A/N Read first I'll explain after.
Live for My Dying
Chapter Five
Dreams and Shreds in Darkness
She was running, running as fast as she could, she was tired and her lungs were burning but she couldn't stop running. If she stopped - It would be bad, very, very bad. But she didn't know where she was running, or what she was running from. It was so dark, too dark. She wished so badly that it wasn't dark.
As if in response to her pleas a light appeared ahead of her. Almost sobbing with relief she ran towards it. Dimly now she realised what the purpose of her running had been, she wasn't running away from anything, she running to her father, because he needed her. Hoping she wasn't too late she ran out onto the deck of a ship and almost screamed.
The deck was covered with bodies, all lying in small huddles and what was worse the sense that she was being chased had returned. She ran sobbing from huddle to huddle trying to find her father. With her tear-blurred eyes she almost missed him; he was lying on his back near the rail of the ship. Dropping down next to him she screamed silently,
"He's not dead! He can't be dead!"
She screamed it so vehemently that she believed it, of course he wasn't dead, he couldn't be dead. However a detached part of her told her that she was being hysterical, but she pushed it angrily aside. A roaring once again filled her ears, she shook her head trying to clear it, but it only grew louder. She looked up to see a giant wave towering over her. She had just a second to take a breath and hold onto her father before it crashed down on them.
Then all sense disappeared. She was tumbled over and over, in the roiling blackness; her ears were filled to bursting with the roaring of the wave and the thudding of her own heart. The only thing she was has steadily aware of was her grip on her father and the small amount of air she held in her lungs.
The fierce current of the wave was tugging at the dead weight of her father in her arms. She tried to hold on her fingers tightened, but the wave was pulling her deeper and deeper.
"Let go." A voice resounded clear in her mind, she was unable to tell if it was her voice or her fathers.
"Let go. You have to let go." And so with tears streaming from her eyes she let her grip loosen and she felt the burden slip away. Nothing had ever hurt quite so much as this.
The turbulence in the water settled, but she was so disorientated she did not now which way was up. She was floating in a black emptiness, without any sense of direction, without air. She was alone. But by letting go, she had reached acceptance. 'This is it,' she thought and opened her mouth to breathe, waiting for the water to fill her lungs.
Instead she raggedly inhaled a breath of air that tasted of sweat and fear. She gasped in another shocked breath and came slowly to awareness, and with awareness came fear. She made to open her eyes but they were already open. The darkness lay over her like a thick blanket, smothering her. She listened to the sound of her ragged breathing, trying to fend of the panic. She sat up stiffly and felt something slide off her shoulders. It was a sheet. Grasping at it, she bunched it up in her hands,
'See,' she said to herself, 'It's real, I was dreaming, but I'm awake now, this is real.'
But why was it so dark? It was closing in around her again and she felt the panic trying o override her mind. Making a small tear in the fabric, she winced at the sound. Elspeth hated the sound of tearing material, but it brought her back to reality. It was dark, but she was awake. That was all she needed to know for now.
'Maybe I'm dead,'
She made another longer tear. No this is real, I'm alive! Listening carefully to the sound of the tearing fabric, she regulated her breathing, concentrating on that. Drowning out the darkness.
Breathe in one, two, three, tear; breathe out, one, two, and three.
And so she sat tearing the sheet to shreds until there came a time when imperceptibly the darkness lifted. Soon she could make out the shadow of her hands tearing at the shredded remains of the sheet.
By the time the morning sun was strong enough to illuminate the room; Elspeth tore the last piece of the blanket into tiny strips and let them fall to the pile of shreds in front of her. As the light grew stronger, so did Elspeth's reason and will to survive. The dream lay in shreds with the sheet but the memories were clear in her mind. She stood from the bed and took the half step across the tiny room to the porthole. She sighed deeply at the rising sun and took strength in it.
Her grief was not gone, but it was time to live again.
A/N Hey all I'd just like to apologise for this being so dark and kinda long winded. I wanted to stay as true to my character as I could and what happened in the first to chapters isn't easy to get over. I needed something pretty spectacular to make it possible for me to move on with the story. Thanks for bearing with me, I love you all, and I promise the story will pick up in the next few chapters. So once again I am sorry, but this was necessary.
