Bara no Scarlet
Chapter 16
Dream
When she opened her eyes, the first thing Anshii saw was sunlight streaming into the window, falling across the soft pink hair on the bed beside her.
On the bed beside her?
Anshii sat up with a gasp, green eyes widening, ChuChu falling off of her shoulder and tumbling down off of the bed with a startled "Chu!"
A blue eye opened, peering through the pink haze. "Eh.? Himemiya? What's wrong?"
Anshii watched in stunned shock as the woman sat up in the other bed, pushing her hair out of her face, looking at her in concern. There was no mistaking that voice, or the light in those blue eyes. It was Utena. She launched herself at the other woman, hugging her and calling her name with a voice that betrayed her tears. "Utena. Utena."
She was hugged back, her friend obviously bewildered. "Anshii. what is it? What. what happened?"
Anshii sat back and looked at those blue eyes that she remembered being so vacant. "I dreamed. I dreamed. such a horrible dream." She put her hand to her forehead and shook her head slowly.
ChuChu climbed back onto the bed and settled onto Anshii's pillow, looking around, ostensibly for food. Finding none, he settled for amusing himself with poking the pillow, muttering quietly to himself.
"Dream.? What did you dream?" Utena asked, ignoring ChuChu's antics and tilting her head at Anshii.
Anshii's long hair tumbled past her shoulders as she looked back to Utena, green eyes searching those of her friend. "I dreamed that you Dueled. that you were the one who went to the Final Duel. And. and." Her voice faltered, failing. Could she admit to Utena what she had done in her dream? She shook her head. "It was only a dream."
But was it? She certainly didn't feel the swords pressing against her skin, didn't feel the odd duality of existence that had been the Penance. Things that were once so fresh in her mind now seemed covered by a thin veil, hazy and distant.
"You know." Utena's voice drifted through the room as she stood and moved to the dresser, opening a drawer and fishing around within it. "I dream about that too, sometimes."
Anshii's eyes widened. "You.do.?" Absently, she fumbled with a curl of hair, flipping it back and forth between her fingers, watching ChuChu as he noticed, and started trying to catch her lock of hair.
Utena nodded, still rummaging in the drawer. "Darn, where'd I put the pink ones with the roses.? Anyway, I had a dream the other night that Touga hadn't won the Duel with me. That he hadn't gone on to the Final Duel. I did. And I won, in my dream. and."
Anshii felt a strange hollow in her stomach, forgetting about her hair, letting ChuChu catch the lock of hair as she brought her hand to her throat. "And what, Utena?" She asked very carefully, afraid of bursting that fragile bubble that seemed to have thinly formed around her.
Utena closed the drawer, having finally found the bra and panties that she had been looking for. Her nightgown swirled around her bare feet as she walked towards the closet. "He told me that he loved me, Anshii. Can you imagine? Touga Kiryuu in love with anybody but himself?" Shoulders shook with silent laughter. "The whole campus should have known that he only played at being a playboy. He led everyone on so. even poor Saionji was duped."
Anshii closed her eyes, forcing herself to take slow and steady breaths. What was this? Had she dreamed it all? Was all of it. all of it. her eyes opened, and she focused on Utena, who was rifling through the closet. "Utena. I." How could she ask without asking? If she could only find out about Akio. "My brother. Utena, look, I." ChuChu distracted her suddenly when he tugged her hair too hard, and she pulled her hair out of his hands, looking back to Utena.
Utena had paused, turned to look at Anshii, a school uniform in her hand. It was a standard girl's uniform, and not the black male jacket that Utena was well known for on campus. "Anshii. I know how much Akio meant to you. He. he meant a lot to me too. But you know as well as I that Touga didn't have a choice. The Laws of the Rose Seal." She sighed and shook her head, walking back towards her bed, tossing the uniform beside Anshii and reaching up to unbutton the collar of her nightgown. "What matters is that we're free now, Anshii. Ohtori is just an average school now. No more Duels, no more Swords."
Anshii stared at the floor, her head in her hands. So things were normal. She'd had a hideous nightmare. She and Utena were no different from any other girl on the campus. That was that.
