Author Note: I'm sad to say that I don't own Severus Snape.

An Unfortunant Event
By Kelly McCallum

Silvia sat on the loo doing her business. She noted how she must tell her uncle to try new colors, the whole "I'm dark and mysterious" thing was getting old. As she finished she nearly fell off the john trying to reach the toilet paper, she'd have to ask him to move that as well. As she pulled up her panties and got off of the john she noticed something as unusual as she was about to flush. Inside, the water had been tinted red.

"What..." she asked her self silently, and the pulled back down her panties to reveal they were stained.

"Ahh! Uncle! Uncle! I'm bleeding to death! Someone has hexed me! Uncle! Uncle!" Silvia yelled hysterically running out of the loo like she had had her head cut off. Severus Snape who was catching up on some marking in a small desk in his room nearly fell out of his chair getting up. He ran to her and held her by her shoulders,

"What! What's going on?!" He ordered her using one hand to reach for his wand to ward off anything,

"Uncle! I looked in the toilet and I was bleeding! I'm dieing help me." Silvia was almost in tears. Severus shuddered to himself putting his wand back into his pocket. He could not believe he was being subjected to this.

"You're not dieing, you're just..." he couldn't say it. A man of his stature could not ...explain such things.

"I'm what uncle?" she almost screamed, fearing she would soon be dead.

"Come with me. Right now." he said grabbing her by her wrist and leading her into the bathroom.

"Sit." He said signaling the toilet,

"But Uncle! My underpants are all bloody I don't wanna sit on them!"

Severus shuddered very hard. "Good..God..." he said in disgust,

"Here, look!" She cried reaching to pull down her underwear. Severus' eye's widened further then they ever did before, and he quickly stopped her, "PLEASE DON'T! JUST STAND!" he yelled.

Severus sighed, dreading the spell he was about to use, he wasn't even sure why who knew such an incantation, he closed his eyes pulled out his wand and pointed it on the counter,

"EL TAMPARO!" he bellowed and a box of tampons magically appeared. "There." He stated, "Do your thing." and with that he was off, slamming the door behind him.

However, as soon as he slammed the door, it opened again. "Uncle! What the heck is that!". Severus swung around and responded, "Tampons your Dunderhead" a little too casually and he shuddered once again.

"What are they for!" she said, oblivious to what was going on.

"This is just sick. I'm going to Hagrid." He said and with that he was off. But as he opened his door he tripped on his long, flowing cape.

"Do you need a tampon?" Silvia asked for inside the room. Severus shuddered like Side Show Bob and was off.