Hello, all! This would be the clean variant of this chapter, without the lemony graphicness. It's the same except for a bit less...descriptiveness, on my part.
Sorry I took so bloody long to write this, but there are several reasons for that.
1: It's hard to write lemons! No matter how I try, every few lines I have to stand up and walk around a bit (for some reason), or I just can't continue. But I will soldier on, for it is the will of the fans, and I have a dirty mind.
2: I'm not exactly drawing from a bottomless well of experience, here. Experience provides the core, but much of my imagery is derived from my imagination and the writing techniques of others more skilled than myself. (Tempest would be a good example. Excellent writer, but don't read her stuff unless you're over 17.)
3: I went camping, so that ate up two days right there.
REVIEWS!!
Kai19: I don't think Inuyasha would take any crap from anyone, when he's with Kagome like that. And you have a definite point about Kagome not arguing. ^_^ * Unfortunately, the whole bit with "incognito" will not be revealed until next chapter, owing as it is to my creativity running out. * I don't think it would be in Hojo's best interests to try and challenge Inuyasha's claim on Kagome. * Sota's not THAT bad. And besides, even a major perv doesn't like to think about his own SISTER doing things like THAT.
Silver Warrior: I don't think he'd be willing to give Hojo up to the tender mercies of Inuyasha, you have a point there.
Ryguy5387: I have edited the last chapter to bring it back to PG-13ness. I'm happy that you thought it was amusing, though.
Mitsuki-kun: The way you said it before made it sound like the CORRECT spelling was "Kizo". But I will note this for in the future. * I WILL NEVER PUT ANYTHING OF MINE, NOT ONE WORD, ON THAT ABOMINATION KNOWN AS MEDIAMINER.ORG. (You do NOT want to know why. I'm still furious to this day.)
slvrstarlight: You have a definite point. I've gone back and changed the content. * Don't feel sad. They're anime characters! They can have sex twenty times a day if they want. Us mortals can't compare.
Chi Master: It would help if you were to tell me things about your story, e.g. what it's about, who the characters are, what it's based on, etc.
AkuReiX: Hard fluff is always good, but it was a bit too hard for some people's liking. And I don't want ff.net to get their beady little eyes on that chapter and BALEETE the whole story. * It's not that I don't like your reviews, I'm just saying. Short reviews = short response. Long reviews = long response. But ANY reviews no reviews.
megu-sama: I will.
riversan: It's sheer will that keeps me going now. Also, the desire to have this story told. * If you have a comment, then by all means either review with it or email me with it. All comments are useful.
Ashley Songer: I'm not going to make this lemon a full-chapter epic like Number 39, over there. That was my one great expenditure of energy. Any other lemons in the future of this story will be smaller. Like this one – two pages.
Elventeen: Apparently, others share your viewpoint, which is why I have edited the last chapter for offensive content.
RyoSanada1717: Cut, paste, read...wouldn't it have been easier to just wait until you were ONline to read the thing? * Yeah. The whole "I am not allowed to derive profit from this" clause kicks in here. * There's two versions of the chapter – one with the lemon, and one without.
Juna: I've wondered about that myself. Why not some sweet fruit, like cherries or grapes?
Celestra: Hojo defies logic in and of himself, most of the time. * Like I've said before, I've gone back and changed that chapter to make it less offensive. * Yeah, you could definitely be useful. Kai thinks almost identically to myself. I swear, I haven't just stolen her ideas and incorporated them into the fic. Well, most of them, anyway. * YES, I want this site! It sounds useful.
hersheykiss1012: They WILL get drunk again, make no mistake about THAT. But other stuff will happen first.
STORY!
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Chapter 53: An Uneventful Journey
"Right," said Tobias. "First, I need to make a phone call." He took the portable phone and went upstairs. A few minutes later, he came back downstairs.
"It's all arranged, then. He'll meet us here in half an hour."
"Who will?" asked Kagome.
"My driver. You don't think a guy as fantastically rich as me is ever short of hired help? He's bringing the limo. We might get there faster by running, but that might attract some attention, which I was kind of hoping to avoid."
"Half an hour, huh?" said Inuyasha. A grin began to appear on his face. He shot a glance at Kagome. She blushed and smiled sweetly back.
