Bara no Scarlet
Chapter 15
Memories
Anshii watched quietly as the ghost of her friend unpacked her suitcase. There was a movement of Ayomi's hands which prompted Anshii to catch them, looking at the girl's left hand. One finger had a slight indentation, as if a ring had been worn on it for years, a ring which was not there any longer.
"Miss Anshii. is there a problem?" Ayomi asked quietly, tilting her head to the other woman.
Anshii shook her head, allowing Ayomi to take her hand back. "No. I was just curious. what happened to your ring, Ayomi?"
Ayomi looked at her hand, as if seeing it for the first time. "I don't know. I must have lost it. I did used to wear one there, didn't I?" Vague confusion crossed her face, and she looked back to Anshii. "I'm sorry. I don't remember."
Anshii tilted her head. "What do you remember?"
The room was swaying, something. something was falling. Something important was falling, fading. Random sounds, a rushing, a crashing, someone screaming, pain.
The scent of roses.
She could remember the day, her first day at a new and very elite school. She had an apartment just a few miles from the campus, and she had started out early, walking along the road, enjoying the morning. There had been a car. she remembered seeing it swerve around the curve in the road, seeing the driver try to regain control.
It had hit her, hadn't it? The car? Isn't that what they said had happened?
She'd woken up in the infirmary at the school, Councilman Ohtori frantic in the other room. They'd said that he'd been reviewing her school records when the word of the crash had come, and that he had literally run across the campus to see how she was.
When they'd finally let him in, he introduced himself as Akio, and promised that he'd do everything he could to make her convalescence comfortable. She was lucky that she hadn't broken anything. Just a gash in her side, scrapes across her face, and the knuckles of her left hand scraped raw.
Her injuries confused her. If the car had hit her. why wasn't she broken? Where was the driver?
They called her lucky. The driver had been sent to a different hospital because she was more injured.
The more she tried to remember, the more it gave her a headache. So she spent a good deal of her time forgetting.
Councilman Ohtori insisted on giving her clemency, excusing her from the first month of classes. He gave her the role of the Rose Bride, allowing her to convalesce in the rose garden on the campus grounds, surrounded by the scent that she remembered from something just out of reach. Just so out of reach.
She shook her head as she finished recounting, aware that at the very least, an hour had passed. "I really don't remember much, and every time I try, the headaches come. The head nurse told me that it was common with head injuries, and that I shouldn't push things."
Anshii nodded, green eyes filled with a multitude of emotions. It was all too convenient, too easy. Akio had to have been behind it, all of it. She forced herself to smile, as in the old days, forced the pleasant look on her face. "Maybe it's a good thing that you don't remember right now. Maybe there's something that you need to face on your own."
Ayomi quirked an eyebrow at Anshii, but said nothing. Instead, she closed the drawer that she had been unpacking into, and turned to look at the beds. "Which is yours?"
Anshii pointed, and Ayomi went to the other one, setting her nightgown on the bed before sitting on the edge and beginning to unbutton her blouse. Anshii turned to pull her nightgown out of the drawer, glancing into the mirror and seeing the thin scar on Ayomi's side. That scar. her stomach flipped, and she struggled with herself for a moment.
"You remind me of the Dios I once loved."
Utena in that white gown, crumpled on the floor.
"But you can't become my Prince."
The blood seeping into the gash in the white satin where the sword had sliced.
"Because you're a girl."
There was a moment, and then Anshii turned, fleeing the bedroom, hands clamped over her mouth as she ran for the bathroom.
She made it only just in time, her stomach rejecting dinner, flushing the toilet over and over, wishing every time that it would somehow take the pain, take the shame. She hung there, her breath heaving, drained.
A washcloth, cool and damp, was pressed against her forehead. A few moments passed, and she felt herself start to calm, felt the washcloth's coolness. "I'm sorry that it took so long. I couldn't find the washcloths."
"It's. it's okay. I'll be fine." Anshii mumbled. She hadn't considered that she'd have such a reaction.
"We should get you lying down, Miss Anshii. Hanging over the toilet only makes you feel worse," Ayomi said gently.
Anshii turned, stood slowly, and looked to Ayomi. The girl stood barefoot in her nightgown, long hair swaying about her waist, blue eyes worried. She offered a small smile to the other, and then stumbled back to the bedroom, collapsing into her bed and falling immediately into a drained sleep.