So why didn't it feel right?
When she opened her eyes, the first thing Anshii saw was sunlight streaming into the window, falling across the soft pink hair on the bed beside her.
On the bed beside her?
Anshii sat up with a gasp, green eyes widening, ChuChu falling off of her shoulder and tumbling down off of the bed with a startled "Chu!"
A blue eye opened, peering through the pink haze. "Eh.? Himemiya? What's wrong?"
Anshii watched in stunned shock as the woman sat up in the other bed, pushing her hair out of her face, looking at her in concern. There was no mistaking that voice, or the light in those blue eyes. It was Utena. She launched herself at the other woman, hugging her and calling her name with a voice that betrayed her tears. "Utena. Utena."
She was hugged back, her friend obviously bewildered. "Anshii. what is it? What. what happened?"
Anshii sat back and looked at those blue eyes that she remembered being so vacant. "I dreamed. I dreamed. such a horrible dream." She put her hand to her forehead and shook her head slowly.
ChuChu climbed back onto the bed and settled onto Anshii's pillow, looking around, ostensibly for food. Finding none, he settled for amusing himself with poking the pillow, muttering quietly to himself.
"Dream.? What did you dream?" Utena asked, ignoring ChuChu's antics and tilting her head at Anshii.
Anshii's long hair tumbled past her shoulders as she looked back to Utena, green eyes searching those of her friend. "I dreamed that you Dueled. that you were the one who went to the Final Duel. And. and." Her voice faltered, failing. Could she admit to Utena what she had done in her dream? She shook her head. "It was only a dream."
But was it? She certainly didn't feel the swords pressing against her skin, didn't feel the odd duality of existence that had been the Penance. Things that were once so fresh in her mind now seemed covered by a thin veil, hazy and distant.
"You know." Utena's voice drifted through the room as she stood and moved to the dresser, opening a drawer and fishing around within it. "I dream about that too, sometimes."
Anshii's eyes widened. "You.do.?" Absently, she fumbled with a curl of hair, flipping it back and forth between her fingers, watching ChuChu as he noticed, and started trying to catch her lock of hair.
Utena nodded, still rummaging in the drawer. "Darn, where'd I put the pink ones with the roses.? Anyway, I had a dream the other night that Touga hadn't won the Duel with me. That he hadn't gone on to the Final Duel. I did. And I won, in my dream. and."
Anshii felt a strange hollow in her stomach, forgetting about her hair, letting ChuChu catch the lock of hair as she brought her hand to her throat. "And what, Utena?" She asked very carefully, afraid of bursting that fragile bubble that seemed to have thinly formed around her.
Utena closed the drawer, having finally found the bra and panties that she had been looking for. Her nightgown swirled around her bare feet as she walked towards the closet. "He told me that he loved me, Anshii. Can you imagine? Touga Kiryuu in love with anybody but himself?" Shoulders shook with silent laughter. "The whole campus should have known that he only played at being a playboy. He led everyone on so. even poor Saionji was duped."
Anshii closed her eyes, forcing herself to take slow and steady breaths. What was this? Had she dreamed it all? Was all of it. all of it. her eyes opened, and she focused on Utena, who was rifling through the closet. "Utena. I." How could she ask without asking? If she could only find out about Akio. "My brother. Utena, look, I." ChuChu distracted her suddenly when he tugged her hair too hard, and she pulled her hair out of his hands, looking back to Utena.
Utena had paused, turned to look at Anshii, a school uniform in her hand. It was a standard girl's uniform, and not the black male jacket that Utena was well known for on campus. "Anshii. I know how much Akio meant to you. He. he meant a lot to me too. But you know as well as I that Touga didn't have a choice. The Laws of the Rose Seal." She sighed and shook her head, walking back towards her bed, tossing the uniform beside Anshii and reaching up to unbutton the collar of her nightgown. "What matters is that we're free now, Anshii. Ohtori is just an average school now. No more Duels, no more Swords."
Anshii stared at the floor, her head in her hands. So things were normal. She'd had a hideous nightmare. She and Utena were no different from any other girl on the campus. That was that.
So why didn't it feel right?