"Yes, Inuyasha, half an hour. And if you're not ready when he gets here, I'm leaving without you. We've already...ehh, used up enough time, and we can't afford to delay any longer," Tobias said.
But his words fell on deaf ears. Kagome leapt from her seat and ran, giggling, up the stairs. Inuyasha growled softly, giving her a head start before dashing up after her. Tobias sighed and smiled slightly.
A few seconds later, Sota came down the stairs, clutching his GameCube.
"They're up there again..." he said, annoyed. "I can't concentrate with them doing...that...right next to me." Tobias glanced at the videogame system Sota held. A grin slowly appeared on his face.
"Say, Sota...do you have Super Smash Bros. Melee?"
"I definitely prefer Young Link, myself," said Tobias as he hammered away at the controller. "I mean, Link is just too slow."
"Both of them are slowpokes next to Pikachu," shot back Sota. With a jolt of Thunder and a well-timed Smash Attack, Tobias's character was sent flying into oblivion. The match ended. Tobias dropped the controller and threw up his hands in despair.
"I don't believe it!" he said incredulously, as Sota howled with joyous laughter. "Best out of fifteen?"
"Oh, come on, Tobias," giggled Sota. "You know you're never gonna beat me."
"I've been around for seven thousand years, and yet I get totally whomped by this...this kid!" Tobias couldn't stop himself from cracking a grin. "That just isn't right!"
"I'll give you one more chance, Tobias," said Sota gleefully. "I'll even be a random character. Who will you be?"
"Definitely Samus. Let's go." The match started and they commenced pounding on each other. "This is for the super-ultra-grand-mega-champion-of-the-world-award!" shouted Sota as he thrashed Tobias's character about.
A horn beeped from outside. Tobias swiftly paused the game and looked through the window. Sure enough, a long limousine was parked outside.
"Hey, Sota, that's my ride. I gotta run...but first I have to get them." Both of them paused and looked, daunted, at the ceiling. Tobias wrinkled his brow.
"Evens," he said.
"Odds," said Sota.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Sota had paper, while Tobias had the rock. "I just can't win today..." said Tobias, with a mock-sigh. He went upstairs.
Twelve seconds later, he came flying back DOWN the stairs, missing them completely to crash into a heap at the bottom. He staggered upward only to be clocked in the head (oddly, by a clock) and fall down again.
"Inuyasha! That was mean!" rang Kagome's voice from the top of the stairs.
"He walked in on us again, goddammit! He deserved it!" came Inuyasha's angered growl.
"I'm actually fine..." said Tobias dolorously from the foot of the stairs. He got to his feet again and walked back up. "Inuyasha doesn't really hurt me when he does that. I don't want to be the cause of any trouble."
Inuyasha came down the stairs. "Bozo's caused enough trouble already," he muttered. In short order, all three of them were out by the limo.
"This one is state-of-the-art," Tobias said proudly. "Thirty feet long, cushioned seats made from velvet and goose down, an intercom system between the front and back compartments, and it's completely soundproof."
"Soundproof?" Inuyasha said.
"Soundproof. There's even a little curtain you can draw across this screen. Total privacy, for when you need it. So, I'll just-" Tobias was about to get in, and stopped.
Tobias looked at Inuyasha, who looked at Kagome, who looked at Tobias, who looked back at Kagome, who looked at Inuyasha, who looked back at Kagome, who looked back at Tobias, who looked at the both of them.
"Maybe I'll go up front," Tobias said. "After all, I need to talk to the driver anyway..." He smiled slightly as he opened the door. "Oh, and Inuyasha?" Inuyasha came over. "Try not to stain the fabric. It's very expensive." Inuyasha smirked. Kagome got in, then Inuyasha, then Tobias in the front seat.
Kagome was much impressed with the luxury of the insides as they drove off. It was done in tasteful shades of purple and red, with drinks and snacks littered about in little containers on the sides. There was a radio and an intercom system set up, and a TV.
She was soon distracted from this splendor, however, by Inuyasha pulling her onto his lap and capturing her lips in an intense kiss. Her tongue grazed lightly over his fangs, and he growled appreciatively. Breaking off the kiss momentarily, and waiting for her voice to normalize, Kagome turned on the intercom.
