Summary: War has been raging for eight years now, and has hardened the Order of the Phoenix into soldiers with little hope. But can two people – one who cannot remember their past, and one desperately trying to forget it - in their experiences of love, turmoil, and death - make a future? Si/Hr

Main Characters: Sirius Black/Benjamin Smith, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley.

Pairings: Sirius/Hermione, Draco/Ginny

Rating: R – Sex, language, violence

Found Wanting

Chapter 3: An Old Friend's Advice to Another Friend

Eight years ago, Ben had woken up in a hospital bed, seemingly unhurt and perfectly healthy. But once the routine questions had begun to be asked, it was proven that this man was not perfectly healthy.

"Any family near here?"

"What's your name?"

"Do you have any allergies?"

"Where are you from?"

A blank stare with a small, almost unnoticeable shrug was the most intelligible answer they had managed to receive.

After many tests and even fewer answers, the mysterious man had been reluctantly released from the hospital, considering he had not been proven harmful to himself or others. One of the nurses there had dubbed him Ben Smith, and he kept the name as he wandered through the following years, working minimum wage jobs and moving from apartment to apartment. A few times he had been out on the streets, result of his need to constant change jobs and residence, and he had not had enough money for flat rent. He wasn't sure why, but he had a very distinct feeling that staying in one place, or exposing himself to too many people wouldn't be a good idea. He put it off as a shy instinct, and continued his odd lifestyle. Despite the lack of a résumé, the young man's charm and promise of good work led him into many employers trust… and more than a few's pants.

Ben soon found that his charm was not always good enough to get the job he desired – sometimes a little extra was needed to become employed by a lonely, working woman. And he happened to have plenty of that extra something – known as sexual stamina. Most of the woman had slobbish husbands who worked daily, came home, pumped her a few times, and collapsed unconscious on top of her, the beginnings of drool already evident. After getting used to this depressing and somewhat disgusting sex life, it was a thrilling and beautiful experience to have a young, experienced man like Ben lure you into bed. And, in return, only wanting some tedious little job at the restaurant she managed or owned.

Now, unbeknownst to him, his time had come. He had been thrown into the unknown, made strong again, and now faced his destiny.

----------------------------

Ben quickly finished up with his last customer of the day, running back to the employee bathroom and releasing what he had been holding in the last two hours. He took his apron off and rolled it up, tossing it to Alessandro on the way out, who grinned and thanked him. He had the next shift – the night shift, where most of the insomniacs around those parts came for their nightly dose of caffeine.

Slightly surprised, Ben realized that his date for that evening had already arrived, and was seated at a vacant table near the front of the store, near the door. He took in her appearance with a quick once-over, and noticed that she seemed slightly anxious, her appearance slightly ruffled. Since she had not seemed the type to be a nervous dater that morning, he frowned, wondering what could possibly be affecting the brunette so much.

"Hey –" he stopped abruptly as the fact hit him that he was unaware of the enigma's name.

Grinning slightly in greeting, Hermione blinked, realizing what vital information he was in need of. "Oh! Hermione! My name is Hermione."

The black-eyed man smiled, speaking her name, "Hermione."

Hermione slightly shivered at the way he spoke it, how each consonant rolled off of his tongue so smoothly, and not to mention the utterly sexy expression he wore while doing it. Mentally pinching herself, she decided that she was thoroughly attracted to her friend's godfather, but was also disturbed greatly by it.

"You're one of the very few who can say my name correctly," she smiled, hoping to get her mind off of the weird lust she was experiencing. She stood up, and Ben moved to open the door for her, also still smiling, although more aloofly.

"So, Chinese food sound good to you?"

----------------------------

Fifteen minutes later, the couple found themselves seated at a starkly white table in Chow's Dragon Express, both attempting to use those foreign instruments for eating, known as chopsticks. Hermione had more success than Ben, considering she was an avid lover of Chinese food, but her hands still weren't perfectly talented at the fine art. After many giggles and fallen food pieces, the two managed to use a type of shovel and dart method, that required quick hand movements before aforementioned food pieces could escape their fate and fall to the table below.

"So, Hermione," Ben began after succeeding in eating a whole piece of chicken without any mishaps, "What do you do for fun?"

