A/N: I'm sorry for the taking so long and not writing for a while, I lost the book I was basing the fic on again and I've only just found it again.
Morning light drifted slowly into the room, casting a soft, warm glow on Remus. He opened one eye. "Mmmph," he mumbled, unable to recognise the fuzzy shapes in front of him. Stretching out an arm, yawning, he blinked, opening both eyes and realised he was naked.
Naked. In a high, soft bed he didn't recognise with lavishly carved posts and thick draperies cascading down from the canopy overhead.
Taking a silent inventory, he noted that there seemed to be a pillow wedged under his stomach, and his head, most of his hair and one arm were hanging off the bed, dangling in space. An assortment of rumbled bedclothes had been tossed onto the floor below him and a rainbow of small, ripped packets, red and blue, and green and yellow, lay scattered around them.
Those where condom packets, he realised with sudden alarm. He counted. Six empty condom packets.
Six?
As he lifted his chin, he though he could here someone breathing behind him. Not only that, but he could feel hot puffs of air on his back, just below his shoulder blades, and an unfamiliar weight, as if someone were laying there, head on the middle of his back, breathing on him.
What in the blazes…?
Uh-oh. Things were starting to come back to him. Bad things.
He was getting fragments, strange shards of memory. And his head heart. He tried to concentrate. What did these bizarre thoughts mean? Something about the reception and some nutty woman telling him he really ought to have a fling. And then a key and an idiotic blonde in the hallway and he'd crept up the stairs and into a dark room…
His body felt as if it had danced the tango to hell and back. More than once. He tried to move a few muscles. Ouch. Exactly what did they do?
He had vague memories of his bed partner, of being upside down and on top of him, under him, on the floor, half on and half off the bed, of pretty much acting like a Flying Wellenda without a trapeze. That had to be some fantasy, right? People didn't really do those things.
"Ok, you're fine." He whispered to himself. "Probably had too much to drink and you fell into a stupor in some guy's bed. Probably you where both too drunk to perform and nothing happened."
Comforting, but hardly realistic given the aftershocks still humming through his nervous system. Not to mention those empty condom packets.
"Well," he continued, trying not to panic, "whatever you did, he did it, too. Whoever he is."
Quietly, carefully, trying not to fall into hysteria, he eased himself back into the bed all the way, craning his neck so he could see who was back there, breathing on him.
Whoever he was rolled away, freeing Remus, and he saw dark hair, a beautifully sculpted torso, broad shoulders…He couldn't make out the side of his face, but a picture fell into his muddle brain with a clunk. A picture of a man sanding at the altar, beaming.
"Oh shit!" he yelled, bolting upright. "I slept with the groom! I slept with James!"
"The groom? Who? Wha...?" the man next to Remus jumped awake all at once, sitting up stark naked, staring at him. "I'm not the groom."
Sirius, he'd slept with Sirius.
Breathe Remus, breath. It could be worse. He wasn't the groom. He was handsome. He was nice. It could have been a lot worse, if only he weren't so naked. Remus bent down over the edge, grabbed a sheet, and flung it back up on the bed. "If you don't mind, could you please, you know, cover up?"
Sirius's jaw clenched. But he took it. With a grim expression he flopped the linen over his lap. "Better?"
"Yes, thank you." Still unwilling to look directly at him, Remus compulsively rubbed his fingers over the intricate carvings in the dark wood post besides him. "Ah…I think me and Oriel got our wires crossed, she was supposed to be covering you in lipstick and I was meant to be with someone else."
"Huh?"
Losing it, Remus bridged the gap between them, took Sirius by the shoulders and shook him. Hard. "What the hell where we thinking? How did this happen? And how did it happen six times?"
"I just…I haven't got a clue how we ended up together" Sirius said gingerly. But he extended a finger, gently lifting a tendril of Remus's hair as he smiled encouragingly. "But it was good."
Remus hid a smile.