"What's up?" came Tobias's voice, crackling over the channel.
"How long will it be before we get there?" Kagome could hear Tobias speaking briefly with the driver (who had an English accent) before coming back to the mike.
"Jeeves says the traffic is pretty bad...it'll be about an hour. I'm sure you'll find some way to amuse yourselves." Kagome could almost see the ironic grin on Tobias's face as the intercom fell silent.
Inuyasha instantly swooped down and captured Kagome's lips in a heated kiss. He groaned into her mouth as her cool fingers began to gently rub his ears. In retaliation, he dragged his claws lightly over her mating mark, loving how she shuddered at his touch. With his other hand, he snagged her collar with one claw...
Tobias turned to the driver. "What's been happening while I was gone?"
"Nothing particularly important, sir. Some young punks tried to graffiti the building, but we frightened them away. A man came with what he said were taxes..."
Tobias sighed. "Just how many people do I have to bribe to stay out of the government's eye these days?"
Suddenly, "INUYAAASHAAAA!!!!" could be heard, even through the soundproof barrier.
Tobias and the driver (they were at a stoplight) both looked back at the opaque barrier; with Tobias, bemusement; with the driver, puzzlement.
"Remind me to increase the soundproofing, Jeeves," said Tobias.
"Yes, sir," said the driver, with just the shadow of a smile on his face. The light turned green and they took off.
Kagome's breathing finally began to slow as the last traces of sensation left her mind. Inuyasha had crawled back up her body and was deeply kissing her. Kagome sighed into his mouth, telling him without words how much she loved him.
"I'm far from finished with you, mate," he lightly growled, breaking off the kiss. "We still have some time left."
(A/N: Alas, my imagination ran dry at this point, and I was unable to come up with a suitable scene to round off the car ride. Even though I tried for three days. But all I produced was garbage. Sorry about that...it's one of the reasons for the delay.)
The limousine pulled to a halt outside a really dumpy-looking place. The outside was crumbling, the door was dented and dirty, and some construction equipment was rusting in a corner of the lot. It was, however, quite large.
Tobias turned around and picked up the intercom. "Hey, you two," he said playfully. "We're here. Saddle up."
About four seconds later, the untransformed length of Tetsusaiga smashed through the barrier, stopping about a millimeter from Tobias's face. But, they could stand a few more minutes alone, thought Tobias.
"Remind me to have that fixed."
"Yes, sir. Will you be staying with them?"
"Nope. I'm going in to refit myself. If they ever decide to come out of there, tell them that I'm in the armory and show them to there." Tobias walked to the building, opened the door (which opened surprisingly easily for how battered it looked) and walked inside.
Fifteen minutes later, an exhausted-looking Kagome and an exhilarated Inuyasha emerged from the passenger compartment. Jeeves acknowledged their presence without so much as a giggle, and showed them in.
"This dump is Tobias's house? I thought he was rich!" Kagome hissed.
"Appearances can be deceiving, milady. Allow me." Jeeves opened the door and Kagome and Inuyasha stepped inside.
The inside was the polar opposite of the dilapidated exterior. Here was the very picture of opulence. A massive marble hall dominated the entrance, fine works of art hanging on the wall. There was a skylight that sent picturesque beams of light scattered about the hall, exotic plants sprinkled every which way, ornate furniture, you name it, it was there.
"The outside is deliberately kept run down, milady," said the nonplussed Jeeves as he showed them in. "Were the exterior to match the interior in elegance, we would receive more than our fair share of guests, as you can imagine. As such, Master Tobias prefers to be left alone. Nobody in their right mind would enter such a worn-down building."
Tobias walked in through a door to their right, and came over.
"I'm getting lost in my own bloody house," he said with a grin. "I've been gone for too long. Jeeves, we're going to the armory." Jeeves nodded and set off, the rest following. Tobias glanced at Inuyasha.
"Umm, Inuyasha?" Inuyasha turned to Tobias. "You might want to wipe your mouth...you've got a little smear, there." Kagome blushed bright red, and Inuyasha's ears flattened back. As Tobias turned away, Inuyasha grabbed the end of his cape, causing him to jerk back.
