HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! I am BACK, bigger than life, and twice as COOL! I have set my personal problems behind me, to bring you the next exciting installment of my story! And I have another important announcement. Only, this one is less gloom-and-doomy. Brace yourselves...
I have decided to write a LEMON!
"Gasp!" I can hear you all go. "How will he do it?! The story is only rated PG-13..." Well, dear readers, this is where modern ingenuity comes into play. No, I'm not raising the rating to R. If you haven't already noticed, the default sorting for stories by rating is G to PG-13. R-rated stories aren't even shown. And studies have shown that many, many people are too lazy or don't know how to switch it over. So that would be cutting out 90% of my potential fanbase right off the bat. No sir.
I shall not even consider going to that den of sin known as aff.net. I've never gone there and I hope never to. It sickens me.
Instead, I shall create a new story. A one-chapter story. Its rating shall be R, and it will supplant one of the chapters of my regularly scheduled story. It will be called, "The Other Swordsman – Chapter Whatever". Not actually Whatever, but whatever the chapter happens to be. It will contain my vaunted lemon.
This is the ideal method, I think. It is not integral to the plot, so people who are offended or don't want to read such a thing can just skip right over it. I won't have to change my story or break its rating restrictions. It's the perfect plan. So, I'll announce when I'm doing it. It will be in just a few chapters...to warn you...
Actually, I've never written one of these before (contrary to my humorous example many chapters ago) so I'll need some feedback. No, I'm not asking for ideas. That's gross. I'm ASKING if you actually want me to go THROUGH with this or not. If not, that's fine; if so, that's fine too. I await your decisions.
I've kept you waiting long enough...STORY!
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Chapter 37: A Fabulous Game
The General was sitting in a wooden chair in a large room. There was little lighting, throwing most of the room into shadow. A table was set in front of him, with a half-finished chess game on a sculpted marble board. The ornately carved pieces were standing in intricate positions. The General's hand hovered over a black bishop.
"Make a move," came a voice from the other side of the table. Someone was sitting there, but the darkness obscured his features. "I've been waiting for ten minutes."
The General raised his hand and his head. "Patience," he said calmly. "A good game of chess can take hours." He selected a black knight and moved it. "I still cannot get over how much different you sound than before."
"I'm using my indoor voice," said the voice. A hand reached out, the wrist and arm covered in a black material. It moved a white rook and withdrew into the shadow. The sides of the General's mouth twitched. He glanced at the chessboard.
"The Evan's Gambit," he remarked. "A style of play I have not seen in decades. I always knew you were a cultured man." The General moved his bishop.
"Being well read and well learned have always been two of my highest aims." The other man castled and waited for the General's turn. (A/N: Castling is where your rook and your king change places, you can only do it if neither of them have moved before, if you don't know.)
"As have they been two of mine." The General moved a pawn and sat back in his chair. "The foremost, of course, is vengeance."
"Vengeance?" Curiosity with a touch of amusement tinged the other man's voice. "You killed his entire family, slaughtered the whole kingdom, took the country and all around it to pieces and you are seeking vengeance? Whatever for?" A white knight took the pawn the General had just moved.
The General took his time to answer. He moved another pawn to threaten the knight. "For staying alive, and taunting me all these years with his insufferable presence. When I do a job, I wish to be thorough; and the boy had constantly eluded me. I have as much right to vengeance as he."
"Perhaps." The hand moved the white queen. "Or maybe you should simply let go of the whole thing. Fighting him, however enjoyable it may be to you, is dangerous."
"Dangerous?" The General raised an eyebrow.
"Dangerous. He has power and you know it. Think of your first battle against him. He would have killed you."
"Would have," repeated the General coldly. He grabbed his knight and knocked the white queen off the board, so sharply it hit the wall and shattered to pieces.
"Temper, temper, General," said the other man soothingly. "That's the most emotion I've seen out of you in months. Did I strike a nerve?"
"It is a bit of a touchy subject." The General resumed his earlier calm. "But the past is irrelevant to the future. I have made quite sure that the earlier scenario will not be recreated. I will kill him."
"Indeed." The General stared into the shadowed face of the man as he moved a white rook to take the knight.
"You should hardly be one to talk about fighting Tobias," said the General. He began to speak again, but before he could get a word out the other man jumped up and growled.
"Don't you dare say things like that to me," he snarled.