Sirius's head felt like a bongo drum. He knew he had a massive hangover but that wasn't the half of it.
He had just slept with Remus Lupin. And he was in big trouble.
For one thing, he was not at all Sirius type. Sure, they'd hit it off big-time in the sack but Remus was too bright, too interesting, too challenging, too white-picket-fence-and-forever thanks to his condition and far too male for Sirius to contemplate hanging about in the bed any longer.
It was just that Remus was his friend. And he looked so forlorn and lost leaning against the bed post. Completely naked.
"Listen can you down to room service and get some coffee up here?" he asked in a very soft voice.
"No, I cannot call room service." Remus yelled. Well, maybe he didn't yell. Maybe it only seemed like yelling to Sirius's headache. "If I call room service, they will know I'm here, won't they? I don't want anyone to know I'm here, and especially not some nice, wide-eyes kid who's going to roll his cart in here and then run back to room service central and tell everyone he saw two guys in bed with six empty condom packages. Six!"
He was sorry he'd asked. "We could clean up before he got here. Did you say six?" he didn't mean to smile. Lord knew, this was nothing to smile about. "Six, huh?"
"I'm glad the news cheers one of us up."
"I'm sorry," he offered before he knew what he was saying. He was sorry. It's just that apologizing wasn't necessarily the tactic he would've chosen if he'd had his wits about him. "Remus, I don't know what to say. I wish I remembered more about what happened or what we did…"
But he did remember. All of a sudden, the memories come flooding back with startling detail. Good god.
His gaze rocketed over to Remus, skidded off, and landed somewhere on the foot of the bed. Could he really have…? Could Remus really have…? He sure didn't seem like the type. Good god. He actually felt like blushing. He hadn't blushed since he was twelve.
And right now he had to be out of that bed and more than a few inches away from Remus Lupin. He was starting to sweat from flashbacks.
"Ok, listen." He jumped out from under the sheet and deftly whipped the heavy side curtain from the bed around his flanks as he turned. "Probably we need to talk about this, but I think maybe a shower is what I need. Unless…" He gave Remus a short glance. "You first?"
"I'm not going to get naked in your shower," Remus returned hotly, as if his shower was any more intimate than what they'd already done.
The shower. Oh, hell. Sirius leaned his head against the hard wood of the bed post. The shower was where they'd ended up during round six of their no-holds-barred exploration of each other, unless he was very much mistaken. The kaleidoscope of pictures unfolding in his brain told him he was not mistaken.
There they all were, in blinding clarity. One was on the bed with Remus on top; two was half off the bed with him behind; three was on the floor, sort of a continuation of two after they rested for a minute; four was back on the bed but he was on top, and five was on the desk.
And six…up against the wall of the shower with the water on full blast.
He squeezed his eyes closed but the pictures remained. His only hope of sanity was that Remus didn't remember.
"All right," he said darkly, "then why don't you just get dressed while I take a shower?" He'd just have to keep his eyes shut, point the other way and make the water cold. Really cold.
"I'll just get my clothes…" Remus said, picking up the discarded bed sheet and wrapping it about himself, he crawled off the bed and began to hunt around. "You've ripped my trousers, Black, and there are no buttons on my shirt! What am I supposed to wear? Do you have anything spare"
"I didn't bring a change…"
"Great" Remus hissed. "I have no clothes, not a stitch and I'm stuck in a hotel room with Mr. Sleeps-With-Anything-That-Moves"
"That's hardly fair," Sirius put in, although it was difficult to argue while wearing half a bed curtain, while his body still rocked with erotic after shocks. "You don't know who I sleep with."
"Besides me you mean? I know your first choice of bed partners last night with a bubble-headed bimbo with fake boobs."
"You're the one who crawled in with me, not vice versa!"
"That was a mistake." Remus said quietly. "I just need to go. This whole you-and-me-thing-last-night is just too much for me"
"Remus…" but the door was already slamming leaving Sirius alone in a room that smelt of sex and Remus.