Tobias turned around and started to ask, but he saw Inuyasha thoroughly cleaning his face with his (Tobias's) cape. When he was done, he let the cape go with a smirk. Tobias sighed and turned back to Jeeves.
"Remind me to have this cape dry-cleaned."
"Yes, sir."
They walked on for a few minutes more, when they took a left turn and ended up in sight of a door, which had an insignia of two crossed pistols on it.
"Hey! Here we are. I wanted to show you something..." Tobias leapt ahead and barged in through the door. His voice came out into the hallway, still.
"Remember that gun I used when Inuyasha and the others had gone crazy, and I was protecting Kagome? Well, I am completely out of ammunition, and besides, I'm getting bored of it. I need a sidearm, you know...I always have to have a backup plan. So I had some new ideas." Inuyasha walked into the door, only to find two gun barrels sticking into his face.
"Ha-ha!" Tobias brandished the shotgun at Inuyasha. "What do you think?" Without saying a word, Inuyasha grabbed the end of the barrels and twisted them upwards. Tobias looked at the ruined gun with bemusement, then chucked it to the side.
"Remind me to get a new shotgun."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, it just isn't easy to decide, you know." Inuyasha and Kagome stepped in to find a similarly ornate hall, but with one main difference. Hundreds, maybe thousands of different sorts of guns hung off the wall, ranging from derringers to rocket launchers.
"I use my sword, but you can't ALWAYS use a sword in some of the jobs I do," said Tobias as he picked up a pistol, examining it. "Like if my target is in a car. What am I going to do, run up and slash their tires? I need distance weapons occasionally." He held up the pistol.
"Now there's a nice piece of work. 9 millimeter. Unlike that .357 magnum beast I carted around before, I think I can actually fire this one without breaking my wrist. And the muzzle velocity is higher, so it actually does about the same amount of damage. Kooky, eh?" Kagome watched with growing apprehension. Tobias wasn't practicing gun safety at all. What if one of them discharged?
"Tobias, don't you think you should be a little more careful?"
"Careful? What for? I'm not pointing at any of you, and I think I'm tough enough to survive one bullet shot." Tobias put back the pistol and grinned. "Now, with one of THESE, I have to be careful." He hefted, from the top rack, a bazooka.
"Portable Merr-Sonn HE dumb-fire missile system," Tobias rattled off. "Easy to use. Almost too easy. Why, all you have to do is press this button and-" His words were lost as a missile erupted from the end of the tube, streaking out and shattering the opposite wall.
As the dust cleared, Tobias carefully replaced the bazooka and gave a wry smile.
"Remind me to have that wall replaced."
"Yes, sir."
"But it looks like our little misfire is not in vain." Tobias peered through the hole in the wall. "That hole leads right to the baths. And don't take me wrong here..." He turned to the other two. "But Kagome, you're looking pretty sweaty, there. I think you could stand to clean yourself off." He turned back around.
"And yes, before you ask, the baths are big enough for two people. So Inuyasha might just get clean, too." Inuyasha grinned. Maybe this will make up for all those damn times he walked in on us, he thought. He's actually understanding for a change. "Inuyasha, could I talk to you for a second?"
Inuyasha and Tobias walked off into a corner. "Inuyasha, recently you and Kagome have been...getting busy...at basically any time you have the option. Why is this? I mean, why so much?"
Inuyasha took his time to answer. "It's just that...we're in Kagome's time, now. The General can't get to us, demons can't attack us, the shards are all here...it's safe. I want to make the most of this time that we have together, when we're not in danger."
"You know, Inuyasha, that makes a lot of sense." Tobias clapped Inuyasha on the shoulder. "But when you're through in there, would you be interested in accompanying me to the finest selection of clubs and bars? I can promise you that you will NOT leave sober, if you do it right."
Inuyasha grinned. "Sounds fun. But first, Kagome and I have to take a bath." His grin grew wider as he came over to Kagome. He picked her up bridal-style, causing her to yelp in surprise, and walked through the hole in the wall to the baths.
Tobias looked at them vanishing into the room and grinned. "Those two..."
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Indeed, those two. But there's a method to their madness! Do you care? Likely not, but I needed a reason anyway. If you enjoyed this chapter, why not read the lemon version? If not, you know what to do...REVIEW!