"Hmm," the brunette paused for a moment, taking a small sip of her soft drink and contemplating her answer. She had been vastly surprised to discover how easy it was to be comfortable around Ben – he was just so damn charming and sociable! She remembered how very little she had gotten along with Sirius years ago – how she utterly loathed his immaturity… but, yet, how she still came to love and respect him, thinking of him as a genuine friend. But besides her obvious comfort with Ben, she remained nervous as hell as she thought constantly about how she would break the news to him. Could you even call the great important revelation of a lifetime news…?

Suddenly she gave a small, sharp laugh, buried pain and grief underlying its tones, but she herself took no notice. "I don't do much for fun – at least… not anymore."

Ben cocked an eyebrow, looking up from prodding his meal with the thin wooden stick to observe her stoic features, as she surveyed her small hand lying dormant on the table surface.

"Not anymore? Why's that? Did something happen that made you just kinda give up on enjoying life?" He said it with a small, playful smile, not even noticing how harsh his words sounded… and definitely not knowing how harshly true they were. But somehow, subconsciously perhaps, Ben felt that with that inquiry, he would come to know about her past a little more, perhaps even know what drove him so crazy about her.

Why does she make me feel so… much? Every emotion she has, every expression she makes – I just… I feel.

He had always been an empathetic person, but never to such a grand degree such as this. If only he knew that his empathy was so acute in her case because of his buried, caring nature towards this girl, and his past history with her.

"I just – something – dammit, Siri – Ben…" he frowned in confusion as she became flustered, dropping her chop sticks down and putting her head in her hands.

He's not supposed to be making me confront and relive my past. Sodding hell, how did this get so switched around?

"Yes?" Ben searched her face for a sign or clue to her distress, when he caught a familiar shine in her eye. She knew something – some tidbit of information, something that she felt she needed to tell him. She was nearly bursting with the rigorous effort of keeping this data inside, and he eagerly wanted to ease her burden, although more for his sake than her own. "Yes?" he pressed again, this time more urgently. After a near decade of never having answers, you begin to see the knowledge of things beyond you in another's eyes – you begin to see the things you never had the chance to know or see… you begin to see a whole world of answers – answers that may not apply to you, but were answers nonetheless.

Finally coming to the terms that she must face him and spill her hidden intentions, Hermione found it more difficult than had been anticipated. She had, in the little time spent with him, come to the conclusion that this man, was, without a doubt in her mind, Sirius Black. She had noticed the way all of his questions had been directed to aspects of the present or future, in case the question was directed right back to him in response. She had also noticed that his expressions and wit were a dead match to the precious Padfoot.

"Just tell me, woman," he whispered, commanding but nervous.

Looking up, she half lidded her golden eyes and exhaled deeply, trying to derive the best way to come out with her burden. She wasn't sure how to make it sound believable…

Finally, she decided on the easiest and simplest way, brought to her by a memory of Sirius one day, hanging around Grimmauld Place.

Sirius was bored out of his mind, fluttering about (in a very manly way) the house, talking to whoever would listen, just for a little company.

He had subsequently stumbled across a pair of teenage girls sitting in a dark corner of the house, near one of the stairwells.

Ginny and Hermione had both looked up after hearing his footsteps approach, ceasing their discussion and staring somewhat embarrassedly at the older person. Ginny's pale skin flushed vibrantly, remind Sirius viciously of Lily when she had gotten angry… mainly at the Marauders.

Smirking, the man's black eyes suddenly jumped back to life for the moment, "Why so guilty-looking, ladies? Anything I need to know?"

Ginny turned an even more vibrant shade of red, despite what science says is the human limit of blushing, and Hermione gave a small nervous cough.

"No!" the brunette of the two said quickly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "No, nothing-"

"Hermione, you're a horrible liar," Sirius tutted and shook his head disappointedly at her, causing her face to tinge red with anger and embarrassment.

"I had a dream!" Ginny blurted, hoping to prevent Hermione from yelling at poor Sirius again. She never really understood why her friend felt so unkindly towards the sweet, innocent man.

"What?" Sirius turned his attention to the redhead, a confused expression marring his features.

Ginny blushed, looking steadfastly at the floor. "A dream."

"Ah, well a lot of us dream. What was it about, love?"

Ginny barely surpassed a shudder at the innocent but sweet nickname. "I- I can't… say."

Sirius chuckled, leaning casually against the wall, crossing his ankles. Hermione grimaced sympathetically as she noticed the way his sweater hung off of his horribly thin frame. She really did like Sirius; she sometimes couldn't handle his arrogant statements and let her temper have its way, making her feel rather guilty afterwards.

