Disclaimer: If I owned the Gunmen the show would still be on the air, at least 20 times a day seven days a week. If I owned James Bond I'd be rich.
A/N: As alawys thanks Amy and Alani. This chapter is a bit of a tease sorry, but I promise, explosions are comming ;-)
Langly and I waited by the door listening to the noise in the hall. I had a lighter clenched like a stress ball in my hand.
"Right, one of the idiots is coming, get ready." Langly said.
I tightened my grip on the lighter until I was pretty sure the design would be permanently imprinted in my skin. We heard tables and chairs being pulled from the front of our door, and some very nasty cursing. Then the doorknob turned.
"FREEZE!" I said. "Or we'll blow this place to kingdom come!"
I held out the lighter and a Molotov cocktail for empathizes. Langly whispered "nice" under his breath.
"Jesus Christ girlie!" the goon said.
"Take us to Charlie." Langly said, aerosol can aimed and ready. "Now!"
"Okay, okay! Just don light that ting, okay? This was all Charlie's idea anyways."
We fallowed him down the hall feeling importiant and dangerous like spies, only not very good ones because we really didn't have a plan. That's about the time the panic set in, as I realized we didn't have a plan once we reached the room. But it was too late. Charlie sat on a couch that had seen better days flipping through T.V channels. The room itself looked amazing, a bottle of champagne was out by a bed covered in light pink rose petals. Light music played from a CD player. I listened, Pacabel's cannon, played sweetly by a string quartet. From the slightly ajar bathroom door I could see a drawn bubble bath surrounded by unlit cream colored candles. Then I saw the fireplace. I saw my own death played out over and over in my head. It was like being in a nightmare, a pleasantly scented nightmare.
"Okay both of you, get over by the wall. NOW!" Langly said.
"Wha the hell is this?" Charlie barked.
"A change of plans," I said. "So move now or…um else."
"Jesus, okay okay. We won move." Charlie said.
"Good…now Langly will um…Langly?"
We stared at each other for an awkward second.
"Okay, you go get some rope and I'll like stay here." Langly said.
"Right."
"Mary Pat?"
"Huh?"
"The lighter?"
"Right." I tossed it to Langly.
I walked out of the room without any sort of notion of where I was going to find rope. It would be really helpful if creepy motels, summer camps, pools and wooded areas came equipped with practical emergency supplies, like rope, phones, chainsaws, hockey masks, knives, kosher salt and holy water. That's when I heard screaming and Langly ran out of the room perfectly livid, shaking the lighter.
"Why is this empty?" he yelled.
"Oh." The realization hit.
"Oh?"
"I'm trying to quit smoking so I took the lighter fluid out…to remind me."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"If I remembered I wouldn't have emptied it as a reminder remember?" It had, in my defense, sounded like a really good idea at the time.
"It looks like plans have changed again don cha tink?" wingus and dingus smiled.