Live for My Dying
Chapter Five
Dreams and Shreds in Darkness
She was running, running as fast as she could, she was tired and her lungs were burning but she couldn't stop running. If she stopped - It would be bad, very, very bad. But she didn't know where she was running, or what she was running from. It was so dark, too dark. She wished so badly that it wasn't dark.
As if in response to her pleas a light appeared ahead of her. Almost sobbing with relief she ran towards it. Dimly now she realised what the purpose of her running had been, she wasn't running away from anything, she running to her father, because he needed her. Hoping she wasn't too late she ran out onto the deck of a ship and almost screamed.
The deck was covered with bodies, all lying in small huddles and what was worse the sense that she was being chased had returned. She ran sobbing from huddle to huddle trying to find her father. With her tear-blurred eyes she almost missed him; he was lying on his back near the rail of the ship. Dropping down next to him she screamed silently,
"He's not dead! He can't be dead!"
She screamed it so vehemently that she believed it, of course he wasn't dead, he couldn't be dead. However a detached part of her told her that she was being hysterical, but she pushed it angrily aside. A roaring once again filled her ears, she shook her head trying to clear it, but it only grew louder. She looked up to see a giant wave towering over her. She had just a second to take a breath and hold onto her father before it crashed down on them.
Then all sense disappeared. She was tumbled over and over, in the roiling blackness; her ears were filled to bursting with the roaring of the wave and the thudding of her own heart. The only thing she was has steadily aware of was her grip on her father and the small amount of air she held in her lungs.
The fierce current of the wave was tugging at the dead weight of her father in her arms. She tried to hold on her fingers tightened, but the wave was pulling her deeper and deeper.
"Let go." A voice resounded clear in her mind, she was unable to tell if it was her voice or her fathers.
"Let go. You have to let go." And so with tears streaming from her eyes she let her grip loosen and she felt the burden slip away. Nothing had ever hurt quite so much as this.
The turbulence in the water settled, but she was so disorientated she did not now which way was up. She was floating in a black emptiness, without any sense of direction, without air. She was alone. But by letting go, she had reached acceptance. 'This is it,' she thought and opened her mouth to breathe, waiting for the water to fill her lungs.
Instead she raggedly inhaled a breath of air that tasted of sweat and fear. She gasped in another shocked breath and came slowly to awareness, and with awareness came fear. She made to open her eyes but they were already open. The darkness lay over her like a thick blanket, smothering her. She listened to the sound of her ragged breathing, trying to fend of the panic. She sat up stiffly and felt something slide off her shoulders. It was a sheet. Grasping at it, she bunched it up in her hands,
'See,' she said to herself, 'It's real, I was dreaming, but I'm awake now, this is real.'
But why was it so dark? It was closing in around her again and she felt the panic trying o override her mind. Making a small tear in the fabric, she winced at the sound. Elspeth hated the sound of tearing material, but it brought her back to reality. It was dark, but she was awake. That was all she needed to know for now.
'Maybe I'm dead,'
She made another longer tear. No this is real, I'm alive! Listening carefully to the sound of the tearing fabric, she regulated her breathing, concentrating on that. Drowning out the darkness.
Breathe in one, two, three, tear; breathe out, one, two, and three.
And so she sat tearing the sheet to shreds until there came a time when imperceptibly the darkness lifted. Soon she could make out the shadow of her hands tearing at the shredded remains of the sheet.
By the time the morning sun was strong enough to illuminate the room; Elspeth tore the last piece of the blanket into tiny strips and let them fall to the pile of shreds in front of her. As the light grew stronger, so did Elspeth's reason and will to survive. The dream lay in shreds with the sheet but the memories were clear in her mind. She stood from the bed and took the half step across the tiny room to the porthole. She sighed deeply at the rising sun and took strength in it.
Her grief was not gone, but it was time to live again.
A/N Hey all I'd just like to apologise for this being so dark and kinda long winded. I wanted to stay as true to my character as I could and what happened in the first to chapters isn't easy to get over. I needed something pretty spectacular to make it possible for me to move on with the story. Thanks for bearing with me, I love you all, and I promise the story will pick up in the next few chapters. So once again I am sorry, but this was necessary.