"You are not in a position to tell me what I can and cannot say." The General remained seated. He moved his remaining bishop.
"You have no idea-"
"I have every idea," the General cut in sharply. The other man seemed to relax. He sat back down and moved a pawn.
"Perhaps we should simply avoid the subject," the General said. "It is not conducive to good chess playing."
"There is one more thing." The General moved a rook. "One more thing I would like to share, before I must be off again."
"Then say it. It is almost impossible to find a chess partner in this day and age, and our face-to-face encounters are rare. I wish to finish the game before you leave."
The other man did not speak. He slowly moved his hand over a knight, then a rook, then his king. The General watched impassively.
"You should watch Tobias," he finally said quietly. "He could come from where you least expect it..." He moved a bishop and took the General's rook. "And strike you down without warning." He stood up. The General stood up too, looking at the board.
"Checkmate," mused the General. "Are you trying to make a point?"
"The point is made. I must go...I have things to do. Goodbye for now, General." The other man slipped away into the darkness. The General remained standing, looking at the chessboard.
Weeks had passed. They were constantly traveling, even by night. As Tobias had planned, during the long night hours; Kirara carried the humans, Inuyasha carried Kagome, and Tobias ran by himself. He seemed to go with a grim determination that belied his earlier weakness. Kirara slept on Sango's shoulder during the day. Inuyasha, who after all needed SOME sleep, occasionally slept on Kirara. During those times, Tobias carried Kagome.
They had gone so far that not even Inuyasha had any concept of where they were. It didn't matter, really, seeing as the well was unusable at the time. It had been, since about two weeks before the present.
The General stepped lightly into the clearing where Inuyasha stood. Inuyasha recoiled, and his hand darted toward Tetsusaiga; but before he could pull it out the General was upon him. An iron-hard fist smashed into his chest. Inuyasha gasped, the General took this opportunity to delve into his hakama and pull out the jewel shard.
"You don't know how much trouble it's been for me to find this," said the General. "But no trouble at all taking it. So long." He left, leaving Inuyasha to growl in his wake.
Kagome had taken the news hard. As long as they had possessed that one jewel shard, evading the General seemed a possibility. But with the news that even that small hope snatched from them, she fell into a deep depression. She was convinced that she would never see her family again.
Inuyasha and Kagome had not done much in the line of their relationship over the last weeks. She was far too upset for such a thing, and he wasn't feeling that great either. Inuyasha knew that she still loved him, and he her, but their relationship was suffering. He voiced his thoughts, once, to Tobias. Tobias only slowly nodded.
"That's what the General does best," he said tonelessly. "He makes people suffer. He glories in causing pain, which is why he does what he does."
Let us return to the current time. The group had encountered a rather large bear demon. They were battling it with varying degrees of success. Tobias had slashed off one of its arms, but it had knocked him into the underbrush, stunning him. Inuyasha went in for the offensive, but before he struck an all too familiar voice rang out.
"Fox Fire!" A jet of flame spewed out from the trees and engulfed the demon. It gave one last roar and collapsed, unconscious. Inuyasha made quick work of it with Tetsusaiga, then they all turned to the woods where the attack came from.
Shippo stepped cautiously out of the underbrush, seeing who the people were. He had a blank look for a second, then comprehension dawned. In the blink of an eye, he was attached to Kagome's leg.
"Kagomeeeeeeee!!!!" he wailed. "It's been so long I think two years and I stayed with the fox demons but there was trouble a man attacking and killing demons the fox demons sent me away and told me to hide I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!! WAAAAAH!!!" He cried into Kagome's skirt. Kagome lifted him off her leg and hugged him tightly.
"It's all right, Shippo," she said soothingly. "You're safe now. You're back with us." Shippo sobbed unrestrainedly as Kagome tried to calm him down.
"I take it this is Shippo," said Tobias lightly. He had extricated himself from the bushes in time to notice the rather impressive attack. "He's kind of cute. In a little stuffed-animal type of way. How did he pull off that attack? That's more than I would expect from a little kid..." Shippo had calmed down a little bit, but was still clinging to Kagome like she was his lifeline.
"That wasn't very smart, you damn kit," said Inuyasha, walking over. "What were you thinking? You don't go attacking a demon that big when you're that small!" Kagome scowled at Inuyasha, but inwardly she smiled. That's Inuyasha all right...can't let one trace of affection slip from him. Except for me... Inuyasha, however, reluctantly looked at him and said, "We missed you."
