a brief meeting with Mr. Ground.

"Ooohh, I geddit," came his muffled voice. More laughter from the crowd. Tobias struggled to his feet and weaved his way over to Inuyasha, who was sitting on a stool. Tobias sat on the stool next to him and clapped his arm around Inuyasha's shoulder.

"Inyuyusha, we're pals now, right?" Tobias mumbled. Inuyasha gave a slow nod. "And palsh don't keep shecrets from eachuther, right?" Another drunken nod. "So what'sh thish about the shards?" Tobias said, lowering his voice even more. "Jusht between you an' me."

"Well, Tobiash, it's a looooong shtory," Inuyasha hazarded. "It begins fi' hundr' years ago..." He kept talking as Tobias listened attentively. Well, as attentively as one can listen when one is this stewed.

At Kagome's house, Kagome was watching television. She was not, however, focused on the show she was watching.

Where are those two? she thought. It's been hours, and they're not back yet.

*Later later at the bar*

"That...that'sh really neat, Yuniyasha," Tobias murmured. "Abou' Naraku, an' the Shikon jew'l, and all that. But we'd better get home, K'gome'll worry."

"Jusht a few more drinksh firsht, tho," Inuyasha said, tripping over his words.

"Gooood idea. Wuher! A few more for me an' my besht pal here," Tobias shouted. He fumbled for one of his pockets. His hand encountered his sword hilt. His face brightened.

"Heeeey! I have a shword!" He pulled it out, but could only get it out halfway. "Ishn't that neat?" Inuyasha looked up and was very much impressed. His face contorted, as if he were trying to levitate his sake directly down his throat without all the trouble of picking up the glass. His face cleared and he seemed to remember something. Inuyasha scrabbled at his waist and pulled out Tetsusaiga. It transformed with a flourish.

"I got a shword too! Neato!" Inuyasha waved his around as the crowd parted to give him space. Tobias finally succeeded in unsheathing his.

"Hey! We can have a shword-fight!" Inuyasha cheered and started swinging wildly. The two fought haphazardly for a minute, then lost interest and stuck their swords back in their scabbards.

*Later later later at Kagome's house (think nighttime)*

Kagome's mother had arrived back from work, and Sota had come back from his friend's house. The only two missing were Inuyasha and Tobias. Kagome looked at her clock for the thousandth time. Where are those two? When I get my hands on them, I'll... She was jolted out of her thoughts by the ringing doorbell. Kagome leaped up and rushed to answer it.

Nobody there. Kagome looked around in puzzlement, and was about to close the door when she heard a slight rustling noise. Tobias and Inuyasha leaped out of the bush next to the door. Kagome shrieked in surprise and backed away. The two guys roared with laughter and stumbled their way into the house. Kagome watched them, then her eyes widened.

"What...what happened to you?" she said, unsure of what to do. Sota crept downstairs and Mama came in from the laundry room. Both were shocked.

"Oh, we just had a liddle fun, that'sh all," mumbled Inuyasha. "Mebbe a few drinksh, mebbe..."

"You're drunk!" Kagome hissed.

"My dear lady!" roared Tobias. "I am not drunk! He ish drunk," he said, pointing at Inuyasha, who was wobbling like crazy. "That unsophisticated, boorish cretin is drunk!"

It took Tobias a long time to try and say that last sentence, and Kagome hated to interrupt him. "You're drunk too, you know," she said.

"I am not drunk! I, am intoxi...uhh, tinoxi...umm, tincoxicated...uhh..." He struggled for a little more. "All right! Sho I'm drunk! But Kagome," he continued, putting his arm around what he thought was her shoulder.

"That's my mother," said Kagome.

"But Kagome," Tobias repeated, choosing a different person.

"That's Inuyasha."

"But Kagome," Tobias tried valiantly again.

"That's a coat rack."

"Well, you're around here shomewhere, anywaysh. My point is, even if I'm drunk, you should not treat a PRINSH that way!"

This stunned Kagome. "A...prince?"

"Yesh, a prinsh. One of tha crown prinshes, of the kingdom of-" He abruptly fell asleep and collapsed on the kitchen floor. Inuyasha looked at him blearily. His consciousness stepped out for a quick breather. He joined Tobias on the floor.

Kagome sighed. "How are we going to get these two upstairs?" she asked nobody in particular. Sota had since fled back upstairs, and Mama just stood and stared at the whole situation. She had no idea either. Tobias was resplendent in his plate mail, and Inuyasha weighed a ton besides. Sota crept cautiously down the few remaining stairs.

"I can help!" he piped up. "We'll do it together." With much straining and complaining, the two swordsmen were finally deposited in beds. Tobias in Sota's, and Inuyasha in Kagome's. Kagome sat on the edge of her bed. Where am I gonna sleep tonight? she thought, annoyed. And what did Tobias mean when he said he was a prince? She made up her mind. Careful not to wake up Inuyasha, she lay down next to him on the bed and pulled the blanket over herself and him. She settled in and slept.

Yeah, yeah, it's short. But the previous one was nine pages. I need to cool down a bit. Review! (What else is there left to say?) More shameless plugs for Lasako and Kai19 go here. (Although I haven't seen Kai in a while. Kai, where are you?) Review some more!