~thanks for the reviews ~
As I sat with Patrick watching his parents on that stupid video I wiped away the tears, I couldn't stand watching his parents telling him that they love him when I knew that 2 days ago I thought that's what my parents thought. He didn't love me he never wanted me.
I left Patrick to watch the end of the video; I went to see how Britney was going. I couldn't help but laugh she was covered in finger paint it was in her hair on her face on her clothes. And the kids weren't much better.
"I thought I told you all to put on and old t shirt so the paint wouldn't go on your clothes." I said. "Now go and wash your hands while I help Britney clean up." I picked up the empty paints and threw them in the bin.
"I tried to get them to put on the t shirts but they wouldn't listen then they attacked me with the paints." Britney said grabbing a cloth and wiping down the table. "Attacked you, Britney there 7 and under and they attacked you?" I asked folding the t shirts back up. "Hey, next time they want to finger paint I'll sit with Patrick and you can make them get into t shirts and make them paint on the paper not on the helpers or the tables." Britney said.
"Fine then, you can sit with Patrick and tell him that one day his parents will come back for him and that they do love him very much because I can't lie to him anymore. How am I supposed to give a drop of hope to a little boy who would believe anything I said when I believed myself that yes my dad did love me and one day he would want me back!" I said to Britney starting to cry again.
"Faith," Britney began but I walked away before she could finish. I walked back inside, and the first thing I saw was Patrick watching his stupid tape. It made me so mad he would row up thinking that they loved him.
I walked over to the VCR and stopped the tape and ejected it, I didn't have a clue what I was doing but I threw the tape at the wall it smashed into pieces. "Tape." Patrick said getting off the couch and running over to the bits on the floor. He was crying and for the first time in my life I didn't care he was upset. Britney came inside after me she looked at the tape on the floor to Patrick crying to me crying.
"What happened?" Britney asked bending down to Patrick. "She broke tape." Patrick said pointing to me. "I saved his life, now he won't grow up with false hope." I said turning and walking away.
When I got back to my apartment the guilt washed over me, I had just destroyed the only thing that made Patrick happy; I had turned into a monster. Patrick would hate me forever.
I fell onto my bed and curled up into a ball and ended up crying myself to sleep. I was woken up by someone pounding on my door I rolled out of bed and went to open my door.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Faith, first off did any one tell you look like shit second is that any way to welcome someone who has just almost gotten her ass fired for flying out to see how you are and third I'm here because Mark couldn't come." Torrie said steeping into my apartment.
"Mark couldn't come don't you mean Mark wouldn't come." I said closing the door behind Torrie. "No I don't he wanted to come but Vince wouldn't let him. So he asked me if I would go. He's worried about you. John is as well." Torrie said sitting down at what should have been my kitchen table.
"Nice place." Torrie said looking around. "What were you expecting someone like me to live in a penthouse with 7 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms?" I said.
"No, I meant I liked it I wasn't being sarcastic." Torrie said looking offended. "Torrie I'm sorry it just hasn't been the best day for me today." I said sitting down next to her.
"Well it just got better." Torrie said. "What do you mean?" I asked curious. "I came here to bring you back with me." Torrie said. "No way, I'm not going back." I said standing up from the table. "And why not?" Torrie asked.
"Because I'm not going back to listen to more of Marks lies." I said. "He wants to straighten things out with you. It couldn't have been that bad." Torrie said.
I was shocked she had no idea, he had asked her to come out here without even telling her what made me go away. "Torrie, he told me that he couldn't see me when I was growing up because the information was too hard to find out but he lied he never actually wanted to be able to see me. He was the one that put me into a children's home." I said.
Torrie sat there for awhile not saying anything I took this as a cue to go brush my hair and clean myself up a bit. As I tied my hair up I saw in the mirror Torrie standing in the doorway. "There was someone else who wanted to see you again" she said. "Who?" I asked coming away from the mirror.
"Think about it. Who else did you meet? Who else would want to see you?" Torrie said. "Torrie I don't know!" I said getting fed up.
"Ok you are obviously more blonde than me and you're a brunette. It's John stupid." Torrie said.
"John wanted me to come back." I repeated. "Yes, John. He told me he wanted to go after you but he didn't want Mark going after you as well so he just let you go. But he told me to tell you that you still owe him a date." Torrie said pulling out my bag that I'd shoved in the hallway.
"Good you haven't unpacked." Torrie said looking in the bag. "What are you doing?" I asked going over to her. "Well our flight leaves in 2 hours. We have to get to the airport on time." Torrie said. "Torrie I'm not going with you and that's final." I said grabbing my bag away from her.
"Faith, I am not going to force you to come but you waited this long for answers and now you don't want them." Torrie said. "I got all the answers I need." I said "But did you get them all from Mark?" Torrie asked.
I didn't answer her, if I went back with her I'd end up upset and angry all over again. But then maybe I'm missing something maybe there's a reason for him sending me to a children's home? I'll never know unless I go and find out. But what his reason isn't good enough.
All of these thoughts raced through my mind it was like a tug-of-war and both sides were equal. I looked at Torrie and picked up my bag off the floor. "Do we have time for a quick stop off." I asked walking towards the front door.
"If it means your coming we can have a 5 course meal before we take off." Torrie said hugging me before running down the stairs and out to the car. "I'm coming, but it isn't just for Mark." I said getting in the car. "I knew you liked John." Torrie said slapping me on the arm.
"Torrie I meant I was doing it for myself as well. But I'm not saying John isn't very cute."