Anshii watched quietly as the ghost of her friend unpacked her suitcase. There was a movement of Ayomi's hands which prompted Anshii to catch them, looking at the girl's left hand. One finger had a slight indentation, as if a ring had been worn on it for years, a ring which was not there any longer.
"Miss Anshii. is there a problem?" Ayomi asked quietly, tilting her head to the other woman.
Anshii shook her head, allowing Ayomi to take her hand back. "No. I was just curious. what happened to your ring, Ayomi?"
Ayomi looked at her hand, as if seeing it for the first time. "I don't know. I must have lost it. I did used to wear one there, didn't I?" Vague confusion crossed her face, and she looked back to Anshii. "I'm sorry. I don't remember."
Anshii tilted her head. "What do you remember?"
The room was swaying, something. something was falling. Something important was falling, fading. Random sounds, a rushing, a crashing, someone screaming, pain.
The scent of roses.
She could remember the day, her first day at a new and very elite school. She had an apartment just a few miles from the campus, and she had started out early, walking along the road, enjoying the morning. There had been a car. she remembered seeing it swerve around the curve in the road, seeing the driver try to regain control.
It had hit her, hadn't it? The car? Isn't that what they said had happened?
She'd woken up in the infirmary at the school, Councilman Ohtori frantic in the other room. They'd said that he'd been reviewing her school records when the word of the crash had come, and that he had literally run across the campus to see how she was.
When they'd finally let him in, he introduced himself as Akio, and promised that he'd do everything he could to make her convalescence comfortable. She was lucky that she hadn't broken anything. Just a gash in her side, scrapes across her face, and the knuckles of her left hand scraped raw.
Her injuries confused her. If the car had hit her. why wasn't she broken? Where was the driver?
They called her lucky. The driver had been sent to a different hospital because she was more injured.
The more she tried to remember, the more it gave her a headache. So she spent a good deal of her time forgetting.
Councilman Ohtori insisted on giving her clemency, excusing her from the first month of classes. He gave her the role of the Rose Bride, allowing her to convalesce in the rose garden on the campus grounds, surrounded by the scent that she remembered from something just out of reach. Just so out of reach.
She shook her head as she finished recounting, aware that at the very least, an hour had passed. "I really don't remember much, and every time I try, the headaches come. The head nurse told me that it was common with head injuries, and that I shouldn't push things."
Anshii nodded, green eyes filled with a multitude of emotions. It was all too convenient, too easy. Akio had to have been behind it, all of it. She forced herself to smile, as in the old days, forced the pleasant look on her face. "Maybe it's a good thing that you don't remember right now. Maybe there's something that you need to face on your own."
Ayomi quirked an eyebrow at Anshii, but said nothing. Instead, she closed the drawer that she had been unpacking into, and turned to look at the beds. "Which is yours?"
Anshii pointed, and Ayomi went to the other one, setting her nightgown on the bed before sitting on the edge and beginning to unbutton her blouse. Anshii turned to pull her nightgown out of the drawer, glancing into the mirror and seeing the thin scar on Ayomi's side. That scar. her stomach flipped, and she struggled with herself for a moment.
"You remind me of the Dios I once loved."
Utena in that white gown, crumpled on the floor.
"But you can't become my Prince."
The blood seeping into the gash in the white satin where the sword had sliced.
"Because you're a girl."
There was a moment, and then Anshii turned, fleeing the bedroom, hands clamped over her mouth as she ran for the bathroom.
She made it only just in time, her stomach rejecting dinner, flushing the toilet over and over, wishing every time that it would somehow take the pain, take the shame. She hung there, her breath heaving, drained.
A washcloth, cool and damp, was pressed against her forehead. A few moments passed, and she felt herself start to calm, felt the washcloth's coolness. "I'm sorry that it took so long. I couldn't find the washcloths."
"It's. it's okay. I'll be fine." Anshii mumbled. She hadn't considered that she'd have such a reaction.
"We should get you lying down, Miss Anshii. Hanging over the toilet only makes you feel worse," Ayomi said gently.
Anshii turned, stood slowly, and looked to Ayomi. The girl stood barefoot in her nightgown, long hair swaying about her waist, blue eyes worried. She offered a small smile to the other, and then stumbled back to the bedroom, collapsing into her bed and falling immediately into a drained sleep.