"Well, I sure missed you!" wailed Shippo. "I missed all of you! Even Inuyasha!" Inuyasha grumbled. "Who's that?" Shippo said, pointing at Tobias.
"I'm Tobias. I'm traveling with them for now. And I know who the man that was attacking is. His name is the General, and you should avoid him at all costs."
Shippo sniffled. "When the fox demons sent me away, they told me to hide this somewhere, that they would draw him away while I got rid of this." He opened his hand to reveal a gleaming Shikon shard.
Everyone's jaw hit the floor. The last – the very last – shard, and in the hands of Shippo, of all people? This boggled the mind. Tobias sat down heavily. Inuyasha stood frozen, stunned. Kagome was so caught off guard by this that she dropped Shippo. He hit the ground with a cry and scrabbled to get back into her embrace again.
Tobias was the first to move again. He leaped to Shippo and snatched the shard from his hand. He then deposited it in an inner pocket of his clothes, underneath his breastplate. "The General won't find it here," he said quietly. "The only way to get this shard now is off my corpse."
"Shippo..." began Kagome in a placating tone. "We know you're in trouble...and that shard might just be what will get you – and us – out of it. But it's not safe to stay with us. We kind of attract trouble."
"Would it be any safer for him to go off alone?" said Tobias gloomily. Kagome grimaced as she imagined what would happen if Shippo encountered the General. "You're right," she said finally. "He should stay with us."
Shippo, who had been threatening to burst into tears again, suddenly became joyful at the prospect of staying with them again. "Yaaaay! I get to stay with you guys some more!" Tobias chuckled at his youthful enthusiasm.
"At least one of us isn't depressed," he said. "Come on, kit, we can't stop moving for anything. We're being chased, too."
"And you have been caught," came a voice. The General stood on top of a tree near them. Tobias leaped up and unsheathed his sword. Tetsusaiga flashed as it transformed in Inuyasha's hands. But the General held up a hand.
"I am not fighting you. At least, not at the moment. I've simply come to ask something, and to tell you something." Tobias snarled, but he stayed put.
"I need to ask you, where is the last jewel shard?" Nobody spoke. "It's a useless gesture, hiding it from me. I will find it eventually, and by withholding the information you're just dooming more innocent people. I shall go to village after village, seeing if they have it, and if they do not I will destroy them. I am rather good at destruction."
"Don't!" shouted Kagome. The General's eyes flicked to her. "We both know that none of the villages around here has a shard. Don't just kill them, you know they don't have it!"
"Perhaps you are correct. However, it will not change the facts. These people need to be taught a lesson, that I am the strongest one here." He seemed to notice Shippo for the first time.
"I know you..." he said. Shippo whimpered. "You are that brat of a kitsune that those other fox demons were protecting. They are quite decent people...it really was a shame to slaughter them. But, business is business." Shippo started to cry again, and Kagome hugged him, as Inuyasha held her.
"But we are sidetracked. I need to tell you this." He lowered his voice. "I have been rather bored recently, so I have taken it upon myself to arrange a game."
"We're not playing any games with you, General," snarled Tobias.
"Oh, but I think you will," said the General lightly. "It is a race. A race to see which of us can get to the Bone Eater's Well first." Kagome's eyes widened. "You have been constantly moving..." He looked into the distance. "I would say the well is a good three hundred miles from here. But that shall make the journey all the more exciting, won't it."
"The rules are, if one of you should touch the well before me, then I shall leave without harming it. But, if I touch the well first...all bets are off. First, I shall pay a nice visit to your family..." Kagome gasped, and Inuyasha held her closer. "Then I shall turn it to matchwood." He looked into the distance, and spoke only one word.
"Go."
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So, Shippo arrives, and the General angers us all with his sick, twisted games. Things change... Out of curiosity, how many of you think the General will hold to his word if Inuyasha and friends beat him there? I know what he'll do, but I'm not telling you...
Yes or no votes for the lemon will be tabulated, via the highly technical process of me counting them. I will decide later.
Also, there's a really funny website I've been to recently. It's called www.actsofgord.com and it details the lineage of a man referred to as 'The Gord' and his foibles with various customers at his gaming story, Gamer's Edge. It's extremely funny, and I suggest you go to it. Our rich readers might even drop him a few bucks via .
So, read and REVIEW, you know the drill. REVIEW!