As I sat with Patrick watching his parents on that stupid video I wiped away the tears, I couldn't stand watching his parents telling him that they love him when I knew that 2 days ago I thought that's what my parents thought. He didn't love me he never wanted me.
I left Patrick to watch the end of the video; I went to see how Britney was going. I couldn't help but laugh she was covered in finger paint it was in her hair on her face on her clothes. And the kids weren't much better.
"I thought I told you all to put on and old t shirt so the paint wouldn't go on your clothes." I said. "Now go and wash your hands while I help Britney clean up." I picked up the empty paints and threw them in the bin.
"I tried to get them to put on the t shirts but they wouldn't listen then they attacked me with the paints." Britney said grabbing a cloth and wiping down the table. "Attacked you, Britney there 7 and under and they attacked you?" I asked folding the t shirts back up. "Hey, next time they want to finger paint I'll sit with Patrick and you can make them get into t shirts and make them paint on the paper not on the helpers or the tables." Britney said.
"Fine then, you can sit with Patrick and tell him that one day his parents will come back for him and that they do love him very much because I can't lie to him anymore. How am I supposed to give a drop of hope to a little boy who would believe anything I said when I believed myself that yes my dad did love me and one day he would want me back!" I said to Britney starting to cry again.
"Faith," Britney began but I walked away before she could finish. I walked back inside, and the first thing I saw was Patrick watching his stupid tape. It made me so mad he would row up thinking that they loved him.
I walked over to the VCR and stopped the tape and ejected it, I didn't have a clue what I was doing but I threw the tape at the wall it smashed into pieces. "Tape." Patrick said getting off the couch and running over to the bits on the floor. He was crying and for the first time in my life I didn't care he was upset. Britney came inside after me she looked at the tape on the floor to Patrick crying to me crying.
"What happened?" Britney asked bending down to Patrick. "She broke tape." Patrick said pointing to me. "I saved his life, now he won't grow up with false hope." I said turning and walking away.
When I got back to my apartment the guilt washed over me, I had just destroyed the only thing that made Patrick happy; I had turned into a monster. Patrick would hate me forever.
I fell onto my bed and curled up into a ball and ended up crying myself to sleep. I was woken up by someone pounding on my door I rolled out of bed and went to open my door.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Faith, first off did any one tell you look like shit second is that any way to welcome someone who has just almost gotten her ass fired for flying out to see how you are and third I'm here because Mark couldn't come." Torrie said steeping into my apartment.
"Mark couldn't come don't you mean Mark wouldn't come." I said closing the door behind Torrie. "No I don't he wanted to come but Vince wouldn't let him. So he asked me if I would go. He's worried about you. John is as well." Torrie said sitting down at what should have been my kitchen table.
"Nice place." Torrie said looking around. "What were you expecting someone like me to live in a penthouse with 7 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms?" I said.
"No, I meant I liked it I wasn't being sarcastic." Torrie said looking offended. "Torrie I'm sorry it just hasn't been the best day for me today." I said sitting down next to her.
"Well it just got better." Torrie said. "What do you mean?" I asked curious. "I came here to bring you back with me." Torrie said. "No way, I'm not going back." I said standing up from the table. "And why not?" Torrie asked.
"Because I'm not going back to listen to more of Marks lies." I said. "He wants to straighten things out with you. It couldn't have been that bad." Torrie said.
I was shocked she had no idea, he had asked her to come out here without even telling her what made me go away. "Torrie, he told me that he couldn't see me when I was growing up because the information was too hard to find out but he lied he never actually wanted to be able to see me. He was the one that put me into a children's home." I said.
Torrie sat there for awhile not saying anything I took this as a cue to go brush my hair and clean myself up a bit. As I tied my hair up I saw in the mirror Torrie standing in the doorway. "There was someone else who wanted to see you again" she said. "Who?" I asked coming away from the mirror.
"Think about it. Who else did you meet? Who else would want to see you?" Torrie said. "Torrie I don't know!" I said getting fed up.
"Ok you are obviously more blonde than me and you're a brunette. It's John stupid." Torrie said.
"John wanted me to come back." I repeated. "Yes, John. He told me he wanted to go after you but he didn't want Mark going after you as well so he just let you go. But he told me to tell you that you still owe him a date." Torrie said pulling out my bag that I'd shoved in the hallway.
"Good you haven't unpacked." Torrie said looking in the bag. "What are you doing?" I asked going over to her. "Well our flight leaves in 2 hours. We have to get to the airport on time." Torrie said. "Torrie I'm not going with you and that's final." I said grabbing my bag away from her.
"Faith, I am not going to force you to come but you waited this long for answers and now you don't want them." Torrie said. "I got all the answers I need." I said "But did you get them all from Mark?" Torrie asked.
I didn't answer her, if I went back with her I'd end up upset and angry all over again. But then maybe I'm missing something maybe there's a reason for him sending me to a children's home? I'll never know unless I go and find out. But what his reason isn't good enough.
All of these thoughts raced through my mind it was like a tug-of-war and both sides were equal. I looked at Torrie and picked up my bag off the floor. "Do we have time for a quick stop off." I asked walking towards the front door.
"If it means your coming we can have a 5 course meal before we take off." Torrie said hugging me before running down the stairs and out to the car. "I'm coming, but it isn't just for Mark." I said getting in the car. "I knew you liked John." Torrie said slapping me on the arm.
"Torrie I meant I was doing it for myself as well. But I'm not saying John isn't very cute."