"Ginny," Sirius moved from his casual position on the wall to kneel down in front of the nerve-wracked teen, eyes level. "Sometimes, when you have something difficult to say… you just say it. Tell that inner doubting voice to shut the hell up, and just say it." He flashed her a charming grin, still only a skeletal remain of what he was once capable of.

Ginny, captivated by his honest words and the fact that he deemed her mature enough to cuss to, let her guts spill. "I kissed you."

Sirius was obviously taken aback for a moment, and gaped wordlessly and the girl nervously chewing her lip. Then, he laughed. "You kissed me in a dream? That's what you were embarrassed about?"

Ginny looked up, her dark blue eyes wide and shocked. "You mean – you don't, mind?"

Sirius chuckled again, "Of course not, love. It's your dream, isn't it?"

The youngest Weasley grinned shyly, nodding, as Sirius stood up, still smiling. Hermione and Ginny soon followed suit, dusting off their backsides as they made their way towards the staircase.

"Oh, and Ginny?" Sirius called after them, causing her to turn back around towards him.

Sirius took two full steps towards her, and gently kissed her on the cheek, causing her skin to flare up to match her hair. "Be a little more self-confident – you're a beautiful girl."

Since then, Hermione had held Sirius in a much higher respect, now fully aware of just how much he cared to make those around him happy. And on top of that, his advice seemed fairly logical – life was just too short to be blubbering on about embarrassment.

Now, years later, she used this man's own advice to speak to him, "I know who you are, Ben. Who you really are – I know who you used to be."

Don't get your hopes up, she could be some random loony! Ben thought as he stared at the woman, contemplating her. But he knew she wasn't some loony. She was something else, something different, for sure.

He asked the one question that had burned in his mind for so exceedingly long, the one question no person should be denied an answer to.

I just want to hear it, please – God, please…

"What's my name?"

Hermione was preparing herself to utter the one statement that the man in front of her seemed to crave more than anything, but something had managed to catch her eye.

It was her boyfriend, Darren, and he was entering the restaurant with a slightly angered expression. She should have known not to bring Ben to one of her and her lover's most frequent stops. Knowing how jealous Darren could become, she quickly stood up, motioning for Ben to stay put and patient.

"What are you doing here, 'Mione, and who is that guy?"

Hermione merely shook her head, grabbing the blond's hand and pulling him back out the way he had come in.

"Darren," she began, but immediately was at a loss as to what to say. She desperately wished for some of her cleverness from that morning to return, but after a few silent moments decided that Draco had thoroughly knocked it out of her.

Then it hit her like a ton of bricks to the head - it didn't matter.

Whatever she said to Darren, whatever he thought about her and Ben, didn't have any relation to her life anymore.

"Darren, I'm leaving... for good." His eyes widened as he heard the words, and he prepared himself to begin yelling about her running away with another man, but she held a finger to his lips.

"Just listen. You're probably never going to see me again... Ah, I'm not one for dramatics..." She seemed almost giddy about the conversation, but all Darren noticed was her seemingly crazed babbling. "I'm not like you. I don't belong with you - hell, I don't belong in this world. I have something I need to do, and I've decided..." She paused here, wondering briefly if she could just turn back, call it a joke, and go back to normal. Ah, normal... Yes, she would go back to normal.

All of those years, and not once had she missed it. Not once had she wanted to go back. But that place had been where she had grown up, where she had loved, where she had killed... And now, she would die there. But more importantly, she was okay with it. Draco was right - she couldn't hide from what she was, what was in her very blood.

"I've decided to go home."

-----------------------------------

A/N: Crappy, slow chapter – not dark enough, either. Don't worry, Hermione isn't all suddenly HAPPY DOO DAH - she's just beginning to suck it up. But the next chapter will be getting back into the mood of the story – Hermione takes Sirius to Grimmauld Place, and there are encounters for both. Just how have her friends changed in the past two years, and how has everything changed in the past eight years for Sirius?

Oh, and, NO, what Sirius said to Ginny does not make her fall all head over heels, giving her false hope and so on. She took it as a compliment, and Sirius only meant it that way – he was not hitting on fourteen-year-old Ginny. Haha.

Review, and you shall VERY speedily (I already have that chapter written!) find out!